I got nowhere to be

The wisdom of Solomon suggests
It doesn’t pay to be wise
What kind of wise ass bullshit is this
Wouldn’t wish this life upon anyone,
Wouldn’t choose another for my own 
If I were to ever have a kid 
I fear I’d feel forever like a cheat
Can’t keep kicking the ball down the field
If this life means anything
The meaning must be right here
So much time and no time at all
Vote yes on 2
The brittle urgency of finitude 
I’ll keep riding these hopeless feelings
Until they run out of fumes

The Brittle Urgency of Finitude

What's That Like

Who You Are

Walking in the Sun

The Bar

You played the music for my film
and the world stood on its heels
The tune, it told me how to feel
what to be proud of and what to fear

You played the music for my film
from behind the stained-glass veil
I thought the script would write itself
I believed in story outside myself
By the hand of man I was deceived
by the hand of man I was made to believe
Reared to tend, simply, someone else's dream

It was easy to not seek meaning on my own
such small spaces may seem safest
but at what cost
All the while I was unaware

Music for my Film

Now I'm twenty-five
and still, I don't know how to talk to you
Some things come with age
and some things go
Out of the womb, and into the sea
drifting ever since
Once you were my only necessity
but oh, how I've grown
To war with the world on my own
to war with myself for my soul

You always had such hope for me
but we want separate things, you and I
The faith you bestowed in me,
my sense of right or wrong,
were yours not God's
It was easy to know who to believe
when I was young
But oh, how I've grown
To war with the world on my own
to war with myself for my soul

A well-meaning lie may comfort for a time
but in the end all it did was deceive
I believe, though hard at times
the truth does set one free
Oh, clarity
I've had the most perplexing dream
how do I explain
For all these years I thought I knew your name
But oh, how I've grown
To war with the world on my own
to war with myself for my soul

A Well-Meaning Lie

In the rain can be found
the act and the sound of falling
It is a  release, a letting go
of harbored things
From within I sit and spin
the minutes round my head like string
There is a truth I dare not say
for I know not what it means

I used to fear death
and its many dark portraits
Strange ideas handed down
at the threat of non-existence
We see that life isn't fair
thus we claim that there is another
but every conception of the divine
betrays the mind behind
this most powerful and persistent of tools

I used to fear death
I used to fear so many things
but there's no need
we are all on our way
to the same place
We speak of death as a disease
though its as honest as the wind in the trees
we can all agree
that what one denies and believes
does not decide the truth of a thing

The world is what it is
and I've made my peace with it
this life is all that I have
and I am content
To sleep with naught a dream
to shake my rest
to live with the intent to find
heaven on earth

A New Song

You needn't worry for me, in fact I'm doing quite well
I breathe easier now than I ever have before
Do not be afraid, growth always brings change
I've learned at last to think for myself
or is that what you're most concerned about?

My greatest fear is losing those I hold dear
to differences in thought and abstract ideas
Life is a gift, regardless of descent
its value, intrinsic, and purpose, innate
There is worth to be found in the small, subtle wonders of each day

I want to be known as a compassionate soul
or do you doubt that I have one at all?
If we, who were once brothers, are now deemed irreconcilable
what hope is left for the rest of humanity's frays?
Are we so different now, having once been the same?

We are terribly free to do as we please
we can have all the hell that we want
In the last days, I imagine many will say
I always knew it would end in this way

And though this selfsame will may conquer us still
we cannot forget our capacity for change
We are wonderfully and fearfully
we are wonderfully and fearfully free

Jonathan Zachary

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