it's hard

lyrics:
i scribbled symphonies of peace to cope with finding out the truth
worked as needed reaching what middle school me would think was cool
fiddling pens and pencils pensive wasn’t picky with the tool
i’d use for some naive translation of my angst and fragile mood

i can’t afford it now

growing pains replaced with what the bills are like in winter now
since the cold ascended i can’t shake the taste of poetry
phonetically imperfect pretty speech protruding out of me
im cramming syllables to cry of colder temps and picture books
reliving twisted memories romanticizing what it took
to be alive surviving prerip jeans and social trends
extending my insistence on reliving those remember when’s

it’s a fucked up toxic endeavor

middle child needs attention to feel valid who’da guessed it?
choose an evening to feel hollow with my grief i’ve been selective
been a lot of things over the years but never been objective
i’m a passive dude

some would call it sitting fence and when i’m honest i probably would too
at my expense i picked the easiest escape when i could
now im desperate to do something i should

cause there’s something bout finality that scares me
wavered care perpetuated the impression that i’m distant and aware
of ticking hours minutes seconds sticking strictly to my regiment
rejected any message i was yet to learn my lesson
started strong and i accepted that’s enough to use the leverage
and projected progress farther now it’s a little more than hard
to understand i’m on a limit always finish weaker than i started
know how to begin but stutter further in the tempo how ironic

looking in the mirror a song by melmige thank you for listening [prod. eeryskies]

mania (ft. branwen)

prod by stezzyxl
enjoy^\^

lyrics:
you used me as a tool
i was a fucking fool
you haven’t changed one bit
u better stop before u run out of fuel
out of fuel

i don’t wanna be
ur lover
lover
oh lover
cry me a river
i’ll savor
i’ll savor
the flavor
i wont let u get to me
anymore
anymore
oh anymore
is this what you call love?
you stupid whore
stupid whore
oh stupid whore

you’re too far gone
you’re broken you better run
run
broken pieces along the floor
the floor
i’ve been here before
before 

your name is on my lips
and how do i get rid of it
you left me just for him
i used to cry, but now i grin :)

i don’t wanna be
ur replacement
replacement 
oh replacement
cry me a water fall
let the tears fall
let the tears fall
until you fucking drop

you’re too far gone
you’re broken you better run
run
broken pieces along the floor
the floor
i’ve been here before
before

lover

prod by me <3
on spotify this friday

lyrics -
keep on talking what's your name
no ones looking whos to blame

you cant understand
why no one cares

maybe your one of many
who dares

but your one to mix pain and pleasure
maybe nothing wont come ever

do you see how much you changed 
after you lost

no ones there for you
yet you beg n choose
why do you believe that anybody's following you
your reflection speaks
nothing there but creeks
the only thing you see are rodents who just wanna eat
daddy's money come in handy when you needa eat
that Loui bag wont do you nothing if you wanna sleep
it feels like time is going slow with what you wanna see
cause nobody's around yeah
you just wanna follow the creek
-----------------------------------------

flower petals ✾

creek

guitar by melon 

lyrics:
in the meadow is where i lay 
of myself im so ashamed 
but here is where ill stay 
the trees wont judge me 
they watch peacefully 
is that u i see?
here is where ill stay 
i really hate myself 
but nothing here will judge me 

close my eyes 
more then ever now its hard to get by
it hasn’t been easy 
i wont lie
i think about you all the time
i’m not confident i’ll win this fight


animals in the distance 
if i blink i might miss them 
in the meadow is where i lay 
of myself im so ashamed 
but here i’ll stay  
here i’ll stay

meadow

cover of the song 'arctic eyes' by 9TAILS
produced by nciku

heylog - arctic eyes (9TAILS & nciku)

produced by @nevrfall <3

https://open.spotify.com/track/37qROKHfy3JU9CC0UazJTd?si=9687b5613dfb4759

lyrics:
Can you hit me up? i just wanna be with you
Can u listen up, there‘s no other girl then you
Cant u just talk to me? Cant i just be with you?
Cant u just need me? Cause i need you
Talk to me again, i know i cut you off
Ur voice is just so gentle, everytime we talked
Meet me in my dreams, if i cant have u here
Its unfair, i cant get your tention my dear

