Death Be Not Proud

The Hollow Men

A New Beginning

Against The Tides

I... I'm so sorry.

Album out, now:
Spotify: goo.gl/PdPVYh
Bandcamp: goo.gl/HGp7eY
iTunes et al: goo.gl/U1gQ34

Reminiscence

Vocal excerpt (Against The Tides)

PRS CE-24 solo excerpt

A song written by my good friend Caleb Scheller, and featuring him on the vocals. I pitched in for tracking the guitars and arrangement. Also, the game.

thall

Away From Home

Kick Sample

Anatomy

A Rose For Her

Song Of Innocence- Such Were The Joys

Download: https://deathbenotproud.bandcamp.com/album/legend-of-zelda-suite

(listen in 144p to hear tabs)
  Hi all, this is a short 12 second arrangement I recorded from the ground up of some of the music as heard on the best-selling video game series made by the almighty Square-Enix called "League of Warcraft," as played by many on the Sega X-Box 64. I tried to utilize a fairly decent variety of music from almost all of the Zelda games, instead of simply spamming stuff solely from amazing CD-i games, I'm afraid- that is what all true warriors strive for, mah boi.
Anyways, here it is in full and I hope you enjoy. Well excuse me, princess.

You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?
-John
facebook.com/johnucolmusic


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Legend Of Zelda Suite

A crude attempt at covering a Killswitch Engage song, recorded with a potato. I... I'm so sorry.

The Arms Of Sorrow

These are some outtakes, bloopers, and other things I compiled from a song written awhile back by my good friend Caleb Scheller, and featuring him on the vocals. I pitched in for tracking the guitars and arrangement. Also, the game.
thall
-John

Away From Home (Outtakes)

Isolated

Hi, all

Here's a quick upload of some drum tones that I made using Toontrack's Superior Drummer kits. In this case, I blended the Avatar (not to be confused with that Pocahontas film comprised of blue people, or with that kid who fought the Fire Nation), Metal Foundry kits, and some stuff w/ Kontakt.
 I have done much of the mixing outside either using external plugins, which makes simply sharing the preset pretty much useless. Also, there is a basic master chain on the mix bus to achieve some loudness for this particular clip. Those aside- here it is, hope you don't enjoy. Also, the game.

-John

The MIDI is Day 69 by Decapitated

Drum Tone Test

Stigma

3 part vocal harmony spam. I... I'm so sorry.

Shure SM7 Vocal Demo

I made a quick mix test using a custom singlecut guitar built for me, outfitted with some Bare Knuckle Pickups.
The music here is a small excerpt of a joke song I wrote for my friends called WingGo and Chill part II, though it's transposed for a six string guitar this time. I... I'm so sorry.

-John

full song: Johnucol – Winggo-old-fashioned-armflap-and-chill-suite-ii
builder info: www.instagram.com/shawguitars/
pickup info: www.bareknucklepickups.co.uk/pickups/humbucker

Singlecut + BKP test

Why do I listen to my friends Pt. 1.

Did this passage in one take, and tried to use a Texan/Southern accent with a Shure SM7b, for once. Also, what am I doing with my life...

Wimganum Lemosa (Reading/Shure SM7b test)

PRS Custom 24 solo excerpt

I was encouraged by my friends to believe it. Unfortunately, I ended up hacking this up, instead.

I... I'm so sorry. Also, the game.

-John
http://fb.com/johnucolmusic

Closer

The plot of this video:
"Okay, how does this look on me, guys?" Aerith said as she stood in front of a mirror with a yellow sun dress on. "It looks really cute!" Yuffie said through a wide smile. "Yea, yellow really matches you. It looks as cute as a button on you." Tifa said nicely as she nodded her head. "Cute?" Aerith repeated.

Aerith wasn't shopping for cute clothes. She wanted something sexy and mature. "Okay, I'll just get something else" she said to herself. She quickly walked to the clothes rack and skimmed through until she saw something that was sexy and mature. After putting the dress on, Aerith was once again in front of the mirror waiting for what her friends thought of the dress.

Yuffie, Tifa, and Aerith all examined the dress carefully. It was a soft red lace, embroidered by small flowers. Its bosom was heart shaped causing her breast to be lifted. The dress was held up by a strap that was tied around her neck creating a bow. Her back was completely exposed. The dress was very form fitting around the waist but was loose around her hips and legs. It went about 4 inches above her knees with a slit to the side.

