lyrics:

slow down, we pass a street and i’m reminded that this is my hometown
same old faces that i’ve seen, i feel so small now
i wonder if you’d be proud if you could see and feel
what i do before i sleep?

but if i had a time machine
i’d write you a letter
sayin’ things aren’t better
there are some things you can’t remember
it gets worse every september
you give in to your fuckin’ temper
been 8 years, was a great pretender
that it didn’t hurt when they defended him

i wish i was over it 
but my skin feels like a cage
and i’ve bleached it fuckin’ raw but
what do i do with all these stains?

how do i miss what i wasn’t handed?
tell me where hasn’t he touched?
why do i still lay awake at night begging him to fuckin’ stop

touch and leave me there
cause you’ll see how i flinch away from you if you take a moment to really stare

from the inside i lied i said i was doin fine 
and i believed it, you did, it worked for a good while
until it didn’t, the stitches opened, the rug lifted
who was i kidding? i was a kid then, but i still wanted to be forgiven

if i had a time machine
i’d shake you awake
i’d tell you to hurry up and feel what we have to feel today
everyone’s gone and moved on, but i still hear him sayin my name
it’s hard to get up and be strong when i feel 11 on most days

and i wish i was over it 
but my skin feels like a cage
and i’ve bleached it fuckin’ raw but
what do i do with all these stains?

how do i miss what i wasn’t handed?
god, why’d you let him get away?
why do i still lay awake at night begging him to please just stop already

i feel like i’m 11 (god i’ll believe if you take him away)
i feel like i’m 11 (god i’ll believe if you take this away)
i feel like i’m 11 (god i’ll believe you, i wanna believe you)

11 (prod. dan darmawan) [demo 1]

totoo

jiji

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