This affliction that I've struggled with for so long
It finds its way into the heart of each and every song
The more I look at everything - and I mean everything
The more I realize its all the same - and I mean all the same

It'll show its face in the worst of ways and it'll look like something else
You can point at it and give it a name if that will help protect yourself
But none of us, no not one of us, are as different as we might look
Take out the names the places, the people and the things, and we're all reading the same book

Behind every door, in every eye, if you could only see what we're doing in here it wouldn't be that big a surprise
It don't matter if you're born with nothing or given it all - this affliction in each one of us - oh, one and all
This life, this living, there's something missing, we know it, we know it but we still kept kicking
Restless hearts in restless places trying to tell themselves its all so different 
When it's really all the same, and I mean all the same

The world started off coming to us first - we thought it was on our terms
Then why is nothing ever good enough, happiness fleeting and nothing for sure
You could never find your way home if it was somewhere you'd never been
So why would you find yourself in someone else's eyes believing what they think they've seen

Oh it's never too late - and it's never too easy - to put the world in the right place
It starts at home getting grounded in the only real familiar place
The only thing that seems to matter is that we're all living proof
That you can't be anything to anyone until you're someone to you

Behind every door, in every eye, if you could only see what we're doing in here it wouldn't be that big a surprise
It don't matter if you're born with nothing or given it all - this affliction in each one of us, oh one and all
This life, this living, there's something missing, we know it, we know it but we still kept kicking
Restless hearts in restless places trying to tell themselves they're all so different
When it's really all the same, and I mean all the same

From An Addict With Love

I finally woke up right where I was supposed to be
It didn't look how I'd planned but the feeling was real
And my eyes - so used to falling all the way down
But the fall was arrested when I came to rest and found you

I always had a good idea of what I'd hoped to find
But keeping my eyes open wasn't the same as keeping an open mind
Cause you get what you can handle and who was I to think
That I knew what I was ready for or what I'd have to sing about

It's better than I'd hoped - than I'd dreamed
Than I ever thought it could be
They told me love was free - but now I see
It's gotta go both ways to be
So what comes next isn't what matters but sharing it with you
Maybe ever after

I watched you so much closer than even I was aware
Your lips would move and the words they spoke it got harder and harder just not to stare
And so we inched our way closer like two kids not knowing what comes next
Til finally with a flourish we came together and my restless heart could rest

It's better than I'd hoped, than I'd dreamed, than I ever thought it could be
They told me love was free but now I see it's gotta go both ways to be
So what comes next isn't what matters but sharing it with you maybe ever after

What's better than a dream - what's more than it seems
What's better as time goes by
I think I know now.
I think I know now.
I think I know now.
I think I know now.

I finally woke up right where I was supposed to be.

Maybe Ever After

Turned the engine over on a trip I never thought I'd have to make
But the road's the only way to get there and I'm not about to escape
Don't know what might be waiting when I step out and close the door
But things will never be the same this much I know for sure

I always made these drives alone before and they never ended well
It's hard to really find your way inside when you spend so much time by yourself
And so I desperately changed channels hoping one song could change the tone
Of the life I'd been stuck living - to put a spark into my soul

It was such a needless wish - but it was all that I could manage
Desperate for that one thing to make everything up til now matter
Without a shred of hope to hold on to I asked the world to give me some instead
It wasn't so much the song that changed my tune but my tune that changed it
Oh of wishes and of prayers - they never come true like you'd expect
But as your eyes adjust to the light answers are all that's left
So the song it never came - I never needed it to begin with, I was always ready for what came next but ready didn't always mean what I'd think

It wasn't what I'd planned for - how it happened or what it all meant
I could never see it on the way in - I couldn't see what I couldn't expect
Don't wanna make my mind up about what will be or what it'll mean to me
Don't wanna rob the moment of its meaning before its even come to be 

It was such a needless wish - but it was all that I could manage
Desperate for that one thing to make everything up until now matter
Without a shred of hope to hold on to - I asked the world to give me some instead
It wasn't so much the song that changed my tune but my tune that changed it
Oh of wishes and of prayers - they don't come true like you'd expect
But as your eyes adjust to the light - answers are all that's left
So that song it never came.  I never needed it to begin with.
I was always ready for what came next - but ready didn't always mean what I'd think

The Song That Never Came

It's a sad, sad story or at least that's how it'd sound
If I told it from beginning to end - a lifetime of being lost, followed by a second of being found
There was pain and there was loss - sorrow, grief, almost the ultimate cost
And it only got worse with time - till I was just an empty body waiting in line
But that's not how it feels, and it's not the story I have to tell
Cause all that led me to here to now, and these moments have rewritten it all

Sometimes I wish I could have seen it coming, I guess maybe some part of me did
But if I could seen what was in store for me my story wouldn't be what it is

I always had hope in the idea there was a reason for everything, but that kind of thinking always kept me blind to a million other reasons I was missing
Cause who was I to think I knew the meaning of any one thing
Who was I to declare and absolute truth when I just needed some truth for me
And I still want it all but I know that I am blessed
Both to catch a glimpse of just a few of those reasons - and to know they're not all that is

Sometimes I wish I could have seen it coming, I guess maybe some part of me did
But I wouldn't get to cherish the heartache for giving me this

Being broken.   Being broke down.
A gift I never would've asked for but I would never give it back now
Being lonely.  Being afraid.
Being down on my knees I'm grateful for those days.

Sometimes I wish I could have seen it coming, I guess maybe some part of me did
But I wouldn't get to cherish the heartache for giving me this

Being broken.   Being broke down.
A gift I never would've asked for but I would never give it back now
Being lonely.  Being afraid.
Being down on my knees I'm grateful for those days.


A Sad Story

point my pen at the air
just hold it tight and let the thoughts jump in
there's time enough for today
waiting ain't so long if you know you'll get there

an afternoon - the ink just stains the page
calls attention to the mistakes i've made
another chance at the draw
but there's no guarantee it's me they'll say they saw

eyes are whiter than the parchment just waiting to be stained
hands are helpless when it comes to making anything not plain
moving motionless around the lines my head just spins
until my pen is full enough to make its mark lasting

white now brought to life - blackened, marked, and smeared
truth showing through from behind a hidden fear
a pen and paper could be mightier than most
mightier than me is the choice i always chose

eyes are whiter than the parchment just waiting to be stained
hands are helpless when it comes to making anything not plain
moving motionless round the lines my head just spins
until my pen is full enough to make its mark lasting
to make its mark lasting

point my pen at the air
just hold it tight and let the thoughts jump in

Life In White

yours is the light - that shines the brightest to me
brighter than anything i've seen before and there's been quite a bit i've seen
even from far away, the day starts with you shining through
and when i close my eyes to go to sleep its to thoughts of you

yours is the life where i can't wait to see what comes next
whether joy, or pain, or in between i know its for the best
while i can't be there for each and everything
my heart can rest in knowing distance is the only thing between

i'm always waiting for the next time i see you
i'm always waiting for the next time your eyes open up to something new
distance doesn't seem to matter cause even if you were here with me
i'd still be always waiting for the next thing while loving it right here

there's nothing i can say to make it all go away
i'll just hold your hand and love you till you see it clear one day
there's only one real regret i'll never let myself live down
and that's not being there to love you every second till you learn to love yourself

i'm always waiting for the next time i see you
i'm always waiting for the next time your eyes open up to something new
distance doesn't seem to matter cause even if you were here with me
i'd still be always waiting for the next thing while loving it right here

Always Waiting

Tried to take it all on at once, drowning before I even started to swim
Instead of making progress, I was left with a mess of my own making
Thinking where did I go wrong, didn’t I have the best of intentions
Thinking when will I learn, that meaning well means almost nothing

Without some action, there’s no heart in passion
Without that first step, you can never truly feel it

Slow and steady wins the race, but i’m so far behind
Like a firecracker, my spark burns fast and bright, but I blow up before the finish line
A lifetime of loose ends, and the desperate need to tie them all up
So I set out again, tell myself this time I’ll  see it all through cause enough is enough

Without some action, there’s no heart in passion
Without that first step you can never truly feel it

My quick fixes never seem to stay, I’m always starting all over with something new to explain
Thinking how to make up for all the time I lost, I keep re-doing what I’ve done but at a greater cost
And I’ll count it all up till I’m overwhelmed, a lifetime of missed moments
Wasting my time thinking about wasted years

With all this running from what’s behind me, it’s hard to see what’s coming my way
And so I’m crashing into everything creating even more reasons to run away
 Thinking how did it come to this, how’d I end up in this place
Thinking where to go from here, answers only come when I stop running

Without some action, there’s no heart in passion
Without that first step you can never truly feel it

My quick fixes never seem to stay, I’m always starting all over with something new to explain
Thinking how to make up for all the time I lost, I keep re-doing what I’ve done but at a greater cost
And I’ll count it all up till I’m overwhelmed, a lifetime of missed moments
Wasting my time thinking about wasted years

Wasting my time thinking about wasted years
Wasting my time thinking about wasted years





Good Intentions

I spent a lot of time looking at faces
Not really knowing what I’d hoped to see
Was it a smile, a nod, a look of respect
Or a combination of all three
While I got what I wanted for a moment at times
It never did last long enough
Cause you can’t receive what you’re not ready for
And that surely includes love