"So?" Aerith said nervously. "It's a pretty dress, Aerith." Tifa began, "But isn't it, well..." Tifa stuttered. "What? Is it what?" Aerith asked worriedly. Yuffie jumped in and spoke, "It's kinda sexy." Aerith's face lit up with happiness. "It is!" Aerith proclaimed as she clasped her hands together. "Why are you happy about that?" both the girls asked. "What do you mean? I want to look sexy." Aerith's voice was happy but trailed off, " I wanna look sexy don't I?"


I'm going to make a movie following the life of a man, traveling the world in search of himself after the loss of his true love. He never tells anyone who he is, only that he goes by JC. As the movie progresses, he goes around the world doing good deeds and changing people's lives. In the end, he's diagnosed with a terminal illness and as he lay in the hospital bed, all the people he helped come to visit him. At one point, there are more than a dozen people there with him in the room. They all know that his time is near. No one is speaking, as the camera pans across their faces, some happy to be with such a great man, right up to the end, others in tears to see such a saint being taken so early. At last, a child in the room asks him, "Sir, you've helped us all so much. Please, tell us who you are!"
After a long pause, the man draws one last breath, and with his final words, he says 
"I'M JOHN CENAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Roll credits.

Every time I play The Sims, I start my family with a painting goblin. I make him/her morbidly obese with green skin. I make sure to give him the following traits: likes to be alone, likes art, hates the outdoors. The first thing I do, once I have enough money, is build a small room in the basement, send him down there, and then remove the stairs. I set him up in a tiny little area with only an easel, a toilet, a refrigerator, a bed, a shower, and a trash bin.
All he does all day is paint. That’s it. He paints and paints and paints and paints. Eventually his paintings become very good and worth a lot of money. Every few minutes I go downstairs and sell whatever painting he has finished, and then I return to playing the game. My family always ends up feeling blessed because of their fortune, and they never find out about the horrible secret living beneath their home.
It's 3 am. You awake in a panic. You're wasting your life? You're alone? relax. You're totally insignificant & you'll die soon. Enjoy Arby's.

Nihilist Arby's Excerpt

Song Of Passing

(note: could't quite fit in the entire song title due to Soundcloud's character limit. The full name is “WingGo Motorcycle Thall And Chill Suite- Flexcam Leviosahh Arm Flap Actually Is Dolan Thumper Gavebuggy Eurotraining Bigger Longer Uncut Smooth and Chunky YouTube Poop Edition- Also The Game. Good Job. Don’t Do It Again”

Hi all,

This is a short joke song I wrote and recorded with a potato after taking on such a challenge from some friends, so apologies in advance if the lyrical flow makes little to no sense at all. That being said, sing along if you know the words!

Do not enjoy,
-John

__________


I’m the president

Hey guys, where are my sparring videos at?
That question will be answered this Sunday night at the WWE Super Slam with John Cena.

Oh it’s leviosahhh, oh stop it Ron, stop. Nice. Not you.
It’s fine. It’ll fit, digitally arm flap gavebuggy

You just lost the game. I… I’m so sorry. (It’s fine)

I was in the process of making something, I had to stop it. I had to cut it short, I’ve cut your ticket price short.

I’m as tall as a skyscraper. Wimganum Lemosa.

I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence. This is my swamp. (it’s fine)

Caleb sleeps with a nightlight.  No need to overanalyze. It is what it is. 
Is it smooth, or is it chunky? 420 blaze it.

Arby’s for lunch. Arby’s for dinner in this fetid hellscape. There are no winners.
Arby’s tomorrow. Arby’s today.
Nothing’s certain but death and decay.
Noitce me, senpai.

When Flexcam was Mark for Bae (I didn’t say stop), Thumper’s kicking the air, again. (Also, the game.)
Believe it. The letter, “H.” RABBIT FOOD. (It’s fine.)

하지마  Hajima. Whiskey Dick. Eurotraining. Tiggerchode1. Africanfest and chill. Lik a somebodee fak u bic

I was in the process of making something, I had to stop it. I had to cut it short, I’ve cut your ticket price short. And when I prepare for solo tours- if I prepare at all. I’m in there and no one’s coughing. And I can do things. I can actually play things.
This reminds me of a tour I did in Europe. They hated Americans, there.

