thingsiwanttosay

how to steal a ballpark

prod. by: thms 
written by: thms.
-------------------------------
//yeah, I mean how could you?
//how am I?
//that’s a joke right, right?
//like you're joking? 
//oh, you're not.

oh
Things were going too good
Don’t get me misunderstood
The doubts around
They turned to truths throughout

through septembers cold i stood
didn't need what I thought I would
going numb in my face
But the winds that blow weren't what you'd think

I'll say
For my estate

That it's easy
For something to come along 
and pretend to save face

and you'll speak
bout how i never listened
Do you hear yourself in the words you’re saying?

These things just don't do this.
rotten luck at its core I swear
Might as well be toothless cause im
Coping hard on my own

And it feels so useless
I won't breathe with my own lungs
But I already feel this
Left alone in a broken home

on my own
I'll stand shone
may not be long
But I'll fight as long as I hold on

to be strong
don’t feel like i can know
But I know ive got a way
A way 

So I'll be here
and I'll wait for years
yeah I'll hold back the tears
can't you see im right here? Replace my fears.

because this wont heal
its pressing on me and I feel
the world is spinning they wont hear
me like you do. God, I need you. 

I swear to god 
Im not crazy
I just hate the things 
That you make me

You're cliché 
with no taste see
No thoughts 
That heads so empty

Going in blind not chasing
The waters too deep for saftey
Dive in headfirst im lazy
No regard for lifelike shading

Here come take me
Please baby
I need saftey in your arms
I'm going crazy

I hate being
This shell so empty
My mind is going dark

watercolors

This shit got my heart racing
Like the back of a red nissan in high school
Red Bonnets, and girls saying that I liked you
Everyday was a brand new cycle

But it's with all the same faces
No different when im pacing around my room
Indifferent thoughts to the thesis that I write about you

God I got to think this through…


Can't think 
Cause my mind is always on you 
You you you 

and I don’t know 
what you want me to do... 
I mean 
“what can I do for you?” 

Cause it’s a firefight 
and “everything’s all right!” 
there’s a space in all this time 
(//Speak for yourself!//) 

Cause you have nothing left to lose. 
Ooo.




*open*





And I'm so sick of this
oh yeah I'm sick of this
all of your ignorance
I need to swallow it?

Cause im all of it?
and im in abyss
Baby please don't miss
Because I

Can't think 
Cause my mind is always on you 
You you you 

and I don’t know 
what you want me to do... 
I mean 
“what can I do for you?” 

Cause it’s a firefight 
and “everything’s all right!” 
there’s a space in all this time 
(//Speak for yourself!//) 

Cause you have nothing left to lose. 
Ooo.

Im sick of this
Im so sick of this
all of your ignorance
I need to swallow it?

Cause im all of it?
and im in abyss
Baby please don't miss
Because

I don't know what I want
But I know I want your love
So give me what I trust
You and me, you and me

lavender (feat. deathright)

sorry not sorry~
prod+written by me
{remastered 10.22}

you just lost the game

written + prod by thms.
--------------------------------
It's so funny to see you
Jump for joy
Then run in fear 

In the parking lot at 5 am, yeah
You got me in my feels

Thinking about all the things
That we ain't
Yeah im slain
My heart is racing against time again

This is the end 
Of my thoughts
On the subject of us

And who i am
And what i'll be
And whether you'll be 
There standing beside me

Its a fever dream
To count on anything you say like 
One Two Three Okay

It's so funny to see you
Jump for joy
Then find your shield

In the parking lot at 5 am, yeah
And now I know what I feel

Thinking about all the things
That we ain't
Yeah im slain
My heart is racing against time again

This is the end 
Of my thoughts
On the subject of us

And who i am
And what i'll be
And whether you'll be 
There standing beside me

Its a fever dream
To count on anything you say like 
One Two Three Okay

one, two, three, okay

prod. + written by thms.
---------------------------------
If I decide my fate
Then where do I go from here
(Cause I don't know)

The things you wouldn't believe
I've seen them they're all right here

You hide your tail 
And turn to leave 
Like you always do

Trust me I don't know what you're thinking 
so read between these lines yeah im not faking

and you'll find what I mean
Yeah you'll find you're in between
And I just wanna be here for you

Step in my shoes
Feel how I feel and tell me
What to do and choose

You simply know best
That's what you tell the rest
Now we're fucking like it never really mattered in the end

If I decide my fate
(The fuck should I choose to please you?)

