https://rytmp3.fun/download/6e724939485f674b4a5970/

Tell me, what were you thinkin
Tell me, what are your reasons
Tell me, do you feel well when your sleeping
Tell me, why were you cheating
Tell me, why did you wasted my time
Tell me, why did you have to lie
Tell me, why were you with other guys
Tell me, why didn't you just leave

gave you my heart, you were so ruthless
gave you my world, u said it was useless
Never answered my phone, left me clueless
After 2 years, you would put me through this
Truth is, you will never feel my pain
And after you left, you shattered my brain
And as you guessed, it was my mistake
And as you thought it was me to blame

Looking back at the good times, and no feedback 
Had her in my life, i didn't think i need that
People said she lied, and i never believed that
saw her with other guys, and now i believe that
She had a disguise, and i never saw beneath that
Then i realized, i was too attached to see that
She was so kind, and i never saw through that
Now we broken ties, and i guess we can end that

Tell me, what were you thinkin
Tell me, what are your reasons
Tell me, do you feel well when your sleeping
Tell me, why were you cheating
Tell me, why did you wasted my time
Tell me, why did you have to lie
Tell me, why were you with other guys
Tell me, why didn't you just leave

i didn't think u were gonna be like this
You broke my heart and i had to write this
It was so sad to see you slit your right wrist
I had to be there, when you let your blood drip
But you were never here, when my heart got ripped
Were we gonna be happy? i never read the script
I was so surprised when u got ur bags and dipped
I guess i'm gonna be home alone again

After all these years you became so different
After all those years you became so distant
People warned me, but i never listened
But during that time i must have missed it
We had such a good time together 
Going through adversities in any weather
We had big plans but i guess it's whatever
But i will never forget what u severed

Tell me, what were you thinkin
Tell me, what are your reasons
Tell me, do you feel well when your sleeping
Tell me, why were you cheating
Tell me, why did you wasted my time
Tell me, why did you have to lie
Tell me, why were you with other guys
Tell me, why didn't you just leave

I have to move on, cause i'm stuck in the dirt
I have to be strong whenever i am hurt
And when i'm hurt, i have to put me first
u buried my hate and buried my shame 
Buried my emotions that made me ashamed
I buried myself in my own darkened grave
And now i can't escape, but i shoulda knew
That the worst part about it, is that you were there too

Tell me what your thinking

Beat name "3 AM emotional rap piano instrumental 2022"

HEADPHONES RECOMMENDED 

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Don’t give up on me, and I won't give up on you (It was)
A promise that we made, but we couldn't pull through (and)
I tried to be flawless, but perfection only hurts you (and)
You wanted something that I didn't have, so I lost you (Alone)

I always thought you were the one, but i was wrong (you were)
Called a “gift from god”, but blessings never last long (I)
surrendered all i had, and now i'm writing this song (And)
I had to move on, and now I’m…

Searching for something that's already been lost 
I been trying to walk it off and save what i’ve got
Cause i tried saving us, and look what it cost
Two broken hearts and now we’re…(searching for love) X2

I shoulda listened to my thoughts before I got addicted (cause i)
texted you a couple days ago and i regret it (cause I)
Never shoulda went back and told myself to forget it (I shoulda)
Turn my phone off and pretend you never even existed (woo)

Now i'm heartbroken, and the reasons are scattered (And I’m)
Lost in my emotions in the pieces I gathered (But I)
Put myself in motion and seen the patterns (that I)
Sailed across oceans just to be..

Searching for something that's already been lost 
I been trying to walk it off and save what i’ve got
Cause i tried saving us, and look what it cost
Two broken hearts and now we’re…(searching for love) X2


Searching for love

A deep and meaningful song about how you gained burdens and trauma and put it out on our previous lovers, and you're hoping that the next won't be the same.

