while you were offline, i was online refining my martyr complex

// track 9 - falling up
produced by vai5000 + clwdy (@clwdytunes) + stephie (@stephiemusic)
VA by 瀬戸ユトギ


君の名前がこだまするもう存在しない言葉がまだ耳に届く。
君の一部は今もここに時が過ぎてもなお

tried so hard - falling up 
through the space in
my heart I'll fall again 
hard to hold-
I won't forget the look you gave me
letting go of my hands as you fly
if I wait I'll see you some day
you'll come back- falling
up I can't touch the ground
I can't be pulled down
watch me try again and again
will you watch as I 
fumble on my own footsteps


そして私は飛んだ。空を駆け抜け、風に抱かれながら、まるであの頃の君のように

(tried so hard - falling up 
through the space in
my-)

over, over 
and I'll try get up
memories of you still in my heart
again, again 
I'm still falling up
as I try to reach you
I loved all of you
every single thing 
I know all of the scars and 
memories
traced into my mind 
I won't let go
you'll stay with me 
in your echo


何度でもこの瞬間に生き続ける。
ほんの一瞬、君がもういないことを理解した。
けれど、それは怖くはなかった。
だって、君は私と同じ空を見ることはなくても、それで も確かに君のかけらはここに残っている。

I can't bear the weight
echo things you've said
watch you take my hands
for the first time
and I'll say it back
please don't leave my hand
please I'll try again
I'll relive it

over and over and over again
over and over and over again now
over and over and over again
over and over and over again
over and over and over again
over and over and over again now
over and over and over again
over and over and over again

それは私を愛している。何度でも何度でも、

falling up +clwdy, stephie

produced by 48

i only ever wanted answers
i kept it to myself
sorry where are my manners
your not somebody else

i want to put you on some life i really wanted to live
and let you know some family that could take me away
my walls will never break our song i never wanted to write
i find it hard to love someone so im running away
i mean i really dont wanna see the end of the day
three years im running out of time ill turn to sand its the same

dont want to sell me out
chose a side
girl maybe wed be out
if we could fly

its getting late oh no
and i still got so much to say oh no
ill leave you with them fly away oh no
until we see another day oh no

get on your knees oh can you bow for me
i been all the shit that u ask of me
i cant believe that im surprised to see
your not someone whos gonna ride with me

someone thats gon help it
make it the biggest you ever seen ahead bitch
throw me all your roses baby im still on the same ship yeah
but something about you changed me

i find it hard to love someone so im running away
i mean i really dont wanna see the end of the day
three years im running out of time ill turn to sand its the same

dont want to sell me out
chose a side
girl maybe wed be out
if we could fly

26/6/24 - 05/03/25
1/11

"It's A Beautiful Day" is sort of written about not fitting in, or feeling like you aren't keeping up with people around you. It has this idea of like, you could be having the worst day of your life, but the sun is still shining, the weather is great, and people are doing good. It's the idea of everything feeling wrong, and that you aren't doing good enough paired with this universal indifference and the realisation that nothing is ever really that serious.

[LYRICS]
I feel like an ossuary, so where do I pour my heart out?
I'm channeling doors, to owe my essence
to figure something out

And I'd own all my demons
if I could just help you out

I don't think I'm worth much
and I'm not sure I see a way through
Third perspectives might be useful
if I was just someone else

So if I said, "It's A Beautiful Day", would I be a liar?
(Take me home)

There's still time.

My journey starts with an empty canvas.
No map, no compass.
I follow some signs and turning points.
I'm speeding up, I'm slowing down.
I find my way, just to lose it again.
I move through sounds, instruments, hotel rooms, and poetry.
I move fast, yet feel so subtle.
Sometimes, I don't even notice how far I've come.
Every day, I pray for inspiration.
For that golden melody, every day, I sit and wait.
Sometimes it comes. Sometimes it doesn't
But every day I'm there, in case she shows up.
That elusive muse that whispers into my soul.
As I watch the road that's coming ahead of me,
from the one that I'm leaving behind, I remind myself;
To enjoy the ride.

It's A Beautiful Day

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/kaynn/someone-like-u

eudaimonia

____________

i've been searching for someone like you

i hope you're not playing with my mind
'cause i believed we weren't wasting time
but now i'm seeing how it is
i've been searching for someone that i thought you would be

okay
wrong shit in front of my eyes
should've known cuz i've been through this twice
burned once and now i'm paying the price
tried to forget but you’re stuck in my mind  
i was fantasizing every touch you gave me 
all because i was...

searching for someone like you
'cause i've been searching for someone that i thought you would be
'cause i've been searching like you
'cause i've been searching for someone that i thought you would be
searching for someone like you
searching for someone like you
searching for someone like you

wasted talks and empty nights
lost myself in your eyes
i tried to focus on my path
i tried to care less when you passed 
in my life
need to grow
time alone
in my life
need to heal
make it known
in my life 
something real
no disguise
in my life

someone like u

venturing - i love my friends cover

even when they lie, i love my friends (cause i know they have to)
even when they leave, i love my friends (cause i know they have to)
even when they forget, i love my friends (cause i know they have to)
even when they neglect, i love my friends (cause i know they have to)

he gave me hope, i fell in love (and i thought i was the only one)
i wiped my tears and drank the blood (and i thought i was the only one)
the summer's brutal in Arizona (and i thought i was the only one)
and i'm fine with burning as long as i got to know you (and i thought i was the only one)

i love my friends

with @sharktech

mixed mostly by @avgtoucan

this was one of my own audio section in the 70+ person audiovisual megacollab i hosted over the last 15 months in my discord collective @0ssembli .

please listen to the full thing here 
https://soundcloud.com/0ssembli/kintsugi 

or preferably watch the music video that goes with it 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3hMbccyAkE

and also join the discord https://discord.gg/ccTG9URuDX


<3

while you were offline, i was online refining my martyr complex

joon.

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