Lyrics: 

After have been mesmerized by the shine of your eyes
After tasting the greatest joy nothing will ever be enough to let you go
to say goodbye, to tell a lie...
And the shadows of my memories they're trying to hunt me down
and the picture of the future isn't quite clear enough to feel secure,
to be strong, it's not enough...

and I'm trying so hard, to be who I'm ought to
and I'm feeling so down and I believe just you can turn this black
to sparkling jewels, like God would too...
I'm seeking for the real me who I'm ought to

And the structure of all my guesses is dubious 
and the essence of the greatest values seems like a wild horse
just trying to jump up the fence that locks you too
And the shame is on myself now that I'm begging for your love
I keep calling with my thoughts all the things that I fear the most
stupidity, so human now, please don't leave me...

And I'm trying so hard, to be who I'm ought to
And I'm trying desperately to do what I'm supposed to do
to leave behind, all the sorrow, that I've been through
I'm seeking for, the real me, who I'm ought to.

_______________________________________________________________

I wrote this song back in 2012. I was in a rough spot back then, nothing worked out. I felt inadequate and unworthy of having any success or being loved by anyone. This song represents that struggle and the never-ending journey of becoming a better version of oneself.

Ought To

Lyrics: 

Everything that I have done has led me to be right here, 
I wonder what I did wrong...
Cuz I find myself alone and I long for someone here, 
I pushed away everyone...
Trusting myself is like trusting a thief, Did I take from everyone?
Not as much they took from me...
And I knew it all along, in my pocket there's the key, 
I still won't open the door...

The weariness that grows within...

I wish you could read my thoughts and see what it's underneath
I'm not really that strong, I only pretend to be...
I think what it hurts the most is that you have never seen
who can I really become, and the one to blame is me.

Everything out my control is not part of what I think, 
my reaction is all I own...
In spite of all I know my thoughts run over one thing, 
All that I cannot control...
Talking to myself is talking to a shrink who can't stop checking the clock,
he's got somewhere else to be...
and another chance is gone, and I had the goddamned key, 
but I knocked down every door...

The loneliness that pulls me in...

-Chorus-

Alone

Lyrics: 

Though simple as it seems, it's had a heavy toll, 
you live the aftermath of what you knew was coming along
when nothing seems to be the way you thought it was
do not give them your truth expecting them to do you likewise

Decoding messages and digging through the past
a pointless search for something that it does not need to be found
You long for something else, sometimes for what you had
You're not the one who left, you are the one who was left behind

It's hard to see how all the world forgot who you are
they're not deserving of the light you'd shine on them all
There's nothing wrong expecting some due retribution 
You've cast away your wrongs they are to hear you out now

(It punctures through, you did it to yourself)

You're the only one able to see able to fill the void inside
the Daemon speaks but when I act, that's not all me, you know that...
There's a better side, the one you've seen, You've gone too far,
We belong here, Just seal the pact and stay with me. 

Though simple as it seems, it had a heavy toll...
This is the aftermath that we all knew...

Left Behind

The talk you need with the friend you have.

Friend

Magna By ShinnoBi

This song is about people trying to lead a normal life while secretly having a tendency for ¨Dark Desires¨ and violence. People who daydream about hurting other people. People who those around them expect them to act ¨Normal¨ despite of knowing that they've always shown signs of not being like the rest; that's how the bitterness builds up and eventually manifests itself.


Lyrics: 

Meditation won't cut it again, though I really tried...
And these thoughts that are clouding my head, I can't get rid of...
I've got visions I'd like to fulfil, but that seems so far...
Just be thankful for all is given, the bitterness grows...

Tried to journal what it's in my head, I tried really hard...
To avoid writing what's really there, I couldn't hold out,
To evil plots, to dark desires, the longing for setting you on fire...
Just a few understand what it is, to hold a facade...

You try convincing yourself what I've shown it's not existing...
Cannot keep hiding what we both know underneath is lying...
Futile resistance you cannot overwrite this system...
Meditation won't cut it again, though I really tried...

Bitterness

Lyrics:

We have tried everything but trying is not what this is for
We won't find any peace at the same place we lost it all
We're lying to ourselves pretending this can be restored 
there's nothing else to build, there's no come back once that you're gone

Is it enough to try to apologize for all we've said and done?
Tell me if we have to hurt each other so bad to notice what we ignore?

But we crave company, we long for all we had before
how long this time we'll keep what we've lost many times before

Is it not enough to come back when you're still hurt?
Isn't what you need, try to fix the unfixable?
We're lying to ourselves thinking that what we did is not wrong
there's nothing else to heal, does it come back the one who's gone?

Is it enough to try to apologize for all we've said and done?
Tell me if we have to hurt each other so bad to notice what we ignore?

And all we reminisce it keeps us coming back for more
An act we couldn't keep the truth resurface at some point
And we crave company, we long for all we had before
how long this time we'll keep what we've lost many times before

Unfixable

-Lyrics-

I'm breaking up this chain
I'm leaving you behind
There's no more grieve
There's no more pain to hide
What you had written is not my story
I'm writing my own now
I won't seek revenge
You have doomed your own life

When the damage is done
the hurt one feels the guilt 
the pain molding the soul
the anger that's within 
it brings no answer 
I can't go on like this
what has been done is done
that burden is yours to keep

Doomed

Lyrics:

...And now that I have said it to you
you're judging me like always 
lethologica same excuse to fool us
it's not going to be enough again
I'll keep coming back despite what happened
I know is not the best of calls
You'll keep coming back to feed your hunger
our sweat's becoming flammable

When I'm about to get over you
you're putting me in the same spot
there's nothing new on the sh*t you did this time
but is me the fool who should've known
I cannot help to fall in once again
your smell is the thing that turns me on
it doesn't matter how F**ed up it gets
a vicious circle we enjoy

But not this time, not again
I'm breaking this soul-sucking habit
of giving more than you deserve 
I'm leaving with what I might have left
but now this time I won't give in
I'm gathering the pieces of my strength 
there's so much more than what you give
I'm leaving to find myself again!!!

Flammable

- Lyrics -
I've been trying to decipher what's inside this mess
Trying to connect dots to point where all of this began
should we punish ourselves for the wrongs that we once made
or indulge ourselves in pleasure then regret.
But my conscious is flawed, I enjoy the pain
is there a deeper bottom I'd not go down for the sake of being with you?
That I'd do, for you...

What I know is wrong keep drawing circles in my head
When the wrong feels right is enough to burden all the guilt
If I could only keep all promises made to myself
instead, I keep blaming God and just being itself, as always...
But my conscious is flawed, I keep seeking pain
there's not a rock bottom I'd not go down for the sake of chasing you
That I'd do, for you...

...What's inside this mess
...When all this began
...pleasure then regret.

Rock Bottom

Colombian producer, singer, and songwriter.

Javier Gugo

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