From Playground (sleaze and silliness)
05 12 - Run, Run Away

Walking down the street last night I couldn't help but see
some scary creatures dressed in suits and ties were chasing me.
I have to run, run away, for ever ever ever disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

I was walking in the morning light and then I took the bus
without a ticket or a stop. So what's that telling us?
I have to run, run away, for ever ever ever disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

I read some notes I had written a few years ago,
I got a loan, I paid it back, it was no quid pro quo.
I have to run, run away, far away disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

I'm keeping up to date with what is what and who is who,
I'm going through the motions in an endless deja vu.
I have to run, run away, for ever ever ever disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

My furniture has vanished in a steam of salmon red,
there are letters on the floor and ants that walk the paper bed.
I have to run, run away, for ever ever ever disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

I'm battered and bruised in a slightly awkward spot
and my doctor is busy and can't open a slot.
I have to run, run away, far away disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

--------------------

I've got an evil twin but I don't really keep in touch,
my female friends who've met him though say that he's quite a catch.
I have to run, run away, for ever ever ever disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

The moral of the story is that the recipe of success
is an outfit half a uniform and half a fancy dress.
I have to run, run away, for ever ever ever disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

There's a little machine on the soles of my feet
and it measures the time and it gauges the heat.
I have to run, run away, far away disappear,
I have to run, run away, I've got to (got to) get me out of here.

I'm living by the seaside in a place no-one recalls,
there is a beach, there is a floor and in between the walls.
I had to run, run away, for ever ever ever disappear,
I had to run, run away and no-one (no-one no-one no-one
no-one no-one no-one no-one
no-one no-one no-one) knows
I'm here.

(from album 4, silliness) - Run, Run Away

From Doubts (fables and fantasy)
04 01 - Two Trains To Heaven

Two trains to heaven and a third one running late,
I can't say I'm impatient, I just didn't like to wait.
I kept on walking, wandering on the barren ground
with open ear to hear the piercing whistling sound
coming around (coming around).

Millions of people stood and waited by the tracks,
train spotters noted down and lectured all the facts,
a friend I'd known from a forgotten day of yore
I recognised and soon I greeted many more
I'd met before (I'd met before).

A weary woman stood in front of a canteen
and next to her there was an old and rusty slot machine.
"I buy and sell all sort of things inside my tent",
that's what she said, I knew too well the things she meant
and in I went (and in I went).

--------------------

I was guided to a gateway that was hidden from plain view
and through another door I crossed the land she led me to.
There lay a luscious field of calm and solitude,
a bright display of beauty I had never viewed
from where I stood (from where I stood).

I saw a tree with many a branch and hanging rope
and a barrel freely rolling up and down a U shaped slope.
The motion frictionless repeated with no end,
it seemed like years I kept my eye on the ascend
and the descend (and the descend).

It's many whistles I've heard since, so many more
I often doubt if I could hear at all before.
I hear the music and the menace in the air,
a windy whisper that I feel is always there
but I may err (but I may err).

(from album 3, fables) - Two Trains To Heaven

From Subtlety (rants and ramblings)
03 08 - Two Extremes

She says that she's all that and also she knows she's not all of that as it seems,
she always observes and she questions and doubts, she plays with the words and she dreams
of a life that's between two extremes.

It's often she mentions her friends from the past and how life did turn out for them,
what sort of skills they were lacking or not, and how special she is and I am,
but she also knows how to condemn.

She reads the best, the worst,
and the errors, contradictions she can see,
she'll be pointing at them first,
she's always been very well versed
in both literature and philosophy.

A personal failure is also a chance, she took some and that's how she thrives,
she says that she thinks of the times long gone by, how she's had many more than one lives
and yet, she's still here, she survives.

She's eloquent when describing her likes and shows that she has a good taste,
and in her big flat there is beauty and art and there is what she says is just waste,
and her stuff is quite often misplaced.

She chats with the old, the young
in both of the foreign languages she knows
and also in her mother tongue,
and adjusts to whom she is among,
relatives, parents, husband, friends and foes.

--------------------

Her friends are not many but also she knows there are not many friends that are true,
some make mean remarks, others make subtle hints, she's thinking the lines through and through,
their meaning, what they're equal to.

She's speaking her mind, very often she says things that should have been left unsaid,
and then she is trying to please those who took an offence or who have been misled,
and make sure she is well-liked instead.

When she's tried over the top,
she locates precisely after the event
the point it was best to stop,
why the effort was a flop,
and again she tries to explain what she meant.

She says that she loves a good sleep and a meal, the bohemian leisurely pace,
and then she admits that in order to live and survive she's been forced to embrace
modernity and the rat race.

She worries too often about her career, the politics of it backstage,
she says that a meaningful less tiring job would allow her to soon turn the page
but it can not match her current wage.

Her spouse knows that she's stressed,
he is a good and decent, caring man,
he hears what she does suggest
and he's usually impressed
though he just can not help her with the plan.

After a number of life's ups and downs, she's often told that she seems content,
she doubts people mean it, she says that she knows, it's the actions that show the intent
and that words sometimes misrepresent.

