It's getting harder to keep pushing forwards
And I know, and I know
That it's just chemicals
But it doesn't make it easier

To be a narcissist
With no confidence
Because I can't love myself
But I hate everybody else
And I'm singing

Oh, god dammit
I thought this time was different
But I still feel alone

And the pills don't work
So I guess I'll just stay home

Everybody thinks that it's just sadness
Eating away at me
The truth is, it's like an absence
The truth is I feel empty

And I've been doing all the things that used to make me happy
I can't remember how
I guess I'll just stay in my bed and watch 10 hours of netflix
And wonder "Is this really my life now?"

Waking up at 4 in the afternoon
Wondering where the hell have I been
Here's hoping today will be different
Here's hoping, but it never is

Write another song, another melody
Try to forget that you haven't talked to anyone in weeks
And it's only getting worse

Goddammit

Decided to try my hand at writing a sappy love song, rather than my usual angsty, introspective stuff. I think it turned out pretty well.

Lyrics:
I've got something to say
I hope it's what you want to hear

Cause I can't see me with you, see
It's all that I can do to just breathe
Because girls like you only exist in movies

I tied it to a melody
And I hoped that you would sing with me
And we'd fall asleep beneath a tree somewhere

So, if I had to meet you on the moon
I'd be on the first flight out to you
I would

There is no other in this world
That could ever take your place
I am yours, forevermore

Would you whisper in my ear
Every line you want to hear? 
And I'll put it in a song

Cause I've been waiting for someone like you
And I think you've been waiting too
Would you be the puzzle piece
That fits perfectly with me?

I'm trying to keep this in perspective
I just had to let you know
That I hear our soundtrack singing
Everywhere I go

And everything I see 
Is framed so perfectly


Girls Like You Only Exist In Movies

These are some covers that I really love to play, so I decided to share them with you, literally everybody in the world.

New American Classic - Taking Back Sunday Cover

Starlight (Muse Cover)

First song of the new year. I plan to write and release a song each week this year, and this is the first one. I think it's okay, definitely something I want to work with some more, but I think there are some cool guitar parts. Lyrically, these songs will serve as a kind of journal, like a chronicle of where my head is each week. I think it will be an interesting year.

Lyrics: 
I'm feeling so fucked up
Like I always do this time of year

And I'm making excuses in my head
To never leave my bed

I'm sorry, I just don't feel 
Real right now
And I'm afraid when my feet hit the ground
I'll never ever ever stop falling down

And I haven't seen the sun in days
There's no one here, so I'll stay
Wrapped up and pointless in my bed

And I'll forget everything
And I'll forget everyone
And I'll forget everything I ever said

So I've been pouring myself
Into every line like distraction is all I need
And I've been counting down
Till this season ends
And I can leave


Real (Week 1 of 52)

It's 4 o clock in the morning
And I'm standing on some empty southern street
Trying to hold on to one thought
Long enough to see if anything means anything

And I know I could just keep moving
And I know I might never stop
It's that romantic notion of leaving
Of never looking back

I feel the road breaking up beneath my feet
And I know there's nothing after this
I think I'm dying alone, I think I'm falling asleep

It's one of those echo chamber kind of nights
Where every angry thought begins to fight its way
Out of my head and into my hands
Out of my head, into my hands

And it's all so familiar
Yes, I know just where these scars will stay
I'll write in a sad attempt to shake them off
That I won't believe in any way

And I'm still waiting for someone to tell me
That this ever gets better
That this ever gets easier


Out of My Head, Into My Hands (Live 3/4 Band Phone Demo)

One of a few tracks I've been working on. Feels good to be writing again after many years.
Lyrics:
When I was fifteen
I wanted to kill myself
I sat on the tracks
and waited for a train to come

Just like that Smoking Popes song
even my death is just a reference
to something else

Maybe the reason I'm still looking for myself
Is there's nothing to find

Take a pill
Now take another
do you feel better yet?

Write this down
And save for later
Don't you dare forget

You trace over your scars in permanent ink
Tell yourself it's fine, you're fine
You don't feel anything
And turn it into something you can sing

Make yourself useful

This will all be worth it
Tell yourself this will all be worth it
Someday

Then write another line
About your scars again
Tell yourself
This isn't all you are
Look in the mirror
Do you still believe that at all?

