I wanna go to Paris
And see the lights along the Seine 
I wanna be romantic
Flirt with the Parisian men
But my ticket has a different destination
And I forgot my black beret
I wanna go to Paris
But I'll have to go another day

I wanna go to Vegas
And not care if I win or lose
I wanna be impulsive
Act like the big spenders do
The problem is I have approximately
Five dollars in my bank account
I wanna go to Vegas
But first I've gotta get out of this town

Oh
The grass is always greener
The men are always sweeter
Than at home
So 
No one knows where I'm gonna go

How 'bout Buenos Aires? Or Rio?
I'll stop in Lima on the way
There are also several oceans and the North Pole
And of course there's outer space
I've been racking my brain for a way to decide
Why I should not get on this flight
I wanna see the whole world 
To start I need a place to stay tonight

Oh
The grass is always greener
The men are always sweeter
Than at home
So 
No one knows where I'm gonna go

I wanna go where I haven't gone before
First I have to walk through this door

Walk Through the Door

You used to write me love letters
Saying we were meant to be
Together—forever and ever
You gave me your favorite sweater
Told me it was mine
Til there was better weather

Apparently things changed 
When summer came

You called to say we were through
Couldn't say it to my face
How could you be so cruel?
Then you pulled this classy move
Asking can we still be friends
Do you think I'm a fool?

I've heard that line before
A hundred times or more

Do you think I still want to know about your world
Do you think I want to know about your new girls

I don't wanna be friends

I gave away your old sweater
It's summer anyway
Besides without it I look even better
And I got rid of your number
Don't need it anymore
Bet you'll keep mine for sure

I am not your friend
This is the end

Do you think I still want to know about your world
Do you think I want to know about your new girls

I don't wanna be friends

Tsunamis

oh say can you see
what i see or can’t see
you say i can’t see
what’s right in front of me

you think i can’t see
who i want to be
or who i want to be with

are you sad boy
because i’m dating a bad boy
or is it the wrong boy
the wrong boy for me

are you nice boy
a romeo, a real troy
who will destroy all notions
of what a boy can be

oh stop with your tunes
about how i’m with the wrong dude
oh stfu
i can do whatever i want to

you say i can’t see
what’s right in front of me
maybe you’re right
but i didn’t know you studied optometry

you say you’re sick of 
being 2nd place
but who ever said you 
were in this race

stop with your tunes
about how i’m with the wrong dude
i don’t belong to you
i’ll never long for you

i know you’re projecting
to handle my rejection
i’m just glad
you’re using protection

Sad Boy

i think i saw you last night in my dreams
you were hopping a fence with a couple of sheep
were you the shepherd
or were you a king
i don’t remember my dreams  
i don’t remember my dreams

we danced together to your favorite song
you were so happy and i was a blonde
if that was a dream
why did it feel wrong
i don’t know where i belong
what was the name of that song
i don’t know where i belong
i don’t know where i belong

i woke up crying and i am alone
i fell asleep with my head on my phone
i don’t like sleeping
when nobody’s home
i don’t like sleeping alone
i don’t like sleeping alone

Dreams

we don’t get to have recess
we don’t get to play ball
we have to sit in chairs all day
we have to answer calls/
we’re sick and tired of busy work
we’re not having any fun
we don’t want to look at numbers
we wanna see the sun

why do we need to stay inside
why must we wear pants
why do we wake up early why don’t we go out and dance
we’re done with windowless brick walls
we’re through with being sad
it’s time to put on funny hats
it’s time to make a plan

let’s go out together
let’s go in rough weather
let’s go see if a small rock
falls faster than a feather
let’s go wear all leather
let’s go find lost treasure 
let’s go on an adventure 
because we’re worth it

what if we fly to the moon
what if we lasso a star
what if we go to the jungle gym
and swing on the monkey bars
what if we jump in the waves
what if we eat chalk
what if we lick ice cream
straight off of the sidewalk

what if we play hopscotch
what if we dress funny
what if we meet a bald eagle
and he can be our buddy
what if we have dirty hands
‘cause we never wash our hands
that’d be bad, don’t do that
we should always wash our hands

we can bake a loaf of bread
we can give ourselves awards
we can research the difference
between bays, sounds, and fjords
we can touch an octopus
we can go on a safari
we can make people bring 
pineapples to our fun party

