heylog♡

produced by heylog

lyrics:
we went through a lot of ups and downs
yet you still stayed close to my side
we often dug straight to the ground
you don't know what i look like now
just a number in my phone
i'll love you the most
march is a horrible month
why's it always cold
spent the end to cry
i miss you every night
don't call me when you see this
i'll hit decline
i don't look the same
as i used to
is this a bad thing
log, i don't know you
i don't look the same
like before
and i don't recognize myself
anymore

2 weeks 'till i go home
can't wait to see you, oh
october is when you go
now things are coming to
an end

she'll only love me if i just love myself
but baby with you i felt things i don't feel
i couldn't imagine to feel someone else
the thought of it always gets me overwhelmed
i hate separating from people i love
but i go forever without anyone
i will go for days and not say any words
you won't hear from me cause i sit back and lurk
closing the drapes to block out any light
the things that i do i would never advise
it's so bad for me and hm, i wonder why
growing more acne and i'm not surprised
don't look at me, please don't look at my face
the way that you stare makes me humiliate
i swear i get uglier
i don't look the same
you won't recognize me by how much i've changed
changed

spotify

update failed

produced by heylog

lyrics:
fiending
oh you're always fiending
for something to catch a feeling
no, you don't take it easy
you're grieving
deleting
cause ur not receiving 
the guy who gives you meaning
it just ends up depleting
you need me

my hair is getting longer and mom says i need to cut it off
today i'm gonna pull it back or maybe i should let it fall
or maybe i should let it fall

my hair is getting longer and mom says i need to cut it off
today i'm gonna pull it back or maybe i should let it fall
i'm looking at the pane and see a kid i don't recognize at all
you think i'm in a crisis but this is my life inside a ball
but i am not the one to be crying over some bullsh-
i'm trying to be a man for a girl who is the purist
and i believe that's only achieved through work and purpose
but at the very end of the day it'll be worth it
so what'd you say you come tag along to a journey
i'll be your protector, you won't have to worry
will you believe in me if i focus and try
i'll do what it takes to give you a better life

i assume your brain still has developing to do
no one cares about my feelings and neither do you
only difference i don't post them, you fiend off replies
absorbing it like energy to mentally survive
you're fiending
oh you're always fiending
for something to catch a feeling
no, you don't take it easy
you're grieving
deleting
because you're not receiving
the guy who gives you meaning
it just ends up depleting
you need me
the letters i would write
could form into a book
when turning every page
seem to be overlooked
so when you read the words
imagine you are me
tearing paper
and grinding your teeth

oh i was always there
too bad i ain't here
go cry, well life ain't fair
it's not like i don't care
but oh my, i'm bad at saying no
but i don't wanna be a problem if i'm holding on
oh my, now you wanna complain
baby i'm not gonna put up with that for very long
for long

teeth II

produced by heylog 

lyrics:
I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY
notice how it falls in deeper
deeper
oh, it goes deeper
know that i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer
EVERYTHING'S ABOUT YOU AND THE REST
BUT I GOT TO GO WITHOUT YOU CAUSE IT'S BEST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL CROSS PATHS SOMEWHERE ELSE
I HATE THAT THESE THOUGHTS ARE WHERE I DWELL

notice how i fall in deeper
deeper
oh, i go deeper
baby, i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer

𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵
𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘪 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭

i don't say enough prayer
or kneel beside the bed
i ask on some nights
to see you again
i didn't find anything
or see any signs
unless they were right in front of me this whole time
i hate that all of my friends
live so far away
it's very lonely
and it's so cliche
i like thinking of you
i do it a lot
why give attention to something that's forever gone?

I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY

healer

produced by heylog

lyrics:
let me show you how to act right
if you listened it would define
just the type of person u are
it doesn't matter what you go by
cause you'll always be the same person
and you'll always be one of the worst friends
you always were the one to go
when i thought i could count on u the most

lesson learned, don't hold your grudge
even if it could lose someone
hate to know the truth be told
now everything is overthrown

do u wonder where u come from?
picturing at what you've really done
does it affect the way you see your arch?
do they look at you less than what you are?
cause you've always been the same person
and you've always fought the urge to sin
& goodluck tryna get me back
at 2am it kills you bad

no, you messed with the wrong person
yeah you messed with the wrong
you messed it up on purpose
yeah you messed it up
hopefully lesson learned 
i hope a lesson here was learned
i did what i had to do man
and in all honesty 
you're hurting

