This song is about how my life currently is.

TikTok: @J.KindaThings

YouTube: @J.KindaThings

Email: emailimadeformusic@gmail.com


Lyrics: 

Yeah, 

What can change in 2 years? 

What will I lose in 6 months? 

Everyone else gets to have fun…

And I ain’t even 21…


They be celebrating birthday’s…

While I’m counting down my days…

I’m the only one with no home…

Or nothing else of my own…


Yeah, 

God what’s the price of my holy soul?

I heard the Devil asking, “let me take control?” 

I’m kinda scared that this my only hope.

I need a life - just give me something now, wow.


Never needed money, never needed things now I’m - 

Sitting back, drinking, always contemplating dreams.

Know it’s trouble when I’m choosing cups instead of weed, 

I just wanna numb myself until I barely breathe.


Parent’s ain’t worrying about me - that’s for sure. 

Only had a year to spare - tho I’m needing more.

Either way I’m homeless or I’m sleeping on the floor. 

What’s the point of having kids when you seeing chores?


Gotta watch everybody pass me by.

I’m stuck with a car - I can’t even drive.

Why am I scared to live, when you scared to die?

Should I choose to lose it all or do I sleep outside?


Over 18 - that means I’ve got money?

Now I’m 20 - so that means I’ve got credit?

Nothing to my name - you wanna talk direction?

I’m still dependent - but they left my ass neglected.


Girlfriend, friendships - don’t have it.

My past and future - just baggage.

Too much pain - I’m masking.

Please God make time stop slipping.


No place - that’s where my move is?

More stress - that’s how I’m doing.

“You’ve had enough time” - plain stupid.

Just sitting back to watch - no movement.


I’ve got no more time…

But look how you’re fine…

I guess I’m defined…

By dollars and dimes…


But make no mistake…

That one day you’ll see…

Your son is shining bright - 

Now, why’d you ever leave me?


I’m your biggest regret…

You doing what your parents did.

Now me and you - we got nothing left.

And I ain’t even sending checks.


Now that I’m out of the nest…

I won’t get no calls or texts.

But that’s alright - you forgot your kid.

And that I won’t forgive… 

(Hum the next 8 bars for ending)

…You’re.Running.Out.Of.Time… -J.

This song is about how I feel being in my room.


Lyrics: 


Yeah - 

Lonely ass room, I’m fully consumed. 

Fly to the moon, these highs are my doom.

Got no friends, I’ll pretend it ain’t true.

This the life I live inside this lonely ass room.


Okay - 

Locked in, acid - I’m dropping.

Fell short - the name John Stockton.

Please lord - this pain ain’t stopping.

My god - I’m so exhausted.


Barely got a home, quiet ass phone.

Empty bank account - fuck, what a joke.

Used to have a circle but you chose to be alone? 

Is it better now that you’re all on your own?


Well -

I’d like to think - but maybe it ain’t so.

Got no self belief, so music’s how I cope.

I know nothings free, so my patience don’t come cheap.

Let pretenders go - now I’m sighing with relief, see? 


I’m looking at, a lazy stoner - wasting time, fucking poser.

Saying “self belief” but you always smoking trees?

Seems to me you fell for wrong type of green, jeez.


I’m in love, but it’s only with these clouds.

Don’t know why my life so up and down.

In these walls I’ve got no one else.

It’s almost like I’m trapped in a cell.


Well, well, well - Then maybe ask for help? Oh, that doesn’t ring a bell?

“Oh I’m so unhappy let me go and kill myself.”

Said you hungry? Then why the fuck you skipping meals?

Preach without practice? Tell us how you really feel.


Look at lonely ass you.

Every day’s his free time - with nothing to do.

Don’t say it ain’t true.

This the life you live inside this lonely ass room.


Okay - 

Sinking - please god, I’m drowning.

Thinking - please lord, not stopping.

Wishing - someone could save me.

Different? Nothing is changing.


Still above ground, still got my life.

Got a second chance - maybe use it, right?

Been two days, but I’m staying up all night.

Nothing’s guaranteed, but I think I’ll roll the dice.


You so depressive, shit is upsetting.

Always second guessing, bro we fucking get it.

Can you be a man without your independence?

It’s only me and you - I’m your favorite critic.


Yeah -

I’m the only one - who hasn’t found a job or love.

Seeing other drugs - scared one day I’ll join the club.

In the stars - now they say I’m out of touch.

Deadly stuff - fuck I might’ve did too much.


Way to prove me wrong - getting faded ‘til the day is gone?

Oh wait, no - hold the applause.

Your sorry’s are my favorite song.