We can camp out in the woods! (Yeah!)
We can eat fluff from the jar! (Woohoo!)
We can try to dig to the center of the earth (Wait what how)
Even if we cannot get that far! (Okay?)
we can go to timbuktu (Mali!)
we can craft weird crafts (glitter)
we can see which one of us (whom?)
can laugh the loudest laughs (laugh breakdown)

let’s go out together
let’s go in rough weather
let’s go see if a small rock
falls faster than a feather
let’s go wear all leather
let’s go find lost treasure 
let’s go on an adventure 
because we’re worth it

How do you break clean, go where life is pretty, end your daydream, stop playing Walter Mitty, 
What do you do to escape this quicksand that sticks and holds us down like six hands
Gotta run wild, with the bulls, make us smile, life is full.
Grey skies have cleared up, my happy face is on, adventures appear, cup runs over, race is on.

let’s go out together
let’s go in rough weather
let’s go see if a small rock
falls faster than a feather
let’s go wear all leather
let’s go find lost treasure 
let’s go on an adventure 
because we’re worth it

Adventure Song!

dear neighbors
i'd like to apologize
my alarm clock went off
74 times this morning
now i'm
sitting in a coffeeshop
nursing my third
triple-shot americano
i don't think i'll be able
to fall asleep tonight

if self-sabotage is an art
then color me an artist
i'm a real o'keeffe
i'm a true kara walker
if self-sabotage is an art
i’m a judy, i’m a julie, i’m a joni

oh i just wanna be relatable
i want strangers to like me
i want you to like me too
i want people to love me
i wrote this song for me
but i also wrote it for you
i'm my own worst critic
but i'm the only one who gets me 
i’m my own best and worst company
oh i don't need no enemies
i have to fight myself

oh mother
i'm so sorry
i don't do the dishes
i promise i'm ambitious
you always say
moderation is key
but i've only good at extremes
i'm a 2 or an 8
i'm never in between

if self-sabotage is an art
then color me an artist
i'm a real gerwig
i'm a true petra collins
if self-sabotage is an art
i’m a janis, i’m a tavi, i’m an ella

oh i just wanna be relatable
i want strangers to like me
i want you to like me too
i want people to love me
i wrote this song for me
but i also wrote it for you
i'm my own worst critic
but i'm the only one who gets me 
i’m my own best and worst company
oh i don't need no enemies
i have to fight myself

if self-sabotage is an art
then color me an artist
i'm a real ono
i'm a true farrah fawcett
if self-sabotage is an art
i’m a maya, i’m a nicki, i’m a frida
i’m a barbra, i’m a hannah, i’m a gaga  
i’m selina, i’m a tina, i’m a helen, i’m marina
i’m a judy, i’m a julie, i’m a joni
i'm joni
i wanna be joni

Dear Neighbors

I don't like sleeping alone
My dreams take on a life of their own
They wake me up; they whisper low
I don't like sleeping alone

I don't like it when there's no light
When it's a new moon, I don't go out at night
If I can't see, I enter fight or flight
I don't like it when there's no light

I don't like closing my eyes
I want to know what's ahead and what's behind
When I can't see, I begin to cry
I don't like closing my eyes

I'm scared of choosing a path
I'm scared I won't find my way back
But most of all, I'm scared of losing you
Are you scared of losing me too?