continue

produced by heylog

lyrics:
no one
no faith
spacing
as i lie awake
when i see you then
i promise i won't leave again
woke up in terror, i'm feeling confused
cover my mouth as i just heard the news
how can it be?
how can it be true?
why god, do you take the things i love most
why's it the people who feel like a home
holding back tears
until i let go
facing
toward green
outside, you're all i see
i miss your praise
no matter what, you'd always stay
with me
i need to ease on the brakes
i feel my heart in my chest
i can't control cause it aches
and no one's feeling their best
and i'm not taking it light
you felt like my only friend
who'd be with me through the night
and be with me till the end
and i have so much to say
but at the same time i don't
all of it hurts in a way
that i can't even control
it comes and goes in a wave
and everytime it's unknown
and none of this is okay
i'd rather break every-
following footprints and trails
sunlight shines right through the trees
see beauty in each detail
please say that you're just hiding
no one
no faith
spacing
as i light awake
when i see u then
i promise i won't leave again
facing
toward green
outside, ur all i see
i miss you a lot
one of a kind
and filled with love

footprints & trails

produced by heylog

lyrics:
SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FACE AND SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIES
IT'S GIVING ME THIS HATE THAT I CANNOT SUBSIDE
DON'T EXPECT ME TO SAY ANYTHING TO YOU
WE'RE THROUGH
SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FACE AND SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIES
IT'S GIVING ME THIS HATE THAT I CANNOT SUBSIDE
DON'T EXPECT ME TO SAY ANYTHING TO YOU
WE'RE THROUGH
YOU'RE SO DISRESPECTFUL TOWARD ME IN RETURN
YOU ACTUALLY EXPECTED I WOULD COME TO TERMS
AFTER YOU TURNED YOUR BACK
DID YOU CARE I WAS HURT
I'M HURT
I WON'T EVER TAKE OR SEE YOU SERIOUS
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME LATELY NOW YOU'RE CURIOUS
LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE I WANT NO ONE AT ALL
I'M ALL I GOT
look at me when ur afraid
everything u see is grey
I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE
WHAT YOU PUT ON ME, IT GAVE
AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHO I WAS THEN AND WHAT I AM NOW
CAUSE I WAS SO STUPID BACK THEN, NOW I'M CONSTANTLY RAISING A BROW

something about your face and something about your eyes
that fumes me everyday and charges up inside
oh you built up this hate and beef i have with you
we're through

afraid

produced by heylog

lyrics:
can't u ever be nice
you don't have to think twice
in the moment each time that i run away
in the end it's your fault
really gave you my all
u don't have to be a problem toward me anyway

there's much more to life than going out
spend saturday night dead on the ground
𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵
I HIGHLY DOUBT YOUR FATHER'S EVEN PROUD
JUST ANOTHER WHORE FOLLOWING THE CROWD
broken glass, the bottles enticing
she told me her sign is a pisces
𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
do i look like someone who even cares
𝘯𝘰 𝘨𝘰𝘥
you and i would never pair
already off on the wrong path
ur such an idiot, hope you know that
i used to find you cute but now ur trash
you can change but na you can't change ur past
text me, on your end it's open
but you don't know it
you don't know i ghosted
for once, take accountability
always excuses, please
you are disgust to me
there’s much more to life than blacking out
spend almost every weekend on the ground
i smell the alcohol stench in ur mouth
there ain’t a single to be proud of

can't u ever be nice
you don't have to think twice
in the moment each time that i run away
in the end it's your fault
really gave you my all
u don't have to be a problem toward me anyway
𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘦
𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦

trash

guitars done by @prodjpjp
rest produced by heylog

lyrics:
starving now, it gets pretty bad
you saw it all get split in half
about every bridge has been collapsed
old friends of mine slowly detached
i think it's all my fault
questioning if i'm wrong
how do i make it stop
can't rest at all