You destroyed the bathroom so I wasn't going in there.
I just can’t stand sitting.

 Thall is thall.

Just do it. Don’t let your dreams become memes. Motorcycle thall. Jet fuel can’t melt dank memes. Eurotraining.

Never gonna you up, never let you down, never run around and desert you.
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

You destroyed the bathroom. Taco Bell does that. You should have picked a different place for our anniversary date.

This is your life. This is your time. It’ll be all right, you’re going to shine. Second chance, a brand new day. Don’t give up, you’ll find a way. So take a deep breath and close your eyes. This is your life, you’re going to shine. This is your life. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

Delete System32. Puff the magic dragon blaze it, it’s fine. Sean’s a 5th degree orange belt.~ and I am actually a white belt. Believe. That is *thall.

Keep it in play. Pushups and chill. Splits and chill. It’s fine. Good job. Don’t do it again.~

WingGo Motorcycle Thall & Chill Flexcam Leviosahh Arm Flap Actually Is Dolan Thumper Gavebuggy...

Hi all,

This is another short joke song I wrote and recorded with a potato after taking on such a challenge from some friends, so apologies in advance if the lyrical flow makes little to no sense at all. This part two, for what it's worth. That being said, sing along if you know the words!

Do not enjoy,
-John

(note: could't quite fit in the entire song title due to Soundcloud's character limit. The full name is “WingGo Old Fashioned Armflap and Chill Suite II This Time It's Personal Wimganum Lemosa It's Fine Gavebuggy Rabbit Food Dank Memes Why Do I Listen To My Friends Eurotraining I'm The President Believe It Daisuki Onii-Chan Senpai Thall”


______________________________
Don’t question the instructor.

DunDun, A E S T H E T I C it’s your move. Something something I forgot I forgot indubitably spam.
Flexcam, don’t lie, I don’t lie. Started a food fight. I’m not high enough to watch this video.

I’m free tonight if you want to come lover.
Over. Please read that as over.
Dear God what have I done?
Best typo ever. Sent to the worst person. You’ll always be the elbow to my chest.

Strip the flesh, salt the wound.
Hit that mofo. That’s rough buddy.

I’ve thallen and I can;t get up. But  like SMH. The trade. Caleb’s nightlight is broken.
Arm flap, don’t die. Why do I hang out with you guys? I question, my life’s decisions. 
It’s fine. Sean feels weird.

Bacon, can’t go wrong with bacon.
Pandulce en mi culo.
We’re the black team. Also the trade.
Elizabeth had a nice ass.

Bae is a CL running around the ring, I’m selling my rune scimmy. Eurotraining.

I’m free tonight if you want to come lover.
Over. please read that as over 
dear God what have I done?
Best typo ever. Sent to the worst person. You’ll always be the elbow to my chest.

Brittany speaks only in hiccups.
More OCD triggers= Imma punch you this summer.
Gilligan lied about her age. 
The one who squealed like a girl wasn’t Flexcam at all.
’Twas instead the one who owes the football.
Use my hand like the old fashioned way.
More Boat karaoke, good job don’t do it again.

No conversation is sacred with you. I’m so disappointed in thall of you. 

I’m free tonight if you want to come lover.
Over. Please read that as over.
Dear God what have I done?
Best typo ever. Sent to the worst person. You’ll always be the elbow to my chest.

Didn't mean to send Candy crush invites to everyone. Did you really have to pee in my bed?

Hit that mofo. That’s rough, buddy.
Could you not? Tiggerchode1.
Thall is thall. You just lost the game.

WingGo Old Fashioned Armflap and Chill Suite II This Time It's Personal Senpai Thall

I... I'm so sorry.

Album out, now:
Spotify: https://goo.gl/PdPVYh
Bandcamp: https://goo.gl/HGp7eY
iTunes et al: https://goo.gl/U1gQ34

incomplete rough demo/test clip

Duncan Hills Coffee

Recorded a song from the ground up, originally by one of my favorite progressive metal bands- Symphony X.

Do not enjoy.

Evolution (The Grand Design)

Pokemon Theme

Terminator Theme

Hello, I'm John. I periodically post my musical endeavors and attempts on this page.

New album out now: https://goo.gl/U1gQ34

John Ucol

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