m sorryim making anew imogen heap edit

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quick wave tool i put together in between more involved projects

Reconstruct & Reprogram

just for now, in excelsis Deo

born slippy

playboi carti 2024 iyrliaes remix

treeworld ʘ

🏭

bitch where - https://soundcloud.com/chiefkeef
threnody - https://soundcloud.com/exploitedbody + APEAK

whre

shhh @ Ciclo Esculpido en Mármol

The other day, I found myself reflecting on how music-making, something once so sacred to me, had lost much of its meaning over the years. I’ve spent so much time oscillating: between working independently and being signed to a major label, between relying on external structures and going it alone, between bands, side projects, collaborations, and breakdowns. I’ve endured the fallouts of toxic friendships, creative partnerships gone sour, and the slow erosion of trust that comes from repeatedly offering your vulnerability to the wrong people.

The trauma of those experiences, betrayal, burnout, and creative exploitation, left scars. There were long stretches where I couldn’t create. Or wouldn’t. I was afraid to give too much of myself again, afraid of being used, discarded, or misunderstood. Music became a landmine field of memory and mistrust. The rhythm was lost.

But lately, something’s shifted. A flicker. A pulse. A rhythm returning.

I’ve started to hear again. Not just sound, but the impulse to create. Ideas come in waves, bursts of inspiration I can’t ignore. And for the first time in a long while, I welcome them without questioning their purpose. It feels like the spirit of music has found me again. Possessed me, in the best way.

What’s different now is that I’ve stopped tying creation to outcomes. I’m no longer chasing metrics, audience reach, or platform performance. I don’t care if it goes viral. I don’t care if it even gets heard. The act of creating is enough. Making something from nothing, purely because I can, feels like a radical reclamation of joy.

Maybe it’s this return to form, or formlessness, that’s guiding me back to myself. I’m rediscovering what it means to make music without strings attached. No algorithm, no pressure, no false sense of worth assigned by streams or likes. Just the sound in my head, brought to life on my own terms.

And for now, that’s more than enough.

July 25, 2025

this one starts at 117 and ends at 170 (don't you think its nicer when things don't pay off the way you thought they would?)

🏭

Kaiju Soup

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