Losing You

please feed the animals
please take more than one
please handle the cookies
please have too much fun

please step on the grass
and please touch the art
please smoke in the bathrooms
but don't break my heart

I only have a single rule
and I break all the rest
my rule is: if you hold my heart
please treat it with respect
my heart is fragile
but I think it's a simple request
so if you plan to fail this test
please put my heart back in my chest

forget about grammar
forget about fashion
forget about math
forget all your lessons

'cause I'm erasing
nearly all of the rules
except if you want to woo me
then don't be a fool

Please Put My Heart Back in My Chest

he said you make me happy
and that made me want to cry
cause i knew that it wouldn’t last forever
him and i

he said you make me smile
and it chilled me to the bone
i wonder if he smiles
now that he and i are alone

there’s something i should tell you
i always wanted to say
but i didn’t warn him
until it was too late

he told me i was beautiful
and i thought i could change
but i’m an old dog
and i will never stray from my ways

he didn’t understand
when i told him that i must go
it’s been four years
since he and i have exchanged hellos

there’s something i should tell you
i always wanted to say
but i didn’t warn him
until it was too late

so here’s my delinquent warning
i am glitter
i am not gold
don’t choose me if you’re looking
for someone with whom you’ll grow old

Delinquent Warning

periods of growth
are equally chaotic
old skin opening up 
for new sprouts

who i am
everyday
grows unpredictably
into something
nebulous

i’ve grown to have
comfort
in the unpredictable
and abstract

but there is pain too
in growing
and changing
and coming home

nebulas don’t fit
in square holes  
how can i explain
my abstraction
to people who only
know me from
their memories

how do i show them
my dimension
when they refer to me
in 2d memories

how do i show
i am whole
i am complex
i am nebulous
i am

-

lyrics by anna carnes

On Growth

i see the future when i lay in my bed
it’s beamed directly to my pillow-laid head
it isn’t distant, it’s way after i’m dead
it’s in my head

the moon is gone but there are so many stars
there’s a redder one, it’s probably mars
we never sent a soul, although we sent cars
it’s a car graveyard

there’s only one person left on planet earth
all the other ones are becoming dirt
they have the highest and the lowest net worth
they’ve got the whole earth

this lonely person’s got nothing left to give
no one to talk to or commiserate with
they made a surrogate out of leaves and twigs
they jumped off a cliff

cause what’s a planet if you haven’t a friend
someone to rely on while this whole thing ends
someone to learn from, to love and defend
life’s about friends

i shake the future from my sleep-ridden eyes
try not to think too much about our demise
i’ve friends who love me, and i don’t want to die
i feel alive

The Future

i miss you
do you miss me too
i wanna hear your voice again
i wanna know if we're still friends

are your ears aflame
someone told me your ears burn when someone speaks your name
i talk about you all the time
i wonder if i'm on your mind

yesterday i thought about
the night that you and i got locked out
we were just two kids having fun
now look how far apart we've gone

if you showed up on my doorstep
i wouldn't know what to do next
i'd open the door, invite you in
but where would we even begin

i love you
but i'm bad with follow through
if you drop me a line
i'll drop it every single time

i want this to be
a circle, not a line zigzagging
because a circle never ends
and that's how long we should be friends

A Circle

i was watching as you solved a rubik’s cube
and i came dangerously close to saying i love you
as you turned it: blue, green, red
i turned the thought over in my head
i decided not to say it out loud yet

this puzzle’s given me trouble all week
how to check the boxes so you won’t leave me
of course, you’re not the one
you’re at best a month of fun
if i said that out loud, would you pick up and run?

i swear i’m not a casual dating hater
but i’ve never been an especially patient waiter
i hate having to use my calculator
to know how long to wait to see you later

i’m so tired of juggling photographs
having half-assed conversations with another match
faking another laugh
reciting witty lines so you’ll think i’m a catch
not getting too attached
i’m doing the best i can
but i’m starting to think that maybe i can’t

do this anymore
maybe i can’t do this anymore
maybe you’re sweet but you’re a bore
maybe it’s me, i can’t be sure

i can’t do this anymore
i can’t do this anymore
you’re becoming such a chore
i’ll give you three weeks, maybe four

