Hear from LA's most Unconventional Celebrity Life Coach & Therapist. Jamie Greene's knowledge of human behaviour and psychology has been accumulated over 25+ years of helping people in every kind of life situation imaginable. Learn More at JamieGreene.com

Our Inner Saboteur

What do I want? Where can I find it?
It's one of the more common presenting issues that many of my clients face today. Him... or Her.
Even if you're in a blissful relationship. There's still that nagging question of "What really makes me (us) happy?"
What I've found for many of us is that we're just too busy to slow down and connect.

A Date With The Universe

It's tough living in our heads.

I see so many people seeking approval from people they barely respect or don't even admire.

What on earth is motivating them?

There's a certain tedium in plowing through your dilemmas alone. No one to burden with our inner struggles over crucial decisions.
Libra's know what I'm talking about.
We all want to do the right thing. Make the right move. Be triumphant. 
But there's no substitute for taking risks.
How would we ever figure out who we are if we didn't stand for something?
Stop cheating the system and thinking that you're going to get away with the risk of disapproval.

Risking Disapproval

http://jamiegreene.com/essential-qualiti…sting-connection/

With the disheartening statistics of divorce in mind, I took it upon myself to find out what men and women really look for as essential qualities for true lasting connection... The results are as old fashioned as apple pie!

Essential Qualities For Lasting Connection

I believe at some point in our lives, we all need to reinvent ourselves.
What does it take? How do you reinvent yourself?
Listen in for my 3 step process.

The Path To Reinvention

One of my specialties throughout my career has been anxiety disorders. Listen in as I demystify a "signal of conflict" that shows up in our lives.

A Cautionary Tale

Is there such a thing as a divorce being a success? Well there really is and I don't mean who ends up with more bang for your buck in court or who walks away with less custody agreement. I'm talking about a mature completion of a relationship. 

The Merit Of A Successful Divorce

I'm going to talk to you today about what I call a corrective marriage vow, what a marriage vow should be because clearly what it tends to be is not working, not when the divorce rate is well over 50%, probably 70% at this point. So what I mean by corrective is this: rather than marriage most being "I promise I am going to do this" and "I'm sure you're going to do that till death us do part" and "I do" and all that kind of stuff.

Really what it comes down to and it's a little bit more elaborate, but what I talk to my couples about is this: what a marriage vow should be, is along the lines of...

"Look I know I bring a lot of baggage that pre-existed before I even met you and I know I am bringing into the relationship; some of it I've worked through, some of it I haven't, but I know it is there. And there are going to be times when I'm going to blame you or project on to you that you are the baggage or that you are responsible for me having a baggage and I know now that that is not true, but just remind me when that happens, that I'm going to have that illusion. And I think there are going to be times when I wish you could take it away from me and there are going to be times when I'm going to deny it even exists and I'm going to accuse you of it, even your baggage and that's likely to come. So what I am unconditionally committed to is accepting you while you work through all of your baggage and I ask the same of you that you just can hold me and unconditionally accept me while I own working through mine. And together as a team, we can support each other to win."

Much more likely that that marriage is going to work out, so I'll just have you think about that. Whether you have given traditional vows or not, whether you have renewed your vows or not, you might just want to privately have a little renewal opportunity with your partner and see if you can get behind what I would call a corrective marriage vow. I wish you the best.

Corrective Marriage Vows

One of the patterns I recognize a lot in the people that I work with and a lot of the people who are drawn to self-development and working on themselves and really improving their lives and coaching and mentoring and therapy, there is a very common, almost measurable quality which is they are all incredibly generous, caring, thoughtful, sincere, aware, people who are compassionate, want to help others, want to do good, purpose driven. Yet the commonality seems to be that they have a difficulty really in receiving all of that for themselves, being able to really take it in.

So what I want to talk today about is what it means to really take it in.

So I was giving an analogy to one of my clients yesterday about how to think of this.

In many ways, it's about intimacy. Taking something in is about being seen, it's about – there is almost a barrier of shame that comes up in being seen and that's really what we want.

We just don't trust that we are going to be embraced and accepted once we are seen. So the analogy is this, is that you know when FedEx or UPS come to deliver a package, especially one that requires a signature, you have to sign for it before you can receive it. You actually have to be involved in the process, you have to co-create it. A lot of people like to leave notes on the door which is a little bit less intimate, less likely that you're going to get the package when you want it because then they are going to come back later on. So the key here is getting in the game, really being involved and being able to personally be part of the process and receiving, it's about opening up and trusting and allowing.

We have some pretty sophisticated defense mechanisms where we deflect and we come up with all sorts of reasons why we don't have time for ourselves and martyr ourselves and none of that really is walking the walk. So just something to think about, you are one of those people, if you're listening to this audio blog, there is a good chance that you are. You might be one of those thoughtful, caring, considerate people that really cares for others and will do anything for your friends and people you care about. But you may not quite invest in the same way for yourself, there is almost like there is a gap between the amount of care that you know people have for you and the relationship with yourself where you really can feel that for yourself.

Take It In

Look back through 2015, this was a tough year for a lot of people. Not necessarily in relation to tragedy, but more so in terms of pushing through barriers and personal challenges. I’ve certainly noticed it in all of the coaching work I’ve been doing in the past year.

Think about some of the things that have been a highlight for you this year…
Where have you grown? How do you know that you’ve grown?

Maybe you made a huge decision to leave your job, embark on a new venture or finally start that project that you’ve always wanted to. Everything from relocation to reinvention.

Calling It In

After 20 years of classic therapy burn-out, tired of endless intellectual processing and self-examination, he closed his practice, moved out of his office and reinvented himself as “An Unconventional Coach”.
Whereas traditional therapy delves into the lengthy processing of feelings, interpretations and insight, Jamie’s refreshing approach to coaching focuses on cutting through stories, uncovering the truth and providing practical tools to living more authentically.

Jamie Greene

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