Beat name: "powfu x sadboyprolific type beat stay with me rxseboy x"

I grew up under a drunk roof, with arguing in front of me
I was always in a dark room, absorbing, anything that I’ve seen
I didn’t know how to act or feel cause i witnessed my family fighting
So if i think that you're cheating, please just make me feel relieved
Cause it seems like jealousy is the only thing that i've known
It's not a memory, its an identity, that i'm so scared to show
And I know that you think I need therapy, but not if you help me cope
And i swear that I'll treat you right, only, if you call me your own

And I really hate socializing, especially if you left me to roam
Cause all i wanted was someone to hold, whenever, i was alone
So if you never even picked up the phone, Ill mentally won't be at home
I know that I got trust issues, but know I will always pick up the phone

(As long as you stay X3)
(As long as you stay with me)
(You belong right in this moment)
(I'm falling fast, my heart is stolen)
(Don't bother asking if everything is alright with me)
(As long as you stay with me)

With all the past trauma that i endured, i swear that i wanted to change
Cause my past lovers gave me burdens and i was the only one to blame
And I never wanted to hurt them, with actions, based on the way i was raised
I felt bad and regret it, but there was no way i could have refrained
And I don’t know if I wrote this song for my lover or even my own depression
But I wanted you to know, that im not perfect even if we shared a connection
I'm grasping onto a curvy rope, and your the only one who can make me flatline
And i'm hoping, that god will give me more time for you to be all mine

These burdens

Beat name: Free sad type beat "I lost myself"

A song about you talking to Darker side of you, which has a plot twist. Very deep on multiple levels and different lines have multiple meanings. 

HEADPHONES RECOMMENDED for best results. 



I was lonely in my own thoughts (nobody’s there)

Happiness slowly walked away (she isn’t here)

Darkness held me at all cost (You were scared)

Done unholy things and left me astray, you


Wanted more than what I could give (Your innocence) 

Is torn and i can never forgive (My insolence)

Always ignored my wish to live (Your ignorance)

Would always let manipulation win, but it’s


So sad to see that you didn't care (Your pain)

Expands to the point i couldn't bare (It rains)

Down my hands, i wasn't prepared (Chains)

Left me to bathe in my own despair, but you


Sang along to my agony (Your regret)

Played on the most saddest strings (My neglect)

Stomped across my pleas to breathe (The debt)

Of affection forces me to believe that you


Never seemed to even love me (I hate you)

I could never have a recovery (I made you)

Never seemed to care for me (I used you)

I could never even forgive you (I blame you)


I gave you a home (left you alone)

I gave you control (I have grown)

I gave you clothes (left you cold)

I gave you gold (You shoulda known)


I never let you get held by the throat

(Your high hopes now hang from the rope)

I would have never putten you in the scope

(I would have shot you til you’re dead and cold)

 

Every single day, I try, and loved you

(I put you through pain at night, and fought you)

I would let you play despite the torture

(I am darkness, and I WARNED YOU)


I carried you through anything i was going through

What even happened to the child that i once knew

Just because we made mistakes doesn’t mean i hate you

I know that you hurt me, but i still love you


Seemed like the older i got, you left me

I would try to get you back if you let me

But I'll murder you if you test me

But tell me, did you ever even love me


Cause I swear to god that I loved you

And yes, I know that people hurt you too

And I hated that you got distant in the same room

Even your soul is still watching the same cartoons


Even our world is burning through the darkened fumes

You were so innocent, but now you’re bruised

And i'm so confused what even made you


 (It was the trauma that you put me through)

Poetry for the darkness

A song for your siblings...

Beat name: "Free for profit sad type beat I don't wanna be without you" By Jerry the producer


Know that I love you, Know that i'm here

Whatever the weather, I'll always be there

No matter the distance, I'll always repair

The pieces that you kept so dear

But I, can’t wait to see you in a couple years

Your brother will be home to wipe your tears

I can’t wait to see that you’ve grown up

I'm gone now but I miss you so much

While writing this song, i froze up

Realizing i'm turning into a grown-up, and I

  Appreciate you being in my life

Even though you gave me a rough time, but I

have the photos of you as a baby

I still have the drawings you made me

I still have the memories you gave me

I'm gonna be leaving when im eighteen

And i hope you’ll forgive me, but I


I don't want to be without you (No, no)…x4


I still have the photos of you as a baby

I still have the drawings you made me

I still have the memories you gave me

I hope you live long til you’re eighty

I remember the song that you made me

I remember the laughs that you gave me

I remember when you made me crazy

I remember the jokes that you made me

I remember the lessons you gave me

I remember the love that you gave me

(woo)

