"get you off my mind" written 2017, produced in July 2021.
Keep in mind I wrote the lyrics when i was 15, i don´t take responsibility for the grammar ;)


Lyrics:

I will never forget you,
I´ll never get you off my mind,
you`ll always stay there, you´ll always be there,
I´ll always carry you around with pride.

When I first met ya,
I knew you will always be a part of my heart.
U were my bestfriend through all times of struggling.

They will start missing you when they fail to replace you.
Feelings can be controlled but tears never lie.
Happiness will come when you let go of all the things that´s holding you back.
But I still find pieces of you in every song I listen to.

get you off my mind

A short song named "stockholm syndrom" , July 2021.

Lyrics:

I will always love you.
Let´s hope it´s not the Stockholm Syndrom talking.
There was so much you put me trough.
And I´m so done with acting,
like we could have worked.
Like we could have stayed
with the ways
it was in the end.

And now we´re strangers (strangers)
but this time
with memories
no It´s fine (It´s fine)
I´m fine (I´m not)
Thanks for asking.
Thanks for caring.

Well this is the end
I´ll see you in the sky
when the moon is at it´s fullest
and the stars don´t shine anymore,
because you were all the stars in the sky.
You were all the stars in the sky.

stockholm syndrom

I lost my best friend on the 27th of october 2021 at 14:18 o clock.
My beloved 12 year old rabbit watched me grow up while i watched him grow old.
To reminisce our time i wrote, sang and produced this piece "14:18" 
featuring a voice message of my mom she sent me a day prior to his euthanasia. Unfortunately i was in Rome at the time and couldn´t be there.

"14:18" by me written Oct 2021; Recorded & Produced Nov-Dez 2021
Hope you enjoy <3



lyrics:

*R1:*
Hey darling,
I know It’s been a while
since I´ve felt your touch, 
seen' your smile

How is heaven up there?
I really miss you,
wish you were here

But I know 
It was for the best.
I know it was time to let go of u.
I know that it was right,
but that doesn’t mean 
I won’t cry 

*1:*
This isn’t a goodbye, it’s a see you later.
I won’t accept for you to leave me here alone.
I miss you, I need to feel your weight on
my chest again like when we were cuddling in my room.

Why did it had to be when I was gone
They say it’s easier but It just feels so wrong.
You were always by my side.
You helped me cry through so many nights.


*Voice memo:*
"Kurzes Update zu Hoppel, ich bin überhaupt nicht sicher, ob wir das 
überhaupt noch machen sollen.
Er frisst sehr sehr wenig und er schläft halt nur noch und der ist überhaupt nicht mehr fit.
Ich weiß nicht ob das einfach nicht doch so schlimm das ist - ich kann mich selbst ja eben überhaupt nicht durchringen dazu -  das ist ja das Problem.
Wahrscheinlich wäre es einfach besser, wenn man ihn die Woche einschläfert."

*R2:*
Hey darling,
It’s gonna be a while
until I will feel your touch again and
see your smile.

I’ll meet you up there, I swear!
Look out for Grandpa,
He’s already there.


But I know 
It was for the best.
I know it was time to let go of u.
I know that it was right.
But that doesn’t mean 
I won’t cry 
I will cry
(hey darling, hey darling)
I will cry for you

14:18

finally it´s done!
This piece took me almost 3 months to write, record and produce.
Was a hell of a struggle to make, but here we are! 
(started at the beginning of Dec 2021 - finished in the mid of Feb 2022)

(lyrics below)

This song is about dark thoughts concerning mental health problems and the struggle to find motivation in this difficult time of Corona. While we live with very little options on what to do but are being forced by time to get our lives together and under control... being a freshly minted adult who has to act responsible, but wasted 2 and a half of my best years living in a literal prison while i should be able to enjoy my last teen-years.
Also emotional - unavailibilty and the lack of real feelings.
So a thoroughly positive song :D

Enjoy the 5:45 minutes of complete chaos in the song structure reflecting my train of thoughts and mental health (lol)
Not your average Pop - Song :D





Lyrics:

*1:*
Sometimes I think I don’t deserve happiness
It just wasn’t made for me
I‘m always the odd man out
I never get lucky
So why would anybody care for me

I stop my crying within a split second
I watch horror movies alone for fun 
And you still think you can hurt me?
I’m emotionally unavailable
So babe ur wrong

But sometimes I let people get a little close to me
In hope there will be someone who sees my worth
But no I constantly just give and give
Get nothing back, am I really that lost?


