important if true chronologically

The great mysteries of our time lie before us, hovering tantalizingly out of reach, so instead we set our sights on the achievable. This week: What happens when flame robots battle garbage? Where's the intersection of George Michael and Matlock? And who brought Jaws to the friendly, rustic murder capital of the world? You may think these questions unanswerable, or barely questions at all. Friend, you may be right—but we'll do our best to pull them apart and see what truths they reveal.

Nick's Endorsement: The CW's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
DVD: http://geni.us/rHkbP8T
iTunes: http://geni.us/ASyyX0t

Chris' Endorsement: Batman (1966)
Blu-ray: http://geni.us/d0OkI2
iTunes: http://geni.us/FtUemSG

Jake's Endorsement: ThruYou by Kutiman
http://geni.us/IOtP4M

Note: Endorsements are merely personal recommendations by us, not paid advertising.

Important If True

Important If True 2: Fight Garbage With Garbage

A researcher has determined that by 2025, if you string all our smart devices together—our Amazon Alexas and always-online talking teddy bears, our color-changing light bulbs and remote-controlled doorknobs—they will have the combined thinking power of 45 human brains. But that raises the question: Who exactly are these 45 brains, and what do they want to tell us? Join us as we find the answer or, failing that, make something up.

Important Reference Materials:Morgan Freeman Turkish Airlines ad (http://geni.us/6zFcChJ), CloudPets hack (http://geni.us/qURy), Furby, Teddy Ruxpin, children loving Alexa (http://geni.us/jhyYRov), Alexa making questionable choices (http://geni.us/RLhN5n), Tomes and Talismans (http://geni.us/YtoO), Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis (http://geni.us/PwGJYyQ)

Chris' Endorsement: The Strange Undoing of Prudencia Hart (http://geni.us/Bht7)

Jake's Endorsement: Witness, starring Harrison Ford (iTunes: http://geni.us/hiV8F, free on Amazon Prime: http://geni.us/5w4bv)

Nick's Endorsement: Finding and frequenting your local neighborhood bar

Important If True 3: The Power of 45 Brains

The road to the truth can take you through some dangerous places, so keep the windows up, the doors locked, and never, ever get out of the car. Or ignore that advice, and follow us down the truth’s seedier and long-forgotten offramps, in search of the really important questions. Like: What happens when your smart house gets a little too smart? Where do those creepy Chuck E. Cheese pizza robots come from? And why is the society depicted in Pixar's Cars a mockery of the living and the dead? 

Important Reference Materials: Goldblum noises, Smart House, Alexa, Blank Check, The Rock-Afire Explosion, carbohydrillium, Disney•Pixar Cars, popes, geological butts 

Chris' Endorsement: Stayfocusd Chrome browser extension 

Jake's Endorsement: Logan 

Nick's Endorsement: Calling your aunt back; or The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild if you just want to buy something and be a consumer

Important If True 4: A Thousand Dormant Machines

Some questions are like an itch you can't scratch, or worse, an itch you can scratch as much as you'd like, but the itch doesn't go away. Today we indulge our compulsions and scratch away at the unscrachable, like: When did George Clooney start showing so much skin? Why does the flu virus really want you to party? And what drew three painters of video game box art to the same back-alley brawl, in the same town, on the same night? We will tread these paths again and again until we discover the truth, or are tricked by our own minds into believing we have. Plus, thanks to a helpful reader, major steps are taken to record for all time the 45 brains that control existence. 

If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon. 

Important Reference Material: self-driving car, self-driving flying car, robots wearing skin, The Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, flu-prompted sociability, Streets of Rage cover art, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Steven Spielberg's early career, 45brains.online

Important If True 5: The Convergence Compulsion

If you could go back to King Arthur times, how would you impress all those medieval idiots? Would you dazzle them with memes? Would they celebrate you, or hoist you? Who's the man, they might ask? Are you the man? Find out, in over 45 minutes of audio content you'll actually want to listen to! 

If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon. 

Discussed: Snapple, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Credit Human, Egg Cuber, meme dreams, Jeff Goldblum, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones DVD release TV spot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6d1dR2170o

Jake's Endorsement: Illinois Institute of Technology fight song 

Chris' Endorsement: shoe horn (approachable normal sized shoe horn: http://geni.us/6lBGf — intimidating weird large shoe horn: http://geni.us/jA3yUJl ) 

Nick's Endorsement: Hot Winter Hot Sauce: http://geni.us/DJam

Also: Listen through to the end for a sneak peek at our new true history miniseries, Something True!

Important If True 6: Get Hoisted

The universe is infinitely complex, filled with unlimited possibilities. To get to the truth we must tear down our preconceptions and ask real questions, like: Why does your friend remember a movie that never existed? How bad of a driver does your car really think you are? And which members of E.T.'s original family were human-pranking assholes? 

Send us email at questions@importantiftrue.com. If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon. 

