Life is a one-take wonder. Technical tomfoolery aside, so is my Little Christian Folk Record. This autumnal offering was imagined as a far grander musical adventure, and scheduled for release in 2023. However, due to the energy crisis in the UK, and soaring costs, I set myself the task of capturing the bones, guts and soul of these songs within a week. Cheap As Chips Records, in conjunction with Rags Before The Lord Enterprises, humbly present to thee...
To my Lord and Saviour, thank you Jesus for fifty years on Your creation, and Your protection therein. I love You - JF, Feast of Trumpets 2022.
Written, performed and produced, in haste and in a brutally honest fashion, before he changed his mind, by Joshua Francis.

Little Christian Folk Record

Eleven years on since my liver failure, hep A and coma debacle, I must confess that I have been ill for years. I had a TIA also in 2015 and walked with a cane for seven years. But I can walk unaided now so, where to walk to? I picked the narrow path. The other one nearly got me killed. This album is dedicated to God and the British taxpayer for paying my healthcare expenses and my welfare these past years. You are still covering me for my alcoholic idiocy over a decade ago. I cannot thank you enough.
I may not be conventionally sane or I probably wouldn't require mood stabilisers an anti-psychotics. The ME and arthritis don't help either! If this record contains tough love, I needed it. You may too.
Anyhow, trust me, I'm bipolar and I know how this show goes.
I need to go study theology for a year now. Speak to you in twelve months time. Au revoir.
God bless
Joshua Francis
Merseyside, England.
3rd July 2023.
p.s. I outlived Errol Flynn the other day!
All songs written, performed and produced by Joshua Francis, except Lynyrd Skynyrd's Innyrds (Collins, Van Zant, Korden, Francis)
Barking vocals - Toto The Dog

Hill To Die On

Dear Ladies,
Please don't chase me anymore. I'm old, tired, injured and very, very married.
Much obliged.
For Samantha.
Written, performed and produced by Joshua Francis.

Ladies...Please!

In 1954 Captain Edward "Eddie" Calver was honorably discharged from the US Army following the Armistice at the 38th Parallel of Korea. He often spoke throughout his long, distinguished career of a character named the Louisiana Kid who taught him to play guitar and write songs at the relatively late age of 27. Calver often took to the road despite his later superstar status dressed humbly in khaki, solo and played these songs referring to these excursions as his "Continuing Posthumous Adventures of Captain Flatliner Tour". 
Mr Calver is such an elusive figure that no one could confirm the voracity of his early claims...until now! This, ladies and gentlemen, is the sole surviving record of Eddie "Hoss" Calver and Johnny Wilkes, "The Louisiana Kid". 
Found, amazingly, in a charity shop, 73 years after its recording. It has been digitally transferred exactly as is, from 78 rpm shellac disc in mono. An extensive search by the record collecting community has begun for other such historical recordings. TBC.
Written and performed by Joshua Francis.
78 RPM. 10" shellac, vinyl rip 2024.
Copyright JF.

Fox-Hole Blues

Well, look what the cat dragged in. After placing a series of advertisements in specialist record magazines, the estate of Captain Edward "Eddie" Calver have made contact. The deal was that if I sent the original of "Fox-Hole Blues" to their archives, they would lend me the others they had. they have. there are other 78s! And a tape!!
It transpires that Eddie and the Louisiana Kid made three 20 minute (approx) shellac recordings, of which "Fox-Hole Blues" was the last. Following the kid's death in 1952 Eddie made a further two contributions to this invaluable historical collection. One in a M.A.S.H unit on a reel to reel tape machine and one final 78 to announce his return. It is the find of the century. There is also a bootleg of a show from as late as 1989. The Calver Estate may release it to me to post if these early recordings do well.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the second of the 78s to arrive. These songs that you are about to hear for the very first time are....the Frogs of War!
Vocals: Eddie Calver
Guitar & Vocals: Johnny Wilkes
Recorded in South Korea 3rd February 1951. Mostly in the key of frog.
Written & performed by Joshua Francis.

The Frogs of War

That Lucky Old Sun (Beasley Smith/Haven Gillespie)
Harmonica - Albert Henry Calver
Vocals - Joshua Francis
Grandad Bert died two thirds of the way through production of this record. That's him on the cover. Driving Field Marshal Montgomery in WW2, in Cairo. True Story! Top that. What a man. A real Lion Heart.
Fortunately I'd bugged every conversation we'd had over the last four years so the old harp came out occasionally. His heart, and his harp, gave out at 94. Even lions die. Please God, let him in. 
This album is dedicated to the memory of my grandfather, Albert Henry Calver, 1927-2021. Lion Heart.
Joshua Francis, 11am, 11th November 2021
Lest we forget.

Joshua Francis - The Yahwehmen - That Lucky Old Sun/The Last Post/Bert's Blues

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it;" Ephesians 5:25
At 48, it was a joy to sing back up to my 24 year old self. And discover that despite many self improvements, I'm still the same man. Oh I'm wiser now, and physically hurt everywhere, but this world, the drink, the divorces, the chemical cosh...it didn't touch me at all. And so, after almost a decade as a penitent, my heart is pure and free to give. To Samantha.
And to you, and for you, I've been gigging since I was 15. Thanks for 33 great years.

Joshua Francis - The Yahwehmen - I Will Say A Prayer Tonight

24 years or exactly half our lives ago, Karen Lenihan sang this duet, backed by my pub covers band, which I had named Sleeve (you know, a record cover, a sleeve. Don't worry, no one got it then, either). Again at Thornwood. Karen's still one of the very, very few good guys out there, and therefore the Yahwehmen's honorary girl!
But the chorus, "so shine your light upon, and expose me in its beam, I'll stand up and be counted, I'll stand up and be seen" seems alost prophetic in retrospect. Just two kids from Essex, of all places, getting it right. Go, girl! JF.

Seriously..Ladies, Please...!!!

Joshua Francis - The Yahwehmen - Broken Valentine feat Karen Lenihan

"Dem Bones" (The Johnson Brothers, 1928)
In response to Karen Lenihan's amusing meme, "Who'd have imagined that the sexiest thing to see in 2021 is a f*cking spine!"
My apologies to Spinal Tap.

Joshua Francis - The Yahwehmen - Spine Intact

Tell - lie - vision broad-casting its spells often from Hollywood, which is what witches' wands are made of. Hmm. Our entire culture is solely defined and presented via the illusion of showbusiness. And if you think that rock n roll is or ever was honest, think again. Or, read really really old books instead, like the Bible. "It is better to put trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man", Psalm 118:8.
And also, "The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun." Ecclesiastes 1:9.
This has been a very long game.

Joshua Francis - The Yahwehmen - The Kim Novak Song

In 1865 John Wesley Work Jr. wrote "Go Tell It On The Mountain, Over the hills and everywhere". It is the duty of every travelling troubadour or evangelist and has been my home. But now, just mountains and hills it is then, no public building will let me in.

Joshua Francis - The Yahwehmen - Abner Carter

The living, breathing, bleeding heart of this record. Jesus is ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. I promise.

Joshua Francis - Absolutely Everything

Joshua Francis - Fool For Love

Joshua Francis - Been There, Done That

Joshua Francis - Get Right With Christ

The world ostracises the broken. Don't blame it. My episodes are as welcome as haemorrhoids. Insanity is not a spectator sport.

Joshua Francis - Ghost

The observations of a 50 year old man who is not considered as traditionally sane. I may be a humble servant of the Lord but I'm also a terrible sinner. Head injuries and misbehaviour are bedfellows. Being burdened thus, and being Christian, oft resembles a civil war. One that with God's help, I intend to win. As for the Cromwell bit, I only saw the film!

Joshua Francis - Sometimes Good People Do Bad Things

Jailed in 1974 for seven years over the theft of a mere £26, Charles Bronson/Salvador has yet to see the light of day. To mark his 70th birthday, and in advance of his 2023 parole hearing, I humbly petition that this talented artist be shown clemency and be afforded the opportunity to live out the rest of his days in peaceful creativity. I therefore submit the following proposition: Free Charles Bronson.
Joshua Francis, 6th December 2022.
"Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy". Mattthew 5:7, KJV.
Written, performed and produced by Joshua Francis
Artwork: Charles Salvador
Copyright Charles Salvador 2022

Free Charles Bronson

Joshua Francis - Free Charles Bronson

Written at the beginning of Hanukkah after another appalling psychotic episode. I know I've upped the anti-psychotics a tad but I've been well behaved for five and a half months - a record, I believe. So I made one.

Joshua Francis - Shackle Me Unto Thy Feet

My first genuine attempt at a hymn. 
p.s. It doesn't. I tried to bend it and got really, really hurt. Meddle at thy peril.

Joshua Francis - Which Part Of This Book Bends?

Nearly everything hurts but I am so very grateful to be alive. Thank you.

Joshua Francis - Lynyrd Skynrd's Innyrds

Alcoholic escapades long behind me, I'm still a bit Jack Sparrow, still a little punchy. But boy do I know the difference between right and wrong these days. I always thought an OBE was awarded by the monarch but no, Out of Body Experiences, complete with ass-kickings from Jesus in Person, are still alive and well in the 21st Century. There is an easier way to reach Him than by nearly dying. These days I find prayer suffices and costs the tax payer less money.

Joshua Francis - If Whisky Learned To Walk

If I ever have to make a stand: He died on one for me. 
My second attampt at a hymn.

Joshua Francis - Hill To Die On

It was Palm Sunday 2014 and after the service Samantha and I were chatting in a friendlier fashion than usual, when I posed the question "Are we flirting yet?". "I think so", she replied. Ten years later we are still very much an item!
To Samantha, from the bottom of my penitent, admiring and aspiring heart. May God bless you always for bringing me closer to Him. I love you.

Joshua Francis - Samantha (album version)

The loudest apology I can muster. For Uriah. I am SO sorry. Dave.

Joshua Francis - Heart Like Mine

Joshua Francis - Falling In Love

Joshua Francis - I Look Much Better With My Clothes On

Joshua Francis - Ladies...Please

Joshua Francis - Lullabye

Joshua Francis - It's Five In The Afternoon Somewhere

"I'm glad Johnny sang on this. It's all I have left so far". Eddie Calver.

Joshua Francis - The Louisiana Kid

Joshua Francis - Fox-Hole Blues

Joshua Francis - I'll Sing You The Blues Again

Every soldier's favourite cartoon walking faux-pas is immortalised in this fitting tribute. Rudely interrupted by the Korean war. And frogs!!

Joshua Francis - Private SNAFU

Posing again as lady killers, the boys boast truthlessly of their prowess. Well, Eddit does. It's Johnny's song though. When asked later if this song had any factual content, Eddie is quoted as sayinig "It's cow-flubdubbery!".

Joshua Francis - My Baby Ain't Built For Standing

The boys pretend to know about westerns, women and storytellers.

Joshua Francis - Raconteur

Eddie again. The kid never went north in his life. Born in Dixie and died in South Korea. Aged 19.

Joshua Francis - Manhattan Love Songs

Johnny loved someone back home. It definitely has a French influence. Which Eddie mispronounces.

Joshua Francis - Torch Song

Eddie wrote the words and melody. Johnny picks out the chords. Eddie history records was so modest he didn't realise he was a songwriter until late 1952 when he had to learn to pick them himself. And they came out mostly the same.

Joshua Francis - The Frogs of War

Eddie recalls how het met an angel in battle. Eddie was shot and bleeding out but was in shock and somehow still standing. The angel carried him to safety to the 4077th Heaven.

Joshua Francis - The Angel

Eddie's first ever comic turn. Right from the start he only ever stole from the best.

Joshua Francis - South Korean Vaudeville With Darren

An innocent song where one would least expect it.

Joshua Francis - I Left My Heart In Seoul

Eddie explains the situation; wounded but determined to continue.

Joshua Francis - 4077th Heaven

Joshua Francis - Radar's Intro

Howling Laud Hope, leader of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, will be running in the Runcorn by-election on 1st May 2025. This is his campaign song. Also, to boost any Loony efforts in the council elections on the same day.
Written & performed by Joshua Francis
from the Good Lord Protector
#election2025 #vote #byelections2025

Joshua Francis - Howling Laud Hope

(Written by Joshua Francis)
feat. The Farnham Road Boys
TRACK 9 I'M SURE I'M NOT MINE
Recorded at my lowest ebb. Stoned out of my mind on an overpresciption. My family fell apart the following year. But I am deeply grateful to Rethink for financing the project in my lamentable condition. Incidentally, Hank Williams was wrong - you can get out of life alive.
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Joshua Francis - Garden of Gethsemane

(Written by Joshua Francis)
feat The Farnham Road Boys
TRACK 8 I'M SURE I'M NOT MINE
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I could hardly see, let alone believe back in 2009. The lonely heart of the record.
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Joshua Francis - Beautiful World

(Written by Joshua Francis)
feat. The Farnham Road Boys
TRACK 7 I'M SURE I'M NOT MINE
The Bipolar Rock n' Roller's unfortunately autobiographical account of the circumstances surrounding his spring holiday in 2006. Ably assisted by some fine gentlemen he happened to meet on or around that time. Recorded for Rethink as a fundraising record in 2009.
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Joshua Francis - Nuthouse Blues

Eddie's going home. He's getting married and he ain't never getting drunk again. It's someone else's turn.

Joshua Francis - I'll Leave This Honky Tonkin' To You

Eddie reads the Bible. A lot. He could feel the rumblings even back then.

Joshua Francis - End Of The World

Eddie's on reserve for further USO tours. An emergency vocal quartet has gathered to listen. They join in. Eddie predicts trouble in Vietnam. Though the battle of Dien Bien Phu took place a year later it took America a decade to enter the fray.

Joshua Francis - U.S.O.

A fond recollection of a trip to San Antonio to visit Johnny's home and play a show or two very early in the war.

Joshua Francis - Old Antone

Home's the prize. But somewhere between here and there are 14,00 miles of ocean with hundreds of other traumatised, deranged hotheads trying to decompress on an oversized tin can. Good luck with that. Eddie's so worried he's praying.

Joshua Francis - Waiting On A Boat

Eddie is done talking. Some fool of a doctor had a psychiatrist uncover the suppressed memory of Johnny's death. When he realised what had happened Eddie beat the man half to death. So savage was the attack that had they not already been in hospital the psychiatrist would have died. Eddie did not speak to anyone again for six months. He had no regrets.
John Newton's "Amazing Grace" this ain't., but Eddie's getting there. His eyesight is failing and he doesn't care. He's seen enough already. A lot of things. And he's not going to explain. Wanna know? Go fight. Eddie has other plans. He wishes to marry.

Joshua Francis - I Seen A Lot Of Things

A typically honest letter to Momma. Eddie, though only thirty, feels fifty physically, and as old as the hills inside. Fearing his mother may be shocked at his fragility, he warns her in advance and informs her of Johnny Wilkes' death.

Joshua Francis - It's Over

(Written by Sir Joshua Francis)
TRACK 11 RIPPING YARNS
'Nuff said! feat Steve Reynolds again!
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Joshua Francis - Sick of Nutty Birds

(Written by Sir Joshua Francis, Samantha Francis & Richard K Montgomery)
TRACK 9 RIPPING YARNS
Country & Vestry with a slice of Scott Joplin for a brawl through dodge city. And Richard doing his Bob Wills impression.
www.sirjoshuafrancis.wix.com/lordprotectors
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Joshua Francis - The Ballad of Solitaire Pube (Ripping Yarns Version)

Joshua's music is a unique blend of original rock n roll, blues and folk, with powerful vocals; but he has been described as producing an insanely diverse range of styles, from ballads to showtunes and everthing in between. His songwriting is poetic and his performance is professional and highly energetic.
He draws his influences from Jerry Lee Lewis, The Rat Pack, The Beach Boys, The Rolling Stones and Steve Earle. Joshua has a very focussed work ethic and if he is not recording then he is touring the country, playing live at a variety of venues.
Very often his songs are of a social conscience nature, particularly focussing on homelessness, and he is a regular at Thorn Cross Prison, Warrington where he performs concerts for his "jailhouse flock". He has made several records for charity, including an EP for mental health charity Rethink. 
Highlights of his career so far include playing Christian music festival KingsStock in 2015, performing at Strawberry Fair last year and playing in front of Terry Waite C.B.E. for homeless charity Emmaus UK's 25th anniversary in Cambridge.
Joshua has received radio airplay all over the UK, North and South America, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. He is also a regular guest on HCR104fm radio based in Huntingdon and Flame Christian & Community Radio in Birkenhead.
Last year's Valentine's Day single "5am" was reviewed by moremore sound who said it was "an original and distinctive musical accomplishment". "Alimony Street" was reviewed by Middle Tennessee Music who said it was "a simplistic balladesque record infused with...powerful vocals". His current album, released in July last year, has been favourably reviewed by The Black Label Agency in Belgium, Beachsloth.com and Christian Radio station The Antidote".
This year, Joshua is working on his next album "Menorahs And Fedoras" which will be released in the summer, and is about to being another extensive tour of the UK – dates are still being added.
Everything Joshua writes and produces is available for free on Soundcloud.

Joshua Francis

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