Hey little new... so I'm alone on my bed... where you... are glitching my head.

Little New

A place that has a now, near mythical sense of home to me. But I'll always be a tourist. Priddy, Somerset - on high atop the Mendip hills.

Priddy

Had the honour, but very difficult job, of writing a song for the best friend of my cousin. A serial publican, good soul as well as wife, mother and centre of a loving family, this was to be a song for her,  her children and husband (who she called her 'dragon') as well as for friends to remember her by. Her catchphrase and ethos was 'get up and get on'. She passed away a few weeks back and this played at her funeral. Fly high x

Get Up And Get On (Emma's song)

Written and performed as part of a set of 52 audio adventures for Fruit-tella's Halloween Hotel Alexa Skill.
Audio mix by Charlie Tatham: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlie-tatham/

Children's - Spooky, Melodramatic - Russian & R.P

Extract from The Queen's Priest by Theresa Abell Haynes

Historical Fiction, Intrigue - Spanish / Southern English

Fantasy, High Tension - American / Irish / Scottish / Welsh

Southern Gothic Horror, Husky - Assorted Southern U.S.A. accents / Neutral American

Comedy (male and female voices), laconic, dry - R.P. English / Lancastrian / MLE / Chelsea

Gentle, Articulate Nonfiction - Southern UK Neutral

Ahh dystopias. Acid rain and knives under velvet. I love this close-to-mic narration style. Enjoy!

Dystopian, Grimdark, Hardboiled, Assorted British Accents

From Carrie Cotten's novel, The Huntress.

Scottish Narration (Medieval Fantasy)

Last Spring, the Spring went slow
and held on like an applecart unfilled.
And all was bedroom angst
and back of bar depravity.
That was a cold long spring for me.

You stood apart and smiled;
I underwent lobotomies of faith.
And all was bedroom hands;
icewalk survival as a trial.
Pity the peace of a stolen child.

Applecarts

A piece born atop an improvisation on my 90-year-old dying piano. Inspired by China, Scottish Folk and my time as a chorister at Bath Abbey.

Sounds were made from objects around the house - candlestick holders, crystal glasses and beer bottles! I hope you enjoy.

Summer at The Spring Palace

Put Some Clothes On

Why waste lives waiting around on smartphones for love to arive? Look around a garden and learn its lessons.

--- Lyrics, 2019

So now the days are getting dirty
With early nights and all the rain
You hide your flirt inside a jersey
You wonder if you’ll flirt again
But as you gaze into the garden
You catch a look at all the slugs
A thought it hits you of a sudden
That you’re surrounded by the love,
rummage in the mud,
check on all the cuddles in the rubble cos
The bugs are getting freaky in the shrubs.

All in a slither are the wormies
Up for a snuggle and rub
A daddy long-legs got up early
To find himself a ladybug
Atop the tree there are the squirrels
And squirreled up there is a snug
They get together for a wiggle
And never fail to check the nuts
You can’t avoid the smut
there’s consummated marriages in cabbages
The bugs are getting freaky in the shrubs.

The horny fishes of the ocean
The fox’s yowl is never done
A pigeon’s fluttering commotion
Your cat is off to meet a Tom
A little Labrador is dreaming
Of getting out to sniff a bum
I heard that humans are misleading
But speaking only there for some
Not all of are dumb
The Disneyland of marriage is a sabotage
We ought to just get freaky in the shrubs.

There they sit on their bums all day
Tik-tok-swiping their life away
Not one kiss on their lips as they wish where
Happiness is – I say
Who cares the weather or the day you
just need another and your love
(You should get freaky in the shrubs).

So there’s a moral to the story
That this old life is for the loved
I will not wait til you implore me
I’d rather push than be the shoved
And so if love is for the living
I’ll live it every way I got
I know that nettles aren’t forgiving
But nor is waiting for your lot
This one aint for the gods
So disregard your morals in the puddles
Cos we ought to just get freaky in the shrubs.

Getting Freaky In The Shrubs

Where are we going
Through soft and wrong?
Hunted of spirit
Haunted and torn.
Seeking amazement
Seeking a home we couldn’t bear roaming from.
Where are we going?
Where we belong.

Hope springs eternal
Just hold on to Spring;
Warmth through the clod
And the horse fair in Appleby.
Hold on to sunrise,
Hold on to sunrise,
Hold on to sunrise as dark as it be.
Hold on to sunrise,
Hold on to sunrise,
Hold on to sunrise and hold on to me.

Horse Fair in Appleby - Theatre

A jingle for the wonderful isolation station (run by House of Dinosaur) keeping a marvellous slither of the world entertained day in day out since the Coronavirus has been about.

Check them out!

https://www.facebook.com/Houseofdinosaur

Isolation Station!

I stand on this clutch of twigs creaky at sea
And I can’t see the stars for the dark.
The sails' lips a flutter like muttering pals
'sleep a toe to toe tipsy with hearts off the ground
but I tip on the deck at the ebb of my fate.
Thought the dip of the wave’s not a bother with mates,
but there’s no brave sod whoever escaped
the bewitching of blues through a brew.
Want a taste of your heart? Take a few.
See the trick of your darlings all beamishly gay
loose your grip on your hopes and then throw them away like you were.

The drizzling dawn like a wet angry dog
shivers soberly into m’ bones.
And one lonely lantern is sputtered in fog
as the sun makes an entrance its colours agog
at the wreckings that happen  as soon as it dips.
may the day clear the night up and ever forgive.
For there’s no brave sods wherever they lived
‘scaped the witching of blues through the gloom.
Want to picture your heart? Take a view.
But ye hide before shambled-and-shamed by the day
as the wakinglife laps ye and throws you away.

Grog - Theatre/Musical

I found an answering machine cassette tape - found in a junk sale - uploaded online. What followed was a musical experiment of interweaving lives and a narrative in fragments.
Who's David?
and who on earth is Gail?

David (Barbara, Phillip) & Gail

A jingle I wrote for the 'A Disney a Day in Lockdown' podcast based on the hit blog. https://open.spotify.com/show/4ZceuKsrHk0XnDojr49BVY?si=NIT__sCjSSaoiiWT9yyMeg

Jingles

'A Disney a Day' - Podcast Theme

Spoiling Films - podcast

Words and lyrics by Joshua Ward
Artwork by Margot St-Finch

As The Humber Flows

Poetry, songs and some storytelling to boot!
to watch: https://www.youtube.com/user/joshuaward1991
to buy: joshuawardmusic.bandcamp.com

Joshua Ward

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