Neighbour: your grin is creepy and you’re a Sesame Street ripoff. Wally 👁️👁️👁️👁️

-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Henry Stickmin - Mancha (UBERocity)
Phil Eggtree - Fightmarker​

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, & Mason G

Produced By: Epistra

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Henry Stickmin
Vs
Phil Eggtree
Begin!

HENRY STICKMIN
The father of Newgrounds is bound to ground this unpunny Flash hack
Who thinks he can step to Stickmin, guess he hasn’t seen my clap back!
Henry chooses Gas Raps to combat Phil’s not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up to complete Madness!
I mean, you’re messing with the best mercenary since Red or Blu
My games are a blast when I bring laughs, no one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can, we know you’re not the sharpest bulb in the shed
How can you claim to have fame when you’re put to shame by another egg?
Who’s got a 98% rating on Steam? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and a whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast with each recurring scheme?
Cuz it’s not me who’s cranking sequels just to make ends meet, geez!

PHIL EGGTREE
A whole decade for your first words? I must say, I’m thrilled
In this scrap you’re getting capped, regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dollars, but got no digits on the weight scale!
So come at me, stick bug, this loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack- er, hotter than Zack, a twig’ll get snapped when I’m on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class I’d end up falling asleep on the track!
Stickmin’s just a Ghost Inmate, so there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape Prison when you’ve been surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll still be the one collecting coin, while you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics, I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those video game tie-ins, you constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on intelligence, that wasn’t very… pointy
Once I crack the case of this basketcase, then he’ll truly see-
That when it comes to tricking teachers or ditching class, I always have the key!
No Valiant Hero, you snitched on the army just to pinch more cash
Just a selfish thief with jealous deeds, I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)

HENRY STICKMIN
I toppled the Toppats, Government, Wall, you know I got the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is “bargain bin Ferris Bueller hit with a dash of Pico’s School!”
But if you really wanna compare us, I’ll serve this Egghead over easy
My countless achievements to your minor victories? Hmmm, lets see:
Small startup gains some traction, gauging YouTubers’ reactions
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction to the sweet deals that I’m packin’
Banks, Prisons, Airships, Complexes, I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new? Oh yeah! Escaped school… again...
Priceless gems? I steal em; Brighter friends? You need em
I’m Breakin’ Banks and taking tanks, you use plot holes for your freedom!
No matter what you point and click, I top your “Legacy Edition” any day
But it seems like I had no trouble “Completing the Diss-ion” anyway!

PHIL EGGTREE
This beaver’s spittin’ ‘gainst this bread crumb from the internet’s trash can-
Now after countless parodies, this rash distraction’s at his last stand
Tried to capitalize on nostalgia, relying on old, tired game cliches
While I’ve been going strong for many years and I’m still free to play! (Ay!)
Your lines are paper thin, cutting less than your “valid stingers”
I’ve seen sicker stick figure spitters come out of Salad Fingers
No matter what the timeline, that whole verse was your lamest sad jam
Mission Failed! You shoulda stuck with Charles if you wanted the Greatest Rap Plan! (Oh!)

ANNOUNCER
Who was the Flashiest?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Henry Stickmin vs. Phil Eggtree | SRB

Freshy Kanal - Donkey Kong Vs. Winston Rap Battle Ft. Titanium1208 & BluBirdVA

Freshy Kanal: The Rock vs Paperboy vs Edward Scissorhands ft. Chase Beck, Commander Jacob & Zawesome

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
Snakebite126 as Flowey the Flower
Eddiefrb as Happy Appy

Flowey the Flower:
Howdy, Appy! I'm Flowey, Appy! I would show you around here, Appy!
But this irrelevant freak is used to being underground and crappy!
You're clowning tryna out rap me, Appy!
Your show can't compare to the fear I instill,
'Cause when it comes to a track, see, Appy!
Let me tell you right here that's it's kill or be killed! (Yay!)
You're just shock horror for some worried minors,
I'll compost your shitpost as fertilizer!
You ripped off The Cove yet you can't hold a candle,
Your white van's less scary than Damn Daniеl!
You're so obscure, this Lost Soul's plot just drones on.
Thе most lame no-name John Doe fraud from Roblox!
Your roots are embedded in your meaningless gore,
It seems that this apple's rotten to the CORE!

