july b-day throwaways

lyrics:

Cause lately it feels like you're testing me
Just feels like im some sort of pest to you
I tried to show you the best of me
To see if i summon the rest of you
Cause lately its been 80 20
I'm petty cause I thought that you'd be invested too 
But I'm just another distraction
So apologies for my attitude 

And its started to feel like you actually stabbed my back
(Stabbed my back nah)
I always hated that you never just text right back 
(Like where you at nah)
Slipped thru your backdoor
Will this last or
Will you just use me
Still want you back though

Hey can you pause for a minute
Innit crazy how it is right now how it is right now
You're moving out of town hope you miss me
(Miss me)
I don't mean what I said
I got accustomed to leaving your message on read 
I confessed all of my feelings hoping that you were the person that you are in my head
I deserve the truth 
But for that I think i'll have to see the worst of you
yeah
Conversations overdue 
Look myself inside the mirror ask why she has fucking hold of you yeah

Fell in love in 22' for the second time
Swear to god swear to god i met you in a past life
(What do yall think)
Feels like im running in place
I cannot change your point of view
So i just lie to your face
Text you back I love you too

I love you too
Love you too nah
Love you too
Love you too nah
Love you too
Love you too nah
Love you too
Love you too nah

Cause lately it feels like you're testing me
Just feels like im some sort of pest to you
I tried to show you the best of me
To see if i summon the rest of you
Cause lately its been 80 20
I'm petty cause i thought that you'd be invested too 
But I'm just another distraction
So apologies for my attitude 

And its started to feel like you actually stabbed my back
(Stabbed my back nah)
I always hated that you never just text right back 
(Like where you at nah)
Slipped thru your backdoor
Will this last or
Will you just use me
Still want you back though




I miss it when we used to talk all the time
But now all you wanna do to me is lie
I’ve been working on myself
I’ve been going day and night
I’ve been working nine to five
But I’m working till I die
Sleeping in my empty bed
While you’re running inside my head
And I’m running out of breath
Maybe this will be my death
Two months go by
Now you wanna call me up
(Two months and you were never there)
Saying “Baby, maybe?”
But you know you fucked up
(Fucked up but I don't really care)
I don’t really care that you let me down
Cos I’m going up touring all around
Don’t tell me your worries
Don’t wanna hear you're sorry
Let you go, now I know
Let me go, now you know

(I couldn't take it 
I couldn't take it
I'm so
So sorry)

Fell in love in 22 for the second time
Swear to god swear to god i met you in a past life
Feels like im running in place
I cannot change your point of view
So i just lie to your face
Text you back i love you too

I- I- I-
love you too
Love you too nah
Love you too
Love you too nah
Love you too
Love you too nah
Love you too
Love you too nah

ily2 ft. Babebee

(prod. july.)

july, yazida, and bee in that order, thank u very much for this opportunity <3

starz ft. Yazida & Babebee

https://ffm.to/stalpra1byjuly

Sent 8 hours ago
I know its dumb but it stung
'Fraid of becoming a name that's on the tip of your tongue
Have you say "that rings a bell" but I never get wrung
It was an grade A love but fuck it i flunked

Stupid bitch from california fucked up all in the lungs,
Heard you're moving North Dakota missed the ball when i swung,
Sorry if im too aggressive im just stupid and young
We make plans to hang but when we do i rather get hung ugh

I eyed you first on ig
I add you then i highkey 
Fell in love in the first 20 minutes i dont know why
Wishing u were my lover
I know that its unlikely
But is it really my fault if your presence makes me cry



Nothing left to confide in
I got addicted to hiding
The fact that when you text me boutta boy I get excited
I'm fighting my demons
They're lying to me
Now I'm yearning I'm feigning 

I want you in my sights boo
Yeah were both cancers but when it comes to you you're type 2
I dont have the answers but ill know them if you'd like to
Talk about it
God you really are the type to
To get under my skin ah
I dont even know where to began at
Why does loving you feel like a fucking sin yeah
Cause I don't wanna be without you
But I don't wanna be your friend
Cause I'm scared I fell in love again 

Heard you talk about me
Heard you told your friends
Do they know 'bout what we had or what we could've been
Do they feel it too
The serotonin
When they see you walk around without you knowin' that
You look so pretty when you're clueless
And then the arrows hit my chest goddamn its been a while
He treats you shitty and it's stupid
Cause I'd give you my whole being just to make you smile
I fell into your trap
He treats you like crap
You say that he misses you
I honestly doubt that
Scout hat looking faggot how'd he get u
my bad
(I didnt mean to say it like that)

Nothing left to confide in
I got addicted to hiding
The fact that when u text me boutta boy but i get excited
I'm fighting my demons 
They know that im better
They want this boy gone but its taking forever


It's taking a tol
Molding to whatever shape you want it never gets old,
I lost all control,
But you know me i never really seems to let go

I want you in my sights boo
Yeah were both cancers but when it comes to you you're type 2
I dont have the answers but ill know them if you'd like to
Talk about it
God you really are the type to
To get under my skin ah
I dont even know where to began at
Why does loving you feel like a fucking sin ah
Cause I don't wanna be without you
But I don't wanna be your friend
Cause I'm scared I fell in love again 

in love again
in love again
in love again 
in love again
in love again
in love again
in love again 
in love again


she'soprecious2me

https://ffm.to/stalpra1byjuly

I hate your sick ways
thought of you too much and i had sick days for six days
in my heart you were first place
you put me sixth place 

and now im pissed
got me missing a relationship that didn't exist
now im running back and forth trying to find a new bliss
now your names the only manifestation on my list
sorry couldn't resist
and now im pissed
got me missing a relationship that didn't exist
now im running back and forth trying to find a new bliss
now your names the only manifestation on my list
they told me to give up i cant let it fall through the mist

she's so pretty like a gang sign bitch i throw up
you dont really know me that's fine cause i know ya
I've been tryna let u but yet I hold on
see you I'm intoxicated
I should be sober
asking how you doin' 
how you been 
how you feel?
I wish to you i had some appeal