Then where do I go from here
(Cause I don't know)

The things you wouldn't believe
I've seen them they're all right here
(I've seen them, I dont know how you're right here!~)

You hide your tail 
And turn to leave 
Like you always do

pastels

written by: thms.
prod.: thms. 
-------------------------
Throw another token in the wishing well
(so im binded by faith to you.)
I wish you didn't find me when I lived in this hell
But oh well,

I'm not what you think 
I want to be
But I'll be that man
Eventually

And there's nothing to stop
My bones from keeping this
Out of my reach

And I don't want to pretend
That everything that happens
Was perfect for us
Baby

But maybe
I can beg for forgiveness
Realize our difference 
Is who we are

Settle the scores
Before we go to war 
And I'll find myself
On this perilous journey

Of who I am
And what I'll be

But I'll be me till the end
 
So I’ll stand in this corner 
Holding my breath, 
Thinkin’ about the things 
That’ll never be said 

Breakdown after breakdown 
I’m aching my brain 
All my love’s been wasted
Gone down the drain

I’m a witness to your horror 
A broken man indeed 
I’ve seen your little gambit 
Your lies and deceit 

Your ability to please me
Its a drug you see 
it shredded me to pieces 
But it's all that I seek

So what am I supposed 
To think of you 
Everything we play 
We played to lose 

And now I have no home again 
Thanks to you 
But I wont be alone again 
Yeah I swear that im done with this

And I don't want to pretend
That everything that happens
Was perfect for us
Baby

But maybe
I can beg for forgiveness
Realize our difference 
Is who we are

Settle the scores
Before we go to war 
And I'll find myself
On this perilous journey

Of who I am
And what I'll be

But I'll be me till the end

I swear to god 
Im not crazy
I just hate the things 
That you make me

Going in blind not chasing
The water's too deep
For safety
For safety

crimson iris

prod + written by: thms.
----------------------------
I tried for two years
To convince you I loved you
But how is that fair
You better drink this in

Cause I'm out for repairs
And I'm way past my curfew
But you won't care
Because you never did

lapse

re-prod/cover of:
@thatcherblackwood - front and center
https://soundcloud.com/thatcherblackwood/sets/front-and-center

thms; reporting for duty!~

prod by thms. + @prodbykori
written by thms. + @notdiscxrdia
-------------------------
thms.:

Yeah just hold me
I don’t see why this can't be 
A whole thing

But that's okay
I'll stay right now
Cause im falling

And i need you see Atlas upon me
Yeah it's all on me

Yeah I don’t know why im so cold
These days I can barely do what I'm told
And that's why I reap what I sow
Oh I know

discxrdia:

what do you mean
i've been screaming 
looking at the screen
i don't know how to deal with you
i hate the things that you make me do

i don't know 
how can i know?
where to go
how to act when i'm with you
and i'm falling over again

baby i'm still trapped inside your eyes
and when i looked at you i couldn't realize
that i was in love for the first time

break me babe i'll jump from a cliff
 i don't wanna be the one who brings mischief
please release all the chains that you put me

thms.:

Yeah I don’t know why im so cold
These days I can barely do what I'm told
And that's why I reap what I sow
Oh I know

Oh I don't understand why you hate me
Just last night im calling you baby
There's very little for me to believe
I need your word just to set me free

The search party ends at twilight
And there's nothing I can do 
To make this feel alright

Searching memories for the right time
To put all my faith in the limelight

That changing stare
Can't make you feel 
What isn't there
//So how can I be free

This lifelong care
It's all I got left
But this isn't fair

Yeah I don’t know why im so cold
These days I can barely do what I'm told
And that's why I reap what I sow
Oh I know

summer (feat. discxrdia)

prod + written: thms.
circa. 2020
--------------------------
burnt horizons, made of sun lust
but im still reaching
please don’t fault me
cause im trying to be something that im not

i still can't breathe I need your air
you're what keeps me alive its not fair
im still here
im still here

im just scared I'm not what you need baby
but you know what I mean when I say this
its not fair
its so real
yeah I swear

staring at the skyline
when I'm alone nothing feels right
you're the only thing on my mind
transitive thoughts in the moonlight

but who am I to say?
I just wanna feel okay.
that night replays in my brain
I just couldn't find the words to say.

who I am to feel so out of place?
you're the only thing that I daydream of;
is this fate?

//its so real, yeah I swear
//i feel you, you're right there

cause I'm reeling in this rose tint
it's the color of our facet
our minds together, so not passive an'
I just need your lips to feel whole again

i still can't breathe I need your air
you're what keeps me alive its not fair

//its so real, yeah I swear
//i feel you, you're right there

and where was i

and where was i?
https://soundcloud.com/just_thms/and-where-was-i

lost my mind again!

prod. by: outset
written by: thms.
------------------
Yeah so tell me
Is it what you say
Oh whats his name

He's in the back of our car
And we've not gone to far

As I pull away toward the everglades
With the sun shining
Our back

(Maybe I'll relapse)
And I'll

Cope away
Everyday
The pain'll stay
But you wont and hey

i tried to save // so i'll try to save
Everything

now its lost at sea // but im lost at sea
And you wont come find me // won't you come find me?

and this
Is not what I tried
Yeah
I wont reside
In this

Whatever im supposed to be
I just keep trying
No point denying this 

I hear atlas's world fall from here
He tried to tell me I should just without fear

Where does that take me?

Yeah I can't save me
Won't you tell me what you mean
I'm confused lately
It's a daydream

Losing all of my real thoughts
no memory of our daily
Only thing I see is 
All the things I hate being

So can we sunbake the pain away again
I don't know if I can keep playing this pretend
You pull me this way then these days
I swear its like I am just casper and you're just a bitch

So what was that thing you said again?
We're just warm bodies cause you know "I'm just a friend?"
That's when you tell me that I'm yours at 2 AM
And I always should've known that you wanted him instead

Yeah so tell me
Is it what you say
Oh whats his name

He's in the back of our car
And we've not gone to far

As I pull away toward the everglades
With the sun shining
Our back

(Maybe I'll relapse)
And I'll

Cope away
Everyday
The pain'll stay
But you wont and hey

i tried to save // so i'll try to save
Everything

now its lost at sea // but im lost at sea
And you wont come find me // won't you come find me?

and this
Is not what I tried
Yeah
I wont reside
In this

fort lauderdale (prod. outset)

1 take sessions from thms.
https://soundcloud.com/just_thms/crimsoniris
-------------------------
Throw another token in the wishing well
(so im binded by faith to you.)
I wish you didn't find me when I lived in this hell
But oh well,

I'm not what you think 
I want to be
But I'll be that man
Eventually

And there's nothing to stop
My bones from keeping this
Out of my reach

And I don't want to pretend
That everything that happens
Was perfect for us
Baby

But maybe
I can beg for forgiveness
Realize our difference 
Is who we are

Settle the scores
Before we go to war 
And I'll find myself
On this perilous journey

Of who I am
And what I'll be

But I'll be me till the end

crimson iris (stripped 1 take)

prod. + written by thms.
----------------------------------
//Whats with the hourglass
//There's so much time that’s passed
//watching each grain fall fast

//I cant say why we wont last
//You wont tell me so face the fact
//Its over and that’s just that 

It’s the things you say to me
In the back of our car going 80, chasing dreams
It's all I can believe  
Why can't you see it?
 
Yeah I swear that we share the same please,
whats a life without your soul in me
Yeah baby won't you see
That im all you need

//what else can I say

I fought our wars
Bloodshed for you
These scars i've torn
Standing at your doors

And you wont accept these
Yeah why would you test me

things have run their course
yet i just want more
they march on my shores 
but yet i implore

Bring back the mars and envy
My blood was worth your every

And I know these 
don’t just go away
But I'm right here 
frozen in place

Swear to god say 
what you wanna say
That’s what I thought
you can't say it to my face

That's why you filter through my dreams
Gives me something to believe
Something no one else can need
That's why im right here

For you my dear
Not telling a soul who can speak
About all the things in me
that's why i write in stones

Too breathe it in once more
Didn't think this is what it would take
duplicates stay raised on my brain
Why would you leave me?

