Hey little new... so I'm alone on my bed... where you... are glitching my head.

Little New

A little subtle something for all of you (perhaps not the younger listeners) to remind us winter won't forever be.

Summer

Walkabout

Written and performed as part of a set of 52 audio adventures for Fruit-tella's Halloween Hotel Alexa Skill.
Audio mix by Charlie Tatham: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlie-tatham/

Children's - R.P. & Eastern European

Fantasy - Celtic characters, American narration

Non-fiction - my native voice

Scottish Accent - Close 3rd Narration

Campy Comedy - M & F voices - Various British Accents

Brooding Thriller - 1st Person Narration - Male Characters

Horror - Southern US accents - rough

My voice

Historical - M & F - English & Spanish

A novel by Carrie Cotten, directed and produced by myself under my company, Windstep. Narrated by myself and the amazing Eilidh Beaton. Audiobook out now on Spotify and Audible.

The Huntress - Trailer

A little dedication to the south coast of England.

Real Ales and Thai Cuisine

Last Spring, the Spring went slow
and held on like an applecart unfilled.
And all was bedroom angst
and back of bar depravity.
That was a cold long spring for me.

You stood apart and smiled;
I underwent lobotomies of faith.
And all was bedroom hands;
icewalk survival as a trial.
Pity the peace of a stolen child.

Applecarts

A slice-of-life. Rain, Radio 4 and the most wonderful company.

Morning Cuddles

Why waste lives waiting around on smartphones for love to arive? Look around a garden and learn its lessons.

--- Lyrics, 2019

So now the days are getting dirty
With early nights and all the rain
You hide your flirt inside a jersey
You wonder if you’ll flirt again
But as you gaze into the garden
You catch a look at all the slugs
A thought it hits you of a sudden
That you’re surrounded by the love,
rummage in the mud,
check on all the cuddles in the rubble cos
The bugs are getting freaky in the shrubs.

All in a slither are the wormies
Up for a snuggle and rub
A daddy long-legs got up early
To find himself a ladybug
Atop the tree there are the squirrels
And squirreled up there is a snug
They get together for a wiggle
And never fail to check the nuts
You can’t avoid the smut
there’s consummated marriages in cabbages
The bugs are getting freaky in the shrubs.

The horny fishes of the ocean
The fox’s yowl is never done
A pigeon’s fluttering commotion
Your cat is off to meet a Tom
A little Labrador is dreaming
Of getting out to sniff a bum
I heard that humans are misleading
But speaking only there for some
Not all of are dumb
The Disneyland of marriage is a sabotage
We ought to just get freaky in the shrubs.

There they sit on their bums all day
Tik-tok-swiping their life away
Not one kiss on their lips as they wish where
Happiness is – I say
Who cares the weather or the day you
just need another and your love
(You should get freaky in the shrubs).

So there’s a moral to the story
That this old life is for the loved
I will not wait til you implore me
I’d rather push than be the shoved
And so if love is for the living
I’ll live it every way I got
I know that nettles aren’t forgiving
But nor is waiting for your lot
This one aint for the gods
So disregard your morals in the puddles
Cos we ought to just get freaky in the shrubs.

Getting Freaky In The Shrubs

Boring Love - Musical Theatre (Solo + Piano)

Drum And Bass Hour

Calamity Cooks is a wonderful service by my wonderful acting friends Jules and Tracy. It's run out of Jules's kitchen and caters especially for the elderly struggling for food during lockdown. Jules is an amazing cook so if you're near Wimborne Minster, Dorset, and feeling peckish. Give them a call!

www.calamitycooks.co.uk

Calamity Cooks!

An evening prayer for sailor's drifting darkly.

Turn up loud. Feel that pitch and toss!

A Sailor's Prayer

Poetry, songs and some storytelling to boot!
to watch: https://www.youtube.com/user/joshuaward1991
to buy: joshuawardmusic.bandcamp.com

Joshua Ward

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