as far as i know

as far as i know this bird singing doesn’t sing for my pleasure
it’s within our both being itself makes me treasure that song
along with this longing not to feel just a part so apart
alone from the start not at one with the world one atones
this loss this feeling no appeal in appeal with a birdsong
tainted with reminder of ones fated and solitary journey
to that final finale hoped for birdsong-departure ones finitude
primordial sense in a moment’s descent says love-your-fate
learnt so late yet it’s never too late to create some new destiny
beyond what’s departed all those years now left far behind one
to run into oneself as a stranger you had known all along
to become-who-you-are as a love song or birdsong grown older
as-above-so-below bolder flight with none to pretend to
a birdsong might find one to sing to and in singing intend through

© john william brown 30 October 2022

as far as i know

Armistice Day 1918
(from ‘Fragments of Fragments’)


I set up me periscope, high as I could
And saw... one tree... In leaf ...In Hanger Wood,
Golden-ochre! ...Somehow survived...amazed, just how it could…


Eleventh Hour.  Eleventh Day... and ..  Month...
Slowly... ...We all appear... Ghosts - From the pits…
It’s all ...So ...Quiet... We’re shocked... We’re stunned.
Can’t believe we can stand up ... And not ...be hit…


Everyone is numb. An anti-climax too,
As if we’ve gone too far to take this in.
We’re drained. There’s no emotion. Dumb - Done in.
No songs. No cheers. Just silence. Through and through…


I should be feeling happy... but..I don’t.
I think of all the slaughter ...all the ... waste...
I’ve been here almost from the start, this place.
It’s been my, Home ... for far too long... yet, I won’t
Forget. This stretch of land ...so drenched in... ...The cost...
The suffering, the slaughter... ...the friends ... lost…


Once... I plucked a poppy...from this parapet...
So red against vast blue... ... ... no... ...I shan’t forget,
I pressed it for that love I lost in death…


(Fragments of Fragments - A play in 100 sonnets)
© john william brown 2014 (2022)

Armistice Day 1918

Departure of the Prodigal Son
Poem by Rainer Maria Rilke
Read by John William Brown
Image: 'Departure of the Prodigal Son'
© John William Brown 2006

John William Brown 1