This is a Soprano, Alto, Bass, setting of the chant melody for the gradual from the Missa pro sponsis in the Graduale Romanum.

Uxor Tua

Written at the request of Amy Beribak for a media presentation.

Tunnels - -Round - N-round

Working in Ableton Live, I recorded the first movement using my iPhone as my in class assignment to make a sound walk around the NIU music building. Being hungry and thinking of lunch without possessing the food to satiate my hunger, I persevered with the assignment and let the sounds feed my soul instead. 

As I was finding my way at the start of my Masters program, I became keenly interested in the music of my lived-in life. You see, I had only learned that I’m autistic the year before I started this program, and I was becoming aware of how many self-regulation patterns I had actually honed over the years. It was curious to find that music-making is equally an artistic expression and a self-regulation technique for me.

Wanting to share these cool observations about myself with people, I decided to expand this idea of a Preprandial Stroll to include the meal, itself, and what follows. The last two movements were recorded in my apartment (with a comically high sample rate before I learned that I could save storage space on my computer without any audible sound loss at a lower sample rate!), and I created a kitchen sounds keyboard to share with anyone interested as well as these 2 movements. These are highly abstract collages that peek into the world that I inhabit, one saturated with curious sounds and flavors and aromas to savor.

Some day, I hope to figure out how to use Max well enough to sync up this series of 4 photographs (that I used to make the cover image) to the beat of the music, randomly switching from picture to picture. If you are reading this, and know how to do that, would you teach me? Short of that, would you like to collaborate with me? Perhaps, you know more people than I do who might be interested in this sort of music.

1. A Preprandial Stroll

Working in Ableton Live, I recorded the first movement using my iPhone as my in class assignment to make a sound walk around the NIU music building. Being hungry and thinking of lunch without possessing the food to satiate my hunger, I persevered with the assignment and let the sounds feed my soul instead. 

As I was finding my way at the start of my Masters program, I became keenly interested in the music of my lived-in life. You see, I had only learned that I’m autistic the year before I started this program, and I was becoming aware of how many self-regulation patterns I had actually honed over the years. It was curious to find that music-making is equally an artistic expression and a self-regulation technique for me.

Wanting to share these cool observations about myself with people, I decided to expand this idea of a Preprandial Stroll to include the meal, itself, and what follows. The last two movements were recorded in my apartment (with a comically high sample rate before I learned that I could save storage space on my computer without any audible sound loss at a lower sample rate!), and I created a kitchen sounds keyboard to share with anyone interested as well as these 2 movements. These are highly abstract collages that peek into the world that I inhabit, one saturated with curious sounds and flavors and aromas to savor.

Some day, I hope to figure out how to use Max well enough to sync up this series of 4 photographs (the ones I used to make the cover image) to the beat of the music, randomly switching from picture to picture. If you are reading this, and know how to do that, would you teach me? Short of that, would you like to collaborate with me? Perhaps, you know more people than I do who might be interested in this sort of music.

2. A Prandial Stroll

3. A Postprandial Stroll

Supplement your listening with this time lapse video of my recording process.

https://youtu.be/vWWaqWSHYeY

For a long time, I’ve given preference to the opinions others have shared about what makes music interesting. In the Summer of 2024, I committed to trusting my own experiences more (without negating the thoughts of others. Playing against drones has long been a favorite musical experience of mine, and I wanted to focus on incorporating drones into my music throughout the second year of masters degree. So, I thought I’d use one of my tried and true teaching techniques, juxtaposition, with myself. 

By juxtaposing a familiar skill (drumming) with a skill I want to build (intuitive awareness of the melodic pull of pitches), my brain applies the lessons mastered with the familiar skill to the context of the desired skill. I decided to build a hybrid drum set with my midi keyboard incorporated into the kit. I figured a video would show this better, so I did a time lapse recording of my process making these 3 movements. 

As you can see, life goes on in the background as I work. Laundry dries. My wife awakens and wants to hug me. She leaves to go work and returns. My work spans the length of several hours and anchors me to a physical location in much the same way that the drone note anchors me to its tonal center. Wanting to connect my music with the beauty inherent in everyday life, this multimodal polyphony tickles my artistic aesthetic.

Drums n' Drones 1

For a long time, I’ve given preference to the opinions others have shared about what makes music interesting. In the Summer of 2024, I committed to trusting my own experiences more (without negating the thoughts of others. Playing against drones has long been a favorite musical experience of mine, and I wanted to focus on incorporating drones into my music throughout the second year of masters degree. So, I thought I’d use one of my tried and true teaching techniques, juxtaposition, with myself. 

By juxtaposing a familiar skill (drumming) with a skill I want to build (intuitive awareness of the melodic pull of pitches), my brain applies the lessons mastered with the familiar skill to the context of the desired skill. I decided to build a hybrid drum set with my midi keyboard incorporated into the kit. I figured a video would show this better, so I did a time lapse recording of my process making these 3 movements. 

As you can see, life goes on in the background as I work. Laundry dries. My wife awakens and wants to hug me. She leaves to go work and returns. My work spans the length of several hours and anchors me to a physical location in much the same way that the drone note anchors me to its tonal center. Wanting to connect my music with the beauty inherent in everyday life, this multimodal polyphony tickles my artistic aesthetic.

Drums n' Drones 2

Drums n' Drones 3

From the time I was small, I have been keenly aware of death. Since 2 of my grandparents were the youngest of large families, there were many funerals for me to attend throughout my early childhood. I have pondered my own death nearly every day, and I sometimes shock my wife with nonchalant mentions of death in casual conversation.

There is a curious line from Psalm 87 (88) that reads (in the new Grail translation), “Will the shades rise up to praise you?” The psalm is a lament in the face of death. I have, at many times throughout my life, experienced a quasi-death that led me to join my own words to those of the psalmist imploring help from God. This layered improvisation was made in such a moment. 

Death is an intricate part of life. In my Catholic tradition, death is thought of as the door through which all people enter fully into life. Our lives are thought of as pilgrimages, wherein we hope for a completely good future without the suffering we experience on a near-daily basis. We see images of heaven here on earth, sometimes described as heaven piercing through our fleshly vail. While it seems to be most expedient for me to draw my attention back to those reasons for hope, I have also deepened my understanding of life through periodic meditation on death. 

I hope this music will inspire you to artistically engage with the limits between life and death. Please share your creations with me. I’d love to start an artistic dialogue with you!

Joe Beribak

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