A bit overdue, but all good things are worth waiting for. Here's my John Prine tribute. 

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This is a cover. All songwriting credit goes to John Prine.
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Keyboards, Vocals, Engineering (The Good, the Bad, and the Oogly Boogly):
Ian Cowperthwaite, ElectricLizardland Studios
2020

Hello in there (John Prine tribute RIP)

A demented twist on that jingle we all know (and love so dearly)

I always found the Karz4Kidz jingle disturbing, not for the reason everyone else does. It sounds like some sort of black market slave trade involving kids and cars. Are the cars for the kids? How do they reach the pedals. The whole thing is asinine. Poorly imagined. Fire everybody.

Don't worry. This one isn't any less of an earworm.

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Songwriting, Lyrics, Keyboards, Vocals, Engineering (the good, the bad, and the oogly boogly):
Ian Cowperthwaite, ElectricLizardland Studios
2020
Again, I'm sorry, Mom.

Kidz4Karz

Shel Silverstein cover. Happy 4/20 everyone. Be safe, don't be stupid, and for fuck's sake, stay the fuck indoors.  Abide, my dudes.

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This is a Shel Silverstein cover.  All songwriting credit goes to The Great One.
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Keyboards, Vocals, Engineering (The Good, the Bad, and the Oogly Boogly):
Ian Cowperthwaite, ElectricLizardLand Studios
2020
I'm sorry, Mom.

I Got Stoned And I Missed It

This is a Townes Van Zandt cover.  All songwriting credit goes to him.

keyboards, vocals, engineering (the good, the bad, and the oogly boogly):
Ian Cowperthwaite, ElectricLizardLand Studios
2020
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I don't feel the need to apologize to Mom for this one.  You're welcome, Mom.

Pancho and Lefty

Any similarity to any person or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.  None of this is from personal experience. I fucking swear. 

....
Why are you still reading?  I said I swear.

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Lyrics, Keyboards, Vocals, Engineering (the good, the bad and the eargly) : Electric Lizardland Studios, Ian Cowperthwaite

I'm sorry, Mom.

Snitchee Bitcheez

Parody of the classic song Downtown.
I AM THE TRUE KING OF BUTTHOLE SONGS!
I'm so sorry, Mom.

Lyrics in their full immature heathenly debaucherous indescribable ooeygooeyanallygoodness.

When
Your
Butthole is lonely and my
Boner is boney, you can always go...
BROWN TOWN

When you've grown wurry
'f all the toys and the furries,
we can always go...
Brown town.

Just listen to the music as I'm grabbing on your titty.
Finger in your butt to test if I'll come out all shitty.
How can you know?
The walls are much tighter there,
You can forget all your troubles, Ignore all the squares.
We're goin' 
Brown Town, You're going my way
Brown Town, Your Hershey highway,
Brown Town, Everything's smelling like poo...

Get on the ground and let Uranus surround
me we can spend all day...
Brown Town
When you're done your rinsing, If you need convincing, 
Can't get knocked up this way...
Brown Town


Somehow I lose my grip I let it slip outside the valley, 
Up your chute of poop I shoot my troops into your alley,
Swim, my young load.
Tiny, tadpoles, swim in vain,
You can forget getting pregnant, take pleasure from pain,
We're goin'
Down Town
It's my philosophy
Brown Town
It beats Monopoly
Brown Town
It's Not accidental this time
The walls are much tighter there
You can forget all your troubles, ignore all the squares
Brown Town, you're going my way
Brown Town, your Hershey Highway
Brown Town, things'll be different this time (you'll see)

Brownton Abbey

----------Background--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I keep hearing PSAs on the radio that start out like a boxing match "Over in the left corner, in the steel trunks, weighing in at 5000 tons and traveling at 80mph, we  have Thomas!!!  In the right corner, in the stained tighty whiteys and the I'm with Stupid t-shirt, weighing in at 200 pounds, it's Dave!
(Spectator gasps in horror) It looks like Tommy's not going to stop!  Oh, the humanity! Ding ding ding ding ding ding BEEEBEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

"Stop.  Because the train can't."

Am I supposed to feel sorry for Dave when the inevitable happens?

The damn thing moves in a straight line. It's loud and you can feel it coming before you can see it.  It generally doesn't move that fast.  If you step off the track, it won't chase you.  I'm not going to reserve my limited sympathy for some idiot when a tragedy could have been averted by stepping 2 feet to the left.
If you got hit by a train, you're a moron, and you probably sucked at life anyway.
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Lyrics:
5000 tons of steel,
Slithering like an eel
Round a narrow impasse
Well if you just stay put,
And you don't move a foot,
That eel will burrow its way right up your ass.

Makes a helluva racket,
With a rock you can smack it,
And it's goin' in a big ol' straight line.
Doesn't move too fast,
If it behooves you to pass, 
You should be able to cross and be fine.

It's loud and proud,
Belches thick clouds,
From a big old fat smokestack
Gates closing ahead,
Lights flashing yellow and red
WHY DON'T YOU GET THE FUCK OFF OF THE TRACK?!!!


Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga
CHOOOO CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Readin' bout cops killing unarmed civilians
Really wracks my brain.
Politicians and their owners
Profit from prolonging boners
Is there anything left of shame?
Trillionaires and billionaires
with silly hair and market shares
I can feel everyone's pain...
But if all you had to do was to move out of the way, then,
Who else do you have to fuckin' blame?

I can shed a tear for  the hundred people dyin
cause a part broke off of their plane,
But I don't give a monkey's coochie bout a suicidal dookie
Who been strucketh by the fuckin' choo choo train.

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Songwriting, Lyrics, Wurly, Vocals, Engineering:
Ian Cowperthwaite, ElectricLizardland Studios
2020

Late for Sea World

Here's a parody of Deep in the Heart of Texas that no one asked for. It's a joke been running around my head for years, and I've finally committed it to a song. 
So, without further bullshit, 1) you're welcome, and 2) I'm sorry.

It's called...
 Eatin' a Hearty Breakfast.

Enjoy. I hope you brought some Tums.
Also featuring the worst Joe Pesci impression in the history of the last 10 minutes.
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Lyrics for the lyric deaf like myself
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An orange slice, Will do just nice.
Sweeten a hearty breakfast. 
This tart's all right.  I'll fart all night.
(but that's the) Price of a hearty breakfast.

Some flakes of bran, Prunes from a can
A regulating breakfast.
Gravy so creamy, Biscuits so dreamy.
A heart attacky breakfast.

Tall glass of milk, Goes down like silk.
Wash down my hearty breakfast
Grits and oatmeal, Served in a pai-eeeal
Grain's in a hearty breakfast.

Now don't you roam, Just eat at home,
Cheapen a hearty breakfast
Drowning Froot Loops In orange juice
Part of a balanced breakfast

Some toast of rye, Eggs and home fries,
Eatin' a hearty breakfast.
A cherry pie, Oh God I'm high,
Deep in a hearty breakfast.

Scrapple deep fried, Can make me cry.
Into my hearty breakfast
But liver mush, That I won't touch,
Not in my hearty breakfast.

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Lyrics, Keyboards, Vocals, the clapper, Engineering (the good, the bad and the eargly) : Electric Lizardland Studios, Ian Cowperthwaite
2020

This is a parody of Deep in the Heart of Texas by Don Swander.  All due credit goes where it is needed.

Again, I'm sorry, Mom.

Eatin' A Hearty Breakfast

This phrase totally didn't become the mantra of a mushroom trip that someone who isn't me totally never took.

Mother Goops

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