Dive Bar Comedy is back at Liquid Zoo with another great lineup of comics performing for a rowdy late night crowd and talking behind the scenes with hosts GT and Wild Jo. Emcee Mista See keeps it raunchy, as always.

Dive Bar Comedy - Ep. 40: Nick Kaminsky, Tom Ayers, Debbie Montgomery, and Dana

GT and Mista See interview comic Danny Arguelles about his prior life as a high fashion male model turned stay-at-home dad. The show continues with standup Hannah Canetti.

Dive Bar Comedy - Ep. 41: Hannah Canetti and Danny Arguelles

I love to have you all alone.
You know just how to make me moan.
You take me to the danger zone,
And leave me on the edge.

You’ve got the touch.  You’ve got the moves.
You’ve got me feeling hot for you.
And even just the thought of you
Can really make me wet.

Now, I don’t know if you’d be right 
For business meetings, cocktail nights.
Yeah, all I know’s your body’s tight
And feels good next to mine.

Oh, can I take you out with me,
Cuz you’d be such good arm candy,
And all I really wanna be
Is sexy to the nines.

I’m hot.  I’m fly.
I exercise
My natural right
To choose my guy.

Can I floss you?  Can I show you off?
Can you stand by me and just look hot?
Can I trust you not to hurt my rep,
Or should I just keep you in bed?

I’m getting slick to party down.
I’m gonna have my friends around.
We’ll hit the hottest spots in town
And really make a splash.

We’re looking right from head to toe.
The cameras snap wherever we go.
We’re slipping past the velvet rope
And heading to the back.

Now, I’m not trying to be mean,
But, boy, I go out to be seen,
And I can’t have you doing things

Keep U N Bed

Johanna Petree / Elisa Jordana duet, produced by Luke Walker

Maserati Boyz

Hey boy, I know I've been shy, but I gotta tell you baby, you're deep in my mind.

Boy, I got a crush on you, no it can't be wrong,
Cuz it makes me wanna sing this dirty rap song,
Cuz your body's tight, and so's your ass.
I'm staring at it all the time in yoga class.
Yeah, I check you out in downward dog.
I like the way you hang your dong.
No, but seriously, I couldn't catch a glance.
Why you covering your willy with those baggy pants?

Laying on our back in shevasana
Makes me wanna roll up on top of ya,
Mix up our auras in a sexy stew,
Put my third eye on your chakra 2,
Take a deep breath straight from your mouth,
Then blow it, blow it, blow it out.
Work me up and down from behind
In YOGA POSITION 69. 

Yoga Position 69 - Johanna Petree

He's got amazing eyes. 
His smile takes the prize.
But he's addicted to the television set.
Now that he lost his job,
He watches all he wants,
But you don't mind because he's really good in bed.

He can only make you happy for 20 minutes at a time,
Then you gotta buy him dinner, cuz he ain't got a dime.
Wanna have your girlfriends over? Well, first you better call a maid.
He's been leaving crusty stuff all over your place.

Chorus:
Don't fall in love with a loser.
Girl, choose better.
Don't fall in love with a loser,
Cuz you'll lose the biggest.
Girl, forget it.

Your new guy's really suave,
And yes, he's got a job.
He's making money and he's having lots of fun.
The women think he's fine.
He shows them all good times.
Still, you believe him when he tells you you're the one.

When he picks you up for dinner, he shows up with another babe.
If it really is his sister, then why'd she touch his leg?
Maybe you came in a limo, but now you better bum a ride,
Unless you wanna have a threesome later tonight.

Chorus

Uh oh, another day, a month, a year is gone.
You're holding on.
Uh oh, you're giving up the things you used to want.
Move on girl.

Chorus

Don't Fall in Love with a Loser

Kissing Your Picture

I can’t stop thinking about you.
I see your body and it turns me on.
The things I wanna do, I shouldn’t even say it,
But I’m gonna tell you anyway.

Wanna get you on the couch, in the car,
In the bath, on the bar,
On the living room floor.

Wanna feel you with your hands on my waist,
And your tongue in the place
You’ve been craving for.

Let you know how to give me the pain
That’ll drive me insane,
Make me beg for more.

Just the thought of it is making me hot,
All the sex that we got
In store.

Oh we gotta make it happen.
I don’t wanna be slacking on this fantasy.
Oh we gotta figure this out,
Cux I don’t wanna miss out on this fantasy.
Oh we, oh we.

Wanna feel you throw it down, fill it up,
From the side, from the top,
Even from the behind.

Gonna love it when the sweat starts to drip,
And you’re grinding your hips
In between my thighs.

Don’t you know that I like when it’s rough,
And it’s never too much 
Til you blow my mind.

I been hoping that this sounds good to you,
Cuz I just wanna do 
You right.

Oh we gotta make it happen.
I don’t wanna be slacking on this fantasy.
Oh we gotta figure this out,
Cux I don’t wanna miss out on this fantasy.
Oh we, oh we.


johannapetree