Happy Appy:
Oh no! It looks like Flowey's having trouble with his words.
What do we need to fix this track? That's right, a Happy Rappy verse!
So now a real monster spits!
...
This one is not for kids!
...
This apple drops disses like Newton,
Or humans that foolishly dropped from cliffs!
Say I'm copying? That's low hanging fruit.
Your dev took from Earthbound and crammed it deep in your roots!
Took combat from Touhou but couldn't do it well,
I'd rather die and rot inside the Devil's realm than in your bullet hell!
Here's another one of my accurate predictions,
Big Apple drops bombs like I'm crashing a building!
With the van I'm equipped with, kids cower 'fore I kill 'em.
You spit friendliness pellets twice the pacifist Frisk is.
I won't need to be the one to pick you off,
When your dad's playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not!"
And since you wanna remain a sorrowful bloomer,
Well, I Nick'd goat mama and made some new Juniors.
I'll take this flower and slash him and split him,
Apart like the RUINS his bloodline was hit with.
Past your peak, what a tragedy the flower is wiltin'
But that's natural, children.

Flowey the Flower:
Won't take Forenziks to tell you made no imprint on your genre...
I don't even think Papyrus would enjoy your pasta!
All the preschoolers would skip through the class,
Of the Annoying Orange with a stick up his ass!
I know hip hop, hell, flow's in my name,
I'm Photoshop! You're more MS Paint...
This is it! You idiot!
You're meaningless and your show's done!
You'll remain the biggest troll to ever grace Toby's work since Homestuck!

Happy Appy:
You freaked out when Frisk spared your life,
How could you possibly Hurt Happy?
Then they turned crazy, you begged to survive!
Even for a flower, you sure are sappy.
Fun fact kids! Apple seeds contain traces of cyanide!
So about you suck my seeds and kill yourself a final time!

Flowey the Flower vs. Happy Appy - Rap Battle!

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
LongestSoloEver as Caine
Jeesh as Alastor
garbageGothic as Pomni and Bubble
RaccoonBroVA as Jax

Caine:
(Well, well!) Welcome to the global network!
Where I'm from, we dispose of errors
That are just like him! His old soul is severed!
While we're breaking records, he's a broken record!
Seven years with his head in the dirt,
He's the Radio Demon and barely gets heard!
So, what's the name for our new companion?
He could be Caine; he got sonned by Adam!
(My, my!) Pal, you try to hide your past but I can see through
All the scars behind your laugh, I know the real truth!
Before you trap other souls inside your deal rules,
Maybe you should ask your owner to let your leash loose!
I'm on air, and gravity's a choice!
When he's on air, he's trapped between the noise!
But don't you worry; he won't be our main act
We all know he's powerless when Caine snaps!

Alastor:
You look a bit jittery; lay off the JavaScript
How many times can you glitch as a party trick?
If your fans aren't in hell for liking your show, they certainly are for the art of it!
We've no vacancy for another "Oh, what if this show for kids made you scream?"
There's a place the street across that you know well,
Take him to the "Haz-bin-done-before" Hotel!
I don't even really see what the fuss is,
Your pilot gave us 25 minutes of nothing!
But YouTube is flooded with more rip-offs and hoodwinks
Guess your bootlegs made a bigger digital footprint!
Truth is, you're a bad boss, and your hack job establishment might be fucked,
Because you were given a sandbox, and yet everybody in it wants to bite the dust!
Your world is sloppy code with bad graphics!
If I made that, I'd want myself Abstracted!
Nobody wants to stay inside of your domain; it’s like your guests got web trafficked!

Caine:
I know being on camera's not your forte;
Deer in the spotlight, was caught in 4K!
(Oh no!) Now you're dead, hunting for your next job,
And for your résumé, you've already got a headshot!
Now introducing: Pomni and Jax!
Uhhh, I don't think I can rap?
Just beat him up. What?!
What's a few broken bones to him? He's used to replacing the cast!
You're a bellhop with a Karen bob, Alastor,
So please hold the door while I speak to your manager!
Because you can't run ads, you've had your chance,
But you couldn't sell Angel Dust a bag of crack! (Can I get some?)
For a killer, you're very attached to a dead industry, but you know how it goes!
Video killed the radio star, and digital killed them both! (Both, both, both, both…)

Alastor:
Listen close, you worthless scum, if you don't shut your fucking gums,
I'll soon remove and cut that tongue, then pull each tooth out one by one.
I'll have the appendages severed, the rest of the meat that is left on your body peeled,
Cooked medium-rare and presenting your guests with their first proper meal.
You understand?
I'll put your tent under maintenance
And you in a lifelong sentence of braces!
All for this high tech; who would choose it?
You're the proof that AI is ruining music!
Used Candyland for your cruel amusement,
You can't sugarcoat what you do to humans!
Maybe I'll move our hotel near your chaos,
'Cause everything will become Hell if you Stay God!

Caine vs. Alastor - Rap Battle!

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of bulky versions of fat characters; MX of the fan-made horror game Mario ‘85 versus Peter Griffin, but specifically the version of him in Fortnite. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as MX
https://www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob

Chaotic Rap Battles as Fortnite Peter
https://www.youtube.com/@ChaoticRapBattles

-LYRICS-

MX (0:14)
Hey there champ! Here’s a lesson, cuz I know dude’s dense
Roman numerals; see me and it’s too tense 
Piñata Brian? Think you look cool with that thing?
When I bash it and break it, a brace can be your next Back Bling
(Hahaha!) Tell Lois she better glance now
She’ll only see your face with the other clouds in the background
Kids going in debt for V-Bucks with credit cards
Is the only way innocence gets you far

Peter (0:34)
Guess I’m the pizza guy; I’ll make you drool from this round
You got too many teeth; I’ll put a tool in your mouth
Yeah! The ratchet’ll make this ugly and it ain’t even Meg
You’re really rapping with some dogshit; D-MX (what!)
Screw Stewie, I’m off of the fat shit
I’m shooting when someone Snooty Steppes into my mansion
Aim a .5 at ‘85, it’s too late for rebrandin’
This PC port's gonna glitch when the MAC clicks

MX (0:55)
Meowscles tried to make you mad swole
You gave up so hard, you should put your shirt on this flagpole
Without the old Slurp Juice shrinking your pants size
How could you escape? You wouldn’t fit in the damn pipes
In The Society you’re what, 5th wheeling?
So I’ll melt your fucking skin if you’re tryna get Peely
Your old fights? This one’s incredibly different
Cuz now you’re the chicken and it’ll end in an instant
f you got a shotgun, why do you need to poorly scope in
I'll run this level back and forth… you're still reloadin’
Post-nerf, you’d need hundreds of your medallions
They’ll know the exact location your body can be found in
Seizure got you foaming at the mouth; guess you can’t make the leaks brake
I’m hurting you more than some knee pain
False Hero, not Mario. You’ll heat up with how dark I go (wahoo!)
Witness my true form if you really want the smoke

Peter (1:35)
A short horror game that’s 8-bit?
This reminds me of the time when everyone else did the same shit
I’ve gotta wonder; damn, how’d they conceive ya?
Someone saw the Sonic version and ran… out of ideas
Want that hammer back? I’ll blam your temple!
Momentum drops as you flicker out: Super Mario Bros. Special (hehehe)
If FNF was anything to be informed by
You're any day of the week, I'm the whole fortnight
Smack you with my butt scratcher; got an itch, guy?
Carry-All kinda types of straps, I’m clicking when the clip's dry
But I got muscles; I could take you in a fist fight
So what I'm asking is which type of arm will make this bitch die?
Your big update added 1-2 and that’s it?
Jeez, must’ve bashed your head through too many bricks
My knee’s one thing, but your always getting your ankle rolled
Herbert! That’s what you get for obsessing over 8 year olds

-CREDITS-

Written, directed, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Additional writing help by Dilly
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by 2Deep

Feedback by Danii, Dilly, Fightmarker, Freshy Kanal, TheMonarchy, TheBabyBeef, 01Tyler10, and the spaceship
Shoutout to Luke Reardon, Swizkii, and Zawesome

