© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (November 2009)

Recorded September 2, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

Heaps of things before my eyes
Fallen leaves and colored lies
Words are pretty, words are true
And only pretty words remain
Drawing circles in my brain
Make me happy through and through

So I sit here dying, never crying
Just relying on it all
When thoughts are wasted you can taste it
Mild perfume of freedom's fall

Heaps of things before the skies
Crimson gods and all their tries
Words meander, words obey
And words are never what they seem
And if they bite, make sure you scream
A single sun can make a day

Gas balloons are rising, 'Ain't surprising'
Said the man and picked his nose
Young minds are greying while we're playing
Head and shoulders, knees and toes

Just got down from heaven, I'm free now to choose
Between everyone's troubles and mine
But caramel drops down on me from the ceiling
It seems pretty harsh to resign
Yet no one follows me, talks to me, weeps for me
Everyone's troubles I nowhere can find
I close the gate quietly, heaven adieu
And leave everyone's troubles behind

Now I'm a rambler, I roam where I roam
And the street is my home and I'm free
The one thing that grieves me's that nowhere I go to
I ever could possibly be
Freedom's restricted by fines christened taxes
And freedom's imprisoned in walls made of laws
And we the free people are captured inside
Of the system with nowhere to go

First we all are born equal
In the end we will all be the same
Tell a big lie to the living
Ain't they all cute, ain't they tame?
They work off their asses for stuff they adore
Then they have it, don't use it, then suffocate and then they rot
Hail the glory of God!

Heaps of things before my mind
Grinning madly, gladly blind
But buried love will take its toll
You're just a pawn in this game of chess
And when you've grinned yourself to death
Who will pray for a heart of coal?

Heaps of Things

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (April 2011)

Recorded March 27, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

I'll never find my way around it, nor understand the ways of speech and sound
I'll never find my way around it but I'll always find a way to cut it down
I'll never find my way upon it, nor ever dig a tunnel through the ground
I'll never find my way upon it but I'll always find a way to cut it down

Daddy, don't weep, man
There's a cat on the corner that is killing little mice to feel free, man
Now that cat sure is smart
Start to believe, man
There's a space on that corner, if you do not want it, leave it for me, man
It'll cheer up my heart

My simple mind doesn't get the fears of your soul
But I don't mind, it's just a lesser part of the whole
All people lie, people who don't lie are not free
So don't deny that you are no better than me

Neoliberal Canon

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (July 2011)

Recorded April 26, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

Do I really think another world
Could carry everyone it feeds?
Even the trees that do not grow but stay unseen
Inside the darkness of their seeds
Their weary attitude reminds me of my haze

I don't understand the warm vibrations free of substance
That the outer crusts embed
Lipsyncing everyone who dies illuminated
By the silence in my head
This song's catastrophe explodes through time and space
Dragging me on

Chorus:
This is surveillance crashing right into the mind of someone waiting
Any dead Jesus only living through the sighs of someone waiting
Always I feel their eyes of doom as I walk the streets disguised in bloom
No sound is heard as I sink back into my room, I'm someone waiting

Wavering at the thought of yoga
Paralyzed by oh the sweetest pain
Sometimes I sadly see your silent silhouette
A distant shadow to remain
This homegrown rhapsody is blue as blue can be
You play it well

Chorus

All the sudden movements steel the crusts
But of the core don't leave a trace
Only a narrow golden string of silent voices
Bravely echoes through the space
Where is the nightingale sings for another spring?
Where have you gone?

Chorus

My voice lies shattered at the bottom of an old steamboat
That is crashing down the rolling thunder
Of a misty waterfall producing rainbows
And it won't lie, it is my life, it is my world, it is my world
It is the truth but I won't bother you too much with it
I will only tell the moon

Someone Waiting

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (August 2010)

Recorded September 9, October 1 and October 2, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

I hated friendship, it was a miracle
The mother of my fears
Till I got a phonecall from a photograph
That showed a man in tears
It wandered straightway into my colour scheme
And ripped it all apart
It caused my swamp life to finally overflow
Before I faded, I rather followed it down
To them all

Chorus:
This is a rather surrealist approach said the man to his life
I do believe it is time that we get off the coach, get off
For it's time or time's away

I hated Sundays, they cut me right in two
And made me lose my shape
They were the truck stops inside my motorbrain
Always longing to escape
But still they caught me and ate my heart and soul
And asked me 'Who are you?'
I didn't know it, I was a mirror then
Before I faded I rather followed them down
To them all

