If you find your testicles you can store them in this.

HR - Missing Testicles

The only people older than 10 who talk about poop are proctologists, and even they think it's kind of gross.

HR - Proud Pooper

OK, Mr. Poopy Pants, you get to be the first one to wear The Sweater of Happiness. No one can be unhappy wearing a pink pullover with unicorns.

That reminds me, I was going to go sailing this weekend but I don't think I will.  Because I'm afraid I'll FALL OFF THE EDGE OF THE EARTH!

That awkward moment when an old boss becomes your new boss.


Sometimes you don't know what you think you know.  

There’s a fine line between encouraging your kid and turning them into a narcissistic little jerk that thinks the world revolves around them.

You swore you were going to be more organized this quarter. I’m sorry, Kevin but I have to drop you into the alligator pit.


Don't  try to make work more fun with “theme days”.  Just don't.

Your complexion looks like a stop light! You have to take it easy or I really think something bad is going to happen.

If the consultant who came up with it actually had to do it -  for one day - that'd be the end of that.  

Tough break, Ted, for people old enough to remember Knowlton Nash - the Huffington Post and Buzzfeed aren’t news.

We all need something to believe in...just don't pick something stupid, OK? 

Oh, so you're *not* dressed up as a slutty vampire...  That's awkward.

I am defenseless against the mini chocolate bar.

You'd think seeing a topless woman would be the highlight of  the day. Not necessarily.

They're out there and they're terrifying.

Former midday host on Power 97 Winnipeg.  The station doesn't exist anymore either so don't feel bad.