It’s the things you say to me
In the back of our car going 80, chasing dreams
It's all I can believe  
Why can't you see it?
 
Yeah I swear that we share the same please,
whats a life without your soul in me
Yeah baby won't you see
That im all you need

//what else can I say

I fought our wars
Bloodshed for you
These scars i've torn
Standing at your doors

And you wont accept these
Yeah why would you test me

things have run their course
yet i just want more
they march on my shores 
but yet i implore

Bring back the mars and envy
My blood was worth your every

And I'll never understand the maybe
Is it why im so damn hazy
The decision seems clear 
so baby

Please save me 
im drowning in this

Lake
your raising 

Won't understand why you hate me
Just reminders of our new daily
Won't ever waste my time

yeah lately
things seem

Just as there 
meant to be

im drowning 
please save me
please save me
please save me


//Whats with the hourglass
//There's so much time that’s passed
//watching each grain fall fast

//I cant say why we wont last
//You wont tell me so face the fact
//Its over and that’s just that

expectations

prod. + written by thms. x
---------------------------------
So it it my fault
that this is what isn't
do we have live in past tense?
this doesn't feel like it matters to you

Can you live with indifference?
I flew too close to the sun
It's a shame you won't visit
I knew you'd just turn to run

I'll free fall forever
cause nothing can really matter
I can't see the clouds up here
but nothing seems real either

so don't even bother
my lines disconnected often
these fallacies yeah they can kill
it's hard when there's nothing to feel

//why do you hate me?
//please don’t replace me
//don't know what I would do here
//without your gravity next to me

//oh, yeah so please
//come find me

//i just wanna hold your hand again
//one look in your brown eyes
//I'll fold oh man
//I'll be right there till the end

so don't try to win me over
I'll go 108 without October
boy these lies, yeah they'll boil over

but im lost in calling

I can't think without bawling

but nothing seems with wrong with me
can't help but chase broken dreams
like sunsets but the sky keeps falling  

I'll free fall forever
cause nothing can really matter
I can't see the clouds up here
but nothing seems real either

so don't even bother
my lines disconnected often
these fallacies yeah they can kill
it's hard when there's nothing to feel

//find another in a looking glass
//don't think you'll find this time will pass
//here and there wont ease the pain, for fact
//trips to paris wont you square this up and ship it back 

//trips like this are a blast of past
//and februarys winter cold is coming fast
//i don’t know how you feel but this
//isn't something that I can outlast 

man cant relate to a clear head
was it something I said?
man cant relate to a clear head
must be something I said

lost in emotion
cant translate your okays
That’s why they say that 
You're so two faced

False traps
And my emotionally loose states
Cant wait because you cause
Me too lose, can't breathe 

I cant be nothing
im all that ive got
these feelings so empty
guess they'll just rot

I'll live in his envy
Of all that we're not
Burned bridges wont hold up
The weight of our thoughts

This isn't the story 
but its what i got
Im writing our ending
Cross you out the plot

I'm falling, no rushing
to put you at the top
and rightfully so
im all that im not 

every path on the turnpike feels nice
but bright headlights in the back blind my eyes
no sense in driving thru nights
cause feelings they'll leave with the light

it's torture to know that you're fine
cause the scars that you left they burn bright
and i know that it all ends in time

Freefall

freefall

prod. + written by: thms.
-------------------------
Cause ive been gunned down
Im left right where
The unknowns
They carry my weight 

and those sun stoned
(your) brown eyes emptying me
It’s a place we don’t want to be