Chorus

See, they're tryin' to drag me down there, to drag me down there
Everywhere I seek peace they linger 'round
Grab me and then drag me down there, they drag me down there
And they cut off my face, swallow my sound
See my eyes, they turned them upside down
I can barely feel light inside my gown
Turned my deepest feelings inside out
And I can't even shout, head in a cloud
And forgetting my name they drag me down there
And forgetting myself they drag me down

I hated chocolate, my brightest enemy
Seduction wrapped in foil
Yes, it was chocolate that wrote the testament
That made me turn to soil
Within a dog's life the pack had tracked me down
And fed me till I burst
It was the death shot, I couldn't move nor breathe
Before I faded I rather followed them down
To them all

Chorus

Come over, get a light rhyme just for yourself
This one will be your own, for nobody else
Its sugarcoated yell will stick in your head
If something is that sweet, how could it be bad?
We're gonne make you feel right
Until you're brainless and quiet
Then we will sit on your lap
Relax and mind the gap

And when you've had enough of worry and strife
Of course we are concerned cause ours is your life
The moment that your clean blank bones hit the floor
We get your naked soul out through the back door
We will inhabit your mind
To keep you happy and blind
But don't climb out of your shelf
You're gonna hurt yourself

The Equalizers

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (January 2011)

Recorded April 25, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

I don't know how but fall in love
So I sit down and write a winter song
Statin' I've been too long just duckin' down
Confusion smiles a brighter smile
And says to me 'Dear boy, you're underweight'
While over at sun estate I might ask:

Will you please turn me around and into something new?
For I, I would follow you down to the strands of laughter humble and sound

I don't know why approaching you
I smile again and you smile back at me
Smile at me recklessly, over and out
But I will sing until you turn
My little song into a christmas tale
Leaving a blissful trail of my soul

And you keep me awake, who am I to hope
That you will follow me down to the strands of laughter hollow and fake?

Curious, sentimental
Looking through a wall of green glass
You for once scratched the surface
Causing me to stop right there
Wondering why you don't seem to
Understand my devotion
Till everything is lost in white snow
Rest awhile to consider
Merging with the wilderness
Open up your eyes and linger on

Your tender eyes, your funny voice
Your warm embrace, my plain absurdity
Are they a curse to me or a rather a call
For shaking off the ties that bind
To drift unto a new identity
That could make sense of me and of it all?

If you still can forgive a strange but lovin' fool
And I, I will try not to fail you again, oh please, start makin' me live

Enter now gloomy Sunday
Sets into my ears a blue note
Rings into holy Monday
Melts into the winter air
As an old reminder that it's
Either now or never
Freed from all façade, my clear soul
Will it show, will it tarnish?
And will it accept itself?
Shakin' I dive headfirst into spring

Time's now and then, get up again
And add it up to what you had before
What made you mad before, it's in and it's out
I'd never thought that I could win
Now I'm beginnin' to appreciate
Rainy day real estate's funny ghosts

And you will always remain, silent but secure
And I, I guess I'll just inhabit the strands of laughter solemn but cured

A Winter Song

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (June 2010)

Recorded September 3 and 4, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

The farmer is the man who works hard for life and land
And he knows he'll always try, and he always wonders why
Rain and storm will rape his land, it may break him, he will stand
Till he turns and makes his way home through the cold

Chorus:
What is life and is it living now?
There's a whip and a saddle on my back and the rocks I plough
But I guess I'll never know
I'll just leave it all to the baby-o

The farmer had a child, living freedom, running wild
Till it learned that life's a quest that grows chains around your breast
It worked hard with all its pride, it worked hard until it died
Not before it left a child to bear its own

Chorus

Cast my eyes against the wind, I got nothing to say
Cast my eyes against the storm and I get blown away
I was never even warned, now I'm left with myself
But living is the only thing, I sigh and stuff my mind into a shelf

I'm sitting in a train that is whisteling in vain
And its rhythm makes me feel like I'm tied up to a wheel
But I know I'll never die, I commence to weep and cry
Cause the track's a freakin' circle, can't you see?

Chorus

The Baby-O

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (April 22, 2009)

Recorded March 26, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

Diamond eyes
Shining in the sun this cloudy day
Quickly
They tie me to my chair, can't get away
Helpless
I sit there staring but they never see
Desperate
I struggle 'gainst the ties but can't get free

Hopeless
Distraught and shattered, joyless, dead and drowned
Nothing
Could ease this precious pain that I have found
I sit here
And sing this silly song but there's no end
Captured
I am so much in love, is there a friend?

Shivers
Eating through my body to the core
Freeze me
Means that I am doomed forevermore
Diamond eyes
Shining in the sun but not for me
Burns and burns
Diamond eyes, who is it that you see?

Diamond Eyes

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (mid-2008)

Recorded April 12, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

Warming rays, no more night
Praise the sun, days are bright

Chorus:
And then I slipped, and then I fell
And then you quit the day
Leaving me alone in pain
To fade away

Sullen thoughts crooked my mind
Always thought God was kind

Chorus

Told myself not to stay
Fuck the world, I'm on my way

And so I slipped, and so I fell
And so you quit the day
Leaving me alone in pain
To fade away

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (March 2008)

Recorded May 30, May 31 and July 26, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

Caught like a headwind out on a plain
Where everybody's part of the game
The other players stand as the core
They see you but they don't know what for
You sit there staring, lips make no sound
You freeze but still the circle is round
The others still pretend to be sure
You feel it but you know they'll be going down

The mailman is the first one to stagger
King he faints but then he exagger-
ates because he surely ain't shy
And mailmen ain't permitted to die
The bad thing though's that the king loses ground
The mail disappears will never be found
The mailman then turns into a thistle
King just pulls his sword and he cuts it down

And I stand like a sinner, like the writer in a corner of the plain
And from a distance cries my master, cries that foetus in my brain

The king has barely finished his deed
That the wound in the flower's corpse starts to bleed
The liquid flows, swallowing sound
Into the crowd that has gathered around
The emperor still stands like a stone
The angry crowd pulls him off of his throne
The sky's blue shelter breaks right in two
And all the cold aggression is coming down

And I stand like a preacher, a believer as the center of all rain
Down from the ceiling cries the savior, cries that foetus in my brain

In the end when people turn into rats
The sky keeps crashing down on their heads
You grab your feet and run for your life
The game's objective's now to survive
Finally, the grim reaper comes near
Don't need him cause the lawnmower's here
As the reaper still proceeds with his way
The farmers take their rifles and shoot him down

And I stand like a tower, like a brickhouse in the ashes that remain
Won't find my peace cause like a phoenix is that foetus in my brain

People, you crie for forgiveness, I say it is helpless, is God really your friend?
For he makes you suffer like pigs at the slaughter's, not solving eternal strife
You never will grasp the meaning of life

Foetus in My Brain

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (November 2010)

Recorded March 26 and May 3, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

I'm not amused, in fact I'm disregarding everything there is
Because it's nothing I would miss
My friends are animals, they'd kill me if they must, I hear them call
Because they are not there at all
I don't know how but in summer I will banish every obstacle
That contains what I want to be
I don't know why but in summer I will talk to all my enemies
Hoping everyone leaves me be

Chorus:
Straight lines running through my home to track me down
I conform to escape, to escort you right up
But they track me down, oohooh, they track me down
Loud voices shouting 'Happy new year!' through the droning
Always keeping hold of those straight lines
Tryin' to drag me down, to drag me down
But no, I'm gonna rise up

I'm not alone and yet I long for so much more than I could take
I seldom speak when I'm awake
My god is dead but doesn't know, it taught me more than I'd admit
And still I miss it just a bit
Assume it lived, it could never measure up to my alternatives
It would vanish, I'd turn to gold
But I'm alive and I pray that it will eat through all my underwear
Make me tumble both brave and bold

Chorus

I'm not a man, I am a box filled up with paradox remains
Of what burns only when it rains
Clown, I rely on you, you are not what you are, you are a lake
And now you're tied up to the stake
And when you burn I will falter like a hamster in a Ferris wheel
That surrenders to common sense
And when you die I will burst into a myriad of hieroglyphs
To slip through this cemented fence

Chorus

I don't want your evolution, I'd much rather rest a while
(I will set me free, I will set me free...)

