Placeholder thumbnail by Mint

Written, mixed and produced by Mint

SuperDuper24 as ZALGO
Mintas SiivaGunner

ZALGO:
I was almost delighted being held up as discordant
Until this MIDI-slapper showed up as my next opponent
This statue has to be joking, you need a makeover
No broken up story could match the cinders from this takeover!
And this matchup is shit I'm a bit peeved | But I find ironic twists in this scene
Out of the eldritch horrors that I could’ve rapped against they went and picked memes
But I guess that seeing this it can be said. | Almost fitting that a demon god with seven heads
is pit against a scheming goner weakling donned with one mask sheathing everything he says

Siiva:
I thought you'd be monstrous, G
But it seems you got that flow filled with apostrophes
This goner would think that Gunner doesn't have the rounds to fire off but he's
About to take an L (high quality)
So I figured you'd quit jumbling and spit something, a diss, no
'Cuz your meme's just archaic to predate the Flintstones!
Back in 2016 you were relevant, then the net went and moved on to better shit
Out of all of the jokes to be made, this matchup is most fit to bomb as a reference!
So this dude's a timeless deity leaving these scenes in his web
Weaving up in and out of being dead, but this memeable wreck
Can't be seeing a scheme of his without some NEET on the web
Submitting him as an SCP without reading the text
So I'm gonna be leaving him dead. This bore'd better run
'Fore an error 404's gone and tore through your guns
Cause out of your seven heads you use no more than the one
This prick finds a Garfield comic, adds some gore then he comes

Zalgo:
A ROM hack would be better for this dweeb’s verse
Firing bombs back like rip submissions - next time, rehearse
(AH) YOU SAW GRIFTERS UP ON SOUNDCLOUD AND YOU FOLLOWED THAT
(AH) I’VE GOT SEVEN FUCKING MOUTHS AND I CAN’T SWALLOW THAT
(AH) I’M THE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD, MAKE YOUR SHALLOW FANS
NEVER WANNA SEE YOUR SHITPOSTS BACK UP ON THEIR HOLOGRAMS
So next time you try to drop a fucking hit, mate
Maybe don’t develop your whole lore around some kid’s games

ZALGO vs SiivaGunner. R∆P BATTLE! S0E2

Re-Destro : Alex M
Dr.Doofenshmirtz : MetaMachine

Written by Kamren
Beat Prod : AnywayWell
Mixed by Danii
Thumbnail by CreeperPasta
Art by Cyan and Luke Reardon!

Re-Destro :
What is this? I hadn't mind a pharmacist to liberate
Not that I even could merely looking at the stage today
Tragic backstory, pointless Inator
Cursed by a mammal, says "see ya later"
Repeat the pattern for a whole summer 
Then crash Milo for a season of comfort 
I thought I had it rough, but I've got to stress
That if its not enough, you're beat by a pet
My goals are for my father, I'll carry both alone
Your parents only showed when you're a garden gnome 

Dr.Doofenshmirtz :
Per-Re the Destro, that verse was unexpected 
And of course by that I mean COMPLETELY EXPECTED!
With an ego that inflated, I'd mistake you for Balloony
Now watch as this beat drops and Shigaraki's not controlling me!
My Inators are always blowing up but man, your Self Destruction’s prone
Really thought you were catching hands till your legs gave out and you let go
Of the position you once held, now that's Evil Incorporated
But I wouldn’t use this puppet’s nickel when your whole look is copy pasted!
Wait.. have we done this before? Its all confusing
Its hard to remember when your personalities' 2D
Quite the Norm for villains like you, you'd fit in L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N
So make like our noses, get to the point and don't  push my buttons 

Re-Destro :
I’d say you got a glow up but I’m the beacon for it
Couldn’t make time for Vanessa yet its what you’re controllin?
Trapped in your own cycle of embarrassments and the worst part?
Isabella’s better at Adulting, she’s younger than you are!
You’re a Professor that couldn’t Impress me
I'd cry but a tear isn't worth shedding
For the Hunchback of The Tri-State
When your brother's the reason behind your hate!
So take this L and why don't you project this to Monogram?
After I'm done, he'll want to call this Night of the Living Dead Man

Dr.Doofenshmirtz :
Even though I'm Heinz, I couldn't catch up to where your story ends
But here's something I've never done : Got caught by the feds 
Tried to rebel against all for Curiosity's sake
But the only headline you'll be making will be dropping her grave!
Now behold, The Battle of The Month-Inator!
Do as I say and score my raps as your favored!

Perry The Platypus : 
*casual chattering noises*

Dr.Doofenshmirtz : 
Wait, Perry The Platypu-

(Perry destroys the Battle of The Month-Inator)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz :
No!! Curse you Perry the Platypus!... and random anime character that looks like me but mostly Perry the Platypus!

ReDestro vs Dr.Doofenshmirtz - My Hero Academia vs Anything! #9 (ft. Alex M and MetaMachine)

Trump:
Yo it's Donald Trump coming out my Trump Towers
Bout to show this bitch a sampler of my Trump Power
I don't need my "Politics Beam" to tell you're gonna lose g
Biden may be woke, but your ass is fruity!
This third grade nerd's earned a diss track, punk
Your burns are so bad I turned into pickle trump!
Your series is so bad (believe me) everyone can tell
Shadow wizard money gang! We love casting spells!

Dilly:
Damn, trump, those fucking lines were just the worst 
I'm glad you went before me, after all it's ladies first 
You got mike pence, a condom, and pencil in your purse 
Call me covid 2.0. This bitch ass gon need a nurse 
(Ay ay) lay off the spray tan you lookin like a cheez it 
(Ay ay) heard you wrote a book, i prolly will not read it 
You call me fruity, bitch your verse was a fruit’s ballad 
I'm shitting on this track like you did to mail in ballots 

Trump:
That verse was sick... like COVID. It's not true!
You think you'll win? So wrong. Not you!
No truth was spilled. I will not fall!
When I take your crew and I KILL THEM ALL!!!
Okay so this next line was gonna be about 9/11 but I figured it might alienate my voter base and be a bit insensitive
Mostly alienate my voter base
I don't Obama-care about the rhymes you spat
Anyways, wanna go play Minecraft?

Dilly:
No i will not play minecraft with a fuckin racist g 
I prefer running up bridge when dan is there to carry me 
You make walls cause youre a short lil bitch with small fingers 
I make walls when logged on fortnite, im a raw builder 
I'm not feeling hearing or fearing you im a point taker 
You sound like a mix of casey and a fuckin voice changer 
I'm the creepypasta of the most and now this cunts bloody 
Here's ten dollars for your loss and don't use it as hush money

Dilly vs Donald Trump. FRB In True

Cheshire Cat (Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland) VS Schrodinger’s Cat (Misc)

mow

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: libra

Rap Battles of Whatever!
Cheshire Cat VS Schrodinger’s Cat!
Begin!

Cheshire Cat (0:14)

I am the Cheshire Cat, welcome to my Wonderland,
You want to battle rap? You must be hatter mad,
'Cause that plan is total cap no matter how you catch these hands.
Chess to your boxing match, tell me what comes after that?

Ah right. Your entire life fades. I think your mind ain’t the right place
Debating ‘bout a quantum space. Complacently my playground is the mental state!
Shove your stupid theories back in your box, you only prove your worth with words and talk!
Here’s an observation I made when I looked at you, your win is totally gone!

Schrodinger's Cat (0:40)

Cheshire, you best not mess with an experimental tester
Whether or not you enter my box, you will find you are lesser
Hypothesis of my pseudo-science, you shouldn’t be smiling when you eye my findings
Terrorising a tiny child like your writer then hiding in the lines like you’re pedo-filing, uh!

While my question's quite complex, you’ve literally lost your head. In my thoughts, I’ll 
Opt to forget this bothersome pet but I know it’s not possible yet, it’s a toss up 
Whether or not the probable end of following disses bodying disembodied
Heads get a fraudulent death, this has brought me ahead! Now, your defence?

Cheshire Cat (1:07)

What? What?
It seems like the real mystery’s whatever the fuck you discuss, ‘cause it must be
Like one big crusty bunch of duds who get stumped by an Amazon package.
Your argument’s like a rabbit, they follow it and your world collapses.

Schrodinger’s Cat (1:21)

You’re not smart enough to understand, you only ponder when it’s part of your Wonderland,
I couldn’t tell if you were intelligent when I looked at ya, y’know, like you’re Looking Glass?
‘Cause when you’re fighting the feline who’s neither alive or reaped, at the sight of me
You’ll fold when I deck ya with speed like the Queen of Hearts, that’s Binocular Rivalry.

