Ok guys, I (23M) just saw Minions 2: The Rise of Gru (2022) in theaters (AMC) and it is the BEST movie I have ever watched. Even better than Morbius (2022) !!!1!!1!1!)! I expect 100 minillion tickets to be sold, a box office of 1 minionillion dollars worldwide for the first time ever, and a #MinionsSweep at the 2023 Academy Awards.

My favorite scene was when Gru said “Oh yeah, it’s minioning time!” and proceeded to commit mass vehicular minionslaughter. It really said a lot about the social class system in our society.

I was furiously masturbating throughout the lengthy and artistic sex scene between Kevin and Bob. My banana throbbed every time a minion said “banana” as though they were beckoning me to skewer them through their beautiful bumholes. The minions’ members were as long as the minions were tall, and they were animated in a detailed Japanese style. Kevin’s candy corn kielbasa battled Bob’s bright bulging banana in an homage to the swashbuckling sword fight scenes of classic Hollywood. Then, the two gorgeous gigachads locked, docked, and loaded. Kevin, Bob, and I all came simultaneously as we enjoyed the greatest sex of our lives. On the way out of the theater, I apologized to the manager and offered to clean the cum off the floor, seat, and family in front of me. I explained to him that I am the highest class of male, the Minion Male, and he was very understanding.

After the film, I emptied my life’s savings and bought all of the Minions merchandise from every retail establishment in a 50 mile radius of my mommy’s house because this memorabilia will be worth minionillions of Gru-coin one day. My bitch mom didn’t understand and kicked me out of the house, so i am writing this review from the Wendy’s dumpster.

I urge all of you to view this cinematic masterpiece immediately as I am sure it will shatter all of the records Morbius set and will be considered the greatest film of all time!

iSORE | prod.COHKANE

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