VERSE1
yeah
start my car, im driving off to the sunset
thinking to myself, why i aint giving up yet?
all this hopes and dreams just make me upset, 
but fuck it imma chase that bitch until i drop dead
my inner peace is not that calm, i want the world on my palm and drop bombs like napalm
see me like an enemy, but treat me respectfully
dont wanna friendly shit unless u wanna be dead to me
if this life is a game, i wanna turn to the monster
i dont fuck with the protagonist, i want me to prosper
if you see me with your bitch, su casa me casa
if i see you with my bitch, youll end up in the crossfire
no tricks gon play on me 
remember i wanted to be on mtv (yeah)
this shit is gonna be the death of me
if i aint making that dough like, ceelo green bitch

VERSE2
yeah im coming back, yo listen
my road to success is all that i see
im fragile, im scared, i put my heart on my sleeves
this whole world is fucked up
cant nobody see, 
i live my life thinking that nobody better than me
im screaming, fuck the world
im screaming, fuck the world
i got no time in this world, to live with this curse
i got, 99 problems but a bitch still one, 
but if i leave her ass now, you know that bitch still won
i got more, ideas than phinnes n ferb
you see me building pyramids
painting pictures of birds
solving mathematical equation by just moving the words
aint no rocket science but my rocket be carrying your girl 
and all this time ive been terrified
i got this bars n raps that i set aside
all you fucks that made me fucking petrified
god with me, all of you bitches gonna pay the price

chorus
shake my head cuz really im not feeling u
shake my head cuz i dont wanna be ridiculed
shake my head cuz really im not feeling u
yeah uh
shake my head cuz really im not feeling u
shake my head cuz i dont wanna be ridiculed
shake my head cuz really im not feeling u
shake my fucking head

Smh (demo)

Yeah, we speeding down the hill 
Play the jazz, Im surrounded by the feels, really hope It heals
My ego on some other shit,
State of mind going crazy, lately I just really want to chill
How about a couple mills, for me to go pack a deal

Sign me up so I can pay the bills
For my family and the ill
Indonesia is my home, 
Born there and Im sorry I never made it real
Coming out of war, where my people killed

Evil almost got us killed
Sickening that our people had hate in them filled
Hate towards the brothers n sisters from the land they built
Speaking of hate, let me be clear

Love is the opposite and let me fulfil 
My quest, the root of all evil still banging in my chest
Jealousy is all that love requests 

But Im very blessed
To have a girl right next to me
Her love is my ecstacy 
Then I fall asleep
and I spiral down in deep

Existential crisis, I hate this, 
why is it making me anxious 
Why 
Why can’t I understand this
But I know its something bigger than me 

So I pray and pray, to god everyday
To see better days, let me stay away
From being an easy prey, 
the days are gray

Time is running out, but time is an immortal enemy
Thats why I try to squeeze out every bit of life in me
So I could see, a future with my family
And won’t regret on it so hard I invest in a time machine

So I calm my mind
Put some beats on and spit my rhymes, til I get the illest line
Try about a hundred times
But every time I listen to it, I re-do it
Til it really shines
Society n me are not alike

Friends who say the love you but it is a lie
I could never understand how they could act like a spy
Really wanted to cry, yeah.

So its me against the world 
Therapy session, 
I must be accepting that life got some curves 
Even though I dislike it, Im not a psychic 
My ups are coming and thats what I deserve

So Im patiently waiting
Happiness Is what Im chasing 
Mentality is maintaining 
I see myself as a changing
Person, making 
negative energy to positive energy 
And thats what Im creating  

I informed you briefly
About my situation yet you seem to busy
I never had it easy
Thats why music is my therapy

Therapy

This the astronaut
Im flying through space with an apricot 
And my girl who dance a lot
We live in a world
Full of people passing shots 
Livin life like criminals aint even half as hot
So be or not to be  
Thats what I ask alot 
Theres your food for thoughts 
Go give me your afterthoughts
The system doesnt care if you give em half the plot 
Life gon make sure that the other halfs get robbed

Boom Bap
Got slapped on my back
I pray for my mama
That she gon get her life back
And while im at it I wanna pray for my life too
Cuz what am I gon do when my mama cant tie own shoe
Oh 
Life is so damn cruel 
I suppose we as humans dont have the slightest of clue 
We are supposed to be living life in a systemic right way
But really we livin strife and we are doomed

She appears 
She appears in my life 
Like a dreaam

INTERLUDE

So when the dawn is upon
Us beings walking like some pawns
We bow our heads to the gods
We blame eachother for frauds
Media is pushing us to living large 
With bags of money and a full sized garage
So when that day is coming
I hope you still be sane and you save some money
Even though we came from nothing and life felt like shoving 
Us away
Just remember I will still be loving
you..

Thoughts

Lately i’ve been lazy taking my phone up, 
Scared of growing up, hate the fact that u and dad never could hold up 
Its all fucked,
Now I’m sitting here, wiping my tears, holding back my feelings, thinking 'bout those golden years 

I feel like god, put me in a spot
Where I needed to choose, whichever side that I got
i see now that I chose wrong, I should’ve just tag along
Im sorry mom, I picked the wrong spot

Hope u can forgive me, I didn’t do a lot
But you was always with me, deep inside my heart
fucking hate the feeling, that our life just got robbed
By stupid arguments inside the family, but our memories will always be

Fun times, uh,
Tough times, uh
Even with the rain, there was sunshine uh
How did I forget about the good times uh
Like the first time u cut my hair I cried uh

And now i’m thinking back at it, I realise I should bring back the accident where u and dad was going at it,
No one ever spoke about it, 
at this point, can we even talk about it

So, bring it back to the start
I pick up the phone, call u up, and tell u both to try and talk
its not fucked up
Im just fucked up
been living in my own sorrows, its been eating me from the inside out

and its driving me crazy
feel like, since a child, my depression raised me
even my fucking people stopped seeing me lately 
I am a walking monster, everybody hates me

Who needs people anyway
Ive got this rope ready for me any day, fuck what anybody say
stop me or stomp me, you better back away
The day i'm gone is ur fucking Christmas Day 
keep ur distance, Jay

I know ur mind heavy,
and now ur mine baby, 
U can try to escape all u want, sexy
But this body’s mine, so lets fucking jump already 
And end this fucking story, fuck

prod: zer0music

Johan Siswana

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