A nice little Weezer-esque tune about fancying a girl who doesn't believe the Holocaust was, y'know, a thing.

Chicken Farmer EP

She's a Holocaust Denier

A ska-ish song about once and future Republican Senator Lyin' Ted Cruz

On the Edge of Darkness Falls

Lyin' Ted

A sad song about a dead-end hamlet in Co. Durham

Evenwood Gate

Kimber

In John's Bedroom

My Heart Will Go On

Dirty Little Secret (cover)

2004.

I use to drink with two or three old blokes down the Black Bull in Warkworth. They all called me, in turns, either a "piece of shit" or a homo. Fair craic.

I knew *nothing* then. Nothing at all. And, I mean, I know very little now, but - Christ - what a floppy little wally I was.

A Comprehensive Sex Education

Floppy The Wonderboy

1999.

My Sex Education class consisted of the teacher saying "Right, lads....write down as many words for cock as you can in 2 minutes".

Sex Education

Cigarette Smoker Of The Year

A love song about a teenage girl from Arkensaw getting catfished by a man with a Ganondorf avatar.

Sexual Dreams Of Ganondorf

The Only One He Ever Feared

In Jessica's Room

Dying Wish

Love, Be A Vulture Tonight (part one)

She Won't Take No For An Answer

How To Turn A Light On

Christian Girlfriend

King Of The Bad Ideas

Pegasus Wing

Love, Be A Vulture Tonight (part two)

3rd in line to the Warkworth Barony.

Likes chickens.

John Whitaker the 3rd

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks