fan since 2021 but i dont remember this version ever being on here😭😭 how did u get ur hands on it?

debut single predating atlas / white silas / ethel cain, released around september 2018

Witchcest - Just Snorted a Pill

Beauty is everything
But no man will ever know what that means
Only the woman who’s holding his hand
Will ever know the pit that grows inside of that man

He likes his clothes black, dinner packed
8 hour days and nights away from her
Same place, saving face for him

I feel like a preacher’s wife
Slaving every day and night
Making sure that he looks nice
For his children that I don’t share

Beauty is everything 
Even when it takes the piss from me
Even when he takes what he thinks is his inside me
I am beautiful and I am free, I am free

I feel like a preacher’s wife
Crying waiting up all night
But I’ll carry him and Jesus Christ
As long as he comes home to me

Ethel Cain ~ 8 Hour Days

ethel cain - virginity (piano demo)

And I don’t wanna talk about love anymore
'Cause it’s getting too much for me
All I do is waste and decline, waiting for that age of my life
When I'm old and love is all that I’ll need

Swaying in the lamplight in my mother’s white gown
Holding out like a dog they’ve yet to put down
I whore out my tears and just keep wasting the best of my years
Like a beauty queen with eyes bleared

Got what I wanted but it’s never enough for me
Darling, don’t you see ?
I’m so beautiful and it’s wasted on me
Because the taste reminds me
I hate what love’s turned out to be

I don’t wanna be in my house anymore
'Cause it just makes me sad
Letting in the wild with every man who brings a world of hurt
With him each time he falls in my bed

Do you just want my blood?
Am I just that damn hard to love?
'Cause it feels like all I have is still just not enough
I guess that I'll just go outside
And watch the fire and fields of gold fly farther away from me

Got what I wanted but it’s never enough for me
Darling, don’t you see
I’m so beautiful and it’s wasted on me?
Because the taste reminds me
I hate what love turned out to be

But one of these days, it’ll come right back
I’ll love myself and I’ll tell myself that
I don’t have to wait to be happy when I’m old
And one of these days, I'll find a way
To fight the waves, embrace the pain
And paint the ages a hundred shades of gold


And I have found a way, I forgot the way
I’m on my way, I’m on my way
Don’t wait too long, I don’t want you to get tired of me
But I’ll be coming along
I’m coming along, I’ll be coming along
I’ll be coming along, I’ll be coming along
I'll be coming along, I'll be coming along
I'll be coming along
I'll be coming, coming for you
Don’t wait too long, I don’t want you to get tired of me
But I'll be coming along, coming along
I'll be coming along, I'll be coming along
I'll be coming along

Ethel Cain ~ Golden Age (Piano Version)

Powerline Valley (Early Demo)

I like to listen to sad music
‘cause I like to think that at least I’m happier
than the voice coming through my headphones
I wonder what makes her feel so alone
‘cause the way she sings, I know she can’t be happy

now I just cry and write sad music
wondering if I’ll ever be happy, or
if I’ll just be a voice in someone’s headphones
wondering why we all feel so alone
‘cause the way I feel is so far from happy

white silas - s•m•f•s•p

down south (snippet) -ethel cain

bette davis eyes (cover) - ethel cain (live in paris june 3 2024)

last night I blew you a kiss, I hope that you got it
underneath you I told you a lie, I hope that you bought it
strangers touch me in my dreams if I go to bed sober
when the edge of the curtains turn while I'll know that it's over

and you see things for what they are
and I see what they'll never be
and god can make mistakes like he made an example of me
and who could really love someone who's that fucking ugly

leaving his cum in the upholstery, always picking it out like a bad memory
they all say that it's fine 'cause they don't know the cycle like I do
you don't know what it's like tryna love while you heal and you don't get to preach if you don't know how it feels to have every last inch of your body invaded like I do
woke up a saint, fell asleep a martyr
would you do the same things to your own daughter?
still I tried saying "I love you" through a mouthful of dirt
keep parts of dead things in the freezer outside wondering if they suffered when they were alive
does god make delicate things just to watch them get hurt?

and you see things for what they are
and I see what they'll never be
god can make mistakes like he made an example of me
and who could really love someone who's that fucking ugly

that gold cross swings only for me
in jesus's name it kills me slowly
that gold cross swings only for me
in jesus's name it kills me slowly

Powerline Valley (Early Demo)

Lana Del Fae

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