So I'll reach 
And i'll find my peace
wont stop the lack of poise and

I'll walk my road
I wont stay for long
There's simply things we cant escape

Like how ive been
And your dismiss
An' emptiness

Is all there is
But I'll remiss 
And there's a cliff

So don’t fall
Its my turn

You don’t get 
to feel hopeless 
out of rope 

Yeah 
You got me strung 
And this is what you get

But why am I paying prices?
for what you did
I caused none of this 

This is what you get
This is what you get
But why am I paying prices

For what you did
I caused none of this
And the price I've paid is priceless

Yeah every bliss
Was it worth it?
Cause im left to my devices

For what you did
I caused none of this  


So break line
I don't know to deal with this
Why hit mine
You're crossed up in 
unrequited facetimes, 
and forgiveness
Lets face time
You've gone ghost 

and I don't mind 
When you walk the talk 
that im given

But it's my life
And im not one to 
go wasting this
im wasting it

I bet you thought that this was nothing
all the roads that lead to you
But my convivence to you is something 

And the echoes of you two are so numbing
Could you could be forthcoming
Fallacies got your fever rushing

Oh for me
I'll believe
What you make me see


This is what you get
This is what you get
But why am I paying prices

For what you did
I caused none of this
And the price I've paid is priceless

Yeah every bliss
Was it worth it?
Cause im left to my devices

For what you did
I caused none of this  
 
//do you enjoy what I think lately?
//pyromanic thoughts and endless loops
//inside daydreams
//oh but maybe, baby

//I threw a token in a wishing well
//yeah I was wishing well
//and baby
//I know you heard me

So break line
I don't know to deal with this
Why hit mine
You're crossed up in 
unrequited facetimes, 
and forgiveness
Lets face time
You've gone ghost 

and I don't mind 
When you walk the talk 
that im given

But it's my life
And im not one to 
go wasting this
god ive wasted it

prices

12/14 - brakence live set

and where was i? (thms. live edit)

prod. by: thms.
drums by: @savesomeone
written by: thms.
-------------------------
And I think
that its funny that you're open
because you know im so broken
accosted
and left on the floor

oh no
oh no
oh no

I know
That we're running out of options
So you'll just steal it again
yeah i know

oh yeah baby I know

And if we wait for the answer
It won't come our way
We'll wash and fade  
Is that okay? 

Its not hard when
you don’t hide
your face
and those eyes tell me that there's
   
//they tell me everything


no time for reckless truths and
We'll find the only proof is
behind the curtains moved and  
this time I'll fight for you but

Next time you'll bite the bullet
rewind there's still time to move and
Realize there's nothing to this

Just say it
Please say it

peace be with you
I just won't go

are you gonna steal my heart again 
oh no

//put your hands up and 
//type in your snapchat right now 
//type your snapchat right now
//do it come on

Those brown curls showing gold and
Its bout the way it flows and
You know just where this goes
and you know I'll follow you

Endless I won't be holding
Something you know is stolen
Sometimes silence will fold and
I said I wont hold

//i can't handle this

The peace inside
You'll tear the line
Know we won't find it again

Petrified
Can't reside
I won't lose this again

Think of my
Endless nights
Waiting for that face to walk in

How will I
Dream tonight
Well I won't cause I fear

//they tell me everything

That you'll steal my heart again
Oh no

I fear you'll steal my heart again
Oh no

I fear you'll steal my heart again
Oh no

I fear you'll steal my heart again
Oh no

//no time for reckless truths and
//We'll find the only proof is
//behind the curtains moved and
//this time I'll fight for you but

//Next time you'll bite the bullet
//rewind there's still time to move and
//Realize there's nothing to this

//Just say it
//Please say it

I love you.

one day you wont be a kleptomaniac and im praying for it to come

prod. by: thms. + @savesomeone
guitar by: thms.
drums by: @savesomeone 
written by: thms.
remastered: 06/26/24
--------------------------------
Your findings will cave you in
Don't put your trust in it

It's blinding
You hear the crack 
and all you see are lights instead

Stop trying 
To read my mind
And instead just read my lips

We used to fiend for nights like this
Now we don't know where we stand

Go on tell me
Just what you want
It's not exact but
I'm an open front

And you'll read me
Like an open book
You'll know it back to front
To get what you want

Look in my iris
To see right through my image
if you don't ask once
You'll always swing and miss

And I won't be the one
Who sits and plays the victim
This is all you
And im not the one who's missing

I won't go
Wherever your assumptions take me

Always the same thing lately

Yeah you've hit 100 right!!!