Ten of Pentacles, Reversed

i'm tired of writing love songs
since i've never been in love
i'm sitting, a-wishing, a-waiting
for cupid's arrow to fall from above

i wish i knew the feeling
of knowing i would die for someone else
i'm waiting, waiting, waiting
to feel that selfless

so i practice alone in my room 
in front of the mirror
if i say it a thousand times
maybe i'll see clearer

i say i love you, i love you
but my reflection can tell it's not true

i don't believe in the one
i believe in many
but if we have multiple potential lovers
why haven't i found any?

dear future someone
i promise that i'm trying to find you
i hope i find you soon
so we have time to live before dying

I Practice Saying I Love You

i’ve never been to hollywood
so tell me, what’s it like to see the stars?
do they look like the ones at home?
or is there too much light to see that far?

have you seen any celebrities?
do any of ‘em look like me?

i’m glad that you’re the one who left
because if i saw anybody famous
i wouldn’t know what i should say
i’d probably forget what my own name was

have you seen any celebrities?
do any of ‘em look like me?

i’m a coward
i couldn’t leave
i’m a coward
i couldn’t leave
you’re so brave
you’re so brave
that’s why you left me

if you look up and see a star
i hope we’re looking at the same one
but what are the odds of that?
i’d say none

i bet you see lots of celebrities
but do any of ‘em look like me

i’m a coward
i couldn’t leave
i’m coward
i couldn’t leave
you’re so brave
you’re so brave
that’s why you left me
that’s why you left me

Hollywood

you said you didn't know
someone else still chewed their nails too
i said i didn't know
i was doing it in front of you

it's a thoughtless tic
from my days as an anxious kid
it's a nasty habit
i can't seem to kick

you could tell
how i was doing
by looking at my hands
but for you
hands were just the beginning
sometimes i let it slide
but sometimes i'd examine you under the light
we'd both cry

what do your nails look like these days?
are they ragged and bloodied
or clean and straight?
i wish i could hold your hands one last time
so i could know if you're doing alright

you'd give me bruises
if i ever asked you to
then you'd go into your room
and bruise yourself too
i was scared
i'd ask you what make you do it
you would sigh
and say you couldn't control it

Nails

this sweater 
is just an ordinary sweater
but when i wear it 
i feel better
i swear
oh i solemnly swear
it’s like you’re there

and this letter
to strange eyes is just a letter
but when i read it
my eyes turn wetter
you’d swear
oh for god’s sake you’d swear
i’d know better

forever
i could go on forever
suffocate myself
with this pen and this paper
and as i lay here
with all this shit i can’t ignore
i wish that i could set it all aflame and watch it burn

Pyre

i need a cup of coffee
when my alarm rings out at 6:30
and before i shut my eyes at midnight
i need a beer to stop my mind from churning

i’m so tired

and yes i know that it’s a problem
that i need all this coffee and alcohol
but don’t worry, i drink lots of water
it can’t be bad ‘cause i drink so much water

i’m so tired of being this tired
but i’m hooked on being wired
i’m so tired of being this tired
i’m so tired

maybe i should compromise with a four loko at noon
maybe i should detox sooner than 32

I’m So Tired

we hadn’t even seen a movie
when you started talking symphonies
what ifs and what you’d name your baby
we moved so fast it made me dizzy

we talked all night til it was day
i couldn’t stop saying your name
of course, i knew i couldn’t stay
but i like to get carried away

i let my heart wait for my head
to catch up, then i took a breathe
so i could say what i had left unsaid
but you beat me to the end
you beat me to the end

i was caught unawares, i was stunned
you knocked the air out of my lungs
i’m used to deciding when things are done
it felt like a hit and run

i thought i was gonna break your heart
but i let my guard down, that wasn’t smart
now i’m the one making you into art
now i’m the one wondering where you are

you beat me to the end

You Beat Me

writing a song a week in 2018 !
https://joniandjulia.wordpress.com/

joniandjulia

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