Lottery Dust

Character Limit

Permit Exempt

Jim Swill At Chase Public 12-28-2015

Spoken Record by Jim Swill with ambient synth by Evolve. 
Video found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az7ETUcZ71E 

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Peanuts and Coke

life is a loading screen 
death is the program 

aim off screen reload 
unlimited rage 
invincibility mode 

it's like a joke at first but then it's all happening for real
in real time, in real life
all morbid and psychologically distorted 
fireworks and birthday cards, christmas cards and valentines, 
all becoming rubble of the mind 

18 and up to run the fucking gauntlet 
they tore down that 28 dollar sex motel 
behind white castle down like it was haunted 
days go by like meter minutes 
withdraw deposit

ever had a dream that had it's own landscape? 
Like a place where dreams happen
at different times in the past tense, 
but it's non linear so it could be any tense
but ironically its tense like creepy
everything hazy and artificial looking
always out of reach
like a painting of a place you're going 
a place you're going, but never there. 

violent symbols falling inward  
spinning in pixelated fire
thinking of a promise 
you just forgot to keep 
drive is just drive like potential is just potential 
its nothing till its something
in the eyes of another 

there's an alarm outside at the intersection for blind people to cross the street 
and you can hear people pushing the button over and over to make the light change faster but its not connected to anything, 
just a placebo of or a symbol of control 

drunk bros latenight
scream for a taxi
dude in a bubble coat vowing to kill
nobody cares, cops don't come here
little kids still talk shit 

remain alert, remain in motion 
develop inertia
punch a brick wall
pull ups on the street sign 
grime deposit
the shit is too frightening in real time to pause it
roll with it 

it doesn't bring any sense of deeper relaxation to be 
floating on a planet as a piece of conscious dust 
Super Bowl halftime latex orgy 
throwing confetti on hobo barf salad and piss 
cutting up pills with credit cards for college in the debt grip  

hours in a glowing box 
taking the bus to the new casino  
with 30 dollars to spend 
enough to feel disappointment 
not to be devastated 
shit show jimmy buffets margaritaville
transcend random generator 
and focus on the lights 
the oxygen tanks 
the judge judy slot machine 
the starbucks 
the dealers

86 fucks given 
minimum wage like 
whats up bitch 
and we're all like 
oh hi what can we get for you 

think of ouroboros like a tattoo on a body 
permanently stuck, but sometimes we forget 
the cycle of the cycle of the shit you don't remember 
till you're dreaming and its happened later on 

there's caves in the desert where they hide nuclear waste 
there's caves in the desert where they stockpile american cheese
people act like they didn't know that salsbury steak is hella grody
ponies and bone charcoal  
frying sawdust in plastic fat
bloody guts become gray like oatmeal in the vat 
you ever accidentally watch a death video on the internet?
you never used to be able to do that 

daydream  
dancing in the dark 
everybody
strobing  

flashing memories, time going faster 
trapped in the same little gray zone 
nothing feels real because nothing ever happens 
and it goes on for so long 
you forget what living even feels like 
wake up the same with a midwest glaze 
resenting those who escape 
and awarding those who stagnate 

good old boys with loose jowls 
turkey neck vietnam vet
jimmy rigging shit like a trainset 
built by schizophrenics living in they moms basement 
take meds and breathe deeply 
eyeballs look noided completely 
that awkward moment when you lie down with another person
and you remember how to feel totally alone
a million acres of corn and roadkill 

don't get old and die like that 
just go live the fucking dream 
it doesn't matter how hard it is 
living dreams are worth the pain

this is alchemy with nothing but a fake name 
this is alchemy with nothing but a screen






Jim Swill

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