From this wicked affair where emotions lie bare
But I've sure had my share singing songs in the silence

Straight Lines

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (February 2011)

Recorded March 29, 2014
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

I'm an exotic, somewhat psychotic
Cardboard magician come with the mission
To first reflect you and then infect you
And no one's ever gonna get me out

She's a cool liar, daydream messiah
Dressed in black satin, speaks only Latin
Many have seen her, few've ever been her
And no one's ever gonna get her out

He's a fantastic, iconoclastic
Vegetable grower based in the lower
Part of your kitchen, eats your religion
And no one's ever gonna get him out

They are both actors, phony detectors
Joined by resistance to the existence
Dance to the grooves in synchronized moves and
There is nobody gonna get them out

We are the cream, if the world won't appreciate
Turn it 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round
Oh, to be free, that is all, if you want it too
Make a sound, a sound, loud sound, weird sound

Look at the masses, molten molasses
Pale understanding of a smooth landing
Man in the black-tie must be a magpie
But he is never gonna get us out

Doorways may crumble, preachers may mumble
Reason may suffer, truth may get tougher
Wisdom may vary, tits may get hairy
But nothing's ever gonna get us out

Look at the crowd in the streets, that is cabaret
See their frowns, mad frowns, sad frowns, dead frowns
They say they're free whereas we are surrounded now
By those clowns, mad clowns, sad clowns, dead clowns

This isn't yet the final word, it's just some concept called the real world
If you dig down into the underground, a purer life can easily be found
Let's pray that till Justitia dies she's stuck our heads into the real life
Breathes her words to get us on our way, to understand her very own

The Anarchists Anonymous Appreciation Anthem

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (August 2010)

Recorded January 2, 2015
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

Cruel tide, life-like
Born alone into a world without green
A no-one turns to me, then looks away
And stares down at my feet, as if to say:
"You were not made to be laid low
To set the scene you'll have to go away," away, away

Hard road, heavy bones
As I walk towards salvation
I stumble 'cause a door lies in my way
The sky replies and turns a deeper grey
The world is turning inside out
While I just lie there, but the clouds will stay, they'll stay, they'll stay

Night falls, tide calls
Dim light trapped on the surface
The light it seems is tied up to my way
The only one who moves under my sway
But then the ground, its darkest shades
They free my slave, who quickly fades away, away, away

Sweet face, human grace
Warm voice wakes a dead memory
And deep into my heart a warming ray
"Now shine, I could be yours", it seems to say
It is right there to reach, to hold
But I am busy turning gold to hay, to hay, to hay

Long gone, I crawl on
Senseless life on the ceiling
But still those thoughts of love won't go away
They beat my mortal soul, which fades to grey
The only cure against my fear
That everything and all is here to stay, to stay, to stay

Part set, half dead
Walk, stop, steadily bleeding
And bang!, it's there, the long awaited day
With nothing so it seems, that I could say
While silently I scream, I shout:
"Come up and ride my roundabout today!" today, today

Shot past, free at last
Dead man walking in circles
I'm sitting on an open summer sleigh
It takes me through the never-ending May
With all that fed me dead and gone
Why couldn't I keep moving on the way, my way, a way?

My Roundabout

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (January 2008)

Recorded January 3 & 4, 2015
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

Hello to all you morons who whimper and who cry
I'm smart compared to all of those who never want to die
Their mind is getting weary and their body starts to rot
They're alive but they're decaying which I certainly am not
Death is the only thing that can stop aging
You let your life go past with nowhere to go
And all I want is to die soon

For my psychic alienation I sure know whom to blame
Their never-ending presence will make me go insane
But lying in a corner with a rope around your feet
An enemy who knows your thoughts is always tough to beat
While their only purpose is to kill my patience
Was always drifting, now time is running low
And all I want is to die soon

Bridge:
I am a poor boy, yes indeed
Sit on a tombstone, I never eat
Cut up my veins cause I like to bleed
Can't walk away, got too little feet	yeah

Bridge

I finally discovered, though really hard to find
The essence of a hero imprisoned in my mind
Now I can take revenge for all the dreadful deeds they done
I've always hated mankind cause I'm not the chosen one
Now my only goal is to defeat the nation
I won't accept my seat in sucker row
And all I want is to die soon

To Die Soon

© Kai Pauldrach

Words and music by Kai Pauldrach (November 2009)

Recorded January 7, 2015
All voices and instruments by Kai Pauldrach

Lyrics:

I am what nobody in the world can destroy
I am the creator, I am hell, I am joy
I'm punk
And you could never deny me

I am the existence, I'm a natural force
I am boy, I am girl, I am love and divorce
I'm punk
And you can't even defy me

I'm your inner spirit, I'm your back, I'm your spine
I'm your year-long sprint to the end of the line
I am wall, I am door, I'm a mind split in two
I am you, I am you, I am you, I am you

I am the survivor, I'm alive and I'm free
I am what I was and what I always will be
I'm punk
And I would reign if you let me
I'm punk
And I would reign if you let me

Kai Pauldrach

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