Cheshire Cat (1:35)

My words chain like a catenary, cat’s are nary prone to form brawls with adversaries,
But for you? (Yes, you) The situation’s scary. (Yeah!) This foe spits rather hairy! (Uh!)
On the contrary, when you’re comparing us? I choose when I’m not lingering,
You’re a little Sphynx giving a silly riddle. (Who?) Schro’s more Schro-bingus! 

Either way, you’ll still be Flopping! They put your ass up for adoption! 
Frankly, your mechanic’s more quan-dumb, went from paradox to oxy-moron!
When you start talking, it’ll cause the alarm to detect my diss so toxic,
You’re gonna fail and pass away ‘cause like your later portrayals, you did na-zi your loss, bitch!

Schrodinger’s Cat (2:01)

It’s true that I’m locked in, caught in a awful coffin, 
But when I drop bombs in my box, the volume’s up. Call that shit sub-atomic.
‘Cause the chance you beating me ain’t fifty-fifty, the time’s dry.
When it comes down to people I talk to, this kid’s more Liddel Einstein!

I’m the classiest cat in this rap, you’re a sad has-been with a knack for distracting
Madness, you only ever spit Radioactive like my flask does when I Imagine Draggin’
Your flat ass back to the pasture - your past home - pass by your passport, now in the Lowlands,
I’ve seen Manyworlds, but the skill between us is plain to observe - like a Cheshire Gap.

Cheshire Cat VS Schrodinger's Cat - Rap Battles of Whatever

Vladimyr P. as This Man
LastSmileLost as The Girl in The Photograph

WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
THIS.. MAN..
AGAINST
THE GIRL IN THE PHOTOGRAPH…

This Man:
What’s a pretty lame little lady like you doing in my dreamscape?
In reality, I would swipe right if I wanted an edate!
But I'm raw doggin’ the beat. Like being tied up? I’ll have ya hung!
It’s No wonder No-one ever saw This Woman after you ask if you can JPEG ‘em!
Turn that smile upside down you freak- cuz mine will spread the word
That you’re not what the world revolves around, to me, that’s quite absurd!
Are you Bi-Polaroid? Or did my burns make you too hot to notice
That your win is out of reach so, girl, that must be out-of-focus!
Wow, I wonder how you got the readers raising eyebrows
Since no one knows you, I’ll black and whitewash your fame out
This Photo-ho will be grayed out then fade out 
with no climax for this graph, so many grave doubts that you can’t count!

The Girl:
  *nails scratch*
Unlike me that verse ain’t beautiful

  *nails scratch*
Your hairline recedes as usual

  *nails scratch
I’m absolutely irresistible

  *nails scratch*
  But I’ll make the life you live so miserable!
cuz your romance is hopeless! Couldn’t keep a Guerilla grip on it!
But bud, it’s really bad Marketing for a simp bitch to be lacking an upper lip!
Just put on a fedora since like your hair, you’re at a loss!
Because those lines were Capricorn-y so you need to use some dental floss!
it seems that you’re a fiend for tryna raise your self esteem
Oh how unfortunate that no one’s seeing you up in their wet dreams
It doesn’t take a post from Reddit to know that you ain’t shit
And to dominate this woman you’d need a glitch in the matrix!

This Man:
Wasted screen time with a shitty verse so I’ll set an example;
You’re never too hot to handle but I’ll leave your eggs scrambled
It’s no wonder you're mid; tried to be a snow bunny’s sunny side
Thinking that you’re Victorious? She-devil must be dummy.. fried!
You’re left with teary eyes- since you can’t do what eerie did
Angel will now see the lime-light cuz she’s on her photoperiod!
I’m known across the ‘net although I’m left a lonely man..
The only time you’re relevant is when you’re in the hands of OnlyFans!

The Girl:
The OnlyFans This Man’s got were the poster boys’ I put in the morgue
bro, this horror whore is horrible but I’m still bloody and gorge

This Man:
Your kill count is lower than your standards for sound
So you have lost like your virginity when it was never found!

The Girl:
I manifested you’d lose cuz I brain-washed an Average Joe
Ironic that you’re not ahead; but I’ll still hack, sever, and scrap a foe
to throw away this trash that has arose so I suppose that shows
Your wet bed flows exposed you bro 
so I now know of your fetish Pho-toes!

This Man:
I’ll make ya trip, although, that might be in your interest
You’re whippin’ bars watered down like you found them off of Pinterest!
Pulled the diss-cord insta-ntly I Chat to Snap in rap, you’re cringe
So say Sorry to this man and go find a match you’ll win on Hinge

The Girl:
Lowkey, that verse was cursed but it didn’t hurt so I’ll murk you
but two can’t be seen in dreams if you’re up way past your curfew
I am not DTF, but god, it’s my ill luck that I’ve met this cuck
I’ll add to my body count when you’re star-struck by a truck!

*The Girl Holds up Three Fingers in photo*

Written by: Vlad
Additional Writing Help by: CyanVtuber & RNG
Beat Produced by: 2Deep
Mixer / Effects: Vlad
Cover Art Made by Vlad

Ever Dream This Man? vs The Girl in The Photograph. Sinister Rap Battles

Donkey Kong vs. Gru - Mario vs. Anything


M!cah As DK


MGRB As Gru


Beat edit by Special Inquisitor Rayyan


Art by Evry & EpicMonkey


Cover art Box_Soldier22 


Written by King Ducky & King Wallace


Beat prod. Diamond Style


Donkey Kong:

So this is the chicken fried by El Macho and his full gut?

Who’s bald ass gets outshined by a guy with a bowl cut 

Think you're tough? In one shot ya got caught by your wife's pursuit

You could only drop me if that nose popped all my life balloons! 


Kong got your tongue? Im gunning for the knockout 

But not in dracs castle catch me at your mom's house

Despite your rocket science she was always not proud

Had ya think outside the box but still you're boxed out!


My eardrums are locked on offense, honestly sounds like you’ve lost it

I'd haul ya to back to The Office but it seems you got knocked off it

This novice father should drop it cuz he’s toxic to his daughters, they’re

Probably safer off being tossed back in foster care!


Gru:

First your destiny was capturing damsels in distress it seems

Yet soon enough you were the one being caught by kremling enemies

Desperately ported to switch yet DK still decays

So forget Tropical Freeze, I’m cocking this freeze ray! 


Jump man chose to trap you after your kidnapping plan arosed

Whips were cracked so many times you began to look like your shack home!

I would not be as jolted if your next roasts were merely bad jokes

Clapbacks aren't your forte, as Smash Bros and DKs rap show!


Donkey Kong:

I ride a track both ways when I’m rhyming in a minecart

Your only crime against society's your horribly designed car

That off the walls monster dog looks like K rool an awful lot 

I'll squash 'em along with your entourage of washed up blobs! (Ugh!)


Been drooling over Dru’s shit and losing to that dynamic Bratt kid

Hanging half naked off a cruise ship: truest banana hammock

Partner packed his suitcase reacting to losing planning madness

Can't stand on your own with that gru-elling Nosferatu stature!


Gru:

Stop all the talking and squabbling you sound like an angry Squawks

I’ll stomp your boombox thing and pawn the parts to Cranky’s shop

Sure you've seen some Gameboy games, but we didnt care

Now your releases are infrequent even when ditched by Rare!


Jump man trumped him, some ladders collapsed his dumb plan!

Come get your nephews to rescue yourself a-gain!

Overshadowed by everyone, there's no way to beat me

Can’t hop on a track, so as fodder used endangered species


Only jokes you doomed are floating goofs and a fat walrus too

I stole THE MOON, and now like K. rool I'll be taking gold from you

Can’t Barrel Blast away into the background, forget it

Now I’ve ended you like your ugly show, roll kredits!

Donkey Kong vs. Gru - Mario vs. Anything!

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ-lWPY9D18

Scott:
Hey all Scott here! And before you try to ban me
See I'm contractually obligated to one more battle with Bandy
But something I have trouble understanding is his experience with rapping
Cause he's done youtube long before me…what the f*ck happened
Your buddy lives with boulders, and you? Under a rock…
I didn’t take you as the type to be entertaining, oh you’re not
I mean you were an OG creator something like we hadn't seen before
But all of your old vids seemed to age as well as the Nintendo 64

Nathaniel:
Did Nintendo not realize that battle mode should be balanced
But I’ve already conquered Mario, so Kamek shouldn’t be a challenge
Cause you were Borderline copying my content, cutting out any flavor

Bathaniel:
But think you can rock? 

Nathaniel:
You’re just a blank piece of paper 
From your stupid looking hair to videos, you’ve always sucked at trimming!
Like I don’t want to sit down and watch this loser’s constant bitching
It’s not awesome baby seeing you fail to make your skits slicker
Cause you’d only leave my Mind Blown if I pulled the fricking Trigger!

Scott:
Welcome to the show, tell me, what does this guy not have?

Terry Lesler:
*gunshot* Beef? 

Jerry Attricks:
*gunshot* Therapist! 

Target Employee:
*gunshot* Job at Target? 

Rex Mohs:
*gunshot* A dad!

Jeb Jab:
*gunshot* Guys, let's be real, the answer’s so obviously Gex!

Scott:
Ooo so close! See, the answer is actually “a f**king job”
I mean sure we've collabed a few times but I hardly call us rivals
So yeah I enjoy your content… I also wrote the Bible
A guy with no personality, making top 10 lists and ranking vids
And you’re striving for originality?

Nathaniel:
Can’t talk originality when you’ve ripped Jon and The Nerd

Jerry Attricks:
Hey, you should check them out, they're pretty good from what I've heard

Nathaniel:
You wasted 2 hours of my time just to talk about your childhood junk?!
Not even in Maple Treeway was I jacking myself off this much
Thinking this Chicken could Shoot anything hurtful is abhorrent
Cause he’s as fragile as a Pop-Tart that I’d slam against my forehead
How will Nathaniel win? Pretty easily cuz you can’t handle me!
Brand new vid Top 10 times Scott lost to Nathaniel B

Credits:
Cri as Scott The Woz
Dan as Nathaniel Bandy

Cri as Jerry Attricks, Target Employee, and Terry Lesler
Dan as Bathaniel Nandy, Rex Mohs, and Jeb Jab

Written by Cri and Powerofdan
Demo’d by Cri
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat rearranged by Powerofdan
Special Thanks: Harry

Scott The Woz vs Nathaniel Bandy (Powerofdan Rap Battles)

Dani Frias as Happy Appy and the Good Doctor
JustGamer as Dr. Kawashima, Dr. Evil, Dr. Strange, Dr. Han
Written by JustGamer
Additional Help by Danii
Beat by Anywaywell, Syko, Epistra, Dansonn
Mixed by Danii
Cover art by Rabi

Dr. Kawashima:
Hello I’m Dr. Kawashima, neuroscientist
When my mind is sharp, and on time, there is no out-rhyming this
It’s undebated, I stay Brain Ageless
You were flavor of the month, but this apple’s tasteless
Your creator expanded on the story in hopes that it would stay
I couldn’t finish a micro game before you lost all your fame
With that, I hope to see you back tomorrow to play again
Cause with the two of us, I ate you up, that makes a perfect ten

Happy Appy:
Howdy children! Happy Appy’s back to spit some more!
Today’s opponent looks like MODOK on N64!
And I’m not talking planes when I say that I’m the flyest
When all you helped with was to justify the existence of a stylus!
A game based on a book? How’d you ever get attention?
Even I’m not as insistent with teaching kids lessons
You’re slowly being replaced with other brain teaser games
But an apple a day will keep this doctor away!

Dr. Evil:
It’s time for Dr. Evil to become be the best rapper
I’m eating this track up like I was Fat Bastard
I have rap laser lines, best of luck bozo
And if you win I’ll go back in time and steal your mojo
Spitting image of evil spitting in this dope ass outfit
A stick up your butt is what you walk around in?
And the way you scare children, you must be clownin’
Why go for nine eleven when you can have a thousand?!

Happy Appy:
Ooo seems this spitter’s come up short like a Mini Me
Ooo no villain from your squad could help you kill the beat
It’s in your name but you’ll be surprised to find you’re
Third place in the ranks of Evil Mike Myers
Tearin' this parody 'cause he can't outflow
Should be aware as a funny spoof film? How 'bout no?
And with two decades later, your movies’ fame fully fades
But an apple a day will keep this doctor away!

Dr. Strange:
Stephen Strange enters the battle, I’ve come to bargain
Got the Eye of Aga-dope flow to make my bars hit!
Even Wong wouldn’t…….oh no……

Dr. Han:
Dr. Murphy please let’s continue this conversation at a later point if we can
There’s some sort of cross mix between Annoying Orange and an apple, let’s get him on a medication plan
There he goes, he’s a good doctor though he can be a strongly erratic man
But at least he’s great at saving the kids that you tried to kill inside of your van

Seriously, targeting children? That shit’s truly sick
Are Roblox threads how you find those kids? 
I work at a hospital, I’ve seen plenty of gore
But that horror makes me wanna shake you at the core
Better keep my mask on when I’m spitting with flow
Make a bigger splash than you with only four episodes
Syringes don’t scare me, nor will they hurt me
Leave this apple roasted when I’m fired up like Murphy

Happy Appy:
Wanna talk about firings, well how about yours?
Don’t let that bad writing hit you on your way out the door
And your show knows it’s pretty easy to make you the villain
But you’ll end up LIKE MIRANDA, WHEN I GET TO KILLING
I ENTER THE HOSPITAL LIKE A PLAGUE UPON THE LAND
WITH BLOOD THAT ISN’T MINE SPLATTERED ALL ACROSS MY HANDS
DR. HAN DIES NASTY, WHEN I BRANDISH A BLADE
CAUSE AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THIS DOCTOR AWA-

Dr. Han:
That’s enough out of you, you think those scary words and that creepypasta could make me give a fuck?  
Well you might as well call me Nick Jr Appy, cause I’m about to go ahead and pull the plug
No need for Forenziks, I’m able to find that it was boredom that killed all of your thrills
You want something that will really terrify people? Wait until I send you the bill

Dr Kawashima vs Happy Appy - Smash Bros vs Anything

Mr. Tibbs as Todd Howard 
JustGamer as Hideo Kojima
Written by JustGamer
Chiseling by RNG
Beat by Anywaywell
Arranged by SIR Rap Battles
Mixed by Zagranis
Cover art by Commander Jacob

Todd Howard:
Here at Bethesda, we like to work as one unit 
Guess Konami didn’t feel the same and ditched this dumb nuisance
Be prepared, cause when Todd Howard steps up to spit
The Metal Gear franchise won’t be the only thing he loses
In terms of style over substance, your name’s the first listed
Only thing you’re good at is keeping Norman Reedus in business
And those character names really make you seem witless
Captain Obvious out here assuming his players are dipshits
Your life reflects your games with how you’re spending so much time alone
At least the quests I craft don’t leave gamers on their own
Dropping nukes on the track, my rhymes can kill
The master of stealth games should disappear like Silent Hills

Hideo Kojima:
Wow, you were able to speak
I thought all I’d hear was fans clapping over your speech 
And then they’d hail you online as video game Jesus
With reasoning more vague than those Starfield teases 
I’m creating cinematic experiences for my players
You‘re creating cinematics to only play in your trailers
But dedicated fanbases, you must be the expert
I’m excited to wait years for a snippet of your next verse

Todd Howard:
Yes we like to build hype, but then our sales kill right? 
My NPCs are more engaging than any script that you’ll write
And you’re one to talk about egos, yours is high as hell
To cameo in games as God or just playing as yourself
Todd Howard’s the greatest, you might be the lamest
Even 76 could top your whole greatest game list
Face it, you’re basic, got nothing left to give your players more 
Only person praising you is Keighley at the Game Awards

Hideo Kojima:
I’m the true Dragonborn, when I spit, the mic is hot
You’ve been out cold ever since you got bought by Microsoft
Now you have no sense of direction on where to go next
While I even top you when it comes to Smash Bros reps
But I’m not taking shit when you made Fallout worse
No NPCs, a battle royale and you said “it just works”
Only thing those deserted wastelands are gaining is dust 
And they’re so filthy, it’s no wonder your games are full of bugs
Both fans and critics are asking you to make things better
Then you squeeze them dry for cash by any measure  
Got past Konami, to me, you’re another beatable foe 
That will only be known for random memeable quotes

Hideo Kojima vs Todd Howard - Bad Idea Rap Battles

happy birthday dilly :)

Dilly as The Golden Child
Fightmarker as Bowser Jr.

Written by Dilly, Powerofdan, and Cri
Mixed by Serena
Beat Produced by 2DEEP
Cover Art by TomPuffs
Special shoutouts to Dilly and Cri

The Golden Child:
You better pray to RNG-esus that I don’t release
Or you’ll be leavin’ with a hurt ego and broken streak
Best hope the sword you get is stacked enough for slowin’ me
Cause if it don’t, I'm running up to slay you while you cope and seethe
I’m tough to beat, but eh, your life is tougher ain’t it?
You got like 80 siblings and mom’s a vacant parent
And no one really cares about you, smash is all your run time
It might be 15 years before your next game sees the sunshine
Sparks fly when I start rhymes, I'm a harsh find if you see me
You might darn try to get my armor or might pussy and tp
And yet either way, you gon spite the day that I spawned and I caught ya
Fuck a paint brush, that shit ain’t much when your dead body gets chalked up

Bowser Jr:
Why don't you break another box if you want to start a PVP
Might as well be two blocks up, cause you aint reaching me
You think you can beat me by respawning on repeat?
Looks like you went 6 feet deep by choking on some green beans. Oh please!
You think I’m frightened by the sighting of your creepy stare?
I might just dig a little hole and even leave you there!
So freak beware, I fricking tear through any creep on my turf
I already knocked Koopa Kid off the face of the earth
A void charms’ your best bet, but wanna throw hands then go ahead
My clown car ‘gainst the undead? A no brainer despite that big ass head
I’d turn back to Shadow mode, though that would be a waste
No amount of paintbrush strokes could make a more stupid face!

The Golden Child:
If you're thinking shadow clones are competition, bitch you'll fall hard
I make my opposition vanish quick like 3D All-Stars
So keep that bib on, bud, it’s gonna be a mess when this unfolds
Should've wished yo fatty daddy left on parental controls!

Bowser Jr:
Bruh you’re talking dads, at least I’m not a fucking orphan, kid
My brush cannot paint a clear picture of your origin
Eh, what’d I expect from you when your birth is questionable…
But by the end, it’s obvious who’ll be repping the gold

(so uh context, the golden child is a mob that spawns in minecraft hypixel lucky block skywars, and he is just a baby zombie decked out in golden armor. that is all there is to him LMAO)

Bowser Jr. vs The Golden Child (Powerofdan Rap Battles)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of flying, sleep-centered video game villains; The Phantom, Minecraft’s monster of the night sky, versus Nightmare Buzz, the bad dream boss of the Toy Story video game for SNES and Genesis. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Phantom
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Nightmare Buzz

-LYRICS-

Phantom (0:15):
Bad dream? Nah, it’s just this dude’s carelessness
Tag Team tonight’s victim; Swoop! There it is! 
Take away those dollar store Dragon Balls, whatcha Saiyan now?
Don't bother tryna keep your head up, your chin'll weigh it down 
Narcoleptic? Off the checklist. Nah, this creep’s devoured
Coated red like older textures. Wanna piece of our
Mem-brains? Ya get ten scrapes to your chestplate! Say goodnight, dude!
Your defense play’s a pretend laser? I’ll Explain, sir; it’s only going down like you
Homie, we know you ain’t zapping shit 
And if you don’t feel like vanishing
Get under the covers when Phantoms hit
Make a bed you'll forever be napping in 
Making you return to your dreamscape (yuh)
With an even-more-green face (yuh)
Make sure that you’ll sleep great (where’s that?)
Deeper than deepslate
We put the fear in atmosphere for this toy
Watching this space junk drop like a meteoroid! 
Unbreakable. Make a bed rock while we’re up in the clouds
Leaving a Buzz cut; we're number 1 all around

Nightmare Buzz (1:03):
I’m glad you’re done, I’ve never heard such bad flow
In any battle, guess your turn’s just mad slow 
Either way, you’ll be shot down. I sleep on you, you’re knocked out 
I know it’s time to kill you; guess you don’t needa… watch out! 
This sentient Elytra’s dumb. I don’t need to light ‘em up
These Dodgers of a Bright Sky combust without the slightest touch 
But I Imagine that having you in real life’s a must
Gamers playing, staying up this many days and nights is nuts 
I conclude this Phantom Menace is worse, by far 
Even in death, what I drop’s higher than 5 stars 
You’ll hit the ground like Woody’s game over. Brew some ‘brane potions
Throw them, and savor your pain going way slower  
Go ghost like Danny! Green eyeballs? I’ll pop ‘em
Hearing you Phantoms screech is… not an Opera 
On second thought, I take a liking to those high blares
Akin to the screaming kids whose dreams I turn to nightmares

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Fightmarker
Beat produced by NickChou
Additional instruments by Renraku, Grant Michael, Diaspora, and Sample Magic

Feedback by King Mewtwo, GamingPlush64, RNG, TheBabyBeef, Swizkii, my therapist, Eddiefrb and the spaceship
Shoutout to Cri, Danii, and Eric the Audible

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

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