A pattern language/Massive flying creature

🕮◖🗒⌕⚿ ◗📕

A pattern language

Massive flying creature

Postlude

Stagnant bliss

Drive link to writing accompanying the pieces :
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yQB4Ne39iQjZi8bykPPNrneU0Yj9FZbg/view?usp=sharing 

Artwork & additional vocals by @flagrastama

Bandcamp release includes bonus tracks & artworks! 

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“ofania” is an album inspired by a very hard period in my life. During 2021-2022 I struggled with an intense case of body dysmorphia. Hours spent in front of the mirror compulsively checking my appearance every single day, completely rewired, obsessive thought patterns, compulsions that partially stayed with me until now - and so on. It even got so bad I almost broke a part of my face while trying to “fix” a self-perceived flaw. It felt like my brain turned into a puddle. I couldn’t think of anything else, the compulsions felt like worshipping a god that gets off on watching you decay.

I made ofania throughout 2023, as soon as I started getting out of that shit. Of course it’s still not perfect and some days can be hard, but I am in such a healthier & happier place now - and I'm really proud of that. I learned to deal with intrusive thoughts better and not let them bleed into my identity anymore.

Making the album was really therapeutic for me. It tells my personal experiences through a grandiose, kinda gaudy fictional narrative. I’m an overdramatic bitch sometimes. Building a grand fantasy setting around a very intimate experience was an intuitive way for me to let my emotions out & express myself.

It tells the story of Veels - proud creatures brought to their knees by an infection breaking their minds into a submissive, drone-like state and submerging them in black tar. It tells that story from two perspectives - a protagonist named Finn trying their best to not give in to the virus - and an environmental view of the valley in which it’s taking place.
It ends with Finn and the rest of their kind fully giving into the corruption. Thick black slime spewing out of their mouths, empty stares and quiet moans is all that’s left. Story-wise, it felt fun to end the album on a dark note, but on a personal level it serves as a bit of a warning. The twisted view you had of yourself was never real and you needed to separate yourself from this parasitic symbiote if you didn’t want to end up like this.

The project obviously has a very kinky undertone. The hypno/drone elements have been implemented consciously - I noticed that the way I think about dysmorphia somewhat crosses with what entices me about those. I tried to lean into it and explore the line between the two. Can I make something therapeutic by expressing those heavy topics through a kinky fantasy lens? How do these two mesh in my brain and can I explore the connection safely & carefully for myself? It’s a really interesting dynamic - I find the album as dark as I find it hot lol

Sonically, I wanted to represent the corruption settling in the valley. Initially it’s rejected - the noise is brutally polluting the instrumentation around it, which sounds erratic & anxious in response. As the infection settles in, so does the instrumentation which starts to harmonize with the noise the more it lets it in.
Structurally, it’s definitely program music. I tried to represent the story events in the actual audio very methodically - to the point of me knowing which sounds are diegetic vs non diegetic to the universe inside.

With the release of ofania, I'm closing a chapter in my art and I am ready to enter a new one. I’m really fucking proud of this piece and my journey to get here. It’s honestly what I wished I could create when I started making music - and then some! I hope you can find something in it too.

-Raz


Special thanks to Mom, Flagrastama, Shevvy, Vidvana, Fen, Nadpher and Mei for supporting the project thru-out the process <3

ofania

ofania (full album)

trying to make music making fun and careless once again...
practicing whole-half improv skills also

galang

took adhd meds for the first time in a while it's crazy how it's actually possible to make things when you're able to think

1 - 11

5-26-2025 18-34-6

Juniper

Wandering on the wet sand of the beach...my steps coming from far away....the fog is rising....the rain is falling on me....where am I going?

Massive flying creature

june% (June percent)

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