Mix Tape

from the Jim's Big Ego album, They're Everywhere!

Lyrics:
All the girls in the class room think he's hot
he shows up wearing the sandals with the white socks
he hears them giggling while he's got his back to the class
he thinks he's got an eraser mark on his ass
and all the girls from the hall show up to hear him talk
even though most of the time he's covered in chalk
Math Prof Rock Star!
woo hoo!
Math Prof Rock Star!
oh yeah!
Math Prof Rock Star!
who knew?
When he was young he never thought that he would be a
Math Prof Rock Star
And after hours outside of his office there's a line waiting
full of girls lining up to ask about their quadratic equations
she leans over the desk and twirls a pencil in her hair
complains that the grade he gave her was way unfair
and all the professors they laugh about it and wish him well
but the guys in the class are just jealous as hell
Math Prof Rock Star!
woo hoo!
Math Prof Rock Star!
oh yeah!
Math Prof Rock Star!
who knew?
He was voted most unlikely ever to become a
Math Prof Rock Star.
And at the end of the day he's got to sneak out the back
there's a stairway behind the machine where you get a snack
she finds him there, grabs him and kisses him hard
he doesn't fight it, he knows he's been caught
and she leads him down to the alley way to her car
it's kind of hard being married to a
Math Prof Rock Star!
woo hoo!
Math Prof Rock Star!
oh yeah!
Math Prof Rock Star!
who knew?
three point one four one five nine two six five three five
Math Prof Rock Star.

Math Prof Rock Star

From the Jim's Big Ego album, "They're Everywhere"
Available on iTunes

Asshole

From the Jim's Big Ego release - Free*


Lyrics: 

human beings like kissing other human beings
depravity is all around us!
to lick and to bite other pretty human beings
lord save us all from depravity!

and human beings like feeling dizzy all the time
depravity is all around us!
so they smoke weeds and flowers and they drink beer and wine
depravity!
depravity!
lord save us all from depravity!

but i just want to feel good
i just want to feel good
mmmm....ahhhhh!

boys who like boys and girls who like girls
depravity is all around us!
and they wouldn't switch sides if you offered them the world
lord save us all from depravity!

some human beings like to get naked for you
depravity is all around us!
others prefer a more remote point of view
depravity!
depravity!
lord save us all from depravity!

but i just want to feel good
i just want to feel good
mmmm....ahhhhh!

some human beings like bending others to their needs
depravity is all around us!
some will use whips and some will use beads
lord save us all from depravity!

thank goodness for the pious who tell us how to behave
depravity is all around us!
with whom we should war and who we should enslave
depravity!
profanity!
humanity!
insanity!
lord save us all from insanity!
lord save us all from humanity!
lord save us all from depravity!

Credits:
Jim Infantino: guitar, vocals
Jesse Flack: upright bass and vocals
Dan Cantor: drums and vocals
Phil Broikos: accordion
Sean Staples: mandolin

Depravity

From the Jim's Big Ego release, "They're Everywhere"

I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky you left me
I think I'm better off this way
I'm lucky you left me
although I wanted you to stay
I'm lucky you left me
I don't cry a lot at night
I'm lucky you left me
don't worry darling
I'm alright
When first you went away I thought my days and nights were forever gonna SUCK
But now with just a little time I can see my future brightening up
Cause the truth is:
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky you left me
I know I'll never be the same
I'm lucky you left me
I feel a little sorry for what's his name
I'm lucky you left me
Because hey, you really were a *bleep*
I'm lucky you left me
and I no longer want to scratch
that itch
Now here's the part of the song where you'd expect to find a little IRONY
about how I'd really much rather have you back... SORRY
Cause the truth is:
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky
I'm lucky you left me
unfaithful and untrue
I'm lucky you left me
every day I forget a little more about you
I'm lucky you left me
I think I'm better off alone
I'm lucky you left me
darling please
DON'T COME HOME
DON'T COME HOME
DON'T COME HOME
DON'T COME HOME
don't come home.


Lucky

Noplace Like Nowhere

After The Tornado

Angry White Guy

03 Where The Money Is

04 Hate Street

Lyrics by Eward Lear (1871)
Music by Jim's Big Ego

I
They went to sea in a sieve, they did;
In a sieve they went to sea: 
In spite of all their friends could say,
On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
In a sieve they went to sea. 
And when the sieve turned round and round,
And every one cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
They called aloud, "Our sieve ain't big;
But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig:
In a sieve we'll go to sea!"
Far and few, far and few, 
Are the lands where the Jumblies live: 
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue; 
And they went to sea in a sieve.
 
II
They sailed away in a sieve, they did,
In a sieve they sailed so fast, 
With only a beautiful pea-green veil
Tied with a ribbon, by way of a sail,
To a small tobacco-pipe mast. 
And every one said who saw them go,
"Oh! won't they be soon upset, you know?
For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long;
And, happen what may, it's extremely wrong
In a sieve to sail so fast."
Far and few, far and few, 
Are the lands where the Jumblies live: 
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue; 
And they went to sea in a sieve.
 
III
The water it soon came in, it did;
The water it soon came in: 
So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
In a pinky paper all folded neat;
And they fastened it down with a pin. 
And they passed the night in a crockery-jar;
And each of them said, "How wise we are!
Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
While round in our sieve we spin."
Far and few, far and few, 
Are the lands where the Jumblies live: 
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue; 
And they went to sea in a sieve.
 
IV
And all night long they sailed away;
And when the sun went down, 
They whistled and warbled a moony song
To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,
In the shade of the mountains brown. 
"O Timballoo! How happy we are
When we live in a sieve and a crockery-jar!
And all night long, in the moonlight pale,
We sail away with a pea-green sail
In the shade of the mountains brown."
Far and few, far and few, 
Are the lands where the Jumblies live: 
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue; 
And they went to sea in a sieve.
 
V
They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,—
To a land all covered with trees: 
And they bought an owl, and a useful cart,
And a pound of rice, and a cranberry-tart,
And a hive of silvery bees; 
And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws,
And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws,
And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree,
And no end of Stilton cheese.
Far and few, far and few, 
Are the lands where the Jumblies live: 
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue; 
And they went to sea in a sieve.
 
VI
And in twenty years they all came back,—
In twenty years or more; 
And every one said, "How tall they've grown!
For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
And the hills of the Chankly Bore." 
And they drank their health, and gave them a feast
Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;
And every one said, "If we only live,
We, too, will go to sea in a sieve,
To the hills of the Chankly Bore."
Far and few, far and few, 
Are the lands where the Jumblies live: 
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue; 
And they went to sea in a sieve.


Jim's Big Ego

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