An original available for performers. Contact me for info. A humorous party song for an adult audience. 

Chords
E A B7
With pinky embellishments on E and A chords

The Spanking Song
(I Want to Spank You Tonight)

Are you tired of staying home, are you bored with going out.
Well, I got a new game I want to tell you about.
It’s called—I want to spank you tonight.
Come on Babe, you gotta give this game a chance. It’s going to spice up our sex life and enhance our romance—I want to spank you tonight.

(Chorus)
All you gotta do is say pretty please, lay across my lap and drop your panties to your knees, and—I will spank you tonight.

I take you out to dinner, I order the finest wine. You say, “Can I get lobster?” I say, “Sure Babe, that’d be just fine—As long as I can spank you tonight.
I look across the table, I say, “You got pretty eyes,” but what I’m really thinking about is spanking those long tan thighs—I want to spank you tonight.

(Chorus)

You tell a funny story, I laugh and pour another drink. You think I think your funny, But I just want to spank your white ass pink—I want to spank you tonight.
By the look on your face, I can see that you don’t buy it, in fact I’m starting to get a little worried that you won’t even try it……..

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, I know what’s in it for you, but what’s in it for me? Well, I’ll tell you what’s in it for you. The first time you feel my hand come down on your pretty little behind, you’re gonna feel a tingle run up and down your spine, and down your long tan thighs, past your pretty little knees, and shoot out your toes…and you’re going to say, “More Baby, more Baby, more!” And I’m going to spank you again and again, harder and harder, and that tingle will become a quiver, and that quiver will become a tremor, and suddenly your whole body will explode in ecstasy! 

But I digress.  Line up ladies! 

(Chorus)

9-The Spanking Song.m4a

Original available for performers -contact me for info. 

Chords
E A B7 with pinky embellishments on E and A chords
Dave’s Drunk Song

I know ya think I’m feelin’ kind of drunk now baby, but I’m
telling you that that ain’t true. 
Though ya know I’m seeing two of almost everything, at least I’m seeing two of you. 
I know you can’t get enough of me, but Babe, I really gotta take a pee, so why don’t you wait right here. 
So, I go off to find the head, but I bump into the bar instead, 
I say Bartender One More Beer!

When I finally get to the bathroom door, I’m so drunk I can hardly see. 
When I get inside, I find it’s the ladies’ room, but lordy, I got to pee! 
I’m too drunk to try to think, so I whip it out and pee in the sink, when a large woman grabs me by the ear. 
Next thing I know I’m out the door, sliding on my belly cross the floor, yelling,
Bartender One More Beer!

Now I’m layin on the floor lookin up at my Baby, and she’s looking down at me.
She yells Pee – ew! You smell like shit, and you’re all covered with pee! 
She pours her drink all over my head, she kicks me around and then she said, Loser, I’m out of here! 
But I don’t give a damn somehow, hell, I can hardly remember her now.
Bartender One More Beer!

10-Dave’s Drunk Song.m4a

Original available to record. Contact me for info. -humorous song for runners 
Chords
Verse: E   XXXXX3
Refrain: A C D C XXXXX3


Marathon Man
You get up early about quarter to five.
Your mouth is scummy, you feel barely alive.
You put on your running shoes and other smelly stuff.
It’s raining outside , but you say that’s tough.
You run when it’s raining, you run whenever you can.
Someday you’re gonna to be a marathon man.

Your joints are creaking as you hit the street.
Your stomach’s gooey, you got an ache in your feet.
But you like suffering, you like feeling the pain.
So, you run on in the pouring rain.
You run when it’s raining, you run in snow if you can.
Someday you’re gonna be a marathon man.

The rain is stopping now, and you’re breaking a sweat.
Everyone that you pass, you get all wet.
You see two girls, you think they’re looking at you.
But when you pass, they hold their nose and go pee-yoo!
You run for the people, you show off when you can.
Someday you’re gonna be a marathon man.

You come to a hill; you feel a pain in your side.
But you don’t slow down, no! You got your pride.
I made it to the top , we’ll hear you braggin.
What we don’t see is that you started gaggin.
You run up hills, you run stairs if you can.
Someday you’re gonna be a marathon man.

Now you’ve gone 10 miles, you feel kinda sick.
But instead of slowing down, no! You start your kick.
You get to your driveway, it’s almost too late.
You put your head in a garbage can, and you regurgitate.
You run til you drop, then run more if you can.
Someday you’re gonna be a marathon man.

Huff, huff, huff, huff, huff, huff, huff, huff….Arrrrgh!

8-Marathon Man.m4a

This is an introspective song, for the searcher and the dreamer.

An Empty Rhyme
Chords
Verse:     G D Am C
Refrain:   F G C F G C 

Sometimes I think it could have been me up there. 
Then again, I know that couldn’t be true.
Though you know that I may be a lot like him.
And he may be a lot like you.

Is it just an empty rhyme that somehow was passed down through time, a melody surviving the years. Would my life be any different now if my parents hadn’t shown me how, or if I hadn’t held back those tears.

Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t ask the question why, but deep inside I know that could never be. Though you know sometimes I think I see a simple answer there, but those are times when I’m someone else not me. 

The empty rhyme  and the melody are just players in a tragedy, a story born out of man’s fears. Would my life be any different now if my parents hadn’t shown me how or I hadn’t held back those tears. 

Sometimes I think this world is meant for fools, but then that leaves nowhere for me and you. But I know that there’s a place somewhere on the inside of my mind, and when I can find it, you will have it too.

The joker in the tragedy is the one that we all paid to see and we’re sorry that he never appears. Would the world be any different now if our parents hadn’t shown us how or if we hadn’t held back those tears.




1-An Empty Rhyme

Kai Fox

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