The past repeats only what it sees, between a blink and a dream.
beneath this freeze, displeased I breath my disease so sweet.
I'm filling the void of gluttony with my own suffering.
Entrusting my recovery with those who never loved me
Everything routinely falls around me, helps me to see beyond my boundaries. And yet the punishment's the same.
Pain keeps me from what surrounds me, helps me to see beyond my boundaries, and yet the punishment's the same.
To my own disbelief, I retrieve the strength to speak of these things their compiling against me. Misery stays near me while joy seems to fear me, receding into places I was never meant to see. While the world holding this body doesn't want me, finds me questioning my reasoning, but why should this stop me. I've been here since the end and I brought the beginning. Now darkness found a friend and relief is just a theory.

Glutton For Punishment

Another collab with High Watt Studios, big thanks to Jared for producing the music and the idea!

So Whatcha Want Cover

I hear the silence control us
the scream's a whisper now
the voice of opposition will be forced underground. they'll round up the dissonance. I won't go quiet, and I'm not going to beg for you to give me back what's mine, for you to say I have no right.
it's obvious by now what lies behind the smile you put on to lead the blind. 
Bring the innocent to their demise. 
Break the feedback,  free your mind. 
from silent weapons for a quiet war. we're sewing the seeds of our own destruction. buying the rope that we will be hung from. trading for safety, our very freedoms. No more illusions about the agenda.

When The First Fails - rough draft

Music by Barry Gestwicki 
Lyrics by Tim Falke, Tony Kemp, and John Runyan

So much pain, not knowing where to put it
A burning shame devours me inside
And my one regret is I should have been there when you were calling out.
I heard your voice failing as your demons tore you down 
I see dark skies ahead of us

I wont say goodbye. Cause you've given me the reason I need to fight.
I know your still by my side. I feel you over there waiting in the light.

your pain is over, mine's just begining.
It remindes me that we all have our demons to fight.
In death all your lessons come to life

There's still a part of me, reaching out for you. 
Driving me to be the understanding truth
Enbrace the struggle to carry on. 
To focus on what we have left
I'll take your lessons with me
And I won't forget, until we meet again
When I see you on the other side my  friend 

I feel the pain that, you left me here with
and now I'm Running from a Ghost I can't esCape your grip 
It's not the same now, I feel your spirit
Like you were standing right beside me like you never left 
I can't exlain how it's not supposed to end like this. 
A clenched fist pounding til the skin is split
I scream your name but nothing changes it's just emptiness 
peering into darkness and it seems like there's no end to it.


Do you remember when we found our destiny? 
We saw the stars align like it was meant to be, I saw the light in your eye spark a fire in me
As the years went by that dream would fade away.
Its such a slow decline, you never really see. then one day you find your something you were never meant to be.
But I don't want to remember you that way.
Did you forget about the monster you kept locked inside a cage. We finally let it out
When we all stepped up on the stage.
Then came the reckoning, we found the real you and me.
An overwhelming sound that came from yesterday. that burn has left a scar and a bitter memory  
We held the dream so tight, we squeezed the life from its veins
The hotter the fire, the faster it all burns away.  
So I'll take these memories both good and bad, and use them to live Amidst the horror. 

When I felt that cut tear through my veins, a part of me fell into the flames.

Amidst The Horror

Careless

This is a song I wrote about how all my works are filthy rags compared to the work done on the cross by the king of kings

lyrics:
All my sacrifice was nothing
none add up to what you've done for me
my eyes have seen enough to believe
that your grace is all that I really need

and I would suffer to follow you until the grave
I'm willing to give up anything

cause we can't outrun eternity
and we can't hide the way we mislead
sooner or later it all catches up with us
sooner or later we all confess his name

and what can I offer 
my life for your sake
speak to your servant cause I'm listening

Worthy of Suffering

The old self must die to live as a new creation.

Opening The Arsonal

This is about the cover-up. What they did was Simply Murder.

Simply Murder

This is about a conversation that I had with my best friends mother, years after he left this world. collaborated with my man Anthony on guitar. great job, buddy!

Dirge

This is about watching the arc of a great mans life and dealing with the aftermath.
in collaboration with my man Ryan, your riff slap, bro!

Death Of A Giant

This song is about facing the end. In collaboration with Syn-Tient 

Mortal Coil

this song is about recognition of my flaws and how I need redeemed by my savior, because I couldn't do it.

Reborn demo1

I'm John Runyan, I grew up playing in rock and metal bands in various positions. I played bass for Pyst, Slynt and One Cut Closer. I eventually became the front man for One Cut while also filling in as front man and rhythm guitarist for cover band, Damaged Goods. I also played solo acoustic gigs for a while. after One Cut Closer broke up I decided to go to school for audio engineering and LCC in Parsons KS. That is where I met my wife Jamie and we started a family and moved to the KC area in 2012 where I worked as an FOH engineer for the Beaumont Club until it shut down. At that time I transitioned into an IT career. Music took a back seat but has always been part of the ride. The story takes a bit of a curve when in October, 2019 my best friend, mentor, guitarist of my first 3 bands, and all around inspirational bro, Barry Gestwicki passed away, shortly before his 35th birthday.  losing Barry was a crushing blow but I have decided that I won't let it stop me. He passed me the torch and I'm going to run with it.  I'm currently doing some online collaborations offering services as a  rock and metal vocalist. if you're interested in collaboration, hit me up!

JohnmRunyan

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