happy.

lyrics
--------
so take all that stress
decompress it & hang it up right at the door
feeling like this isn't fun anymore
not that it ever was
but lately everyone's 
misunderstanding what's really import
tantalizing sights & feelings ignored
paths to get over it never explored
overgrown nothingness
stemmed from destruction
it's deeply embedded beneath all my subsidence

goodness gracious
i'm so cold
my body's filled with brittle bones
they'll break and bend as i grow old
i hope your hand is mine to hold
goodness gracious
i'm alone
broken my sticks & thrown my stones
i'll go somewhere where no one knows me
i don't mind being this lonely  

so maybe it's grim
but i'll spill on a whim about all that i think
my thoughts subside till i'm pushed to the brink
miscalculated
so often equated
to shit so insane i think i need a shrink
traumatized by flies that hatch in my head
metamorphosis ensued till i'm dead
it's funny how they can grow
little do they all know
their home is rotting & damn near condemned

dissociation 
deserting my patience
i don't think i'll wake up & realize
that feeling this vacant
no communication
is simply leaving me terrorized
i see all these faces
inside of the places
that only exist when i close my eyes
so if this is a phase 
that is bound to erase
then i guess that i ought to just give it time
 
goodness gracious
i'm so cold
my body's filled with brittle bones
they'll break and bend as i grow old
i hope your hand is mine to hold
goodness gracious
i'm alone
broken my sticks & thrown my stones
i'll go somewhere where no one knows me
i don't mind being this lonely  

all i ever will be
is someone that'll kill me 
a parasitic head fuck
monotonous & willing
all i ever wished for
is sanity by twenty four
but i never got that
i never got that

all i ever will be

lyrics
--------
lost boy hoping i find my way home
lost sight of why i'm here & where the fuck i should go
one hundred twenty miles from my area code
spilt whiskey on my shirt inside this evergreen home
might tumble down & fall beneath the thick of the mist
a silhouette sat in the distance comes & swings with a miss
i climb trees just to save myself from what could've been
& hide high upon this mountain with a pad & a pen

the drifter lives down the road
& if he follows me home
then i'll pack everything & leave till i know
that i am safe beside my company although he's below
& then he'll gut me like a pig & leave my bones to the crows
& this time i've convinced myself that i'm gonna die
oh i don't think that it's alright but i'll just pray to the sky
i'll find a god in what i sing & sing it every night
and maybe time will tell my story i won't put up a fight

cause fear leads me towards destruction
crippled unable to function
full of unwanted assumptions
petrified by my consumptions
used to hide along the meadow
and now i practice my falsetto
i've been like this from the get-go
i don't ever wanna let go

the walls we build hide all the bodies
of everyone who lives inside me

the drifter

absolute in doubt w/ wicca phase springs eternal (prod. foxwedding)

Gustav Ahr's Album

hellboy (prod smokeasac x yung cortex)

@lilhappylilsad @imsoalone

i feel no shame, girl im a no name
if i go my own way will u still stay
if i ever have to go will u let me
switchin lanes, if i fall will u help me

you is always on my mind cant believe it
how i tried to make u mine and i reached it
and im still getting high cause i need it
on the surface i am fine, whats beneath it

am i dreaming, girl whats our reason
i try to find myself in here like girl whats my meaning
feel like im sleeping, get low from my feelings
get high to relieve it, i fly and im leaving

i feel no shame, girl im a no name
if i find my own lane will u still stay
im beaten down, and i cry i cant feel shit
then i look into ur eyes and i feel it

u remind me of the good times, u remind me how i used to feel
u get me ridin on some good vibes, u remind me how it used to be
u remind me of the good times shawty give me good vibes bitch is real
u put me in a good mind, shawty give me good highs and its all surreal

no name w/ solonely (prod. lilhappylilsad)

post death

lyrics: 

blood in the sink
i can barely  think
spent a rack last night on my fucking drinks
all i see is money
all i see is red
you can take what you want cause im almost dead

you can tell that im lost i should go to bed
say im fine but im not you should see my head
no i never forgot all the things you said
make it by cause im on all these fucking meds

here to live then to die when my time is spent
i was never alive let me see the lead
how she love me for life when im still a kid
send her home im alone laying in my bed

hit her up then i turn into a ghost
smoke a blunt pour a deuce she tell me i do the most 
fuck you mean sippin lean ashes fallin on my toes
she said baby can you stop before u fall to comatose
thats the point i dont know
why the fuck you always stoppin me
hitting bowls it say no smoking on the public property
feeling wavy when i pour it up i do it properly
feeling drugs and liquors pumping through my fucking arteries