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Fortnite Peter Griffin vs Mario '85 | Lame-Ass Rap Battles

Not mine, this audio belongs to GamingPlush64
Mr. Tibbs as The Neighbor
GamingPlush64 as Wally Darling

The Neighbor:
Get off my lawn, kid. I think you mistook me
Be it browsers or the scouts, I'm not interested in cookies
Don't ask me for a cup of sugar, you little poser
I'll choke you out like cinnamon; stick your grin up on simming posters
Rip you open; have you swimming with the fishes on the second floor
Get your corpse, and then trash you like Oscar
Scummy muppet, I'll be blunt, I will not be less hostile
Just because the net's bananas for your fruity ass roster
I see a home invader. There's tomatoеs, glue and bear traps at their feet
You'd invitе 'em in and use 'em just to stare at, like a creep! (Urghh)
Theres only one track that's fit for Wally
And it's wrapping 'round my house; strap him in the patch of my trolly!
I don't care about your show, and I don't care how your paintings look
I know your episodes ain't running, but I think you maybe should
I'm no Mr Rogers, I'll off you if you're in Raven Brooks
Get back in your home and get the fuck outta my neighbourhood

Wally Darling:
Hello Neighbor
How are you today?
Have you finally ceased from your screaming fit?
Well, here's the sitch
I've had this on lock before you even clicked
Don't even need to part my lips and...
I eat the beat up quick
Believe me, Mr. Peterson, I know who I am dealing with;
A clown who's house looks like it was ripped out of Dr. Seuss...
Or was it Edith Finch?
Ha, ha... I forgot the words...
Maybe that's why we're paired; everyone forgot who we were
Your angry barking's almost as funny as Barnaby
But it went down hill like your Betas; the numbers are hard to read
I think someone's just upset their games ain't getting them views
Or you're jealous that I dress as a better devil than you (Ooh)
I'm the host! I'm the most! I'm the Goat! Like I'm Baphomet!
My guestbook's at its limits. Say, are you enjoyed by MatPat yet?
Not so beautiful dreamer. Deluded to think you stay giant
Just close your eyes, and next time you see me?
Stay quiet

The Neighbor:
I'd get my keys and my BB gun locked and loaded
Spritz your index down like windex, leaving all your windows broken
Hit you with my car, smoke you like your cigarette packets
But all it takes to crash your page is internet traffic!
Your Build is Tiny when compared to my contract
Lemme get a shovel; give you more than eye contact
No restoration project's gonna aid Pinnochio
When you're six feet under my property
How's that for "so below"?

Wally Darling:
You just kept adding stories. A new one every time we blink
Yet the highest praise you get was: "that's good... I think..."
Maybe stay away from cars: last time you drove, your wife was slaughtered
And then, like our own fallen star, your son pushed down your daughter! (Oh!)
I've got friends at every end; you've no one left to love you
Even if you think I'm garbage, it still means I rise above you
This AI tried adapting, but again, he got outsmarted
Homie, your house just ain't hard enough
Home is where the heart is!

Hello Neighbor vs. Welcome Home. DGPRB.

Not mine, this audio belongs to GamingPlush64
RedMufflerMan‬ as Alastor
Nathan Wagner as Tony the Talking Clock

Alastor:
Salutations to the sinners of hell!
I hope you're all tuned in and listening well,
Our program can cause jaws to drop,
What could be more entertaining than watching the clock?
Once again he interrupts a favorite show for wayward souls,
He isn't prime time, That label's for the radio show!
Guess it's time to tell the time,
Just who he has come to fight,
Like you did to Yellow Guy, I will end your fucking life!

Tony the Talking Clock:
Time is a way that we measure progression,
With the way you waste it, I bеt you'll be second,
I'm minute to win it, my linеs are hot,
Your vocab's filthy, frankly it's Time to Stop!
I am a ruler so don't get it backwards, This goes just one way,
With you withered and grey at the end of the day,
Times up, you have met your end.
Shut you up for good with a MEH! MEH! MEH!

