Performers
Hattie Bestul: Clarinet
Katherine Cooley: Horn
J.R. Brinkman: Piano

Night Thoughts was written from a series of dream journals. Occasionally, I will hear music in my head as I sleep—so I began keeping staff paper and a pencil on my night stand. I would wake up and record whatever I heard. I later took these excerpts and wrote these three movements from them. 

The first instance “4:14 on a Saturday” was the exact time that I woke up and recorded the first of the melodies from my head. The first movement at completion sounds remarkably folksy. The first movement was written after I recorded and improvisation off of the dream journal fragment. I later transcribed my recording and orchestrated it for this instrumentation. 

The second movement is nearly octatonic (an 8-note scale), and features the heaviest amount of dissonance as well as rhythmic activity. The movement is in three large sections—the first and last are almost identical, but set in different pitch centers and resolve differently. The middle section features a muted piano, as well as the longest and most complete dream journal melodic fragment—which is first heard in the piano. 

The final movement was the most difficult to piece together from my journal and my head. I had three separate dream journal melodies recorded for December 13, and they were all drastically different. I made them fit together by creating a nearly-continuous movement that begins with the melodic fragment from movement two, and evolves into an ever-changing soundscape that later defines the third movement.

III. December 13

Dawn is an SATB choral setting of William Carlos Williams' poem of the same name. 

The piece features a solo for either soprano or tenor in the beginning--gracefully skipping around a disjunct melody to represent the song of birds. As the piece moves further along, there are vivid sound-colors that exude the essence of each word that Williams wrote. 

The piece begins slow and poignant and later erupts into life--like the dazzling fire of the sun's rays peeking over the horizon--splitting the sky into shards of deep purple, and fiery reds. 

As the sun raises further, the lines get longer and higher eventually reaching the tipping point--the climactic moment of light resplendently flooding over the land. 

Suddenly a brief respite, a time to ponder and a time to recover under the glory of sunlight. After a moment of rest--standing in awe of the sun's resplendent rays--the birds erupt into the sky flying away, bathed in sunlight. 

Silence. 

A very special thank you to Jackson Thomas and his newly formed KC VITAs Chamber Choir in Kansas City for bringing this piece to life in a way that I never thought possible. I could not have hoped for a better world premiere, and I am extremely excited to see what this ensemble does in the future. 

https://www.facebook.com/KCVITAs1?fref=ts

Here is a link to their official Facebook page. Please check them out! 

Dawn

"Saṅsāra or Saṃsāra (Sanskrit: संसार), (in Tibetan called “khorwa”) literally meaning
“continuous flow”, is the cycle of birth, life, death, rebirth or reincarnation within Hinduism, Buddhism, Bön, Jainism, Sikhism, and other Indian religions. In modern parlance, samsara refers to a place, set of objects and possessions, but originally, the word referred to a process of continuous pursuit or flow of life. In accordance with the literal meaning, the word should either refer to a continuous stream of consciousness, or the continuous but arbitrary drift of passions, desires, emotions, and experiences."

As of late, I am infatuated with the ideas of timelessness, oblivion, and the continuity of life. These pieces are all symbolic representations of various thoughts regarding mortality and the celebration of our finite existences.

This piece is inspired by lying in the grass, feeling the sunlight wash and envelop your entire being. It's also about the realization that the same atoms that make up each celestial body, also make up your body. The universe is a part of you, and you a part of it. 

The poem that goes along with it:
Saṃsāra
the sun burns in My eyes
a cosmic revelation—
all that is, all that will be—
galaxies encircle
death—birth—
endless
timeless
limitless
the sun burns in My eyes
 
I
i once laid in the hammock of divine grass My body lay intertwined
like a fractal
illuminated
effervescent
radiant streams of life-light
vibrated through My being
i caught stars with My eyes  
i birthed universes with My lips
blinding
energetic
infinite
i became time

II
a moment
i ceased to exist i was all
and nothing
i was created and destroyed i was born
i died 
endles—
i once laid... for a moment
i am time

III
the sun
burns in My eyes   

Saṃsāra

saxophone quartet | for Corvus Quartet
Brian Vuu, Soprano Saxophone
Hendrik Viljoen, Alto Saxophone
Anna Mardesen, Tenor Saxophone
Michael Nguyen, Baritone Saxophone

1 | Written for the concept of timelessness, meditative state begins with a drone similar to a tanpura box, but created by the ensemble as the tenor saxophone plays an 		improvisatory-like, melody. The melody has words associated with a certain mood or idea attached to each phrase. The performer is instructed to either use these moods and associations, or to ignore them.