Now let me go and turn my fucking speakers on. 


No apologies - I’m always proud of me.

My psychology - my thoughts harassing me.

Plea insanity - ain’t escaping me. 

Closed door - got no need to open up, fuck.


Got no need to open up, fuck…


Fuck.

Closed Door - J.

This song is about my thought process during my graduation lmfao


Lyrics: 


(Intro Dialogue)

Yeah, I’ve been chilling bro.

I just… chose to do the online school shit this year.

I’m only here for my family - otherwise…

I would’ve stayed my ass at home. 

**laughs**


Graduation - everybody happy.

Told some jokes and - ain’t nobody laughing.

Saw my ex - man, what the fuck is that shit?

All that “love” - yeah, she turned it into past-tense.


Only 15 - but I know she got me.

“Attitude,” that’s the only way she act - mean.

Caught her eyes - why the fuck they so entrancing?

It’s only for your heart - I’ve turned into a dope fiend.


We’ll press restart - I’m yours to pick apart.

I’ll give my all - this don’t work? I’ll take the fall.

I’ll fit your mold - baby, go and take your toll.

Just tell me what you need? You know I’ll do it all, 


Yeah - 

Been 5 years - do you think of me? (Yup)

Hate myself - when you be in dreams. (Fuck)

Oh, “my love” - are you happy? (Nope)

You know I’m not - now don’t say you sorry. (Hm)


How you feel? I still worry about your meals. (Nom)

We were kids - now we’re going through the years. (Yeah)

Is it wrong - that I’m wanting no one else? (Nah)

Play this song - when you’re missing how I kiss. (Mwah) 


Been there, done that - that’s your price tag.

Fucked all my friends? You can take them.

Not one word - and you’re the victim?

Oh my god. (Is she serious?)


You- 

Laughed at my tears. (That’s a fact)

Talked all your shit. (Behind my back)

Now you’ve got no one else. (How’s your dad?)

I think you’ve lost yourself. (Where she at?)


Please? Don’t say you love me.

Please? Don’t say you sorry.

Please? Don’t tell your stories.

Please? Don’t say we’re nothing.


I’ve - got, no one else “babe.”

I - still, hear what you say.

And I - still, care what you think.

Oh… that’s - only in my dreams. **laughs** (Said in normal voice)


I’m the one that took all of your abuse.

I’m a man - so I’m guessing that ain’t true? (Uh-oh)

Never raised a hand - ‘cause you never had to.

And all it took was words - (but aren’t you a dude?)


False narratives - lemme bring some clarity.

You “the one?” Now the thought of that is scaring me.

Give it back - think you’ve stolen my identity.

Honestly… I can’t recognize myself… *sigh* shit. (Said in normal voice)


I hope you’re fine with knowing what you’ve done.

All along you’ve been lying to yourself.

You think you’re strong - just because you’re being loud? 

I wish you well - Lord knows you need the help.


(In normal voice)


Ohhhhh shit.

*laughs*

Yeah - 

That’s it right there.

Mhmmm.


You can never say I didn’t do enough.


And don’t forget what you said.


I was “just a high school thing.”


**scoffs** Wow.


(Outro Dialogue)

Nah tho, on some real shit -  It’s like, actually stupid how vividly I can still remember you.

And It makes it even worse that I’m still having to see you in my dreams.

As if everything between us were “normal.” 

…Whatever the fuck that means with you. 

Ugh.

Class Of '21 - J.

This song is about escapism. 

Step inside of my dreams.

         - J. 

Email: emailimadeformusic@gmail.com

YouTube: J.KindaThings

TikTok: @J.KindaThings

Pretending (Redux) - J. (Instrumental)

This was originally a birthday present for someone. But uh… this is *my* mf song ahahaha >:D

Bappy Hirthday - J. (Instrumental ~ Unmixed/Unmastered)

3:13 -

**intro sample build up plays**

**kicks lead into beat drop**

3:13 means I got no sleep.

3:13 means I get no sleep.

3:13 means I’m trying to eat.

3:13 means I tried to eat.

Look -

I’m a diagnosed insomniac. And -

The AM’s are when my problem’s come. So -

Tell me, what am I supposed to do?

Tell me, where am I supposed to go?

I could easily blame it on genetics.

I’m playing quarterback throwing interceptions. (yeah)

Maybe I should just tell the truth?

Maybe I’m just self destructive?

These bags under my eyes - mean I was chasing dreams.

I could stay awake for days - I don’t need no Adderall’s.

I been sipping coffee - now my eye’s twitching.

I think I hear the birds singing - outside of my window?