(i dont love you anymore)

That's what I texted you I lied
got me wrapped around you knife
Why I'm wasting all this time on you
And you dont even think about me
This is overdue
It's rushing in i feel im drowning
Do you have me in your mind yet
I just wanna know now
I don't wanna slow it down
can we go another round or some
could you text me when you're done
talkin' bout that other boy you hanging with don't give a fuck
I'm the one that you need
I'm the one I'm the one 
like me married got some doves in my sleeve 
Please don't run
Please dont run away

I hate your sick ways
thought of you too much and i had sick days for six days
I'm honestly so scared of putting my emotions on display

Cause I'm scared that you gon' leave and gon' never come back
So I deleted all your pics because I'm sick of your ass 
I got like twenty hundred verses bout' you never texting back and
I know you never stream so you can come and catch this backhand
forreal
I'm manifesting you
I look around at my day ones and they all turn to two's
I heard you got a man
he smell like fuckin' poo
and if see him with my eyes you know he's fucking screwed yeah

She's so pretty like a gang sign bitch i throw up
you dont really know me that's fine cause i know ya
I've been tryna let u but yet I hold on
see you I'm intoxicated
I should be sober
asking how you doin' 
how you been
 how you feel?
I wish to you i had some appeal
I wish to you I had some appeal
Some appeal

paris hilton domestic terrorism

written by me and aras
influenced by helene <3


[july.]

[intro]
only for the exception of the fact
that my heart and my soul are intact
that i no longer need to redact 
that when

when I'm close 2 u
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 
when I'm close to you
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 


[chorus]
cause when I'm close 2 u
the world doesnt spin like how its supposed to do
there's something in the air I feel exposed and nude  (ew)
I sit inside the room
I've accepted as my tomb
Only leave to get some food 
But when I'm close 2 u
the world doesnt spin like how its supposed to do
My eyes can't detect any sudden moves (don't move)
I sit inside the room
I've accepted as my tomb
only leave to get some food 

[hook]

cause when I'm close 2 u
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 
when I'm close to you
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 

[verse] 

I rather pass away then pass you on
Cause i don't wanna treat u like ur just some baton
And i'm scared that you won't like me when I'm off the pills
But when I'm close 2 you feels like I can't do wrong 


[Harass Moon] 

when i'm inside of ur radius 
i feel so damn connected love
intrusive thoughts invading us
but ur lips r so infectious oh I
I keep on coming back for more
heart beating so eclectic
shocking but babe i kno 4 sure
this surge feels electric when i'm (close to u)

[chorus]
cause when I'm close 2 u
the world doesnt spin like how its supposed to do
there's something in the air I feel exposed and nude  (ew)
I sit inside the room
I've accepted as my tomb
Only leave to get some food 
But when I'm close 2 u
the world doesnt spin like how its supposed to do
My eyes can't detect any sudden moves (don't move)
I sit inside the room
I've accepted as my tomb
only leave to get some food 

[hook] 

cause when I'm close 2 u
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 
when I'm close to you
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 


it's merely parasocial ft. Aras Moon

PRODUCED MIXED AND MASTERED BY ZURYA MONTENEGRO



LYRICS: 
(I mean my heart's beating, my heart's beating, my hands are shaking, my hands are shaking
but I'm still shooting, and I'm still getting the headshots, it's like boom, headshot, boom
headshot, boom)

Prepare for it today

Asthmatic, yet you never give me room to breathe, two steps and it shifted onto my knees
You know I've never been one to plead, but this called for desperate  measures
Your dull remarks to me are keen, my hands covered up by the end of my sleeve
so I couldn't get a grip on your reality so,
Can you tell me what it is?
Can you tell me who I am?
(Tell me)
Why I feel like shit, it's only 10am
I, I never thought the day I'd be a backup plan


I wish I didn't think of it so constantly
I think I jinxed it all, I fucked it up subconsciously
And now I'm falling apart
It's getting harder not to say goodbye
You look at me like I'm the reason
why you, cry at night
You taste just like cyanide
Now I can't feel my eyes, no
You smell just like Hi-C
I don't think you like me, you're pissed
Don't you fight me on this (love)
Bitch you fiesty
You look way better in my white tee huh
And it's blue too
How you feel to have songs about you on YouTube
Your face in my room just by the bluetooth
I clench my teeth so you don't get through, and it's too true
I've been stuck since day one, on your free trial since salem
Maybe I'll get in if I pay 'em, maybe I'll get in if I pay you

One mil', shit, your scent's in my lungs still
You make me feel like I just took the wrong pill
My infatuation's gone off scale, can we improve our soft skills
I've only ever seen the surface, aerial view of frothed milk
Do you remember, early November, I would hold your hand We'd talked about favorite kinds of weather, your time in Japan
My apogee in disguise, our peak seem so damn far
We ended things in December, I missed the rise of fall

(The future belongs to those who prepare for it today)

One, two, three, four

It was all for you
Oh, it was all for you
Oh, it was all for you
It was all, it was all, yeah

It was all for you
Oh, it was all for you
Oh, it was all for you
It was all
It was my fault

It's just your game, huh
All these hurdles to realize it wasn't the same love
Took a minute to realize it, I gave into my vices
Shook your hand, you sanitized it. I was air-headed, so long I had to raise my prices, damn
If life a movie, wish it were Pokemon so it could star you,
But you antagonize me when I can make you a starr too
Know a cool place with a nice view and a bestie who do tattoos and i-

I never thought that it could end up like this

And It was all for you
It was all for you
(it was all for you)
It was all for you (oh)
It was all
Nothing that you ever do (it was all for you)
Will ever make me stop loving (and it was all for you)

Mmm It was all for you

I'll take my favorite memory-

acquiesce

Holdin’on my breath
Something that I can’t do
You’re gonna ruin my head
Frozen I can’t move
I’m on the internet browsing 
Browsing for your insta
I’m gonna ruin my head
I’m gonna ruin my
Uh

I can be the one I’m on it
I can get you things
Running for your love 
I’m running like I'm Sonic
I can get you rings
That’s a promise
I just needa find you again (Find you uh)
I just needa find you again

Pictures of you on my phone from 2021
I don’t wanna seem that creepy, but I’m stuck to you I’m stunned uh
I gotta find you again  
Gotta find you again   
I just needa find you again
Pictures of you on my phone from 2021
I don’t wanna seem that creepy, but I’m stuck to you I’m stunned  (I'm stuck to you ouu)
I gotta find you again  
Find you again (find you again)

I hope that I find you
Looking through the bayou
Just tryna be by you
By you 
By you
I don’t wanna wait no
I give you my soul (give you my soul)
Saw you yesterday uh
In my camera roll (camera roll)

I never knew your location
So I just sat in the night 
I saw you glow from a distance
I overlooked and lost sight (yeah)
Hypnotized when I see ya
My subconscious idea
That was you and
Just when I need a re-up
You grow on me like chia
It’s super-human
 
Subtle with the way I
Approach every word I say to u
You're so diffy from the usual 
Every interaction is extraordinary
Oh look it's our anniversary
Babe don't you understand that we are meant to be 
Apple of my eye like it's the giving tree
We been soulmates through every century 
like oooh
I don't wanna sulk this pain
I'm sorry if I hesitate 
And I don't know if you feel the same
Babe i know it's lame 
Puzzling my mind, can you solve this riddle
I'm in love with you, how do I keep this civil 
Yeah you jumping through hoops, so I can keep this dribble
When I'm close to you, I feel so invincible

I won’t give up finding you
I know beggars never choose
But I’d pick you over them
Over a thousand times (over a thousand times)
When the sky isn’t as blue 
When the water turns to glue
Only when I’m close to you
I’d live a thousand lives

And if I never find you, was am I supposed to do 
Cause nothing feels the same when I’m not close to you
Don’t Don’t 
Don't ask how I’ve been
I’ve been tryna figure out
Why it's worse than it seems
Fell in love with a concept 
I rather be unconscious
Than fall for a screen

I just hope that I find you again

Holdin’ on my breath,
Something that i can’t do 
You’re gonna ruin my head
Frozen I can’t move
I’m on the internet browsing
Browsing for your insta
I’m gonna ruin my head
I’m gonna ruin my 
Uh (you're gonna ruin my head)

I can be the one I’m on it
I can get you things
Running for your love 
I’m running like I'm Sonic
I can get you rings
That’s a promise
I just gotta find you again (Find you uh)
I'm screaming out your name maybe I'll find you then

Cocoa scented candle that I saw inside your background 
I light it and pretend that it’s your presence when I lie down
Cocoa scented candle that I saw inside your background 
I light it and pretend that it’s your presence when I lie down

That right there is what life is really about

dear koko,

dear koko, ft. aras moon

every single sound in the song is made from the pack, either straight up or sound designed to hell

prod: meeee :3

starz 1.5 ft. aras moon

whatever i needed to say, wasn't as important as it seemed [shitdemo4]

I don't even use half these pronouns [shitdemo_5]

SAMPLE STOLEN FROM KVRDELL

(Says he's my best friend
And you can't take him away!)

(But I don't wanna let go)
The future belongs to those who prepare for it today
If you're down then I'm coming through

(But you're not the jealous type, are you?)

I loved you

(This is too good!)

I'm afraid of losing hope in what I make
Put my love in something, then it's five years down the drain
Sometimes I'm a god but don't you say my vain
You got hit up in yo brain if you think that I'm gonna
Change

But who said that don't mean I won't go deranged for ya
Living room turned to a range for ya
Imma go out with a bang (My hearts beatin')
For ya
I might just let out the fangs for ya
Go fucking mental insane for ya
Yeah uh yeah
Unlike Mary I'm not first to carry but I'm first to parry
And I hit a bitch if it's necessary
And I eat the rich like a black berry or a fat cherry
Run it back Terry
Never talked shit I was speaking real
But if blocking me is just how you feel
Then fuck you and your head of steel (I loved you)

I'm afraid of losing hope and getting pissed
Cause if y'all get DDoS'd it's like she ain't even exist
So why the fuck you choose her over me, it don't make sense
Fuck am I supposed to do 'bout this

How can I lose you?
If you're all that I've ever known (Fuck am i to do)
How can I lose you?
If you're already half-way gone (I cant never stay mad)
How can I lose you?(But I know that you know that)
If you're all that I've ever known (I know that you know)
How can I lose? (Lord knows)
How can I lose you? (That your graduations soon)
How can i lose ( Lost my mind in the new year)
When I was first to choose you (Didn't think I'd lose you too)
Autonomy abused (Wasn't that one of your fears)
Left me on the noose
Didn't think I'd lose ('Cause I know your friends are seldom)
(With) You
Didn't think I'd lose ('Cause I know your friends are seldom)
Uh

I don't hate you, I just need that girl deceased
Whiter than the ash up on my knees, she got disease
And that's not shots to you, that's shots to dude
My pointer three
That's the same number of months I been wishing y'all downfall
I know that it's senile, but I hope that you see now
That you was a rebound
And I don't wanna recount all the time that I warned you
And this a response to meridian
I put your face in a bar
ASMR
All your ducks sitting man
Bitch

years of love have been forgot, In the hatred of a minute.

bad taste 15x

I'm just so lucky to taste you at all Huh 
    you're so damn lucky you didn't answer my call at all
huh
 true story
yeahyeah

Used to keep you on rotation
 send me your location
Play like I ain't say none
 but really I just want your patience
 You think I'm a fake huh 
say it I'll laugh in your face huh
 Cuz I can admit that I hate 
everything that you brought to the plate  
Used to keep you on rotation
 send me your location
Play like I ain't say none 
But really I just want her place huh 
 You think I'm a fake huh 
say it I'll laugh in your face huh
 Cuz I can admit that I hate 
everything that you brought to the plate  

As of recent 
my feelings they change with the seasons
Today I hate you for no reason
 tomorrow I'll hate you for Plenty
She feel on my furry no Zenny 
I woe These Hoes like Kenny 
I got to stop lying I mean it
 I'm making less sense by the penny 

I got to let go of
All of the  things that I dreamed about us 
 all of the things that I knew about trust
 cuz I can't do that shit  for No One 
Think of me when it hits 7 months
 drink to me to let fill up your lungs 

so when you drown I can save you once again 
Do I love you still it depends
 will you say hi when I pass by
 hold me down when I'm uptight
 be my light love
(left a bad taste that night)
 I doubt it 
(left a bad taste that night)
Cuz I 

Used to keep you on rotation
 send me your location
Play like I ain't say none
 but really I just want your patience
 You think I'm a fake huh 
say it I'll laugh in your face huh
 Cuz I can admit that I hate 
everything that you brought to the-
Used to keep you on rotation
 send me your location
Play like I ain't say none 
But really I just want her place huh 
 You think I'm a fake huh 
say it I'll laugh in your face huh
 Cuz I can admit that I hate 
That u got sum bad taste

Left a bad taste in my mouth
Left a bad taste in my mouth
Left a bad taste in my-

the shit u did that night left a bad taste in my mouth

IF THE COPS NOT 'ROUND IT'S FREE
(THAT'S ON ME)
Leather jacket like Grease
You just like me 
"Yes Niece"
I'm Themi Lovato with a semi-auto
I'm anti-noun
Don't give a fuck 'bout nobody
Don't care what you call it
I feel like a wallet
I gave you some money
You fuck on somebody uh

She said she don't really love me 
So I look at her confused like are you kidding me?
She said I'm frequently up on a high horse
Like I had some access to ketamine
Said that I'm immature act like an amateur
Baby girl that's jus the kid in me
Said she's been keeping the secret and finally opened the bag
well the kitten mean
Call me Roger Rabbit
Cause i always take the beat
and I hate an acapella so I always keep the beat in

And I gotta new skill like a TM
and I got a new girl in my DMs
but I can't get close by a cm
so I walk that shit off when i see 'em

twenty four hundred 
all on my wrist
twenty four hundred
act like a bitch
she wanna go to Givenchy and shit
I'm tryna hit from the back and get lit
twenty four hundred 
drowning my wrist
twenty four hundred
act like a bitch
If she ever asks for birkins and shit
Imma act like I just didn't exist

(Tismo)
Yeah!
She gone keep askin for shit even though that she still don’t want it 
She gone keep askin for shit even though that she still don’t want it 
and it’s hard to believe that it’s hard being honest 
Really it feel like you do all this shit cause u know that u getting a profit 


She don’t wanna talk if it ain’t bout money
Hurricane flow so the bank stay flooded 
My girl coming home so i make the deposit 
Cash comin in so I really can’t stop it 
I stay in da water, Lil T hippopotamus 
Over-excessive dis hoe need a lot of it, lot of it 
Nobody ever acknowledge it 
fast foward in life you cant pause dis shit 
10 racks for this hoe that’s a lot for me 
10 racks jus for this hoe not to bother me 
I put the chalk round the beat cause i bodied it 
Baby i only want love if i know that its unconditional 
I don’t give a fuck bout whatcha post 
I don’t give a fuck bout what they want 
I dont give a fuck ill do the most 
We need to be accountable no excuses 
Why you keep streaming your love on computers 
I only called you to see what you doing

twenty four hundred 
drowning my wrist
twenty four hundred
act like a bitch
she wanna go to Givenchy and shit
I'm tryna hit from the back and get lit
for that twenty four 
twenty four
twenty four
twenty four
twenty four hundred

2400 temu warrior ft. Tismo (prod. mijaru)

I don't want your metaphors
I wanted to be all yours
I don't want your metaphors
don't want your meta-meta-
I don't want your metaphors
I wanted to be all yours
I don't want your metaphors
don't want your me-me-me-me-

I'd hate to see you in somebody else's arms
it'd make me never wanna try again
Bird cage
Stuck with all these burdens that I'm lyin' in 
At a new age 
I just wanna hide again
It's a new day 
I dont wanna find a friend
I'm lonely 
But I'm lonely with you
I'm hoping that you're telling the truth
Hard to know when you're falling to pieces 
if you've been shattered since 2-0-1-2

Mmm 
I may have sickle cell too
Way I'm missing a peace in me
Way you're missing a piece of you 
And that's real shit
Airport in your city
Acting like I ain't feel shit
Failed wars I was in the trenches tryna heal a bit
I know you better
I know your skin
oh and all the times you lied
And all the times i tried
I was countin' em
I sick of sounding numb
I'm sick of sounding desperate
If i call em f-
Then i hope that I'm not outing 'em 
I can't even act like it's some newfound love
You've been around
This my old shit
My 9/11 
2001
The giving tree put a splinter up in my sore thumb
And honestly I always had your love on the forefront
I guarantee if I gave you up I'd be so done
I'd be so done

 I don't want your metaphors
I wanted to be all yours (I don't want your metaphors)
I don't want your metaphors
don't want your meta-meta-(I don't want your metaphors)
I don't want your metaphors
I wanted to be all yours (I don't want 'em)
I don't want your metaphors
don't want your me-me-me-me-

xochi.

check check 
Y'all gonna keep on reaching too bizarre
True
 Y'all wanna kick it 'til I hit back 
Two piece audible
Bruh fuck her man I shake her hand
Say what's good 
what it do?
Not tryna kick it hit it but I'll do what you need me to

I'm not one to leave on read
I was gon pay for it
but I went fifty fifty
Jesus bread
 She ain't wanna stay for it
Don't wanna admit that she's a fed
I was gonna I was gonna 
I was gonna hit- Get get some
Newly wed
Do it again like bet
Bet (I bet I bet I bet)

Bet bet
I make her wet by the message I sent
Common event bet
She from a gated community
I tell her I'm on the fence
Aight bet
She wanna rep me
I thrust in the epee 
I'm one of the best aye

Been years since I fucked on a bed
Man is you kiddin' me?
I see no reason in head
Overstimulated when you feelin' me ah
Is you even there?
Did you even care?
Your ex man was my uber
Cancelled half-way there
(goddamn)
Kidding 

Y'all gonna keep on reaching too bizarre
True
 Y'all wanna kick it 'til I hit back 
Two piece audible
Bruh fuck her man I shake her hand
Say what's good
 what it do?
Not tryna kick it hit it but I'll do what you need me to

I'm not one to leave on read
I was gon pay for it
but I went fifty fifty
Jesus bread
 She ain't wanna stay for it
Don't wanna admit that she's a fed
I was gonna I was gonna 
I was gonna hit- Get get some
Newly wed
Do it again like bet
Bet

Do it again like bet
Bet
Z Starr

iBet Freestyle in C# Minor 7/8 prod. typecast

Am I a bad guy for still having your pics in my phone
nothing confidential
number 2 my pencil 
I still got ur name in my notes
Was breaking off essential? 
Maybe accidental?
Siempre leo mensajes en tu voz
I needa get over it
No more of that subtle shit
Clock ticking, haunting metronome
I'm just glad you came for the most

And I put you in that fresh plastic sheet
Tryna keep you mint condition bae
I've been saving money cuz the feds pay my tuition bae
Dressed in noir
Black tint but you shine like a-
Like a steel toe boot
I was 17 writing haikus
One syllable for every year I thought about you
One word for every moment that I felt like a fool
One day I'll see your face again

Cuz you're a smart kid
Are you on the east coast now? (Are you on the east coast?)
I wish I could peek through clouds
and the flowers you keep (to keep you steady)
I wish I could see through crowds (how are you?)
I'll send you a breeze in the summer 
so the water don't seep (when you're sweaty)
Cuz it's intoxicating
the way you leave on a short notice
it's so irritating
that your cameras so out of focus

i forgave you aug 4th @ 3:03 am

written by Aidan Jewell and Zurya Starr
Produced by plantcham (ady bought the beat thanks bae)

you, act
like im nun but a distraction 
sorta been here and there
im hearing rumors u got a new man
what his @ then?

you, see
so many new faces in athens
from troye to ithica ill make the journey 
just to go and see your reacton

been had issues for awhile
i, cut my hair to make you smile
try, something else on for a change
sometimes i just feel played 

everyday a new emotion
you been steady pulling all the strings 
every ounce of oxytocin
going missing when you're not with me

friends said "who this" when i called
you told me let them bygones
be bygones, but my God
i just want you so bad
I know I fall in love too quick
(I fall and I'll fall again, I fall and I'll fall again)
I fall again.

I got some issues been sitting by
therapy session and ran up cards
hotel room fuckin' if you can fall
don't expect me to catch you and fall in love
been on the pulse like an LFO
seven emotions I'll pedal those
go back and forth like a palindrome
she needs something I'll never grow

mmmmm
way that you complement me with your confidence
we so damn opposite
we so damn different
you want it i buy it you cop a fit
that is the offering
so what so what?
feel this way for no one
like what am i sayin' (like what am i sayin')
you make my heart race like usain (heart race like usain)
yeah, i feel like
i feel like you gave me an addy
damn you a baddie
never derailing
if you want my focus you already had me
sweeter than candy
sit on the patio
i wanna grow old with you
dig 'til i hit gold with you
when a bitch get slick loathe with you mm

oh you,
know me so well (know me so well)
that i get overwhelmed
by now you gotta understand why
i gotta make you mine
whoa i,
I'm no simpleton
but I'm lovin' the muse in your digi cam
it's just me and you aint no no middleman
no no no no no
i cant let you go go go go
i been on the road
tryna find you again

i dont think you'll ever get the amplitude of what i envision
ask my friends what i say about you they'll ask what rendition
I'm not even kiddin'
I just want your recognition
cupid hit with precision
and it hurt like a bitch

i fall and i'll fall again. (plantcham)

Written, Produced, Mixed, and Mastered by me

(Lyrics)
Puppy love
I, I miss that puppy love
Puppy love
I miss that, I miss that puppy love
Puppy love
I, I miss that puppy love
Puppy love oh
I, I miss that puppy love
Puppy love 

I've been hauling ass tryna move past ya
I've been taking shape, forming molten glass yeah
Met you 2018 it felt like last year
Now we 18, now we touching grass yeah
I still check you like Nike
Pleading you'll end the bit and just write me (There's no reason to write)
You're so used to sitting in hiding 
Yeah
Cause I'm usually Braun 
But I sob rain when I enter your arms you make me smarter
Usually ponder, "But you keep this weight on my chest, you make me stronger"
Shot in the heart, it feel like bolt action feeling like Harry Potter
When in the dark, you're a different person I forget you're someone' daughter

Can we stop wasting time
Tryna find a middle ground
Sick of wanting you right now
Personally, I think you put a curse on me 'cause recently I been the worst of me this-
 
Puppy love just seems to fuck me up (puppy love)
Your puppy love seems to fuck me, up (puppy love I, I miss that puppy love)
I don't want it I don't want it no I don't want it (Puppy love I miss that, I miss that) 
Puppy love 

Check Check

Due to foreign policy I can't get to close to you
'Less you up fuckin' on me 
Yeah I'm trippin' off the beat
Manifested me hating you so I see you differently
And I don't know how to fix it so I leave your ass on seen
And I, huh 
I cannot breathe when you 'round me (cannot breathe when you're round)
Don't even fly up to my county (rather be earthbound)
I don't wanna see you 'less we get like mochi pounding 
Do not touch my clothes I'll have to wash 'em 
Downy

Uh
When I left you out to dry
You got bleach stains well fuck, now you're compromised
I can read pain I, see it in your eyes
When I refrain from saying anything impolite
Or outing, anything I held inside (anything I held inside)
Or doubting you would ever tell a lie (you would ever tell a lie)
Only a took a bleach stain to lose my mind
Now it's you and I, and some ruined dye ('Cause I can't lose this)

to a bleach stain (puppy love)
(I, I miss that puppy love)
Can't lose to a bleach stain, I don't wanna lose to a bleach stain (puppy love)
I don't wanna (I miss that, I miss that puppy love)


So can we stop wasting time (ouh yeah yeah yeah)
Tryna find a middle ground (ouh yeah yeah yeah)
Sick of wanting you right now oh(ouh yeah yeah yeah)
(yeah yeah yeah oh oh)

puppylove.wav(circa 2022)

prod me

three moles on your upper lip look like orions belt
she stole my senses last thing that i felt
don't trust nobody else with your heart, took better care of myself
God Damn God Damn
God Damn God Damn
I ran it back with you I tripped and fell
So there's no telling where im setting sails
under your curse i'm on your terf i'm on that dave cha-
God Damn God Damn
God Damn God Damn

And if i lose in the end
Maybe you got too many friends
Maybe I'm just too damn selfish to let it improve no offense
I'm scared to lose again 
I done took too many L's
Three in a pod, two in a cell
If I'm not the one I send to her to-

 may be an 8 but do she conversate well?
Make you feel great? do tell do tell
Can't fight nones like a fake black belt
make the sin go (cinco) way like de mayo
 the mayo will never get to move like this
and i refuse to ever lose like this
Does she see you like I?
She may know how you smell
Three moles on your upper lip, orion's belt

Starting to see two, uh, Chanel
Pardon my see though, hm,  shell
I give advice put my passion aside
Cause I always wanna see you prevail
Going in blind and I can't read braille
Can i just follow your voice?

three moles on your upper lip look like orion's belt
she stole my senses last thing that i felt
don't trust nobody else with your heart, took better care of myself
God Damn God Damn
God Damn God Damn

3moles

off my next project "stālpra_2: moonflower" 
6/13 https://ffm.to/eightsixfive


I try not to entertain it (TWISTED!)
I try not to entertain it
I try not to entertain it
I try not to entertain it
I try not to entertain it (865 865)
I try not to entertain it (got me spinnin' 865 865)
I try not to entertain it (got me spinnin' 865 865)
I try not to entertain it (got me spinnin')
365 got me spinnin'

Eight six five
Man I hate this vibe, but I can't just hide myself behind
All these curtain blinds, man, of course I'm fine
But it hurts that I can't tell if I
Really love this girl or just want her body?
Yearn her text or I'm really just naughty?
But an eight six five always kill my vibe
Eight six five make me hate my life

Eight six five
Can't shake these spines
Took quite some time to heal
'Cuz I never patch my wounds
Just to past the time
Fighting passing thoughts of you
I've tried, dropping the ball, but it bounced right back
Catching the fall, but it caught me back
If I back things just a lil bit more
Will I cough things up like a Heimlich hack?

I don't know how you live like this (865)
Too damn far from me
And that shit got me twisted up
Dealing with my heretics (365)
Moving like contortionists
And that shit got me twisted up
Don't know how you live like this (865)
Too damn far from me
That shit got me twisted up
Dealing with my heretics (365)
Move like a contortionist
Now that shit got me twisted up

I should be deterred by 563 thousand acres
But I'm too immersed in this
I guess the worst had occurred
I think of you first; and now all of my verses miss
Burnt lips from the get-go mm
And you met her through a cellphone? Mm

Like bitch, shut up! (1 2 3)
'Cause you're several states away from my car
I would need a miracle to make it that far
So when reality strikes my heart
I'll blame that holy bastard that set us apart

I try not to entertain it
I try not to entertain it
I try not to entertain it
I try not to entertain it
I try not to entertain it (865 865)
I try not to entertain it (got me spinnin' 865 865)
I try not to entertain it (got me spinnin' 865 865)
(you got me spinnin'?)
365 got me spinnin'

(I'm a friend of Moonflower!)

(Talkin' 'bout Moonflower the one with the red hair, right?)

It's the same old fuckin' feeling
Does it have any effect on you?
'Cause it's a shame that I glance over my shoulder
Towards the past, I keep replaying when it's over

And I reap what is sown (and the love in my heart can't let you slide)
Emotional, I weep the lovely bones ('cuz a twenty-hour flight can't save my life)
Of what we couldn't be (I was ten toes deep when I cut my vice)
I tried to burn these pages (now the GOP tryna take my life; I got bigger issues)
Soaring through the darkness like ravens (so a five-foot two can't kill my vibe)

I fear there was a death that creeped on in (0-3-0 0-3-0 Gun me down like a dead C-E)
He murdered that old person that you took for granted (0-3-0 0-3-0 Never cared when you saw me at my low)
And now there's just a shell of what previously was (still tryna hit me up when no one else around)
Turned into a relic of an ancient love (silent my phone and transition out, 0-3-0 Won't answer, no)
That is never coming back (and this convos loose like a dancer now)

I try not to entertain it (don't know how you live like this)
I try not to entertain it (too damn far from me; and that shit got me twisted up)
I try not to entertain it (dealing with my heretics)
I try not to entertain it (moving like contortionists, and that shit got me-)
Don't know how you live like this
I try not to entertain it (too damn far from me, that shit got me twisted up)
I try not to entertain it (dealing with my heretics)
I try not to entertain it (move like a contortionist)
now that shit got me-

eightsixfive

eightsixfive ft. aras moon

prod me

GIRL YOU GOT SOMETHIN ON YO
GIRL YOU GOT SOMETHIN ON YO
GIRL YOU GOT SOMETHIN ON YOUR MIND!

what's on your mind these days?
you don't got time to talk i'm feeling like a Vine these days
these seven seconds played on loop but i don't mind these days
i got more pictures of you than me on my phone
and imma blame the fact that i can't keep a tidy space

im artificial at times i got a plastic taste 
but i'm still natty inside, i don't got kylie's face
but i don't say that with pride
i think about a surgery when i'm not looking too great

you got your mama's eyes and your daddy's race
cellular device must be hard to trace, you never link up, sync up
you never link up, sync up, (with me bae)
pink cup at the function, let me feel it
tell me grow up, but don't want to bone meal it
i was never last pick, but never first pick
too tired now, like i was a rip stick

 without you, I cannot function, I conceal it
 i don't want to act like a weirdo who's fake
and only really cared just to take you a date
cuz i love you as a friend but i know i can't replace this

what's on your mind these days ?
you don't got time to talk, i'm feeling like a Vine these days
these seven seconds played on loop but i don't mind these days
I've been working for the wrong CEO
working on your time and you're not even mine to claim

so imma blame it on my bedroom

yeah 

and in my adolescence i learned a couple lessons 
had to lose my best friend just to know ya
captivated by your essence, i'm always asking questions
bowl of big why's like i'm yoshinoya (put my best in)
and in the night
When i ask you to call do i annoy ya?
oh yeah
nighttime loving like Latoya 
oh yeah
i don't want to have to sneeze to have your blessing
i can't keep on guessing 

what's on your mind these days 
 you're my best sin, envious and highly dazed
my aggressive nature is something i can't change 
like high school pacers, i'm running back and forth just to match your pace 

what's on your mind these days  ?
am I embarrassing now with all my hide debased ?
Parasitic with no mind if my God give grace  ?
my headache just short of a real migraine
 do deserve your reign if I'm of fire ?

so what's on your mind these days ?
mmm what's on your mind ?
what's on your mind these days ?

lesbihonest freestyle 4.2.25

I think I relate to David (more than i thought)
'Cause your ego is Goliath (I've been)
So I've been crumpling the pages
you won't read the same as I did
And i hate to make it so infantilizing
But I promise to God my frontal lobe ain't there (I've been)
Cause I've been so happy just getting my "hi's" in
That I haven't felt this low since last year

 I've been

I've been on twitter since 12 years old
How you out-bird in a two week gap? 
Whiplash, baby you switch so fast
'ion even know how he did all that (uh huh let's get it)
you want the funds, you want the mula, you want the cash (uh huh let's get it)
I was in love, I was a fool-ah, I was a pass

How am I finding dirt if I just grazed the grass (just stuff I see)
How you gon' act all hurt when you were the first to blast? (fuck the sleeve)
I wear my heart on my shirt, it's not an easy task (got love on me)
cuz I Coulda did my worst, I coulda not held back

It's funny cuz your episode's in my season though
how I'm supposed to be the bread winner when you ain't even make regionals
I was fine with your antics, I just thought you needa know 
That he would've called you dyke
like 3 weeks ago

and that's funny 
that's funny to me!
Brown boy baljeet with a blue Audi don't want you to have rights?
Bon Appetit huh?
You move so weird now
Pick up your feet bruh (pick 'em up, pick 'em up!)


'Cause I've been on twitter since 12 years old' 
How you out-bird in a two week gap? 
Whiplash, baby you switch so fast
'ion even know how he did all that (uh huh let's get it)

You're just a girl, diamonds and pearls
you want a man (uh huh let's get it)
Damn I could hurl
you was my world, I was a fan
I was a fan

Obsessed with you ?
Who the fuck obsessed with you? 
It was me and you space in the middle like a vestibule
Never wanted something more
you just want it next to you
You wanted materials
Hope he build a nest for you

Obsessed with you?
Who obsessed? 
I was just feeding your ego best
You ain't even hungry, Budapest
Then you end up switching
Who'd a guessed?

I was fine with the third wheel
'til you took that bird pill
'til you took that bird pill
'til you took that bird pill

brdpill'd

(thank you zenny for letting me use your beat ily) Go run them up  @zentobox leotwoone.bandcamp.com/track/shots-furalitysomna



Think you did damage, I'm the same HP
Brand new kid, but the same old me
Think that sting, you the same old bee
J got cold now it's KOD 
These dumb ass hoes really got no dreams
How is the function?>
How is the function?>
How is the function?>
From the outside 
 
yeah
Hole in your pocket explain why you flip on a dime and this time it was truly pathetic
I shoulda called up a ref, shoulda called the divine, shoulda called up a real paramedic 
I shoulda never said nothin' but when I said love you I told you how truly I meant it 

z starr, bitch

Somebody please call up the referee, that lil bitch garnered the best of me
and now I'm gon call it a misdemeanor, she really felt like the ecstasy
and all of my homies are texting me
"Aint that your girl on my FYP?"
it honestly feel like they testing me (they testing me)

But it's my own delusions that's gon' mess with me
cuz she look so much better when she next to me
And I'm on my Yazida, bitch we Meant2b
So bae just come on set, (come on set!) Bet!

Voyeuristic, you gon' know it when I come on stage
Y'all are bitches, y'all too damn obnoxious for your age 
Phoebe Bridgers, Bisexual but cannot pick a phase
Now your year gon miss a month like Peter Parker missing May

I was born to run it up and you was born to run in place
I was stuck up in a rut before i learned that y'all was lames
Think you got a super man but he ain't even Lois Lane
Think you'd learn to gain some sense but there's a reason you don't change

Think you did damage, I'm the same HP
Brand new kid, but the same old me
Think that sting, you the same old bee
J got cold now it's KOD 
These dumb ass hoes really got no dreams
How is the function?>
How is the function?>
How is the function?>
From the outside 
 
(from the outside!)
Hole in your pocket explain why you flip on a dime and this time it was truly pathetic
I shoulda called up a ref, shoulda called the divine, shoulda called up a real paramedic 
I shoulda never said nothin' but when I said love you I told you how truly I meant it
how truly I meant it

unl;ock freestyle 6.16 (prod. zenny)

Jerome Barr on sax

(The trouble with you is, You don't seem to understand what love is really about!
You young punks go to the movies a couple times,
Do a little necking and you think you're in love!)


And I'm sorry that I kept my love attached (love)
I was tryna get our strings to match
I won't hold it against ya (darling)
You was always running (out of yarn)
If pins and needles don't hold me down, use plasters and decals

I'll pray to God you're here
When it all disappears, will you hold me then?
I'll wipe you of your tears
I'll hide your greatest fears, 'til our story ends 


I oughta know,
why you feel like a second wind? (always breezy on the costal side)
I oughta know,
if you'll ever come back again? (wasn't easy, but you know I tried)



So sorry that I kept my love attached (love)
I was tryna get our strings to match
I won't hold it against you (darling)
You was always running (out of harm)
Like hay and needles, I can't find you (no)


So if pins don't hold my seams (And if I don't find you who will?)
Put a ladder in between, and patch me up
(I sent you my angels to guide you too)
(For the life of me I'd give my life for you)
Embroidered in my head
There's a carmine-colored thread, with the past of us 


I oughta know where you been my whole life (oughta know yeah)
With your highlights in, soft eyes and
You were the same as I (you were the same as I)
Cherry blossom skin, It was different then	
I oughta know, If you always planned to let go


And no one can force things that aren't meant to be, (that aren't meant to be)
But if you're tangled up I'll cut you a piece (cut you a piece)
Of our string (of our string)
Of our string (of our string)
Of our string
Reminder I'm still here when your gone ('cause no one can force things that aren't meant to be)
'Cause i'm still used to being your pawn (but if you're tangled up I'll cut you a piece)
So if you see a ball of yarn rolling in the wind (of our string) 
Just know it leads you back to my arms (of our string, of our string)





carmine-colored thread

check check

p- p- pull up on my best friend
you gon meet my bad side
i never played red dead
But i'm redeeming bands like
Damn! 
Why your pocket look like webster diction?
Damn!
Cooking like you invented the kitchen
Imma feel like Benson
Gummy when my balls dry
Imma need all hands in
wonder if my fans like
Damn!
What's the reason you so damn ambitious?
Damn! 
If you think i'm big mouth come and kiss it yuh


All of my jewelry local
You want ICEBOX (oh hecks nah)
that's why I stay drippin' like an eye drop
Fuck it (drip, drip, drip)
You capitalist
I'm passive aggressive (i'm passive aggressive)
I'm hungry for you hoes
like a cannibal is (grraah)

You still on the bottom that's why i top (*bitch)
Already know I won like a cyclops (you's a- you's a bitch)
Aiming heads i practice a bit
got more motion than activists (yuh)
my VPN in Canada so I might be a pacifist

And I'm coming in the night so bae don't worry (oh please don't worry)
I don't see the world as black and white, mcflurry
CDC said I'm sikh'er than Guru Nanak
And the wocky got me walking like la cucaracha
I was stuck in statis
Don't ask my bout no names
Don't remember faces
You receive this whole fade
You smell atracious
Girl come catch this OLAY
I'm running bases running bases running 

pull up on my best friend
you gon meet my bad side
i never played red dead
But i'm redeeming bands like
Damn! 
Why your pocket look like webster diction?
Damn! 
Cooking like you invented the kitchen
Imma feel like Benson
Gummy when my balls dry
Imma need all hands in
wonder if my fans like
Damn! 
What's the reason you so damn ambitious?
Damn! 
If you think i'm big mouth come and kiss it yuh

Bovid Benson 1.17.25 (prod. COMBO)

Shawty here on school VISA
I gotta find her name
I wanna be her teacher
what she do for a grade?
Catch me under steel bleacher
right after the game
No need for no party
If it's just you and me
If it's just you and me

You don't need no party girl
That's just not your lifestyle
Ride it like a Harley girl
I'll show you the right style
5 Star Drive on her
And we can go how many miles 
You'd like (you'd like)
You'd like (you'd like)
You'd like

She got 15k on the gram
I rather have 15 grams
Barely fuck with my friends 
so buddy don't call me fam
and these groupie hoes be sticky
I had to spray some PAM (had to spray sum)
Introduced me to some thickie that's W- (mans)
W W dot
Had to take it to the world wide web
Words I said to the sword I fought
You was nothing but a girl I met
You was nothing but a girl I sought
You was nothing but a thought in head
Fed you and my brain went pop
caught you and undid your rot

Shawty here on school VISA
I gotta find her name
I wanna be her teacher
what she do for a grade?
Catch me under steel bleacher
right after the game
No need for no party
If it's just you and me
If it's just you and me

You don't need no party girl
That's just not your lifestyle
Ride it like a Harley girl
I'll show you the right style
5 Star Drive on her
And we can go how many miles 
You'd like (you'd like)
You'd like (you'd like)
You'd like
You don't need no party girl
That's just not your lifestyle
Ride it like a Harley girl
I'll show you the right style
5 Star Drive on her
And we can go how many miles 
You'd like (you'd like)
You'd like (you'd like)
You'd like
You'd like

WHTVRuLIKE (prod. COMBO)

VENISON FREESTYLE 8.11.24 (prod. 33roa)


diary entries sonically formed in my brain

july.

Pinned to spotlight

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