Out the ballpark
Guessing got you in trouble yeah

And it's my fault
Confused feelings with exhaustion

you've hit my line
For the hundredth time

Won't you please just go?

Don't you guess 
What to expect from me
Yeah you need to stop it

Don't you guess 
What to expect from me
Yeah you need to stop it

Who are you to speak

Assumptions get you in trouble!
Goddamn I'm so exhausted!

Yeah I'm standing here 
on my own two feet!

The juggling of all of this
The ends right there
Take all of it 

Just ask me the questions
Quit trying to reach for me

Cause theres nothing  
but space when I
Reach out here without you

In for another night of us
Waiting endlessly

Yeah I can't
I just can't 

there's nothing left for me to find
other than being ostracized
stranded on this mountain
i'll climb it again 

You won't give me things that I
Know bring me peace of mind
You lack the ignition
Give me the keys

Just ask me the questions
You'll learn the difference
Can we stop all this guessing
Cause you're killing me

Now we're in the ballpark
Laying in daises
And you thought you knew the answers.
Yeah you thought you knew the answers!

ballpark

written + prod. by: thms.
created in 24 hours in Nashville, TN w/ 3i
-------------------------------------------
And you say
its one thing
so i'll say another

And you don’t 
even blink
So I know its trouble

You're missing it
And i'll give in
and i'll say

don’t
you
dare
do
this
again

I can't bend 
Nothing left to send

You can't replace a thing
That's not real
It's not fair

Oh but I swear
Yeah I swear

Mars will smile again    

So please tell me
all the new things
going on in life

i can only
see you on these
dark and lonely nights

doesn't matter if im there
or if im 2000 miles away 
cause you're not here to stay

so break me down I
I can only see my
shadows when im inside
trapped in all my confides

i put them into you
you spit them back 
now im confused

cause if i do the same to you
atlas's earth cracks in two

And you say
its one thing
so i'll say another

And you don’t 
even blink
So I know its trouble

You're missing it
And i'll give in
and i'll say

don’t
you
dare
do
this
again

I can't bend 
Nothing left to send

You can't replace a thing
That's not real
It's not fair

Oh but I swear
Yeah I swear

Mars will smile again    

//and im hoping
//that there's a reason
//for all those things yeah
//is there a reason

//cause im hoping 
//through all these leaves that
//you'll be there in gray

//yeah im hoping so
//don’t you dare
//don’t you dare break me again

So don’t lose focus
How do I show this?
Might as well've folded
Cause i've shown my hand

Yeah and i'm hoping
All those things you told me
Are as real as the oceans 
when I look in you

So don’t lose focus
How do I show this?
Might as well've folded
Cause i've shown my hand

Yeah and i'm hoping
All those things you told me
Are as real as the ocean

And you say
its one thing
so i'll say another

And you don’t 
even blink
So I know its trouble

You're missing it
And i'll give in
and i'll say

don’t
you
dare
do
this
again

I can't bend 
Nothing left to send

You can't replace a thing
That's not real
It's not fair

Oh but I swear
Yeah I swear

Mars will smile again 

dont you dare

prod. + written by: thms.
--------------------------
You say just talk to me
But then you talk through me (like im not there)
I can't talk with these (these empty thoughts)
But if I'm honest girl im better off (im better off)

the concept honestly
wont find the time for honesty
i concede that I'm dishonest in
all the ways you were wrong with me

but i'll be
all those things I said that I'd be
and you'll see
I'm not liar about every little thing that I speak
(i'm not a liar but everything you say makes me scream)

though of course I'd make this my fault
i walk the line just like a tightrope
tie that shit around my neck 
a necklace I sew
point is theres some things on this earth 
i'd die for


let me give you closure
Cause I've already told you
I can't take all of this
on my plate
When I fall into the mist
Is when I am safe

and I can't hold you
not when I keep thinking about
all of my fates
The emptiness I feel is due to my mistakes
And im bound by them to keep my mind at bay

And I can't believe this is when you find me
Underneath my broken sins
And I got everything in this
Don’t know where to begin, I've got to again

So, tell me what to believe in
Make up something for me
Oh won't you please

give me closure

prod. + written by: thms.
----------------------------
I've been living in this fear of a dark place
There's nothing else to hear when im about pace
I'll take orders at about face
and turn it into gold
There's just something about our place and how it's set in stone

So here I am 
Where are you?