(No, no)

I know that i wasn't really there, but i tried my best

You don’t know it now, but i was really depressed

You don't know it now, but i have my regrets

You don’t know it now, but im sorry again

You never really learned how to give respect

I hope you forgive me, but nevertheless

I'm just really impressed that you made it this far

Just remember you both are in my heart and I

Really wanted you to know I love you

Wish i would have shown more love sooner

Maybe our lives would have been much smoother

I’ll always remember you if i ever did lose you

There or not, I don't want to be…without you


I still have the photos of you as a baby

I still have the drawings you made me

I still have the memories you gave me

I hope you live long til you’re eighty

I remember the song that you made me

I remember the laughs that you gave me

I remember when you made me crazy

I remember the jokes that you made me

I remember the lessons you gave me

I remember the love that you gave me

(woo)

I don't want to be without you (No, no)…x4



I don't wanna be without you

Beat name: Unknown (made by someone else)

Tried something different. I had a writers block for a while, so you'll hear 2 different voices through the song. Did some cool effects and stuff, I don't know, just something I never do. 

Always fuckin testing my patience (patient)

Just cause i smile doesnt mean im complacent 

Pushing me around is a violation 

I'm frustrated that i always get manipulated (fuck you)


Knock knock and make ya head nod but not like kidz bop

Try to touch me and you’ll get popped, like chris rock 

You unlocked something you don't wanna come across

Betray me and i swear i’ll leave you on the sidewalk 


Put my phone on do not disturb 

Another lesson learned but it's what you deserved 

Left you alone so i know it hurts 

Another bridge burned but I improved my…(wuh)


When it comes to lyrics im dope like fentanyl 

Mic parched like my saliva was a biochemical 

Call me general the way I drop this missile 

I'm not a stormtrooper, cause i'll never miss you 


Just because you're acting doesn't mean i will respect you (Yeah)

If I give you affection doesn't mean i'll give you refuge (Yeah)

Just because we laughing doesnt mean i will let you (Yeah X4)

talk shit behind my back, cause thats a fucking issue (Look)


Talk talk talk, but bitch I can’t hear you

Shock shock, shock, when i finally leave you

Gotta brake check when you’re in my rearview

Never gonna break checks cuz I didn’t need you (wuh)


Gotta look down, this hill’s so steep

Even spartans fall when your in my reach

My place now, better take your leave

Passed MC’s now all i hear is (beep)


Anything is killable, when i use any syllable

Slaughter any beat that is visible, take a toll to

Push me over, that isn’t forgivable, forgettable

Forget a hoe, high off fentanyl (nah)

I, yeah, I, I'm- I’m not a criminal



Fuck this gay shit, imma bout to get biblical 

Hit em with a bible, evil traits goes hella low

Never reached heaven so i'm not at my pinnacle

Just like the tribulations this beat ain’t skippable


Had the free flow, but you never believed it (like jesus)

All alone, never noticed my achievements (just leave it)

Had to throw in a hype beat just for you see it (Leave me)

I had to leave you cause i needed it (nah)



Pushover

Very simple song about apologizing to different people for various reasons.



I’m sorry that I hurt you again
 I really didn’t mean it, this time (I didn’t)
Making you cry wasn’t my intent
So this mistake, is all mine (My mistake)

I’m sorry that I took offense
I really hate it, when you lie (why did you)
Saying goodbye was my revenge 
So this blame, is all mine (My blame)

I’m sorry that I played pretend
I didn’t tell you what was on my mind (I’m sorry)
I was “fine” until I lost all my friends
So this pain, is all mine (My pain)

I’m sorry that I left, my friends
I could never make, enough time (Don’t go)
Leaving you behind was my defense
So this weight, is all mine (My weight)