*R:*
I’m not good enough 
I’m not capable of love
It sucks that I have to keep myself busy to feel okay
If I die tonight at least I look pretty
I just really don’t plan on being here that long


*2:*
I don’t want it to end
I just want the pain to stop
So I close my eyes
And I close my book

I finally understand that
I don’t feel love
I feel obsession
I fall in love with your attention

And I’m self destructive 
When I’m going through 
a hard time
And I only feel safe in the 3am light
But I keep on telling me
Right now is not forever


*3:*
It’s 3:55
And I’m sitting on my bed
Thinking bout‘ every little thing
You once said

They call it overthinking 
I call it analyzing
Going through every second
Of every night we‘ve spent

Thinking bout‘ what could have changed the presence
What words or actions
Calls or messages
Could have saved us
But lent 
To the end

*Bridge:*
Now it’s 5:38
And I’m still awake
With my mind and body
Aching for another soul

To feel the warmth of their body
Their love their touch 
Why do I always put myself in this miserable role?

Do I like the hurting?
So I want myself to suffer?
If not, why does my mind
Think all those thoughts
That make life even tougher?

All I want is to be free 
And not to be a slave 
Of those pessimistic impulses
That give unrealistic versions 
Of what could be

I usually don’t pray
But I’m out here even trying to live trough one single day

I don’t know where I wanna be in 5 years
Cause all I want is to not be waking up in tears
Cause all I want is to not be waking up in fear
Cause all I want is to not overthink every damn thing
I just wanna feel something!


*R: (3x)*
I’m not good enough 
I’m not capable of love
It sucks that I have to keep myself busy to feel okay
If I die tonight at least I look pretty
I just really don’t plan on being here that long


*End:*
I just wanna look into the mirror 
And really mean the words
The words that are so sappy 
Like "you will reach your dreams,
You can do anything you want,
I really love you,
And FINALLY you’re happy"

hollow

fade

´one last time´, written, sang and produced by me, July 2022

lyrics:

(1)
Can you remember the times?
When we wrote ´till late at night?
Searching for
confirmation
but all we got was
Just another fight

(Pre Chorus)
Why is everything so hard?
Why cant we just talk again?
Why is everything so hard?
Why cant we just start again?

(R)
For one last time
One last time
One last time
One last time

2)
Do you remember the times?
When we talked on discord until half past 5?
Do you ever think about me
Like when i made bad jokes until you smiled

(Pre chorus)
Oh when everything was nice
But no, you had to go and fuck it up
I wanna go back to those times
When i really thought i’ve played a role

(R)
In your life
In your life
For one last time
I’m speaking out loud
your lies

(Bridge)
I still remember the way i smiled
On my way back home,
After we met for the first time

I’m so desperate for your love
Your attention, I just wanna see you
I just wanna call you mine

(R)
For one last time
One last time
One last time
One last time

(Pre chorus)
Why is everything so hard
Just come back into my life
Why is everything so hard
I just wanna look into your cute brown eyes

(R)
For one last time
One last time
One last time
One last time

enjoy :*

one last time

82° F - written, sung and produced by me (JeyCeeKay), Nov 2022

lyrics:
1.
82 degrees
You’re lookin lavish
You’re all I wanna be
Do you know I exist?

Obsession‘s taking over
I’m getting mad
Where’s my sanity?

He doesn’t tell me
But I know he cares
I might be in his bed
But you’re still in his head

Yeah he’s your toy
And you can do whatever you want to
you´re probably laughing at me now


R:
I wish I could erase you
But I can’t stop
Overthinking while stalking
I‘m back at bedrock

I‘m here looking at your page
And the photos of you
I’m just pushing my body dismorphia
But I always find something new


2.
You text him something
And he comes running
It shouldn’t be like that
When you have history

You probably just love it
How he puts you first
While everyone else tells me
I should be concerned

They tell me I’m too nice
While they don’t know
I see every new like
and the pics you post

I even see his likes
I should’t know off
Oh it’s so nice
Being toxic (2x)
I can be toxic too (being toxic)


R:
I wish I could erase you
But I can’t stop
Overthinking while stalking
I‘m back at bedrock

I‘m here looking at your page
And the photos of you
I’m just pushing my body dismorphia
But I always find something new


3:
I don’t wish you well
See you in hell
I couldn’t care less
About anything

I just want you gone
Let him move on
Honey I know it hurts
To see your upgrade

I‘m fine with never
Seeing you face to face
Cause I couldn’t guarantee
That It would end well

So let’s just break paths
Goodbye hun
Have a good life
Good luck, have fun <3

82° F

Hello :)
I´m a 21 year old passionate singer and pianist since I´m 4 years old.
Please let me know, if you enjoy my Music :D

Jeyceekay

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