blood in the sink
i can barely  think
spent a rack last night on my fucking drinks
all i see is money
all i see is red
you can take what you want cause im almost dead

you can tell that im lost i should go to bed
say im fine but im not you should see my head
no i never forgot all the things you said
make it by cause im on all these fucking meds

comatose (prod. kōri)

lyrics:

catching up cause she told me we can speak now
i keep my lights on when i sleep now
i keep my phone on when u go out
cause when i fall asleep ur the one i dream bout

brought a black nikon to the beach house
pull my fleece out when i feel the breeze out
used to freak, now ur too busy to go out
throw my dreams out all i do is sleep now

i had it all planned
we could just fall back
onto the couch look at the moon and just smoke up the whole pack

now its all u said i said
whenever u mad im mad
who got the heart on snapchat
if she hit u up dont call back

catching up cause she told me we can speak now
i keep my lights on when i sleep now
i keep my phone on when u go out
cause when i fall asleep ur the one i dream bout

brought a black nikon to the beach house
pull my fleece out when i feel the breeze out
used to freak, now ur too busy to go out
throw my dreams out all i do is sleep now

ur the one i dream bout (prod. mydepression)

@lilhappylilsad @kuroimetsuyu

yt: https://youtu.be/SLIKZXjkIu8

i thought that i had told myself
not to fucking fall in love
now i fucking find myself
singing to you in my songs

im sure im gonna hurt you girl
so you better stay away
know that youre at loss for words
i just dont know what else to say

i dont wanna be
the reason that you bleed
girl you better leave
yeah im trynna make you see

youre better off alone
at least youll still be free
while im smoking weed
for the scars im trynna heal
x2

while i find myself x3
ill never find myself

find myself (prod. kuroime)

that's the dream, all i think about feat. 9TAILS (prod. mikzy)

Ｉ　ＤＯＮ＇Ｔ　ＷＡＮＮＡ　ＢＥ　ＳＯＢＥＲ

//私の時間は終わった//

lyrics

doormat

ＹＯＵ　ＣＡＮ＇Ｔ　ＳＡＶＥ　ＭＥ

//ごめんなさい//

thank you guys so much for the endless amount of support. working with my favorite artists is something i never imagined would become a reality, but you've all made it achievable. i cherish what this music has brought me & i hope we can all grow together in unison through it. i love you guys so much.

this is the first single off my upcoming album, "lacuna" which'll be out october 28th

huge s/o to my mans @i_x_t_a_i_l_s
i can't thank you enough for hoppin' on this one with me

follow 9tails

guardin x 9TAILS - suffocate

produced by @idealismus

this song is completely non profit

lyrics:

ash in my lungs hard to breath
gloss grey m4 two seats
imma hit the gas and rip this fuckin lullaby
im finessing up until the day i gotta die

in the back of the function getting stupid high
could you say that shit again because im hella fried
getting up and socializing would be suicide
i just want a quarter pounder meal, 
but get it supersized
im feeling good tonight 
sitting out back at a friends house
in the deck lights

pool water keep reflecting off the moonglow
tequila shots in the patio
usually the time is slow when its a shit time
but its great and its slo mo

no please no photos
just memories you could see the best view
its the best when you got no one tryna best you
cause they just wishin for the best you

ash in my lungs hard to breath
gloss grey m4 two seats
imma hit the gas and rip this fuckin lullaby
im finessing up until the day i gotta die

ash in my lungs hard to breath
gloss grey m4 two seats
imma hit the gas and rip this fuckin lullaby
im finessing up until the day i gotta die

patio (prod. Idealism)

the reason i'm breathing (prod. sadeyes & Qawi Kamri)

cet album est pour toi

i think its crazy how it came to be, 
i'm really good at makin people run away from me
before i tell you what you mean to me
understand i'm brokenhearted but your love could be my remedy so

take my hand we can fly away,
we can kiss and hug and fuck to take the pain away

take the pain away
take the pain away
take the pain away
take the pain away
(the pain away)

i been fallin, for you girl,
you could be my girl my world
i been fallin, for you girl
you could be my girl my world (x2)

tell me that you love me baby please
i will drive to california just to set your mind at ease
i will love you like there's no one left to please
let me run you outta breath i want your tongue apon my teeth
(i swear to god)

i think its crazy how it came to be, 
i'm really good at makin people run away from me
before i tell you what you mean to me
understand i'm brokenhearted but your love could be my remedy so

take my hand we can fly away,
we can kiss and hug and fuck to take the pain away

take the pain away
take the pain away
take the pain away
take the pain away
(the pain away)

i been fallin, for you girl,
you could be my girl my world
i been fallin, for you girl
you could be my girl my world (x2)

wrote you a song

wrote you a song (p. ocean)

cet album est pour toi

dressed in all black from my head to my toes
and if you call me a faggot i guess that's just how it goes
judge me for my nails, or the music that i listen to
insecure af you really mad that i get bitches too?