(from album 2, ramblings) - Two Extremes

From Subtlety (rants and ramblings)
03 04 - It Is Clear

At the place I was born, the sun used to adorn the valleys and rivers and all
that, but those who live there have destroyed all that fair land into something that can only appal.
Empty spaces are phased out and buildings are raised and there countless of people inhabit,
they're applying for loans, getting new high-end phones and they're buying as a matter of habit.

But it's clear, it is clear, one can not help but find what one has left behind in each station
(it is clear, it is clear) in an ever expanding location.

So I did go up north and I went back and forth and I wandered without destination,
I unearthed some new chords and I learned some new words and I picked up a strange intonation.
At the place I grew up I now need a big map, old acquaintances are now and then calling,
but this ship's gone astray, with no flag on display against all the winds it is hauling.

But it's clear, it is clear, one can not help but find what one has left behind in each station
(it is clear, it is clear) in an ever expanding location.

There are gadgets in stock, there's a fast-going clock, there are all sort of schemes in the making,
business, credits and cheques' luring arms that annex anyone who is up for the taking.
And the lonely, the loud, do of course love a crowd. The youths in the zoos of the cities
protest for buy-nothing days, go to artistic plays and form circles and groups and committees.

But it's clear, it is clear, their ideals and deeds, current/future wants/needs have been measured
(it is clear, it is clear) and their purchasing power is treasured.

--------------------

There are planes flying high, there are cars passing by, promise-lands, human-freight on the voyage
and live cargoes that age wrapped in cellophane cage to eliminate the visible spoilage.
At the places I go, people courteously show how uniquely to contempt they're resorting,
most will buy country land and of course have a band, and the acts to the words are retorting.

But it's clear, it is clear, their ideals and deeds, current/future wants/needs have been measured
(it is clear, it is clear) and their purchasing power is treasured.

In the average purse, abstract maudlin free verse one can find next to a schedule and diary,
altered versions of it for the plebs or elite, both with self-life a day from expiry.
There are lists of cheap thrills, gifts, events and job skills, must-see things, must-do trips one should buy,
some list items are crossed, others note down the cost, and demand obeys the supply.

But it's clear, it is clear, those well-off and and well-spoken, they're doing their token for charity
(it is clear, it is clear) and their business is to grow the disparity.

It is clear, it is clear, that is how it all goes, almost everyone knows what's the score,
(it is clear, it is clear) we want more.

(from album 2, ramblings) - It Is Clear

From Monologues (personas and parodies)
02 09 - State Of Affairs 2 (talking)

You said you loved me but you left without a single word
and you mentioned to Melinda all that had occurred,
I found out from Jackie's father you weren't treated well,
guess who called me and consoled me, it was your friend Giselle.
Adrianna called Diana for picking up your stuff,
she said hold it, all is sold, it was her idea to bluff.

So I take it that you have been talking...
Me, I only mentioned it to Ben.
You were holding hands with Hans while walking,
Matthew saw you with two other men.
Your friend Hanna says you're way too hasty,
you should wait before you date again.

I had a moment of reflection after you had gone,
Nathan told me I was grumpy and a bit withdrawn
so I called Laurenne and Lucas for a little chat,
they revealed about you and Jason. So that's where you were at...
Only Thomas kept his promise to stick by with me
but his sister is a transistor that says all to Marie.

And she tells you that I have been talking...
But it's Sue who says the private bits.
Zoe says Lucienne should put a sock in,
Lily what occurred between the sheets.
It's all tiring as I've said to Terry,
Alex says it's time to call it quits.

(from album 1, satires) - State Of Affairs 2

From Monologues (personas and parodies)
02 08 - In Love's Fashion

Some people ask advice
on what to do or not to,
and that is the thing precise-
ly you don't do nor ought to.

You say that I am clever, I say that you are bright,
it is a situation where more than one is right.

You summon forth the past and
recall old lovers too,
I evoke lewd tales of lust and
with both it's half that's true.

You say you are not jealous, I laugh and play that part,
you tease me I'm a pervert, I joke that you're a tart.

We like to go to parties,
show off, mingle and laugh,
I know too well who Sartre is,
you quote his better half.

We travel lots to places, I taste the local food,
you take artistic photos of every site we've viewed.

--------------------

You work so hard my darling,
meetings, target meeting,
and for my work I'm quarrelling,
commuting and committeeing.

I value your success girl, you're proud of my career,
we never doubt or falter, we always persevere.

It was in Fez I met you,
we were in our gap year,
I managed then to fret you,
I too did disappear.

What chance to see you passing fast past my office space!
I wasn't sure it was you and I stayed put just in case.

My best mate texts you greetings,
I get your friends' regards,
we all book front row seatings
and have membership cards,

but in jeans at casual concerts too, we drink and rock and roll
and kiss during the chorus, we always love the show.

(from album 1, satires) - In Love's Fashion

From Monologues (personas and parodies)
02 03 - Thirtieth Birthday

Exactly thirty years ago I saw the light of day,
I can't remember much of course, that's what my parents say.
I guess that I was different, I was the first born child,
at times a little naughty and at times a little wild.