I’m sorry that I distanced myself 
This is the only way I couldn’t lose more (my loss)
I reached for help but my health 
made me lose even more, than before (Before)
(oh)
I’m sorry that I witnessed death
I lost joy, and felt nothing anymore (she’s gone)
After her last breath, I harmed myself
And I can't afford losing, what I adore (Adore)
(oh)
I'm sorry that I chose my way
I had doubts, so I followed my clouds (Darkness) 
Dripping my rain, hoping I could change
So I sit and pray and ask god why (why)

Are you over me?
Cause I can’t tell
I’m not over you
But I can't tell you



My Apology Letter

Thinking about you
(Don’t know where I’ll be in a year)
(Know who I’ll be in a year)
(I'm afraid of change)
Change
(People won’t stay the same)
(And nobody knows)
Nobody knows
(where we’ll go)
But aye, listen


Baby I can't promise the road won't be rough, nothing new
But I can promise you that I will keep my own self, true
Cause I'm different and I care about your issues 
People say the same but I'll fill your last lovers, shoes
Since they couldn't handle anything about you
They kept secrets, lied, and in the end, you were used
I shown you all my love and kept nothing else from you
I know we will fight, and keep our distance but I, love you

(Don’t know where I’ll be in a year)
In a year
(Know who I’ll be in a year)
Yeah, no
(I'm afraid of change)
Change
(People won’t stay the same)
No, they won't
(And nobody knows)
Nobody knows
(where we’ll go)
Aye look

(I'm afraid of change)
Change
(People won’t stay the same)
No, yeah
(And nobody knows)
Nobody knows
(where we’ll go)
But aye, listen



I could be complicated sometimes, but no matter
Building our love and a family, is what I'm after
Way too broken, I was hopeless, when you finally found me
We lost people, and was hurt by everyone around "me" 
Our stories isn't pretty and it's darker than it seems
But that's what brought us so closer, so innocently 
Maybe God put me through loss, just to learn how to love
Your heart is safe until it's time to go up, above

(Don’t know where I’ll be in a year)
In a year
(Know who I’ll be in a year)
Yeah, aye, listen, aye 
(I'm afraid of change)
Change
(People won’t stay the same)
No they won't, aye
(And nobody knows)
(where we’ll go)



I'm different baby

A song to your significant other who is an over thinker as well as you. 

(chorus)
Feeling used but I’m, still missing you, and I can’t
See the end of this, just want to feel your kiss against my lips
And now all this time, is passing by
But I still can’t seem to tell you why
It hurts me everytime I see you
Realized how much I need you


I need you but I don’t wanna tell you what's been hurting
Cause sadly if I do I feel like I’m the weaker person
It isn’t you, I’m just searching for what I need
But while I do that I don’t want you to leave, cause 

I’ll be forced to take a couple steps back
Your the only person who can keep me intact
Your the only person who can keep me in line
Giving me hope in my most hopeless times

Doubting our love and who we are isn’t the issue
All my lovers used to tell me that they commit to 
staying but they leave and I had to restart
So many used me and torn my riches apart, but I

Recognize without pain, I don’t deserve you
I wouldn’t be the same, instead, I would have hurt you
We both gained knowledge from suffering loss
This shown us to love each other no matter the cost, and I 

Hope that every day I can show you, me
So me and you can be the best version that we could be
But if you ever overthink, I won't leave
No matter what this life brings, I will always love you, Lexie

(Background)
And all this time, is passing by
But I still can’t seem to tell you why
It hurts me everytime I see you
Realized how much I need you

(chorus)
Feeling used but I’m, still missing you, and I can’t
See the end of this, just want to feel your kiss against my lips
And now all this time, is passing by, but I still can’t seem to tell you why
It hurts me everytime I see you, Realized how much I need you

I know you need someone cause you been through a lot
Without yourself it seems like I’m all you’ve got 
I know all of this but I won't take you for granted
I know what it's like to be in a cage trapped in

Side of the brain where depression can take over
Somewhere in the rain in the middle of nowhere
Covering you in clouds, so no one can find you
Refusing to take my hand even if you’d, like to

I get that feeling, I really get it a lot
But don’t you ever be someone your actually not
I love the way you are and its beautifully perfect
If you think you’re nothing, I think that your worth it

I believe now you are the reason I stop searching
I believe now you are the reason I start working
Towards the love I want to give you for the rest of your life
No matter what Im yours, and you are mine

How much I need you

A song about your rough relationship with your mother, I never experienced this myself but I know others have. 