Now i am crying out but no tear shows on my face
I think i used them up, all gon for your sake
You got me real sad, it’s always this way
God i am so depressed but i am always this way
Oh no need to ask, i‘ll just say i am a okay
I am waiting for a ring, on my phone just any day
See you in a fiction where u‘ll maybe stay
See you in a fiction where you give me a „hey“
Running in the wind, far away hear thunder break
Rain is droppin on my hair, runnin down my face
Forget where u comin from, i just want you to stay
You can tell me anything, i promise i‘ll keep it safe

Tell me anything you like, i’ll provide you shelter
Ask me what you wanna know about me, i‘ll tell her
My mind is such a mess when i am talking to her i get nervous
Oh my hands are getting really sweaty when u stare at me
Running down my palms i feel my face is turning red
My other hands around my neck cause i don’t know where to put it
oh my i am so nervous, oh my i am so nervous

Now i am crying out but no tear shows on my face
I think i used them up, all gon for your sake
You got me real sad, it’s always this way
God i am so depressed but i am always this way
Oh no need to ask, i‘ll just say i am a okay
I am waiting for a ring, on my phone just any day
See you in a fiction where u‘ll maybe stay
See you in a fiction where you give me a „hey“

funfact: i dont like this song :3

u can tell me anything, i promise i'll keep it safe (p. nevrfall)

prod by solstic

Can i call you mine
mine 2x
All mine 13x

All mine

lyrics

now she starting to see me in a different light
and u act like u dont need me and it get me tight
ill make u a song if u give me time
and she gonna fall in love if the feelings right
pitch black skies blanket street lights
yesterday i grew wings and today ill fly
all the snakes in her hair will leave me petrified
baby its just me and u until we die

i put a jacket on
this room feel like an igloo in the winter
she make it even colder when she starting pointing fingers
baby i know, im so fucked up im a drinker
but i can make some pretty lyrics im a thinker

got me chilling up in the studio ripping blinkers
think back to the nights when we would blow out all our speakers
if none of that really ever met that much its unfortunate to say that im a tweaker
got me tripping out like you dont really mean that
miss when we would hit the mall
and we would pop tags
knew you wouldnt take the fall
so i took a step back
go ahead and try to call
but i wont hit back
you cant brush this off cuz you know that i live in doubt
you knew what the cost was when i didnt allow
ive been so exhausted
got me in a drought
make me blossom whenever youre around
passing options every night in town
that cautious laughter doesnt make me feel proud
wish that we could feel right
wish she saw a different light

now she starting to see me in a different light
and u act like u dont need me and it get me tight
ill make u a song if u give me time
and she gonna fall in love if the feelings right
pitch black skies blanket street lights
yesterday i grew wings and today ill fly
all the snakes in her hair will leave me petrified
baby its just me and u until we die

aurora borealis in the sky i would still prefer to look in your eyes
you havent called my phone in a minute bet youll blow it up the day that i die
thinking that you hate me so i dont reply
and when they put me six feet, would you cry
i guess i wont find out there'll be dirt in my eyes
baby hurry up and tell me what you want
and dont you give me that little look you do when you wanna fuck
cliche but all i wanna do is smoke a blunt
you dont understand how this shit helps me
breathe it in and breathe it out
i know its not healthy
without it im geeking out
its been a while since we fell out
but im still fiending now
man i fucking hate my heart wish i could tear it out

now she starting to see me in a different light
and u act like u dont need me and it get me tight
ill make u a song if u give me time
and she gonna fall in love if the feelings right
pitch black skies blanket street lights
yesterday i grew wings and today ill fly
all the snakes in her hair will leave me petrified
baby its just me and u until we die

petrified! w/ brecken & kiddamo (p. nevrfall)

produced by heylog

lyrics:
i just hide upstairs 
acting like i care
when you send me a message 
my feelings are not there 
find me in the woods 
know where i have stood 
thunderstorms passing over 
oh man i'm feeling good 
i just disappeared 
no i do not care 
if you send me a text message 
i'll just leave it there 
scout me in the sticks 
somewhere in the twigs 
oh somehow all the pain stops 
am i a new person 

i just found out all i need to know 
write it down and jot it in my notes 
i cannot trust anyone, no soul 
no we're not close 
ur not my bro 
said you were but anything to get aim 
oh and all this talk is startin to rot my brain 
and honestly i'm startin to lose my patience 
i'm tired of waiting 
i'm up

woods

buy here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMgZ_KaKW5M

All mine

Jasmine<3

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