a song of the past, I think I wrote it in the first half of 2014. certainly, back then there was a particular reason why I wrote it. I do not feel it anymore, I cannot say 'amen' to the message of the lyrics. however, I view it now as one of the places in which God has graciously sustained me, even when I was particularly looking for other things than Him to be my all. it is indeed interesting to reminisce. 

I believe that the Lord has placed in me talents and the passion for music. if I can say a prayer request would be the capacity to compose works that will truly glorify Him, be it a hymn or something else.

Maybe Someday (Demo)

one of my most recent creations, wrote it on February 2016. was really into Tokyo Ghoul back then, and this song is inspired with the part where Kaneki fights Kanae and gets beaten up to the point of his skull splitting...

the title 'the saints' is a reference to the Tokyo Ghoul season 1 ED. I've got nothing on the saints as Paul laid them out in the New Testament...by His grace I am one too!

My skull's split
A man-sized crack
Souls that I've never met
Or have never noticed

Slips out and dissipates 
Formless, meaningless, 
One with the night
I see them

The saints
Looking down on me
The saints
Watching over me

The saints
Looking down on me
The saints
Laughing over me

The Saints (Demo)

Made this for a uni assignment back in 2015. this song details my conversion to Christianity in a weird way, I guess...the first part is a full-on head bang death metal. the second one goes to a bit of an acoustic, yet angsty interlude. the third section is a descend to madness with 3-4 violins playing different things. until finally, I end with a 'choir' of the song Amazing Grace. 

I'm not gonna say that it's a 'Reformed' kind of music...but with the capacity that I had back then, this is the song that I made to express my conversion. 

thank God for that. and may He use whatever musicality He gave to me now for His glory and others' blessing.

Conversion

A song from 2015. If there wasn't a small mistake with the guitar right at the bridge, I would have removed 'demo' from the title. It's about loneliness and the desire to share one's life with a significant other. 

Peek into my heart
You just have to ask
I'll take you inside
The old, dusty halls

It's not that I don't
Let anyone in
It's just no one seems
To have time to share

What's inside
They refuse
Though I'm one to talk
I lose words

These things make me wonder
"Did I grow up right?"
"Did my mother feed me
The right things to eat?"

'Cause I don't
Feel I'm here
I'm on another planet
Watching you

In this crowded place
I'm alone
Still waiting if you
Have time to share

So please don't go
For once stay and come in
I'm sick of their false hopes
And my own false feelings

Spare some time to talk
And show me what's inside
I have an abundance
Of warmth to share with you

I'd love to know you more
Heart out all your cries
Your petty daily burdens
And your monthly breaking downs

I'm still here waiting
Preparing to listen
I'm not the best man in the world
But God help me I will try

So first let me know you
And let me open to you
We'll share our hopes and dreams
Would you care to try?

Would you care to try?
For once let us try

Peek Inside *demo*

Haruskah meminta izin sang rembulan
Untuk berhenti sejenak?
Haruskah rahasia yang tak terucap
Dibiarkan diam terpenjara?

Abstraksi demi abstraksi berkumandang
Bak selimut sembunyikan anak bermain petak umpet
Harap tak tersirat yang kecutkan hati
Biarlah terkubur, biarlah mati, ditelan oleh waktu dan dilupakan.

Tapi betapa rindu
'Ku duduk tenang, berbincang bebas 
Tanpa lara, tanpa sendu
Tanpa nestapa

Berbagi kata, berbagi hidup, berbagi jiwa
Larut dalam nyanyian yang tak terdengar, 
Dengan malam s'bagai saksinya
Nikmati bintang di langit bumi
Bersamamu.

Sejenak (Bersamamu)

Old songs...wrote these in 2012, sort of as alternatives to Tetramantula. Recently caught up with my old band mate in those days, and asked if he still had some of my songs. He sent me Tetramantula and this EP.

Not the proudest with these songs. Just uploading for the heck of it, seeing my musical journey from the start of writing songs.

Now, 'Nostalgia' was actually the first song that I actually wrote and finished all the way. It sounded better in my head back then. Likewise, I remember really liking 'Wings'. Now, hmm...hahaha. 

A lot of them are simply not good. Ah, youthful impulses. 

Regardless, I think I might re-record some songs here in the future. They also suffered from production issues, and some re-arranging would be very good.

Nyaman

Popular tracks