Falling, falling, I was so young
Calling, I’m calling, I’m calling for help
Falling, falling, I was so young
Calling, I’m calling, I’m calling for help

Dear mama, I wish you were there to fucking help
Wish you were there to help me with my mental health
It hurt me when you walked away and left me by myself
It’s sad that my depression is the only one who knew how I felt

Bad days, bad bad days
Put me on the rope, and see how I fall to my fate
Sad days, sad sad days
Couldn’t hold onto hope, and now it's too late

Dear mama, why can’t you see the abuse that you put me through
Fear and trauma is what you introduced me and my sisters to
Tears were falling when you hit me, while high off the booze
And you would always ask me why I would stay in my room

I hate it when you don’t love us when we were never troubling
But you loved it when we catch you, where you were trembling
Stumbling, mumbling, “I'm drunk” and when we carried you in 
And by the next day the cycle would start over again
(WUH)

Falling, falling, I was so young
Calling, I’m calling, I’m calling for help
Falling, falling, I was so young
Calling, I’m calling, I’m calling for help

Dear mama, I wish you were there to fucking help
Wish you were there to help me with my mental health
It hurt me when you walked away and left me by myself
It’s sad that my depression is the only one who knew how I felt

Why didn’t you tell me that you needed my help
I could have been there to save you from yourself
I know that I’m twelve and I know that I’m young
But that doesn't mean I never knew how to love

Mama, know that I love you, but know that I’m the victim 
Mama, no matter what you do, know that I’m always with ya
But mom you gotta help me through, especially with my sisters
We’ll be there for you if you’d just let us in the picture 

These are the words I would have said if you were still with us
I’m sorry if it was us who made you this way, please forgive us
I hope you’re happier in heaven and that you'll never forget us
Even though you’re gone, we know that your soul is still with us
(WUH)

Falling, falling, I was so young
Calling, I’m calling, I’m calling for help
Falling, falling, I was so young
Calling, I’m calling, I’m calling for help

Calling for help

A song about a person who thinks they are insignificant to others and feel like their voice means nothing or can be for mute individuals who lost their voice. 

Song found on YouTube
Produced by Feloney Kid


I know it hurts, it’s hard, to breathe sometimes
These nights are long, you’ve lost the will to fight
Is anybody out there, can you lead me to the light
Is anybody out there, tell me it’ll all be alright

I’ve had a rough couple years sitting in the darkness
Shedding a couple tears cause people are heartless (why)
Unable to speak, I wish I wasn’t like this (No)
Don’t have a voice so I need someone to provide it 

I can’t even remember when I had a voice
I had it once in my life but I had no choice (Carry me)
Something tragic happened and all was destroyed
Now I’m looking for something to fill the void (Anybody)

People look at me like I’ve lost my value 
I want you to love me, but i can't even tell you (I need you)
You said you wouldn’t leave, but I didn’t want to drag you
So I ended up leaving, cause I knew I had to (Wuh)

Reflecting on my story now I want to help others
To help people like me, no longer suffer
To get them back up and help them recover
I’m here for anybody, but I still wonder…

Is anybody out there, can you lead me to the light?
Is anybody out there, tell me it’ll all be alright
(Wuh)

I know you can’t remember how to shine
Your hearts a bird without the wings to fly
Is anybody out there, can you take this weight of mine?
Is anybody out there, can you lead me to the light?

For anyone who lost hope in God, people, or even yourself 
Just know someone is there for you every step of the way
But if no one is out there to carry you, I will
I will be the only person here for you forever 
No matter the struggle or the pain
I know how it feels to be alone, suffering, and scared
But your not alone



I will carry you, Is anybody out there?
I will carry you, I will carry you
Is anybody out there?

I know it hurts, it's hard to breathe sometimes…

Carry You (Prod. Feloney kid)

Just a guy who takes free beats and makes a rap song out of them, slowly improving as I move on. Hit me up on YouTube 
https://youtube.com/@FA11SPECTRE

Tell me what your thinking

FA11SPECTRE

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