you wouldn't let it eat you whole

originally by @underscores @maxwell_young. underscores and maxwell young do not make any money from this recording. i would like to change that but honestly i dont know how mechanical licenses work and i dont care quite enough to distribute this myself

del mar county fair

✱ track 9

https://fanlink.to/everything-ftft

coprod @annaglyphs & @can-of-bliss

~~lyrics~~
everything you said, everything you did
brought the shit back up from when we were kids
brush it off i guess, said "it's not that bad.
can't we be best friends? cmon, don't be sad
for yourself or mad at yourself
don't think too hard cause it's bad for your health"
but you said "it's different now"
cause you got a new crowd
and they're all too young to be calling shit out

i don't wanna freak out again
i live in the real world, i guess
i live in the real world, i guess

honestly i'm disappointed
but i'm not tryna shut you down
you didn't hear a thing that i said
not that it really matters now
we're all adults, i guess
i don't wanna hear you cry again
i don't wanna hear you cry again

oh our words hurt?
how does it feel on the other side?
don't you hear yourself talk?
don't you hear yourself lie?

but you said "it's different now"
cause you got a new crowd
and they're all too young to be calling shit out
yeah it's pretty different now
cause we made a new crowd
and we all found out you were bringing us down

no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door

you're fucked up if you think i wanna do this
i mean, i know we had to, but it feels like shit
i'm not the one you wanna hurt so bad
i'm not just "them", i'm not "some fag"
i had your back, didn't have to do that
when it comes down to it i don't owe you shit
brush it off i guess, said "it's not that bad
can't we be best friends, cmon, don't be sad"

no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door

no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door

honestly i'm disappointed
but i'm not tryna shut you down
you didn't hear a thing that i said
not that it really matters now

no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door

everything✱

nomore

9 of 10

cowritten by & featuring @cmten
mastered by Ryan Schwabe
art designed + edited by @daywaiter
original photo + concept by mars whitlock & me

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
Acting out of malice
Circle pain on the diagram
Keep it steady, cut precision from my shaky hands
I'm so caught up between what I want and who I am
You only reach out at your weakest

And I do it right back back back back back
And I do it right back back back back back
Let it circle in my head head head head head
Burn a hole into my bed bed bed bed bed
And I do it right back back back back back
And I do it right back back back back back
Let it circle in my head head head head head
Burn a hole into my bed bed bed bed bed

I think I found what you were looking for
I won't give it back until you learn to use the magic word
If you're fucking with me then I just gotta be sure
And if it's really honesty then stop faking concern
Water down the drain until I'm clean
I create the image of myself I let you see
The things that make you pretty never look as good on me
Me my eyes and eyelids are all different shades of green

And I do it right back back back back back
And I do it right back back back back back
Let it circle in my head head head head head
Burn a hole into my bed bed bed bed bed

And I do it right back
And I do it right back
Let it circle in my head (Let it circle in my, and it circles in my head)
Burn a hole into my bed (And it circles in my head head head head head yeah)

(cmten)
Downing the drink that you made for me
Carve a space in the walls so that I can see
I can barely breathe, I can barely breathe
When you’re not with me, when you’re not with me
Sometimes takes a little more to come apart
Waiting for you to come back in the dark now
Sometimes waiting all alone at the bus stop
I don’t really give a fuck about what you want now
Bout what you want now
Bout what you need now
Bout what we had, 2am and I’m homebound
Kissing your neck, I forget all the past
Til I stand up too fast and I do it right back

(sd)
And I do it right back back back back back
And I do it right back back back back back
Let it circle in my head head head head head
Burn a hole into my bed bed bed bed bed
And I do it right

star★☆

doitrightback w/ CMTEN

and once you're out of knives, i'd like you to spend some time with us

originally by @janeremover. jane does not make any money from this recording, but i would like to change that.
inspired heavily by @aikapeacey2k

its a vicious cycle

Avaliable on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5f8wXeQdrJBWStxqVC26KD?si=adcccc72fb194708

me on the guitar


[Verse 1]
You'll say it hurts for me to leave
i dont think thats true at all
the pain that you will feel is less
when u got friends to talk to
i retreat
i guess im beat
i retreat
guess im defeated

youll draw art for him and he'll like it
and i'll take the hint while im crying
i guess its a sin this shit im typing
though im feeling pissed i should 
keep these feelings to myself

[Bridge]
wasnt smart
for me to invest my health
into someone
i dont really want

[Chorus]
am i petty for wanting ur energy
i give it all to u but
this is not reciprocal
ik u care for me but its entropy when
ur not living up

am i petty for wanting ur energy
i give it all to u but
this is not reciprocal
ik u care for me but its entropy when
ur not living up

[Verse 2]
ull say it hurts for me to leave
i dont think thats true at all
the pain that you will feel is less
when u got friends to talk to
i retreat
i guess im beat
i retreat
guess im defeated

[Beat change]
You give me the
backhand of your love
you take me for granted
theres no trust
feeling all my senses
go to shit
now im lost, nothings there
I'm stuck with this

[Chorus]
am i petty for wanting ur energy
i give it all to u but
this is not reciprocal
ik u care for me but its entropy when
ur not living up

am i petty for wanting ur energy
i give it all to u but
this is not reciprocal
ik u care for me but its entropy when
ur not living up

[End]
ull say it hurts for me to leave
i dont think thats true at all
the pain that you will feel is less
when u got friends to talk to
i retreat
i guess im beat
i retreat
guess im defeated

twitter.com/dylazy1
instagram.com/dylazy

Petty

log 4;
I've been active online lately! I have been on discord and a couple of people were confused about my living space. I live under a small makeshift tent. I have a solar bank that I use to charge a laptop but I do not have wifi or any other utilities. I found an abandoned upright piano and set up my base around that. I post whenever I go into town, which is more or less whenever I get hungry or need to mail something. Lately, there have been more industrial projects venturing into the natural beauty of the woods so I've been sending more letters than usual. Also from discord, some of you seem to think I've been displaced. While I appreciate the concern, this is how I choose to live my life and I do not intend to move into a more modern way of living at any point. I love reading your questions though! Please feel free to contact me at woodlands#1302. It gets lonely out here!
Vox by Underscores and 8485

this could go two ways

art by @reksi420 : support ↓ ↓ <3
twitter.com/4n1m4l51
snipfeed.co/reksi
www.instagram.com/tr4n5c3nd3d/

[Verse 1]
and the pain right in my chest
while im waiting i cant rest
no
and i want u
here but ig nows the time 
to learn to be more patient huh?

[Chorus]
the feeling left on my heart
takes a second to absorb
give me more x2

[Bridge]
i want u so bad 
but i gotta wait till
time moves
and i shouldnt
rush the pace that 
we have
and i rly like u
please just kiss me all over 

[Verse 2]

Am I bad for my self
the thoughts that hurt my health 
I hold a bandage to my soul 

I cant just stop and stay
I need improvement 
to keep on moving
or I'll get led astray

do i runaway
or should i just leave u more
cus anymore and you're out of my life
gonna think while im away
is it needed being away
maybe I'll grow better in my own space

[Chorus]
the feeling left on my heart
takes a second to absorb
give me more x2

[Outro]
i want u so bad 
but i gotta wait till
time moves
and i shouldnt
rush the pace that 
we have
and I rly like u
please just kiss me all over
please kiss me all over
please kiss me all over
please kiss me all over x2

twitter.com/dylazy1
instagram.com/dylazy

seanie

inspired by mossgarden

I look at myself in the mirror
I don’t know what to say
All the choices I’ve made
Have led me to today
And I ask myself
Am I proud?
Am I proud?
Am I proud of myself?
Am I happy with the person that I am?
This next chapter of my life I’ll make new friends
Do they like me?
Is it a trap?

My shoes touch the grass
Look up at the sky and it looks back
My future and my present all depend
On if I ever act
Life ruled by uncertain measures
I tell myself I can’t control the weather
Bring a jacket if it rains (an umbrella if it asks for it)
Controlling my reaction
I know I think about it way too much
Got a feeling that my pondering is wasting fun
But I can’t help it (I can’t help it)
I can’t help it (help it)
I can’t help it

Am I proud?

am i proud?

Oh, you admit it
Theres nothing to be done
The world you were born into fucking hates you
Hr is useless
Your family thinks your a fraud
If your in so much pain, why dont you say so?

This is about as good as it will ever get
It wont stop it wont stop, they dont believe you
You pray to gods who dont know that you exist
It wont stop it wont stop, they need to see the truth

Last time i told you we would make it out alive
But i think it was a lie 
Theres no time to really talk about it
So id rather not try
God forbid you dont get whats implied

Whiny, whiny, and tired as a mouse
Staple your mouth shut so that they stay around 

What are you complaining about? your doing fine
You only feel like dying 6 out of seven nights
And yeah i get it, it sucks to be alive
Good fucking luck cause youll need it to survive

This is about as good as it will ever get
It wont stop it wont stop, they dont believe you
You pray to gods who dont know that you exist
It wont stop it wont stop, they need to see the truth

A single good talk doesnt save a useless prick like me

As Good As It Gets

man im dead

BUY IT ON BANDCAMP PLS https://kaydence.bandcamp.com/track/purgatory

LYRICS
my body’s limp across the bathroom floor
ive got a headache and my stomachs sore
my soul’s extracted from the blood and gore
i don’t wanna do this anymore

flat on the ground, i don’t feel a heartbeat
deaf to the sound, u say it’s easy but it’s hard to breathe
ghosts all around, i can feel the zephyr on me
it feels way too loud, it feels like there’s a weight on me 
they always say that life is what u make it
yet ive been living with my mind all vacant
guess that’s why my lifeless body seems faceless 
so just go and ditch me as i lay down on the pavement until im gone

my body’s limp across the bathroom floor
ive got a headache and my stomachs sore
my soul’s extracted from the blood and gore
i don’t wanna do this anymore

but u know that i lied to ur face
and i can’t let us go our separate ways
but u know that it’s something i can’t face
and i can’t leave this behind without a trace

my body’s limp across the bathroom floor
ive got a headache and my stomachs sore
my soul’s extracted from the blood and gore
i don’t wanna do this anymore

my body’s limp across the bathroom floor
ive got a headache and my stomachs sore
my soul’s extracted from the blood and gore
i don’t wanna do this anymore

my body’s limp across the bathroom floor
ive got a headache and my stomachs sore
my soul’s extracted from the blood and gore
i don’t wanna do this anymore

stream <3

purgatory

track 5/10
https://open.spotify.com/track/0HhUtxxRGtT69s5LPmGDqo?si=42530b0c48d64a72
https://youtu.be/gXJdu-fGXRo

sometimes i wish i was meaningful
cuz being empty is tiring even if a little and
its all good lacking motivation
till something comes and leaves u crying cuz

all the words that leave my mouth are broken endlessly
circling the past and present never giving peace
and every day is what u set out for it to be
dont leave me wanting more
just let me fucking sleep

i fell asleep through the noise
and
as i was drifting off i realized
maybe i was listening too loud
so i took one earbud out
but it didnt make a difference to the sound

dont forget me, i played my part
broken rotten, stupid art
and i know that you like to see me
plastered all over your tv
dont forget me, i played my part
broken rotten, stupid art
look what i made, is it pretty
would you put it on your tv

dont forget me, i played my part
eyes wide open, nails are scarred
broken rotten, stupid art
follow gently through the heart
and i know that you like to see me
as an artist drowned in meaning
plastered all over your tv
fake the message and the feeling
dont forget me, i played my part
eyes wide open, nails are scarred
broken rotten, stupid art
follow gently through the heart
look what i made, is it pretty
is it honest, can you see me
would you put it on your tv
do you think it has a meaning
dont forget me, i played my part
eyes wide open, nails are scarred
broken rotten, stupid art
broken rotten, stupid art
broken rotten, stupid art
broken rotten, stupid art
broken rotten, stupid art
broken rotten, stupid art
broken rotten, stupid art
broken rotten, stupid art

stupid art

(2019 - 2023)
50% of @w3ts4lt w/ @starflye
Co-Founder and A&R Representative of Yep Records
@marshall4 's mom

purgatory

Jennifer May (coffee break)

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