Tied myself to those train tracks
20 years ago
And I never got back up
It's like I'm still there now

Waiting for someone to take my hand
And tell me it's okay
To be

Make Yourself Useful - Demo

Recorded on a phone. This song is finished and will have a fully recorded version up soon though.

I locked myself up in a vague attempt
Not to fuck myself up
And I spent the next year
Falling apart in a one room apartment
Tearing my hair out and
Waiting for something

And I bottled all the things 
that I wanted to be
Sent it out in a sad play for sympathy
And there's nothing new here
It's the same song I've been
Playing for years

These scars don't heal
They just get better at blending in
And I haven't learned a thing
But how to walk this path again
I'm not who you thought I'd be 
But I know just who I am
I'm the one that falls down

Falling Down Demo (Janky Phone Edition)

A new shitty demo for a song called "Summer".

All the girls that I've raised up as idols
Are getting married to other people
And I could use some good news for a change

And all my half-hearted attempts
At falling in love again
Have left me empty and feeling nothing

So just touch me
I need to feel something
Anything, just touch me
I need to feel anything at all

I've got nothing but time on my hands
I've been tearing myself apart
To the same songs, just sing along
Walking the same roads. I'm gone.

So if you see me
Don't tell me you love me
Don't say that you're sorry 
Or you're thinking of me
Nothing gets better, I'm just getting older
Summer is coming and I'm getting colder

I could write myself out
But I wouldn't believe me
Cut myself up
And hope somebody sees me
Tear all my hair out
And move to the mountains
Never be seen again

I've been writing the same song for 25 goddamn years

So just touch me
I need to feel something
Anything, just touch me
I need to feel anything at all

I've got nothing but time on my hands
I've been tearing myself apart
To the same songs, just sing along
Walking the same roads. I'm gone.

So if you see me
Don't tell me you love me
Don't say that you're sorry 
Or you're thinking of me
Nothing gets better, I'm just getting older
Summer is coming and I'm getting colder

This is a cry for help the only way I know how

Summer

Lyrics

My pen is scratching paper
Barely light enough to see
Cause I know you're out there somewhere
And you're not thinking about me

If all these racing thoughts 
Could make up something you'd believe
Maybe I could sleep

Verse 2:
I see fire in your eyes
I know there's chaos in your kiss
And I want every inch of you to know
There's nothing after this

I will spill all of my guts
Just so you know you're not alone
And I will cover up the cuts
You leave behind when you go

Chorus:
And I will destroy myself
To ease your pain
If you ask me to

And I will bare all these scars
And hate myself
For loving you

Verse 3:
You are a song that I can't sing
The words don't make it past my mouth
You are the spark inside my veins
I know someday will burn me down

Sell myself to you in pieces
Every one is broken in
Until there's nothing left inside me
And you can see right through my skin

Chorus

Bridge:
Tell me something real
Tell me you don't feel this at all
You don't feel this at all

And I will be a soldier
Marching right into the flames
Because this always ends the same
Just the mention of your name
Will tear me down

Chorus x2

Verse 1

The Spark

I Will Follow You Into The Dark cover

Who Found Who's Hair in Who's Bed? (Owen cover)

As a project to learn my way around Ableton and my new MIDI keyboard (Launchkey mini), I decided to recreate one of my favorite songs from The Adventure Zone podcast. I also decided to only use instruments and sounds from the Final Fantasy VI soundfont (they're both RPGs...I don't know). Really happy with how it turned out.

Arms Outstretched by Griffin Mcelroy (SNES Version)(FUCKED)

*Re-upload because my timing was all fucked up before. That's what I get for not quantizing I guess. Anyway, should be good now. Thanks for listening!*

As a project to learn my way around Ableton and my new MIDI keyboard (Launchkey mini), I decided to recreate one of my favorite songs from The Adventure Zone podcast. I also decided to only use instruments and sounds from the Final Fantasy VI soundfont (they're both RPGs...I don't know). Really happy with how it turned out.

Arms Outstretched by Griffin Mcelroy (SNES Version) (Fixed)

I write songs and I hope that people like them. What else could there even be?

Joe Krupinsky

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