Alastor:
Mmm, I do not believe that screaming loud was in the deal...
My ears are bleeding, now I know how your victims feel!
The Clock was meant to shock but he's soft when he delivers,
When I grab the mic, you'll find my words are unfiltered,
Let's give a "big hand" to old Becky and Joe,
It's quite an achievement to be getting a show!
And yet I've been told OH, when checking for Tony,
He was found broken and dead in the cold! (how sad!)
Summoned by Roy for his son to be slaughtered,
But you must know, I never suck up to fathers!
Fuck you, Tony. Nothing you brought hertz!
By the end of this, You'll be running like clockwork.

Tony the Talking Clock:
Swinging at me with a chain on your soul?
That's par for the course for this ace in the hole,
The radio hammed up his act,
But there is always Time for Understanding the facts!
Time made your appearance change ever since the pilot,
I wish the same could be said about your writing,
You paid the price for spending Time mucking around,
When an angel dusted you and you ducked in the ground!
Now we can see the unimportance of Alastor!
He's always been the same, Unchanging like the calendar!
This deer lost his head trying to rag off this doll,
And now he's a tool you can hang on the wall.

Alastor vs. Tony the Talking Clock. DGPRB.

Suction Cup Man • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

Hey, I wrote you a song!

“Suction Cup Man’s coming around and you know he’s getting lit!
Stinkermeaner’s a whiny old little bitch who ain’t getting shit!”
Now typically, I leave dummies like my cups; red as shit
But honestly, you’re more like a plunger, cus you can’t get a grip! (YUH!)

So whadday ya, gay? Why did you step on those jays and then ask for a run back? 
Had the crowd shouting ya name, then you got sent to your grave? (heh) DUMBASS
You tried to walk up until Robert rocked you, now ya soul went to hell saying “look at me go!”
The difference between you and me going under? The devils not currently FUCKING MY SOUL

Stinkmeaner • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

White boys mocking my shit, y’all mad at me? they can suck my dick 
Buddy ain’t climbing the ranks, cus ya climbings rank, imma tower all over yo shit
I’m not a villain, I’m a cancer that got cancer, now I’m stuck
You really picking fights with the handicapped? bros ableist…BUT I’M ABLE TO FUCK HIM UP

(AY, AY) Bro’s washed like Cinch (AY, AY) The fuck did you think?
(AY, AY) Can’t call me gay, when you filled all the holes in your life with dicks!
Rippin’ off South Park, shit couldn’t be me, boy, I look too clean, nobody can stop it
Since you like to blow missiles, come and climb my red rocket!

Suction Cup Man • Verse 2: (8 Bars)

(Oh-ho-ho-ho!) Don’t do-si-do with ME, Grandpa, professional hating’s ya damn job
I can do anything, fuck the damn law! Bitch, you struggle with putting ya pants on!
And like honestly, unc, what the fuck is ya problem? You go around screaming out “fuck life!”
You’re a dick! *strumming* so why don't ya suck mine!!! (BITCH!)

Suction Cup Man can’t be remade or replaced by the CIA (YUH!)
While you were recreated in a day and not one thing changed (NOPE!)
So come back with a better plan, cus I can NEVER get smoked (NEVER!)
Till then, I’ll see ya when I’m back in Hell: LOOK AT ME GO! (HAHAHA!)

Stinkmeaner • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

You sung yo sawn song but I want an encore, RUN IT BACK!
‘Fore I strum that ukulele a full note up ya’ ass!
Trust there’s layers to this shit, cus on a track, I’m mixing
I got moves like Mike Tyson, you got beat by a pigeon! 

Should’ve stuck to plushie, ya big softie, now I’ll leave you open
Barbecue a flank of unseasoned meat, cus boy, I’ll freakin’ smoke ‘em
I ain’t NEVER lost a single battle yet, and that’s on fonum
Never put a white boy ‘gainst a DEMON in a nigga moment! (ya BITCH!)

Well fuck you! 
The fuck? Fuck you!
Fuck you too!
Fuck you three!
Wha-you can’t just steal my schtick, fuck you!
Aww you gonna get mad? Fuck you!
…
…
ya motha’

Stinkmeaner vs. Suction Cup Man • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

Stick to the Script

jus been sitting in the vault bout 6 months

Hello Neighbor vs. Welcome Home. DGPRB.

Jose

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