  2 | The second movement of meditative state takes the concept of a drone, but begins to add flourishes and motion. The piece returns to a series of sustained pitches repeatedly, designed to exist as a moving drone. Eventually the flourishes overwhelm the ensemble and transform into moving lines inspired by infiniteness and pure bliss. 

Meditative State | 1 | 2 |

string orchestra, harp, and piano

 Tanner Pfeiffer, Conductor
Jason Fleisner, Violin
An Tran, Violin
Alex Rogers, Violin
Emma Nelson, Violin
Travis Taylor, Viola
Mary Dowd, Viola
Leah Waldvogel, Cello
Addie Hotchkiss, Cello
Stephen Cantarero, Bass
Jake Wheeler, Bass
Melissa Srb, Harp
J.R. Brinkman, Piano


Notes from my sister, Sarah Shea:
“What you are about to hear is a musical journey in memory of my son, Jaxon, Jared's nephew. But it’s also a musical journey of life and how quickly she can change. Life can swallow you whole in the darkest of sorrows and bring you out on the other side with the brightest of smiles. Jared composed this piece for an innocence lost—yes—but what the music holds is so much more. It’s the feeling of loss, for every one of us; the darkest sorrows, the fight, and the light that is waiting for us on the other side. 
I encourage you to shut your mind off—close those fighting fists; let the pain sink in, feel the sorrow, and experience it in your own way.  
Time will open those fists again; you will breathe again.  
Remember after pain you are still alive—not untouched—but all the same, alive!
Hope lives on. You live on. Love lives on. 
Love is our way of defeating the dark, our victory.
Jaxon touched lives. As well as all of you here tonight.
Thank you Jared, my brother and friend for finally giving us, what I believe, to be Jaxon’s voice.  
Love, 
Your sister.”   
!2
Notes from the composer:
Slightly over ten years ago, I lost my nephew in a tragic accident. In 2005, I would have been twelve years old—old enough to understand the situation, but far too young to fully comprehend the magnitude and gravity that this event would have on my loved ones and myself. It is apparent now after reflection, that I was never able to grieve the loss of my nephew. I was young, dazed, confused, and lost. It seems fitting that the world premiere of this piece should fall under the hands of my friend and colleague Tanner Pfeiffer—without whom this piece never would have been created.  
 
I repressed a memory about my nephew Jaxon...forgive me, as this will be painful to read, painful to relay, and painful to experience—but alas, it is the only way.  
 
When Jaxon was born, he was born brain dead as a result of the injuries sustained during a car accident when my sister was on her way to the hospital. The thing about being brain dead, is that it doesn’t take away natural reflexes. I remember someone had placed a cotton ball into Jaxon’s hand—his tiny fingers gripped the ball tightly. I remembered finally after a decade, a specific moment where I placed my finger in his tiny palm, his fingers wrapped delicately, yet firmly, around my finger. The natural reflexes of a young infant are for their fingers to grip something tightly. It is heartbreaking for me, that we were so close, and yet so far away. His natural reflexes seemed to be an omen of hope—we couldn’t let go if he would hang on.
The most tragic thing to me a decade later, is the idea that we were so close to him. He was able to hold my hand, but he was never able to open his eyes.  
 
I wrote Jaxon a lullaby. I chose to immortalize him in sound. Hopefully he will be able to sleep peacefully, forever.  
 
“Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.” 
— Eric Clapton: “Tears in Heaven” 
 
Hopefully this will bring me peace at last. Thank you for joining me in this moment.
— J.R.

Coronach For The Infant Soul

fractals was originally a work for solo organ. For this performance, I have chosen to re- envision this work to include oboe and saxophone, as well as pipe organ. This piece is inspired by fractal geometry, more specifically the Mandelbrot set. Originally I had intended to derive the entire work based around the equation that represents that set, but eventually grew tired of “composing inside of a box”. fractals took approximately nine months to complete—it is based around the idea of the infinite and the infinitely complex. Fractals are never ending, infinite cycles—this concept intrigues me greatly. I use this idea to represent life itself. The piece is cyclical in nature, it has three distinct large sections, and continuously returns to the opening theme. It is most important to recognize how far the piece is stretched from the original idea, and eventually how it returns to this original cyclical concept.

fractals

I am a composer based in the Lincoln, Nebraska area.

My philosophy on music is to treat it as if it is an organic entity--alive, pulsating.

My current aural fascination encompasses the ideas of infiniteness and self-realization.

J.R. Brinkman

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