I set a camp on fire when I was barely six months old
and we cancelled our vacations, or at least that's what I'm told.
I didn't like the friends of mum, their dos and their soirées,
I just couldn't get it, I guess I was before the oral phase.

The deeper thoughts, the money-talk
and all the banter and the taunts
and witty lines, they're not the things
that any timid schoolboy wants,
and all that smoke was irritating
and I could not breathe through my nose,
my folks don't like it either now,
as very few do I suppose.

My parents cared a lot for me, they actually read books
on children and psychology and did a decent job it looks.
Lacan and Freud (and Anna too) and Jung, I've heard their names,
they also had two books of Klein and one of William James.

I had the freedom to develop, to find who I really am,
I'm not there yet but this I know, I'm grateful to them.
And there's another thing I know, I'm pretty sure of this,
I'm not the type to celebrate or idly reminisce.

I live a fairly active life
and with considerable success
and at my work it has been said
quite a few people are impressed.
But birthdays bring out memories
from a forgotten early age,
yes, life goes on of course but one
can not completely turn the page.

I remember well those care-free days of endless fun and joy,
unrequited flames and contest games, I was a happy boy.
But somehow things along the line got strange and difficult,
confused in uni I even joined for a while an iffy cult.

About the same time last year I spontaneously grabbed a map
and drove for hours to find the town and house that I grew up.
How times have changed, it's sad to see and hard to contemplate,
I was slightly lost and found myself in a bleak council estate.

It's time I should be going though,
I hear my friends, I think they're here,
we've planned a little something from
quite a bit earlier this year.
I'm lucky to have many friends,
it's not at all easy to find
in our shallow selfish modern age
some people of your own kind.

(from album 1, satires) - Thirtieth Birthday

From Monologues (personas and parodies)
02 01 - Where I Connect

Where I connect, where I belong is where I should be
but there's been no-one yet who's shown to care for me,
so I have wandered all around
to seek my home, my native ground,
but troubles follow and salvation I can't see.

To forgive and to forget is what I do
but why can't anyone be nice to do that too?
I can not really understand,
even the members of my band
are distant too. In truth, they are a hopeless crew.

And it's "fetch the figures", "file the folders", "get the graph", "write the report",
phone calls, meetings and assessments, one can't sell one's self short.

But anyway... Some have more reasons to complain,
some even starve, some live a loveless life in pain
under oppression, cruelty,
those more unfortunate than me
I try to help, it could be me instead of them, it is humane.

To be on stage... I just adore the spotlight.
I know it's silly and a little bit contrite
but I love so much to perform,
I guess all do, it is the norm,
and I imagine I'm discovered by a director or playwright.

And it's "fetch the figures", "file the folders", "get the graph", "write the report",
phone calls, meetings and assessments, one can't sell one's self short.

--------------------

No, I don't want a ruby carpet for my feet
and I don't need a golden throne on which to sit
and I'm not out there to collect
the admiration. Just respect.
But I'm disappointed by the people that I meet.

People start "I" and "I" and "I" and "I" and "I"...
I often think that my whole life is just a lie,
I should have been born in different times,
deep in the past, in warmer climes.
I was unlucky, I was cursed. A hex, perhaps an evil eye...

And it's "fetch the figures", "file the folders", "get the graph", "write the report",
phone calls, meetings and assessments, one can't sell one's self short.

I feel so helpless and so stressed, I need a change.
I'm not one of those who live around a ten mile range,
I want to move, progress and learn,
and in the nights I toss and turn,
I dream of dreams within a dream and I get lost. I find this strange.

Some people tell me to relax, smile and admit
that that's the normal average life, or else to quit
the dream, desire and the grief,
I nod my head in disbelief.
I won't so easily give up, oh no, I won't admit defeat.

And it's "fetch the figures", "file the folders", "get the graph", "write the report",
phone calls, meetings and assessments, one can't sell one's self short.

(from album 1, satires) - Where I Connect

Folk/rock songs in singer/songwriter style and diy/punk spirit. 
Personas and parodies, rants and ramblings, fables and fantasy, sleaze and silliness.

I've been playing/writing music as a hobby for years, and sometime ago I arranged my songs into 4 thematic (semi-finished) albums. After persistent nagging and unreasonable flattery from biased friends, I've been coaxed into spending some free time working on selected songs (from those 4 albums) and making them public. Hope you like them.

About me, I'm in my 30s, of mixed background, and I live (mostly) in England and Scotland. Jon Deferdyn is an alteration of my name and the Vortex is a small, loose group of friends with whom I've played music.

Some of the compliments I've got so far are on the lyrics, so I've included them (on each song page here).

Many of my favorite artists are (for lack of a better description) in the literary singer-songwriter/chansonnier/bard tradition:
Georges Brassens, Jake Thackray, Fabrizio De Andre, Nick Cave, Vladimir Vysotsky, Shane McGowan, Ewan MacColl, Dubliners, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Lee Hazlewood, Wolf Biermann, Jacek Kaczmarski, John Prine, Townes Van Zandt, Linton Kwesi Johnson; in bands, Clash, Mano Negra, Cramps, and others.

Jon Deferdyn & the Vortex

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