I'm refilling up our hourglass
Our time is ticking too
All the memory's getting hazy
Feel your line is slipping through
Is this really all there is
I thought I was better too

I thought I was better too
Picking up the pieces left forgotten in the room
Can't reach all the pieces left inside 
they're made for two
me and you

I thought I was better too

I've been living in dream of a hellscape
It's like you're in the walls collapsing all around me 
I'll be sure to drop by my place
There's something you should know

There's a reason for this insolence
And I can't let it go

So here I am
Where are you?

I keep showing all my soul
And you keep tearing me in two
Is your memory getting lazy
did you forget forever's rule?
Is this really all there is out there
I thought I was better too

And im hurting
can't find purpose
feels so worthless
so empty in your hands

i'm still searching
is it worth it?
im so uncertain 

So hear me out
Cause I'm full of doubt
Relapse through word of mouth
there's still things to figure out

I'm tired of wishing you here
shouldn't have to beg to be clear

and i get still visions of flybys
and you wasting my time
I can't find your lost eyes
So stop staring at mine I

I'm so sick of this
Of all the empty bliss

And after all your miles away
I can't bear the thoughts of everything you'd say
I begged you to stay
Now I'm left to breathe in 
the empty remains 

I've been living in dream of a hellscape
It's like you're in the walls collapsing all around me 
I'll be sure to drop by my place
There's something you should know

There's a reason for this insolence
And I can't let it go

So here I am
Where are you?

I keep showing all my soul
And you keep tearing me in two
Is your memory getting lazy
did you forget forever's rule?
Is this really all there is out there
I thought I was better too

gravel

written + prod. by: thms.
--------------------------
Flashbacks
Couldn't test and live-fire our limits
I can't fly higher with these wings
Can't reach new heights 
when you need me so

I know
There's time lapse
and there's a fire beneath me
What can you say when you're charred deep
Down to your bones
I feel indigo

Find me in my own clash
Knee deep in the end of our last
And I revel in all of the fact that
I've stopped bleeding out all on the mattress

The empty one you left me on
and I know that I'm not that strong but 
these are feelings that just don't fade
and i've become what I swore to hate so

When will you stop chasing me 
We both know this isn't what you need
and I know im not what you seek
and to me that means everything

and i get it your love knows different
trust me my god knows I miss it
but i'm the bringer of all my pain  
and this is the end of eras baby 

so is the crown heavy
was the pain you caused worth it
and necessary

yeah i'm tearing
there's a rift you've sown 
and I'm oh so grown to parry

i swear eve
I can't go back to the life we had it's scary
I know that crowns oh so heavy    

Promiscuous interest
Laced with all that I need to begin this again
I'll leave to bear witness
As I'm bathed in the scent and the light of your hair

And the seams feel so rigid
That's what happens when you lie
And the tape is right there

I don't mean to be different
But I can't help it when 

You send me left then go right
Then im here till the end of the night
then you ask if im doing just fine
what'd you expect from a soul with no rise

under butterflies dancing alone
i've got all of my sin to atone
yeah i swear eve i'll do what im told
i've got nothing to lose anymore

so stop
and listen
i've got all that we need to get with it
so don't get confused with the mission
(are you listening?)

There's not
An admission
For the need and all the attention
I don't need to walk in directions

that are splitting
can you hear me?

cause i'm tired of all this
All of this headache
and all of this hardship

i've tried to move on 
and i've failed with no solace
these are the things
that occur in the darkness

so who do you think that you are
you think you're a bright shining star?
you won't get that far

Good thing that I already know
I've got nothing to lose anymore

and to me that means everything

and to me that means everything

so is the crown heavy
was the pain you caused worth it
and necessary

yeah i'm tearing
there's a rift you've sown 
and I'm oh so grown to parry

i swear eve
I can't go back to the life we had it's scary
I know that crowns oh so heavy

is the crown heavy

"thomas."
------------------------------------

thms.

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks