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he said it, i'm too damaged

w/ @scapexgoat


i'm trying my best 
i swear i am 
tryna show you i need you 
i wanna hold your hand 
i've been hurt so fucking badly i forget who i am 
this was never part of the plan 
so can you promise you won't run from me 
cause i'm so scared i'm fucking shaking
it gets hard to breathe
n i'm not used to someone wanting me 
god, it feels so fucking comforting

so pour me a drink
and i'll sing you to sleep 
n he said it
i'm too damaged 
bleed through the bandages
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him
n just to go sleep
have to be off fucking sedatives
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him

[scapegoat] 
i was in the backseat 
looking at my phone
why you never text me
i feel so alone
i just wanted you to stay 
tell me when the fuck you're coming back
i know i'm so bad
hate to see you like that
tell me why the fuck it hurts so bad
i wish i could save you but i know i can't
how the fuck can i help you,
i can't help myself

bleed through the bandages (w/ scapegoat)

guitar @pekarot

she lacking empathy she gone tomorrow
see what is left of me, me and my sorrows
think you might be dead to me, you left me a bottle
and a blue pill that i don't wanna swallow
body's got a fleeting feeling and i got all my sorrows
how do i stop this feeling of feeling real hollow
know you love me but you tell me that I'm acting hostile
i might crash this car cos I'm going full throttle
stop drinking your life away your grasping at a bottle
i think i might hide away and talk to you tomorrow 
i know its not healthy but I'm full of sorrows
i bet you wouldn't help me if i left tomorrow

paint me a picture that's hard not to swallow
when your with him i feel like being hostile
i like the idea of moving to a castle
lets build some high walls, fuck I'm an asshole
your growing in mold, the more that u hassle
do what your told, before that i let go

she lacking empathy she gone tommorow
see what is left of me, me and my sorrows
think you might be dead to me, you left me a bottle
and a blue pill that i don't wanna swallow
body's got a fleeting feeling and i got all my sorrows
how do i stop this feeling of feeling real hollow
know you love me but you tell me that i'm acting hostile
i might crash this car cos i'm going full throttle

tomorrow

fast life

fast life (feat. guccihighwaters)

<//3

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater
lyrics:

i don't think that i feel it
my stomach can't heal it
my heart i warn you
surround me i turn blue
you doubt me you flew
you drowning in sloot
my heart break in 2
im ready to die
cos i left ur side
i kick back and cry
this where i resite
i laugh at myself
its good for my health (oh no)
whats that on my the shelf (oh no)
i think its yourself (oh no)

ash blonde hair i need you now
carve my life thru the fields im a tree in the ground
i can't feel my fucking heart so why does it go pound pound pound
i sense you wanna dart, so why
 dont u wannaa stay, now

i can sense the fear ik our loves linear now
feeling like a tree thats never gonna grow; help
beat me black and blue with all the words you spew pal
you could save him now but i don't think he wants you now

heylog:

your pretty little words are meshed and i don't feel them
i'm to the point where i just lost every feeling
i still wouldn't feel a thing if i had a million friends
i'm getting closer everyday to ending it
the sun falls and creeps through my window
it's blinding me, now orange is painted on my walls
the same colour i saw when i fell in love
when i see it again i just can't get enough
can someone end my life, i don't wanna be here at all..
i'm past the part where i care at all
that's when i know shits getting bad
and i wonder how long this'll last

tree w/heylog

produced by caves : )

were u being sincere when you calling me
everynight for a few months you were onto me
its getting too much when you leave
why'd you make it so hard just to breathe
i blame it on you but i think it was me
i knew you would go but i thought we would speak
just stay get rid of my fears
the last thing id say is that i love you dear
your head on my bed im holding you near

im nervous another year you look over
you're perfect i need to let go of her
but i cant but i cant wish i could but i cant
but i cant cos i loved her

id kiss on your neck but it brings it my tears
stay right here get rid of my fears
i cant even say your name
no way your happy being mine
touch my neck im getting shivers down my spine
not getting better but i tell everyone im fine
i think that you would be happy when i die
i want it end it all when i see him lie
i wanna hurt him bad if you cry
all i ever had was the sky
now its all bad when you fly
im really not glad your my ally

im nervous another year you look over
you're perfect i need to let go of her
but i cant but i cant wish i could but i cant
but i cant cos i loved her

now your just a name on my phone

nervous

@cybertrash
play pretend - prod. cybertrash
mastered by YAKI
REDEYE (demo) - prod. DvDx, Juberlee, Glyph, cybertrash, YAKI
mastered by YAKI

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/cybertrash/play-pretend

play pretend

w @xona

produced by sleepwater speedlmt leftquiet and xona

lyrics

i needed some revenge
but i dont wanna vent
can you hear me now
its hurting my head
stop shutting me down
you were half of me wow
but now your not here
i need a way out
u were liquid to me
maybe mixed w some sea
but now she is flying
i wanna retreat
guard my heart
while u stand
from the mill
its feeling far
when u tell me its real
how could i move on when
i dont even want to
ill let this go on
cos i dont know how to
miss you
another song where
i vent bout my issues
waitings long come rip
out my tissues
im so selfish
everyones got traumas
im not speaking can u let me follow her
do i need therapy or pills in my fucking head
my life expectancy
cheers for all this fucking stress

im escaping every night my fucking hed
pls dont aim in
counting on my fucking hed
collecting all my fucking debt
pounding hard right out my chest
guess im sleeping thats a flex
lets skip eating and have sex
what are you eating guess thats bread
what are you doing no no
who are you with now
its how it spread
would u even like me
cant u tell that im trying
oh pls just like me
i swear that im crying

xona
i thought i need to go and let loose of me
but I’m stuck inside where the sun don’t seep
so i just watch along as the days runs deep
and i got my tea in hand so I’m calm for the least
and i don’t know, who i could be
i feel alone, when there’s others around me
i can’t cope, you know it better than me
to let it go but I’m the worst you could be
to go back home
where I could find a home cause I feel alone
falling, dying right here for you

oh i dont wanna talk
im ruined

ruined w/xona

produced by heylog 

lyrics:
I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY
notice how it falls in deeper
deeper
oh, it goes deeper
know that i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer
EVERYTHING'S ABOUT YOU AND THE REST
BUT I GOT TO GO WITHOUT YOU CAUSE IT'S BEST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL CROSS PATHS SOMEWHERE ELSE
I HATE THAT THESE THOUGHTS ARE WHERE I DWELL

notice how i fall in deeper
deeper
oh, i go deeper
baby, i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer

𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵
𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘪 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭

i don't say enough prayer
or kneel beside the bed
i ask on some nights
to see you again
i didn't find anything
or see any signs
unless they were right in front of me this whole time
i hate that all of my friends
live so far away
it's very lonely
and it's so cliche
i like thinking of you
i do it a lot
why give attention to something that's forever gone?

I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY

spotify

healer

(I'll never let you—)

Okay
No one's in the right again
And I don't got those feelings, and you're more a friend
I'm lying 'cause you're moving on quicker, ooh-ah, ooh-ah
You know I get bitter, ooh-ah, ooh-ah
I don't care, give me a second
If I call, is it worth the wait?
I wanna know what you're doing

You really won't hold my hand
You think I won't go, I can
You never felt nothing at all
Might'a felt something, ooh-ah
You got me thinkin' it's alright
If I can get you something, you'll call, right?
But I—
In truth you never felt nothing at all
Never felt nothing

I know my love, it hurts, I push too much
It feels cold, it feels different
I can't help but something's missing
It's not enough, I won't give up, baby
(I'll never let you go!)
You want bad, I'm leaving, whatever
If you die, I'm leaving with you
It's not enough, you're making me crazy (Get down)
And I know I am

It's not enough, I won't give up, baby
And all I am

You really won't hold my hand
You think I won't go, I can
You never felt nothing at all
Might'a felt something, ooh-ah
You got me thinkin' it's alright
If I can get you something, you'll call, right?
But I—
In truth never felt nothing at all
Never felt nothing

bitter - Internet girl, Payday

not2sober

alone tonight

intentions

digital crush (feat. Ouse x Ryan Librada) Prod. SMLE

i love him more than i love myself 

prod: michael harrison
master: @onlyfriendyeah

do i deserve to be this broken?
i must've done something wrong 
and when i speak i feel like choking 
it must've been all my fault
i love him more 
than i love myself 
i'll endure what he gives me 
nothing can change my mind,
nothing i won't sacrifice 

you've got such a violent taste now 
is that what it takes to turn you on?
he want me to pour my veins out 
is that what it takes to be your crush?
i'll keep a compliant face now 
you know i would hate to make you stop 
i'll be so silent, stay down 
if that's what it takes to be what you want 
(be what you want)

violent taste

cover of the song 'arctic eyes' by 9TAILS
produced by nciku

arctic eyes cover (9TAILS & nciku)

orbit

throwaway

I’ve turned through every page in the book
still don’t know if I shouldn’t or I should
cuz you taste so bittersweet 
it’s like it shouldn’t have been me
but I can’t lie to you, it feels so good

feel like I should’ve known better
is this everything I wanted?
cuz I got it but I wish that i could-

take a u-turn, let it crumble
watch it burn down into rubble 
hoping that you go and find another one of me 

bitch I wish you would
but you prolly could
(oh why?)