But really - when the sun rises - that’s when the world stops.

But really - when it goes down - that’s when the time starts.

But really - I’m in a race against my own self.

Will I get to be awake when my time comes?

I’m feeling guilt when I jump into my own bed.

It doesn’t help that I sink into my damn floor.

I’m running on fumes - but I think I’ve got more..?

How could I tired? This feeling doesn’t change shit.

3:13 - it means I got no sleep.

4:14 - that means I tried my best.

It’s 5:15 - now my mind’s caving in.

It’s 6:16 - and I can’t take shit.

Yeah -

There ain’t nothing to it… I-

Think it’s been proven… This -

Is a game - I’m losing… So -

I should keep my eyes open.

Yeah

**vocals/instrumental being to fade out**

It’s 3:13 and I’m trying to sleep.

It’s 2:12 - I think I’ll try to sleep?

It’s 1:11 - maybe I should sleep?

…Maybe I should sleep..?

**beat plays out**

3:13 - J.

Ferris:


**beat plays in once**


**normal voice**

I ain’t been sleeping - I ain’t been eating.

I ain’t been dreaming - I’ve been thinking…

**deep voice** 

How long can I be the same me? 

…Am I really worth the effort? 


**normal voice**

Fly with me - speak my language?

**deep voice** 

I’ve been losing brain cells since I was 15.

**normal voice**

I really thought that the highs could save me.

**deep voice**

But now all I do is savor.


**normal voice**

I roll up praying that I won’t come down.

I sip from bottles - and my liver starts to fight back. 

I wake up and vomit stomach acid.

Stomach’s empty now - but I’m full of it. 


**deep voice**

I close my eyes - I’m still in my room.

I’m coughing tar up - but I’ll still hit that too.

Cottonmouth? I got water, Fool.

…I don’t think I’m ever fucking letting go.


**normal voice**

I ain’t been sleeping…

I ain’t been eating…

**deep voice**

I ain’t been dreaming…

I’ve been thinking…

**song ends**

Ferris - J.

Clock, Work:


**little me talks for the intro** 


**hi hats kick in** 


Venus, Texas - I go and pace around my acre. 

Cursed lands, grounds were stolen - shout out my Native’s. 

Prisoner… with a PS2 - that’s Christmas. 

Bleeding out, 8 years old - I’m cleaning carpets. 

Euless, Texas - I took a trip and met my Demon’s. 

Arlington - taekwondo, I’m fighting roaches. 

Saginaw - I fade away, spark up - it gets me. 

**beat cuts out** 

22 - now my life is music making. 


**drums kick in** 

I blinked my eyes - now you know my name? 

I look around and shit don’t feel the same. 

I’m painting pictures with my words now. 

I scribbled notes down - and it all came from loneliness. 

I wake up and make a song. (yeah.) 

I’ve got a guitar or piano keys to ease the pain. 

I’m starting beats to see in my brain.

 I hear the loop - but I’m stuck inside my bedroom. 


**hi hats go away, only kicks/snares play** 

It’s time to find out - what makes an artist? (yeah.) 

I can’t help, but start to shrink - on their pedestal… (woah.) 

It’s been 3 years - and counting… (somebody stop me.) 

How long… can I keep this going..? (only time will tell.) 


**clock ticking replaces hi-hats** 

That kid… made it out… of Venus, Texas. 

They tell me - “remember my name - when you’re famous.” 

But I look at them and say - “only time will tell.” 

But really - I hope they remember me - when I leave the room… 

**beat plays out, hi-hats take over**

Clock, Work - J.

Metronome:


**beat rises, with ambience overtaking it**


Tick-Tock, the clock’s ticking - that’s my metronome.

Punch-in, you’re on the clock - life don’t care - you’re 22.

The rent’s due now - so - take - out - a - loan…

(is my place a home?) **normal voice**


There’s no days off - I can’t risk another point.

I’m taking orders from the void - it only wants my peace.

I turn pages into books - now I wonder what they call me… (yeah.)


I’m catching smiles when I walk by - are they for pretend? 

I grasp at the fleeting clouds - will they choose me tho? 

I keep looking in the mirror and it’s getting hard to look back. 

(are you alright juan?) **in deep voice**


I’ll - get, no - phone - calls…

Tick-tock tho - the clock stays ticking…

Life doesn’t give a fuck that I’m 22.

…I’m 22… **in deep voice**

**beat plays out**

Metronome - J.

I teach myself music. Thank you for listening. I love you all.

   - J.

Everywhere: @J.Kinda.Things

Email: emailimadeformusic@gmail.com

J.

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks