a thousand words
feel them crawling beneath my skin
if less is more
than you gave me just i 
wanted
if thats how i felt
then we wouldn't be here in the first place
but i guess im to blame for it still
cause this is new to me,
and new to you
there's nothing we can change for us
just close your eyes...
we'll be there soon <3

close your eyes

pretend

debug

is there more to this? (ft. reserv)

flash (ft. fenwick)

absolution of self

shapes and symbols

next winter

my sleepy eyes
my restless mind
my beating heart
my frozen arms
i don't know when 
or where to start
and i don't know
just what you want

talk talk talk about it
were running out of time
and i don't wanna waste a second on
what's going through my mind
talk talk talk about it
were running out of time
and i don't wanna waste a minute on
what's left

hold me close tonight
while we sit under the clouds and watch them
pass us by
another month like this and we'll be gone but
i'll be fine
when i think of you i'm right back in this moment
again

talk talk talk about it
were running out of time
and i don't wanna waste a second on
what's going through my mind
talk talk talk about it
were running out of time
and i don't wanna waste a minute on
what's left

hold me close tonight
while we sit under the clouds and watch them
pass us by
another month like this and we'll be gone but
i'll be fine
when i think of you i'm right back in this moment
again

moment

huge thanks to the wonderful @embermusician for being a part of this

happy holidays, everyone <3

lyrics:

there's this girl, she's got my heart tied in a whirl
she's like a gift under the tree tonight
i see her by the fireside
and i don't mind, the way she looks at me sometimes
i'm standing underneath the mistletoe
i hope that i can see the snow

it's far too cold
so we'll just spend the day inside
a cup of cocoa, we'll watch a movie
and that'll keep us warm tonight
its far too cold
and going out would waste your time

so we'll just...

there's this boy
he stole my heart and my devoid
of color life he lit it up, tonight
he wraps me up in christmas light
and i just smile, the way he looks at me sometimes
i want him here beneath the mistletoe
don't mind if i dont' see the snow

it's far too cold
so we'll just spend the day inside
a cup of cocoa, we'll watch a movie
and that'll keep us warm tonight
(and i'll keep us warm tonight)
its far too cold
and going out would waste your time
(and going out would waste my time)
so baby, cuddle up beside and we can be like this all night
(so i'll be cuddled up beside you and we can be like this all night)

it's far too cold
so we'll just spend the day inside
a cup of cocoa, we'll watch a movie
and that'll keep us warm tonight
(and i'll keep us warm tonight)
its far too cold
and going out would waste your time
(and going out would waste my time)
i hope you stay...
(i think i'll stay...)

far too cold (ft. EMBER)

this song is on my album :]

i promise you tonight that i'll be fine
i promise you that i won't let it get to me that much
and promise me you'll tell me that you tried
and wake me up tomorrow just to tell me that you lied

and i don't know how much longer i can take this
it's way to much for me and everything is changing way too fast
i know i told you that i'd change
but everything has stayed the same
so can you give me one more day

it's hard for me to tell you, exactly what i meant
and that i'll never ever let you pass me by again
im telling you the truth
that everything i do
has always been for you
it's always been for you

and i don't know how much longer i can take this
it's way to much for me and everything is changing way too fast
i know i told you that i'd change
but everything has stayed the same
so can you give me one more day

don't hold your breath
we're going down but you can let it fill your lungs
you're standing here beside me
and know that we're both trying
and holding on to fate while we both wait for perfect timing

if it were up to me, i'd tell you everything
that i wanted us to be
and how much that you meant to me

i stood outside on that night
that we argued and cried the whole time
and i wanted to die
and i wanted to lie down
and turn into stone so that i
i'll never
i'll never 
i'll never
i'll never hurt you again

promise

the front bottoms - hello world

well, the sun was made for people
who were never gonna touch it
keep their heads up anyway

and my notebook’s filled with stories
some of them have kept their meanings
most of them, i’ve thrown away

and my phone calls with the stranger
and we have nothing in common
and i have nothing to say
fingertips find the pulse now
as a heart begins to slow down
and a best friend slips away

it used to go question and then answer
but we were younger and it was easy
and now it goes question and then question
question, answers don’t come so easy

but i am a grown-up, so i should find something
to occupy my time
instead of notebooks filled with nonsense
looking for answers i’ll never find, i’ll never find

sometimes you talk when you are sleeping
about things that have no meaning
but i listen anyway

i have been thinking about leaving
but my best options say to stay
i think i’ll lay down in the street
and let the cars drag me away

“you know what i mean?” i think you ask me
when you’re done telling me your story
but i have drunk and i have been ignoring
every single word you say
and now you show me new tattoos
as my fingers touch your skin
you say they all have so much meaning
while colored ink is sinking in

it used to go question and then answer
but we were younger and it was easy
and now it goes question and then question
question, answers don’t come so easy

but i am a grown-up, so i should find something
to occupy my time
instead of notebooks filled with nonsense
looking for answers i’ll never find, i’ll never find
i’ll never find

hello world (cover)

tell me what you think about me
cause i been losing sleep im getting restless
i look around to such a sad scene
i dont know how to tell you that im jealous
i wish it could be just one thing
i wish it was as simple as a message
but no one gets it wrong as much as me
and i dont wanna keep you second guessing

Insecure

@ k9id3n @ reservv
and i dont talk much
im just a zombie
i think you lied again when
you said that you want me
its just a flesh wound
its just a small thing
but somethings tearing me apart
so please dont touch me
don't wanna chase you
its just a craving
its hurts me more than you so
baby stay away please
ill pour my heart out
my hands are shaking
and you're the antidote
oh baby save me

and one day i will dance like a real life man
it brings me back to life when i hold your hand
when i wake up im thinking about you
spend a day with a zombie that luvs you <3
and one day i will dance like a real life man
it brings me back to life when i hold your hand
when i wake up im thinking about you
spend a day with a zombie that luvs you <3

oh girl is it really that serious
ive been drinking and im feeling delerious
and im going through the songs that you love
and im feeling it like a cold wind blowing and my
body is shaking and shaking
i could write you a thousand words
or write a thousand hooks of the way you
looked that autumn afternoon
when we walked by the gravestone
you would never say it but i knew it from your voice
that you never felt the same way

and one day i will dance like a real life man
it brings me back to life when i hold your hand
when i wake up im thinking about you
spend a day with a zombie that luvs you <3
and one day i will dance like a real life man
it brings me back to life when i hold your hand
when i wake up im thinking about you
spend a day with a zombie that luvs you <3

A Real Life Man! ft. Reserv

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OarnNAUe_U4

is is such a bad thing
for me to be in love
for me to hold you close enough
to hear your heartbeat, and feel your pulse
against my body
you know i think of you
whenever i feel blue
im praying that you feel the same way
so tell is is that such a bad thing?

i cant believe im sitting here
and im waiting for a text back
you said ur hanging with ur friends i shoulda guessed that
cause when im near you my hearts beating out my chest
and im not too good at anything but you r what im best
can we go on a date?
ill pick u up at 8
we'll take it slow i wouldn't have it any other way
when i look at your face
i dont know what to say to you...

but is is such a bad thing
for me to be in love
for me to hold you close enough
to hear your heartbeat, and feel your pulse
against my body
you know i think of you
whenever i feel blue
im praying that you feel the same way
so tell is is that such a bad thing?

Is That Such a Bad Thing? (mv out now)

super bass (zombie mix)

my new song love you guys x

and i can stay for just a little bit
i gotta catch a flight tomorrow can we deal with this
i dont wanna fight it baby can you make a wish
and you dont gotta tell me girl i know ur sick of it
so whats a mistake 
its just a look on your face
i know that its late
i just had something to say
i guess it can wait
i guess ill just wait here

your love is like a fairytale
your kiss is like a fantasy
your eyes are like symphony
i listen to your melody
your love is like a fairytale
your kiss is like a fantasy
your eyes are like symphony
i listen to your melody

im rotten to the core
wake up 2am
what do i do it for
id do it all again
i told you what i want
you weren't listening
i started tearing up
baby im sensitive
the way you look at me
you take my breath away
and i don't wanna stop
ive never felt this way
i couldn't help myself
you make me wanna stay
i dont know what i want
ill never be the same

your love is like a fairytale
your kiss is like a fantasy
your eyes are like symphony
i listen to your melody
your love is like a fairytale
your kiss is like a fantasy
your eyes are like symphony
i listen to your melody
your love is like a fairytale
your kiss is like a fantasy
your eyes are like symphony
i listen to your melody
your love is like a fairytale
your kiss is like a fantasy
your eyes are like symphony
i listen to your melody

Fairytale

@k9id3n

love you guys

so what's worse
the bullet or the chapter
the end becomes a casualty
my heart is beating faster
with your arms wrapped around me
im breaking down to photographs
and paragraphs about me
ill spend the night alone
but in my dreams ill make you happy

in bed but fully clothed
ive never felt this cold
i dreamt i pulled u close enough
to warm my frozen soul
and i don't feel right
and all these tears are streaming from my eyes
for just one more night
another dream so i can waste your time
what's worse
the bullet or the chapter
the end becomes a casualty
my heart is beating faster
with your arms wrapped around me
im breaking down to photographs
and paragraphs about me
ill spend the night alone
but in my dreams ill make you happy

Bedridden

I'm wasting my days listening to nothings
it's hard to think you were looking for something
I don't have a choice you'll do what you want to
I'm shedding a tear but saying I loved you

but it's nothing i could give or take
and I don't wanna leave but you don't wanna stay
is it just me? is it just my face?
and i want you to hold my heart when it breaks
and it's nothing i could give or take
and I don't wanna leave but you don't wanna stay
is it just me? is it just my face?
and i want you to hold my heart when it breaks again

and i don't understand what i did wrong
like did i hold i hold you hand for far too long?
and every day's the same since you've been gone
i just wish i could i could hold you in my arms
and i don't understand what i do right
i cry myself to sleep like every night
i wish it wasn't hard to let you go
i wish you cared enough to stay but

but it's nothing i could give or take
and I don't wanna leave but you don't wanna stay
is it just me? is it just my face?
and i want you to hold my heart when it breaks
and it's nothing i could give or take
and I don't wanna leave but you don't wanna stay
is it just me? is it just my face?
and i want you to hold my heart when it breaks again

but it's nothing i could give or take
and I don't wanna leave but you don't wanna stay
is it just me? is it just my face?
and i want you to hold my heart when it breaks
and it's nothing i could give or take
and I don't wanna leave but you don't wanna stay
is it just me? is it just my face?
and i want you to hold my heart when it breaks again

Give or Take

just for funsies :3
https://traktrain.com/kaiden

Solo Clips Aug 23'

brand new - moshi moshi

one of my favorite songs from when i was a kid, next song will be an original i promise :D

i think i'm crazy, baby, let you off the hook too easy
if you were a telephone, you'd still be off the hook
this is my last leg
been awake for days
in a minute i'll die of starvation
i'll come back a ghost if i can haunt you
and float around your room

what do i do when you get close?
if i kissed your neck, would you slit my throat?

are you thinking of me when you're putting on your make-up, darling, and dying your hair like you do?
well you're wasting your time if you're trying to impress me
i waste all my time just thinking of you

and i'm not imagining how you give me the shivers
standing up to your waist in your river
you're the sweetest boat-builder i think i've ever seen
dream in japanese
dream in japanese
some language i don't even know how to speak
you're still pretty and i am still choked up
it's probably just the same

the more i hang around you
the more hang-ups i get (more hang-ups i get)

are you thinking of me when you're putting on your makeup, darling, and dying your hair like you do?
and dying your hair like you do
well you're wasting your time if you're trying to impress me
i waste all my time just thinking of you

i know that you're an angel
though you could never stay true
you could never stay true
hey angel, i think your halo has a screw loose
'cause you dropped me like a brick off the rooftop of your high school
could i watch the next time you're applying your eyeliner?
i waste all my time just thinking of you

moshi moshi (brand new)

just this once w/ reserv, d8itY

sometimes we have no choice but to grow up. and all the things we once held so dear become obsolete. as the memories of you—and i fade away, i wonder if this is as bad as it feels. what if this was the best case scenario, you know? and even though it torments me to say it, i have to move on. and so do you. when i look at the stars i'll think of you. i hope you'll do the same. your words will stick with me forever. and as i look back on the time we spent, i cherish it. even if only for a moment, everything was perfect

a light in the tunnel

it must be something in the water
that makes us act like this
and even thought we're getting older
i kept the note when we were kids
and i'll hold onto this forever
cause i remember what it's worth
it's all the time we spent together
i think about it though it hurts

and every word you said last night
i hold you closer and then i cried
and every second that's gone by
i miss you more and more each time

oh, lily
you meant everything to me
oh, lily
you meant everything to me, oh

lily

don't know what i expected
i did this to myself
i couldn't be enough for us
i only thought of me this time
don't know what else i wanted
i guess it was just your time
i guess it was just attention
i guess it was only lies

we're so far from where we started (can you just answer me this time?)
if i could go back i would change it (would you go back to make things right?)
and i pretended i didn't care when you said you were gonna die
and i pretended i didn't, but i cried

please just answer the phone
this can't be happening to me
it's always my fault
i'd take it all back in the next life

please just answer the phone
this can't be happening to me
it's all my fault, like always
i'd take it all back in the next life

october 27

throw my hopes into the void
and listen back to hear your voice
but when i speak it turns to noise
throw my hopes out to the wind
i hope this moment never ends
i feel the blood rush through my skin

and every second of every minute
pounds into my head
we're frozen in time forever
cause i'm scared to reach the end
and i meant nothing to you
and nothing to me
it all meant nothing to you
i guess i'm nothing

and every second of evеry minute
pounds into my head
we'rе frozen in time forever
cause i'm scared to reach the end
and i meant nothing to you
and nothing to me
it all meant nothing to you
i guess i'm nothing

loss of self, part 2

your journal never mentioned anything at all
you said i never listen, i guess it's all my fault
the world falls down around us, we're safe inside these walls
pretend our worlds connected, pretend you cared at all

walking through the void, it's nothing left for us
this open field is calling, it tells me i'm in love
walking through the void, it's nothing left for us
i'm not sure what i have, i know it's nothing much

and this feeling is oh so familiar
i tried to hard and hit the wall again
and this feeling is gone with a whisper
an empty room with all my thoughts again

walking through the void, it's nothing left for us
this open field is calling, it tеlls me i'm in love
walking through the void, it's nothing lеft for us
i'm not sure what i have, i know it's nothing much

there's nothing left for us

just shut me out, act like i don't exist
i never meant for it to be like this
these moments passing, i'll never catch it
so i'll stay here
just shut me out, act like i don't exist
i never meant for it to be like this
these moments passing, i'll never catch it
so i'll stay here

just shut me out, act like i don't exist
i never meant for it to be like this
these moments passing, i'll never catch it
so i'll stay here
just shut me out, act like i don't exist
i never meant for it to be like this
these moments passing, i'll never catch it
so i'll stay here

can we move on (or pretend this never happened)

at the end of it all, i still couldn't save you. no matter how it plays out. and every waking moment i think about it. and i think about trying to follow you. and i cry. and i cry. and i keep crying no matter how hard i try not to. and no matter what, i can't help but blame myself. i wish we could share words, just one more time. and i could see you smile. such a beautiful smile

but there's constant ringing in my ears at this point (but everything i ended up doing, was all for me), and i don't know what to make of it. (and every scar, and every teardrop) i think fondly of the time we spent together (i hate that things had to turn out like this), and if i could say one more thing to you (i hope you can forgive me), i'd tell you: "even in death, i love you"

a clouded dream, a crowded room

you’re taking your clothes off
my heart beats faster
i never thought that i would get to see 
a scar on your shoulder
you never told me how it happened
that night when you were all alone you said you
hate when i’m like this
i said i’m i’m sorry for asking 
but i don’t know if i can handle one more 
pull on my heartstrings
but then you said that it’s ok 
i just get nervous i can’t help it but tonight the world is 
falling, falling to pieces
it’s just the two of us that’s left to pick them up <3
and when your talking, talking to me girl
i just can’t help but start to blush because tonight the world is 
falling, falling to pieces
it’s just the two of us that’s left to pick them up 
and when your talking, talking to me girl 
i’d give you everything i have to see you smile but
you can’t see
how much you mean to me
o.m.g
i’d give you everything
i can’t breathe 
when i’m right near you and
i still can’t let you know how much it hurts to see you leaving but 
you can’t see
how much you mean to me
o.m.g
i’d give you everything
i can’t breathe 
when i’m right near you and
i still can’t let you know how much it hurts to see you leaving girl

kaiden

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