I spent a lot of time listening to voices
Some I kept coming back to for years
Was it the words, the tone, or the message behind it
That made me want to lean in to hear
Although sooner or later they’d get drowned out
By my own voice saying I must’ve heard them wrong
But I always held on to a glimmer of hope
That what I really heard was love

After all this time, I’ve found one thing that’s right
Darkness is just the absence of light
If you let light in, it up and disappears
So I try to let love shine on all my fears

I spent so much time w/ a mirror
As the only thing in front of me
A reflection full of who I’d become
Not something I was prepared to see
Kept missing what was all around me
People, places, & things I’d been part of
That finally helped me to start to see my reflection
w/ a little bit of love

After all this time, I’ve found one thing that’s right
Darkness is just the absence of light
If you let light in, it up and disappears
So I try to let love shine on all my fears
 And the only real thing is love
And the only real thing is love
And the only real thing is love


The Only Real Thing

lyrics by Ken Gibson
Arrangement by John Perrotta & Adam Nice

Well the moon be bright - be bright tonight
And I've got Bowie...Bowie on my mind
I'm just sitting here - sitting all by myself
Listening along to Aladdin Sane
Don't know about you babe - but I'm doing just fine

Morning can't come - can't come too soon
Where the hell is morning - where the hell are you
I'm just passing time - as time passes by
Don't know if you heard me say that I'm sorry
But I've got Bowie and everything's Hunky Dory

When are you coming home
Coming home for good
Why you wanna roam now that I got you
I got you on my mind - don't you leave me low
Don't leave me stranded - don't you know
Bowie ain't got shit to say
But i'll take his word anyway

Smoking a wave - staring at the sky
Looking for answers - searching for satellites
I got nothing - that's the damn truth
I used to have something - something called you
Now I just have Bowie and the songs of my youth

When are you coming home
Coming home for good
Why you wanna roam now that I got you
I got you on my mind - don't you leave me low
Don't leave me stranded - don't you know
Bowie ain't got shit to say
But i'll take his word anyway

And we could be heroes

Home For Good

How the lights come on - something I can't begin to fathom
How you came out smiling - a miracle I couldn't begin to imagine
And how you wake up free - a gift a part of me can remember
And you fight against sleep - don't want to miss a moment ever

You got plenty of time, but I for one won't blame you for making the

Most of this - this moment at our fingertips
The most of this - using all you've got to get a grip
And you just can't resist - the touch, the taste, the smell, the sound - all of it
And i remember we're all new to this - this moment at our fingertips

Resisting when it's time to go - you're always happy right where you are
The wonder your eyes can hold - and how it reminds us all of the fire
Burning in our own hearts - a gift time can let you take for granted
I'll die a happy man if I know your fire's always tended

You got plenty of time, but I for one won't blame you for making the

Most of this - this moment at our fingertips
The most of this - using all you've got to get a grip
And you just can't resist - the touch, the taste, the smell, the sound - all of it
And I remember we're all new to this moment at our fingertips

How the lights come on
Greet each moment like a new dawn
How you wake up free
Reminding us how it's supposed to feel

How the lights come on
Greet each moment like a new dawn
How you wake up free
Reminding us how it's supposed to feel

The Most of This

To say I miss you would be selling the feeling short
Cause when I'm with you it's like my prayer has been heard
To say you're always with me - filling up my heart if not my head
Is the closest that I can come to giving words to where I've been

And as you read those words to me
Well that's the kind of thing I could only hope for in a dream

I watch you grow in glimpses and moments
I hold on to them like there's nothing else worth holding
I see you smile from across the miles
And it keeps me okay for awhile
I hold your hand when I'm there to hold it
But in my heart it's something I'll never let go of
I hear you laugh and it rings in my ears 
And i'm okay with how we got to here

To say I'm only listening when I hear you speak
Don't account for the time between when thoughts of where you are all I hear
To say that I love you could never properly explain
How much you are a part of me and how that could never change

And as you read those words to me
Well that's the kind of thing I could only hope for in a dream

I watch you grow in glimpses and moments
I hold on to them like there's nothing else worth holding
I see you smile from across the miles
And it keeps me okay for awhile
I hold your hand when I'm there to hold it
But in my heart it's something I'll never let go of
I hear you laugh and it rings in my ears 
And i'm okay with how we got to here

To Say

This is me.  

Live, solo, with the help of my dear friend (Brian Vance - soundcloud.com/smallspacessound)...and maybe a few with me trying my very limited hand at production.  

Take a listen - if you want more just let me know - I promise there is plenty where this came from.  

Cheers.

JPerrotta757

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