i can't give no fucks about opinions all i know is
you can see the brighter side just stop, listen, focus
my dreams are always scary, they're not nightmares tho
nightmares make me sweat, they make me overload

who am i? a lonely guy
i suck at conversation, its not about the language
i've been fluent since creation

its the people acting fine everyday its,
make ur coffee watch the news, 
start your car, then waste away and

every person says hello and then goodbye
and acts okay, never stop and ask the questions like
why are you all the same?

do you ever ask?

ok

my dreams are always scary

my dreams are always scary (introduction)(p. datboidj)

prod @oceanonthebeat

i wanted love
you want a fantasy
i wanted trust
you couldn't handle me

you wanna fuck around
i think i get it now

you wanna ride that guy over clout go head
text me i'm the problem with his hands around your neck
text me i'm dramatic while you open up your legs
for a guy who doesn't care about you he just wanted sex

you're in love with the feeling of feeling used
tell me you hate me like bet that's cool

you don't want the drama you would rather have abuse
you're the reason that i hate myself for trippin over you

i fell for a girl to fast and that's facts
i got problems with attachment i'm losing my fucking grasp
its gettin harder to trust people it all feels like an act
i was starving for a light and now i'm blinded what is that?

i can't trust a soul
i can't feel at all
i can't feel your heartbeat
please don't say you love me

i wanted love
you want a fantasy
i wanted trust
you couldn't handle me

you wanna fuck around
i think i get it now

i cried every night now i sob
i got problems with lovin then movin on
i got problems with stayin all by my lonely like
nathan i miss you like come and hold me tight

i can't help that i can't help you
you want him now he might break you
he might relapse he might reuse
he might love you he can't change you

i can't help that i might love you
you're real nice but i can't trust you
you won't date me i can't make you
walls to strong no way i'll break through

i deserve better (prod. ocean)

lil happy lil sad - can't feel none

produced by @lilsadeyes and @nversad

i was yours, you were mine
i should've known i was wasting your time
i couldn't grow, i wanted to die
now when ever you text me i can't reply

so i guess i'll go get stoned
and wonder why you haven't come back home

i wanna give myself stick n pokes
i wanna laugh so hard i lose my throat

and now i've someone that truly fucking cares
doesn't look the other way when i'm alone or in despair
doesn't act like i'm the reason that my parents wouldn't cope
with the fact that i'm a loser so they left me on my own

she won't leave me in the smoke
when i'm sad alone or broke
she gon keep me on my toes
she gon hold me hella close

she gon be there in the end
when i'm lyin in my bed
she gon tell me how she love me
she could never play pretend

i was yours, you were mine
i should've known i was wasting your time
i couldn't grow, i wanted to die
now when ever you text me i can't reply

so i guess i'll go get stoned
and wonder why you haven't come back home

i wanna give myself stick n pokes
i wanna laugh so hard i lose my throat

and my heart fuckin' bursts
when i'm lookin' at her
she's the one that i need
she's the one i deserve

she's the reason i breathe
she's the reason i heal
she's the one that i want
and that's just how i feel

stick n pokes

prod me <3

lyrics:

i can feel your heartbeat when you fall asleep
there's something nice bout knowing all of you is next to me
and i don't think that there's a single place i'd rather be
honestly, i need you here with me

i need somebody, don't wanna fuck me,
just wanna love me right

i need someone to, need me to come thru,
love me and hold me tight

i need to see it, i need a way to believe it
my feelings will change with the season, make me feel guilty for breathing

and i can't write a single song i'm scared of how it makes her feel,
she hears my song she thinks i'm wrong she's scared that i won't ever heal
i try my best to show you how i love you more and more each day
but understand i'm just a man i'm vulnerable to all the pain

i love you, more than i can put in words
how come no one out there ever told me love would ever hurt

i love you, more than i can put in words
how come no one out there ever told me love would ever hurt

i can feel your heartbeat when you fall asleep
there's something nice bout knowing all of you is next to me
and i don't think that there's a single place i'd rather be
honestly, i need you here with me

happy.

ccddg