wish u would

guess what you said rings true;
i know you better than i know myself
remember you told me you loved me
and cared; i'm not someone to help
but tell me am i wrong for wanting way more
and it's obvious no
that this was just the end but
darling what stings the most is i don't know how you felt

but baby you're not your mistakes
was i the one who led you this far in the first place
first place
i let you go i know
things just won't change
but i understand
i'm not the same saint that i was
you could rest easy knowing i wont ever change
i wont

i fear i played my part way too well
if you stayed would it change, i can't tell
i've been chasing dotted lines i guess
all the precious time i spent
you're not a ghost
baby i want you around
to tell me i had some more time
to tell me how you felt
i wasted time and paid the price
i'm out of sight
i'm out of mind
i'm out of sight
i'm out of mind
i paid the price
and i won't let go

guess what you said rings true;
i know you better than i know myself
remember you told me you loved me
and cared; i'm not someone to help
but tell me am i wrong for wanting way more
and it's obvious no
that this was just the end but
darling what stings the most is i don't know how you felt

BLUE

written: me
mixed: me 
produced: @nerc_era

im dropping again, sooner than you may expect hehehehe

all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/maxruben/need-me-more

Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEP-fqhBkQw

Lyrics:

Now you're so far gone,
yeah you're so far gone
i cant see
if i take too long,
if i take too long 
would you leave

i just don't understand it 
i wasn't tryna change you
you got me second guessing 
i wrote those songs about you
i had to change direction
my mom still asks about you

( my mom still asks about you )

Time flies by, i know you hate that
Blind eyes cry, i can't erase that
tell me if you need me more
i'll embrace that
tell me if you need me more
i'll embrace that


yeah
its all on you my love
tell me what you want
like theres no pressure on ya

need me more (nerc)

fools day. warm up
all plats now

produced by narxi 

lyrics:

the devils in my room tonight
hoping that I take the bite
pray my wrongs could all be right
that all my work would just suffice
extinguish hope and all the lights
the tables set for you and I 
I care bout your joy more than mine
if I walk out, am I justified?  

tell me when it all blows over
this rooms filled with paranoia
I admit I shoulda told ya
that I’m not ur strongest solider

and I never been, I know
I’m just frail flesh and bone
I hate the way you’ve changed ur tone

the devils in the room tonight 
the devils in the room tonight

you’re getting the best of me
I’ll take all the time I need
go and keep yourself alive for me
live your life then die for me

the devils in my room tonight
hoping that I take the bite
pray my wrongs could all be right
that all my work would just suffice
extinguish hope and all the lights
the tables set for you and I 
I care bout your joy more than mine
if I walk out, am I justified?  

am I justified?
cuz the devils in the room tonight
hoping that I take the bite
oh
cuz the devils in the room tonight
the tables set for you and I

suffice

guitar by saints tomorrow :D
prod me
sorry love u :/
thank u all for da support mwah
love love love
<3
lyrics:
couple big songs
but the same old me
n
talking to my friends 
drains all my energy
n
ik of this place
thats filled with memories
n
im so toxic 
way to often
its my tendency

n i been fucking over 
all my friends in the process
n im not being rude
im exploring my options
n i dont sleep right
cause it fuck with my conscious
4 leave clover
but i fucked up n lost it :/

n i been fucking over 
all my friends in the process
n im not being rude
im exploring my options
n i dont sleep right
cause it fuck with my conscious
4 leave clover
but i fucked up n lost it :/

i been bored 
i been chillin at da skate park
n i even if tried im pretty sure i couldn't skate far
they say that lifes a movie 
i dont think that im the main part
1 day ima skip town get away inside a freight car

n i could sing 100 songs
n i could think 100 thoughts
n i could right 100 wrongs
but my lifes fucked 
so it wont be long :(

n if im being honest 
i just needed a friend
n i been tryin so hard
to get this weight off my chest
n i been tryna write songs
catch a breath 
i only like my hooks so here we go (again)

hook

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jcat489