Discussed: buff bros, pork chops, Cafe X, way-too-smart cars, gyroscopic smart spoon, Hopkinsville Goblin Encounter, E.T. (Amazon, iTunes), The Net (Amazon, iTunes), The Conversation (Amazon, iTunes), the ending to Predator (sorry for the poor quality), the Mandela Effect, 

Jake's Endorsement: Interacting with humans 

Chris' Endorsement: The rapturous reaction to last week's shoehorn endorsement 

Nick's Endorsement: The experience of watching this subway saxophone confluence that occurred on a New York subway train. One must feast on this meal in the proper order: the opening course, followed by the entree. Mwah.

Important If True 7: Human Behavior

Subscribe to Important If True at http://www.importantiftrue.com

The truth often hides just beneath the surface. Especially when that surface is a Furby’s skin, which is also a ghost. So what happens when our children decide they love their robot friends more than us? Before that can happen, how many pounds of spiders would it take to devour us all? Where is the body of Cervantes, and what's it doing? Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Important If True 8: Ghosts 'n Goblins

Important If True 9: Wetzel's Podcasts

You've been given the chance to re-live your life from the start, with everything you know now. A chance to right wrongs, a chance to show them all? Maybe, if you're lucky. A chance—with our help—to really figure out the mysteries of the world that you missed the first time through? Things like: What do roosters have against Swedish labor unions? How did Sinbad hide himself in plain sight, in every child's copy of the movie Kazaam? What was that guy yelling about outside your apartment that one time? What is a "tooth worm?" Definitely. In fact, we just did. Your life wasted, you pursue one final question: Can you re-live your life from the start, knowing absolutely none of this? 

Send us email at questions@importantiftrue.com. If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IdleThumbs

Discussed: ugh... "memes", Swedish labor union screaming rooster, Nick Breckon overhearing a disaster, psychic billionaire baby, John Titor, Early Edition, beautiful medieval teeth, tooth worm, Kazaam/Shazam, First Kid trailer on the Kazaam VHS 

Nick's Endorsement: Boston Cooler (Vernor's Ginger Ale over vanilla ice cream) 

Chris' Endorsement: Buckwheat tea, aka soba tea 

Jake's Endorsement: Late Night Work Club animated short films

Important If True 10: The Rooster's Stupid Secret

Learning something new can feel like someone flipped on a lightswitch in your mind. If that person in your mind could flip the switch off and on whenever they wanted, controlling which things you remember and which you forget, we hope you’d hold onto these thoughts: Why is the Genie from Aladdin afraid of commitment? Did a fourth grader create the world of Banjo-Kazooie, and what grade did he get for it? And, did I just get here, or is that guy with the lightswitch controlling my brain again? We’ll get to the bottom of it, assuming we can remember to.

Important If True 11: The Purity of a Child's Boredom

One day you open the photos app on your cell phone and find it's identified and categorized all of your best friends. Why look, there's a whole album of Chris playing Jurassicanji. Do you know someone named Chris? And there's your buddy Herbert. You don't recognize him, but your phone does, so you go with it. It even correctly sorted all of your anthropomorphic candy friends -- including the skinless ones. But why does it think the genie from Aladdin is also this disheveled man covered in dirt? And it has the new Jaws, but why doesn't it have the old Jaws? How is it saying this chicken is a dinosaur? And why is it confusing your dad with a werewolf? We're out of ideas, but we'll be happy to pass you on to a support manager. Please enjoy this podcast while you hold.

Chris' Endorsement: Review (TV Series)

Nick's Endorsement: Actually get a flu shot.

Jake's Endorsement: Cybernetic memory enhancement

Important If True 12: Once You Start, You Can't Stop

Important If True 13: "Veggie" Panino and the Nightmare Puzzler

Important If True 14: Your Worst Nightmare

Important If True 15: Sexual Sneezing

We cannot sanction your buffoonery. But we can, and will, personally hand-deliver your questions to Lord Hoistmas. Questions like: What is the true secret of the real 90s? How do you cleverly cover up an regrettable tattoo? And would you eat the best pizza you've ever had in your life if it came with bees?

Important If True 16: The Pizza, the Bee, and the Trash Can

Important If True 17: What Dreams Are Dumb

Important If True 18: Important If Rhymes With True

The most deeply important questions on your minds, advised and distilled by us. This week: Why are genies skeptical of your perfect wish to save mankind from itself? Does a robot that eats and poops have a favorite food? Does it feel shame? Is it you? And is there anything more nostalgic than getting the chicken pox from some kid's homemade slime?

Important If True 19: Pearls Before Slime

If you had the ultimate power of suggestion over your friends, but only when mumbling while pretending to sleep, how would you use it? Will a coterie of highly specialized Christmas spirits put Santa out of a job? Why die alone on Mars when you can watch someone else do it from your living room couch? Answers to these questions and the rest of life's mysteries, coming to your theater this summer.

important if true chronologically

Johan Malmgren 1