one call was all i needed
right now, i feel completed
2019 is over
been four years and got lower
though, for me it stood out
bleed to just hear one sound
i'd die to hear that noise
the calmness of your voice
i knew how it'd turn out
soon you'd be leaving town
and i couldn't bare that thought
was hard to move on
32 degrees, lungs get colder by the second
been through hell and out
it's like there's some type of obsession
wondering the choice you made if you've ever regret it
if you gotta say something why don't you come confess it
everytime you mention how, i need to find me
don't know what ur tryna say
don't know what u mean
i think ur just saying words
you're just saying things
even you confuse yourself
you don't know what to think
the reason why i live is to hope for a day
to finally see guidance leading ur way
wonder how to start, wonder where i go
all of it requires leaving my home
been through a bit and so much has gone
you don't gotta be sorry if i went through a lot
i can see us starting a family
i think it's the only thing that'll help me

starving now, it gets pretty bad
you saw it all get split in half
about every bridge has been collapsed
old friends of mine slowly detached
i think it's all my fault
questioning if i'm wrong
how do i make it stop
can't rest at all
heart's pounding strong
been up for hours
the sun's almost up
like how do i do it
she say, "where you been"
no where
just haven't checked my phone to use it
it's all gone down in carnage
debris in my lungs
wake up, feel like garbage
and get my yeti cup
i'm obsessed, pop a can of caffeine
even 300mg can barely do a thing to me

carnage

'paranoid' produced by heylog

lyrics:
we go and hike in the woods
what a perfect place to be
all my troubles behind
no sign of reality
i could live here and build
a shelter out of trees
say goodbye to the world
no electricity
the way the sun hits the water
i swear i see god himself
i feel shame, i feel hurt
it's like i'm somebody else
i try to hide but it's not
gonna help or save me
cover up all the shame
like adam and eve

i intimidate her
i think she's scared of me
cause your biggest fear is that i'll leave
and then you'll carry on
like nothing happened
and then you'll think about me one night and leech in
why don't you try me
i'm always hiding
i'm like a needle in a haystack, u won't find me
my teeth, i'm grinding
feel like i'm flying
i told you once, i'll say again you'll never find me

hanging out down by the creek
couple deer following me
if i stop to look at them they just stand there as if they freeze
why haven't they ran away?
figured they wouldn't have stayed
hear some branches crack behind now i'm paranoid of this place
look to my left and my right
check my shoulder one more time
maybe i'm a schizophrenic, i be fearing for my life
you hear that, you hear the tones?
i'm convinced i'm not alone
maybe i'll go deeper in the forest to find out if i'm pyscho

we go and hike in the woods
what a perfect place to be
all my troubles behind
no sign of reality
i could live here and build
a shelter out of trees
say goodbye to the world
no electricity
the way the sun hits the water
i swear i see god himself
i feel shame, i feel hurt
it's like i'm somebody else
i try to hide but it's not
gonna help or save me
cover up all the shame
like adam and eve

paranoid

'blinded by the sun' produced by heylog

lyrics:
you are every place i'm at, everywhere i look
what was it i said that made you this shook
i'm just telling the truth and you knew i would
don't interrupt me while i'm tryna cook
this is life
please don't cry
you're in tears
and you're worried i'm to fear
what was it i said that made you this way
everything we had now is down the drain
oh and god i don't feel the need to explain
when family asks about you i feel the pain
feel the pain

this ain't what i expected
i'm learning to accept it
it figures when i move on
you come back with aggression
who do you think u are
to appear whenever you want
do you think that's how this works
the situations now worse

𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦?

𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰?

𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘺𝘦𝘦 𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦 𝘦  𝘦𝘦 𝘦 𝘦

why'd you make it worse than it had to be
only if u knew how i felt right then
when i see your name i barely can breathe
might as well just consider me a wretch

i hope i fall asleep and never wake
i always see u there and it feels safe
oh no please body don't u dare wake up
i'm in heaven and blinded by the sun

blinded by the sun

'12 gauge' produced by heylog

lyrics:
moving swift, moving clean
all my thrift big on me
and i look goofy when i see
order double in xl
when my body lean as hell
and it's all because i'm well
maybe i should get clothes
that i fit for my size
there are barely i own
jacket got holes in it
but ima still throw it on
cause i don't care if it's ripped
you'll never know
you'll never know
where she had went and where'd she go
i wanna leave
i wanna leave
i wonder what is stopping me
she loves borrowing my wardrobe
said i smell good, so you wear all of my clothes
and they come back smelling like her
next thing u know she has my whole attire

i'll wait 
till u make ur mind up
she wants 
everything i wear cause
all of 
it is oversized
the sleeves are 
well below her thighs
don't take 
every single thing i own
cause i'll 
need it back before u go
and she 
wonders why i said that
i'm not 
confident that this'll last

you ever think about where i been?
you ever think about who we was
cause i do
but i just pretend i don't care about us
she's always apologetic to me
but when did u ever do anything
cause i don't
i hope u will never forget about home

and she always tried on my clothes
i pretend and fake it all
what u don't know
oh, you don't know
keeping secrets way too long
and i cannot continue this
i'm struggling to exist
and u don't know
oh, you don't know
thoughts begin to overflow
you would ask for an extra large to wear
but i only have double x in there
oh but she'll wear anything that i give
so next time i'll come over with ur cares

shutting me down, wake up from rem
i had a dream of us both laying in bed
but when i woke up i thought that it was real
i tried to go back to sleep to get a feel
of what it was like again to see your eyes
i knew it was impossible if i tried
now i'm just laying here, eyelids open
i stare into darkness tryna see objects
the only thing i see is my closet ahead
the same one that bears a certain turtle neck
the same closet thats got my 'retta encaged
the same closet thats got my locked up 12 gauge
and here are these nights i spend alone
turn off the lights, open window
jump into bed, plug in my phone
when i still got 90% left to go
and i fall asleep, but before i do
i sit in silence for an hour or two
these vivid thoughts get into view
and this what it sound like when i dream of you

12 gauge

'empty roads, she's beautiful' produced by heylog

lyrics:
you see me, walk out the door
ice, freezing n storms
pray i make it home
late a.m n roads
you see me
moving along
and this is where i belong
no she don't want me home
late on empty roads

highway, empty roads
pass through constructed zones
heading straight at storms
and she's so beautiful

these dark empty roads
are filled with traffic cones
they always took so long
a patient drive back home

on empty roads
empty roads

empty roads, she's beautiful

'running shoes' produced by heylog

lyrics:
ima run away until i'm weak
ima come back fighting for my peace
hiding out, i hide inside the weeds
you won't hear from me for a few weeks
the things you say never make any sense
gotta stop the mind to second guess
ignoring my gut, it's for the best
battling to get up out of bed

ima find my way back home
streetlights barely lit
and the colors aren't even the same
some are powerless
6: 30 a mile, used to be better than this
why am i getting this tired
no i cannot call it quits
seems like you think that everything was gonna be okay
what i need is me to tell me i'll be okay
look at the ground
look at my feet as my shoes tear
the soles are falling apart
order up a new pair

𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥

get in the zone
need to be alone to focus
not any hoe you see me ever approaching
not worth my time
feel my mind boot and decoding
gather any info whether i should keep or close it
you see me
walk out the door
ice, freezing n storms
pray i make it home
late a.m. n roads
hallucinate, seeing two
punching at the air
squinting at black and grey
when the night is there
the smell of fall provides warmth
fingers in my hair
think too deep and it could end at there
think i'm fine, i'm just in too deep
go outside to run hoping the stress leaves me
i'm painting what i see
you couldn't predict at what i might bring

running shoes

'into the wind' produced by heylog

lyrics:
on my last little bit of breath
will i make it to the final stretch
but the wind has something for me instead
bones break and every single muscle group
feels torn apart, skin is turning blue
and i cannot comprehend on what hurts
seems like i did a little bit too much
pushing my limits way too far above
way too far above
the wind before winter is like getting punched
and i ain't got any spit left under my tongue
under my tongue
the wind blows on a tuesday
do you think we'll make it, what do you say
i've been away from home now for a few days
and it got to living like i'm in a new age
standing in the wind, i know it's cold out
2 somethin the morning, it's a ghost town
conscious telling me i should probably go now
cause as soon as the wind stops there ain't no sound

this ain't nothing light and nothing small or subtle breeze
just shows how much force the wind can put resist on me
run i'm almost there, i'm so so close, aheads the fin
head down, forward movement, running straight into the wind
into the wind, into the wind

into the wind

'gravel' produced by heylog

(instrumental)

gravel

produced by heylog

lyrics:
baby i am goin
goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
goin goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
(2x)

i no longer am vacant
thank the lord i made it out alive
i was never complacent
but i heard i was sticking in your mind
even if that wasn't true
ain't nobody stoppin you
split my brain in half, in two
i hate that i gotta leave you

baby i am goin
goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
goin goin goin
i'm goin
know it know it know it
just know it
(2x)

bullseye

produced by heylog

lyrics:
when my body's lying in place
every memory of you now awakes
the road was stable, now it's rough
cause i'm starting to let u back up
i'm fine
at least i tried
bright light
your piece of mind
i am okay
you wanna see what i'm made of
i'm not the same
you wanna see what i'm capable of
i start to feel like nothing
why does everything slip through my hands
people think i'm sad but bitch i'm not
it just looks like i am
can't go out 
i look like i got eczema all down my face
every time i sweat it starts to sting
even with tallow paste
flare up, then get better, do it all over again
red around the center, i'm not tryna screw with it
you don't even wanna know what it's like being me
every second always stressed and always worrying
i rest your soul by my side
cause i know i'll sleep just fine
i barely see anyone
if it's just you i don't mind
i'm upstairs makin some sounds
na this mixed never too loud
want this shit piercing my ears
until it rings so severe
until it

flare

over distorted waste of time
prod heylog

lyrics:
you feel the pain?
what you trying
what you sayin?
bitch say my name
go on, do it
say it loud
let them know we're not the

same
we're not the same

i'm on my own
all i do is move in silence
i don't need to talk
i advance while bein quiet
so
in my head nothing but violence
pray to God he'll bring me peace
and show me lightness yeah

pray God for my peace
pray for enemies

i wanna be dead
so i can hear the angels cry
why am i seeing red
shut up, now is not the time
help me to relax
cause right now i could kill someone
i got a list of rats
and i do not need a gun
i wanna be dead
so God's standing before my eyes
i'm sorry for my sins
i can't control myself sometimes
me? could not forgive
the list of people i would kill
why think like this
the fight to keep my mental still

i feel awake
why you cryin
why you shakin
those follows fake?
WE'RE NOT THE-
heard you barking like a bitch
make them sit
we're not the

same
we're not the same

prod by heylog

lyrics:
there's just something about driving away from your house
you cried in my arms cause i gotta go now
when you touch my skin, i go numb cause of it
your hand on my face, narrow waist on my hips
i don't know why i'm like this
i'm not open minded
i'm filled up with hate
but you keep me sane
she looks up and listens
and she likes submitting
i got you, it's fine
i'll give us a life

there's just something about walking out of your house
you stood at the stairs, i know you'll miss me now
your nails touch my skin, i go numb cause of it
your lips on my mouth and your waist on my hips
god this feelings amazing
the smell of your fragrance
lingers in my room
it makes me miss you
the ripples and dents
you won't bleed again
i got you, it's fine
i'll give you a life

mouth

produced by heylog

lyrics:
tread light, proceed with caution
months passed, i missed the pollen
carry weight that slowly turns to rust
and i'm thinking "what could've been done?"
wonder what's in the deep end
jump off, i swim for a reason
this the worst place i could ever go
and i sleep like "what could i have known"
residue
slip if i'm not using chalk
dirty wounds keep burning from the salt
come with me only if you're not opposed
i'm paranoid
is there something i should know

what is there to know (7x)
WHAT IS THERE TO KNOW (2x)

keep thinking i'm being stalked
i'm convinced i'm being watched
if that's true, i hope it's not
can't believe the time is up

shh

you're too late
that was the best i've felt
i'm so sorry i couldn't contain myself
i say things some would probably hate me for
just know i'm not here when you're at the door
i left a note
did you bother to look
someone had to plant their foot
just understand 
if i see another bird
come toward me, i'm pulling up the dirt

i got the remote
i'm now under control
toggle emote
and hit the swish like free throw
i'm not too bright
it's interesting what i know though
i pinched a nerve
but that snake had to go
man down
that's an elim
look bro, you gotta see this
feels like playin reload
the whole damn lobby on my penis
i'm starting to feel bad
you suck at making decisions
cast out, then reel back
maybe there's something i'm missing
i got no time, put it all way past me
i'm out of the loop, couldn't care what is happening
europe flight, got to finish up packing
lord these cathedral faces are dazzling
no time for none of that
it's day here while you're sleepin
i got a flight to catch
PROVIDE THE FOOD AND FEED EM
I CAN'T LET ANYONE STARVE
PISS OFF IF YOU ARE A LARP
NOTHING BUT DIRT TO ME NOW
AND THAT'S COMING FROM THE HEART

heylog♡

hearteater