vulnerable...

prod. @irby <3

spotify pre-save ! https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/kanashi/demotivated
lyrics: 

im feeling...
so demotivated...
and i hate it...
i hate it...
i...hate it...

tell me how im supposed to live like this
i try to exhale this pain from my lips
and im getting kinda tired
of questioning my...existence...
yeah its just one big mess
nothing fills this absence in my chest...

maybe i could end this all?
cuz lately that is all i want...
i swear to god there not much more to this
i know that it is kinda morbid but...
i dont rlly wanna stick around to watch it all play out

tell me how im supposed to live like this
i try to exhale this pain from my lips
and im getting kinda tired
of questioning my...existence...
yeah its just one big mess
nothing fills this absence in my chest...

i dont wanna keep on like this now...
i dont want to
would you rlly blame me if i tossed it all away? 
i dont want to...

i dont want to x6

demotivated  [+irby]

Track 1 off Self Titled Album

prod. @horoshamusic and @sorrow_bringer 

song about driving high af and bein sad

Spotify

long way home [+horosha & sorrow bringer]

track 4 of Self Titled Album
@carlby
prod. metlast x 5head <3

lyrics:

stuck here for a minute tryna figure shit out
looking at the edge and i dont know how
im gonna get thru all this shit
idk how to deal

cuz my mind is hell
yeah im a little bit unwell
stuck inside this cell
all i do is repell
they all say that i need some help
but they cant even figure their own shit out....
woah oh...

(carlby)
they cant even figure their own shit out
there's a hell in my head
like im peele ima get out

got a lot of problems from the trauma
maybe i was born sick
maybe this is karma

like paying for the sins of my father
but i dont wanna die a martyr
with every hit i take
i grow stronger 
with every passing day
i wear out my stay a little while longer

they cant even figure their own shit out
now they wanna tell me how to fix myself
im stuck in my mind and im tryna get out

my mind is hell (feat. Carlby)

Track 2 off Self Titled Album
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7jTlBrjRlC8r0NsakKn4mE?si=7455f455e80d4151

new track every Wednesday!

Prod. @iofmusic <3

lyrics: 

and i guess the timing was not right 
but is it ever really though?
and you said you dont wanna hurt again 
woah oh
and i cant seem to forget
all the the things you said back then...

i cant forget....

ive been feelin' so fucked up 
and drinkin' everyday
all my friends they try to tell me "itll be okay"
but ill just suffer in silence
every night i struggle to close my eyelids
its getting kind of old...
and i know, its not your fault
you held on, as long as you could
but baby im just too fucked up!

im too fucked up...

chorus repeats*

feeling fucked up [+iof]

live my life with the anxiety 
way too many stupid feelings inside of me
the things you do so normally
are making me feel like i cannot breath

sometimes i just wanna die...
sunlight spills in hurts my eyes
another sleepless night

another sleepless night
i can never close my eyes

and everybody tells me the same old thing
 "we all get sad" yeah, its kind of disgusting
its like they really don't understand me
this isolation gets me feeling really empty
this is why i keep to myself
this is why i deny all your help
im so sick of all this shit

you know that im so sick of this
my stomachs queasy
i just want to end it...

anxiety [+metlast & 5head]

no more [+jody]

artwork @astrosux
@sendflowrs 
lyrics:
(kanashi)
ive been
waiting...
things are never changing
my mental state is still degrading...
and they all wanna switch up
tryna fight? put ur fuckin fists up 
and they all wanna talk 
but they dont wanna get none
try to walk the walk
but when u see me u gon' run 

u cant hide behind your little screens for too long
for too long

and u know it kills me!
i just wanna try to get along!
but these idiots make it so damn hard
and im sorry if i come off like an asshole
its just that ive got a lot of scars from ppl just like you
fake ass bitches in plain view
yeah you cant fool me 
i see right through 

i see right through!
i see right through you  !!


(sendflowrs)
i see right thru u
i dont wanna talk i just wanna fucking get offline
the shit that you do 
stresses me out control alt delete my life
look at your posts
you say you hate drama but u doing the most
fuck that, ur toast
fuck all ur friends theyre fuckin jokes

lemme calm down

i try to get along with you 
u talkin shit on all i do
like what the fuck is wrong with you?

i try to get along with you,
discord soldiers, all of you
lile what the fuck is wrong with you?

too long ! [+sendflowrs & xmichaelwarren]

its not personal, its strictly business
prod. @jolst @irby314

im drunk again
i miss your face
just wish that i 
could replace 
the memories 
that are haunting me 
i miss the simple pleasantries
like sitting with you
staring at the sea 
this sullen panic
slowly surrounds me 

you dont know
you dont know
wat you're doing to me
you dont know 
you dont know 

you never loved me and it shows
it hurts me more than u could ever know
that im not the one you chose...

i wake up, 4 am
staring at the clock
wishing that i was him 
u dont know what your doing to me
baby
thought you were the best
rip my heart 
out of my chest 
i know that you 
would do it all again

i know that youd do it all again
but lets be real 
you're proabably better off with him
you're probably better off with him

you're probably better off...

im drunk again
miss your face
just wish that i
was what you wanted...

better off [+irby & jolst]

mix/master by me 

prod. sorrow bringer

dont know dont know dont know dont know...
if im ever gonna find the right path
dont know which way to go

i been waiting around
i been waiting around

i been waiting around
i been waiting around 

i been contemplatin' which way to say this
i know the cost but i dont know how to pay it 
please stop playin with me 
cuz u know that i would 
give up everything
for just a little bit of room to breathe

lights they flicker as i lay on my bedroom floor
i dont know why tf i even try anymore
none of these ppl really love me
i was foolish to think theyd ever think anything of me
of course they fucking dont...

and i dont wanna wait until theres nothin' left
ima keep on runnin' until my last breath x2 

ohhhhhh

waiting around [+sorrow bringer]

prod @jolst and @pekarot666

lyrics: 
i been tryin to figure out this mess but
i been so caught up in this web you've spun
oh god this cant be real...
i just need some time to heal and...

disappear from existence for a little while 
cuz all i wanted to do was
see you smile..
and it hurts so bad to
give your all to someone that does not want it
and its driving me crazy...
and maybe we can roll this back baby?
baby...

im fucking stuck here
and there is no escape
i swear this isnt what i wanted
oh, and now im right back where i fuckin started

and give me a reason why i should stick around
i would be better off gone for good
gone for good..

i just wanna disappear
i just wanna disappear

i think that i too....

disappear from existence for a little while 
cuz all i wanted to do was
see you smile..
and it hurts so bad to
give your all to someone that does not want it
and its driving me crazy...
and maybe we can roll this back baby?
baby...

im fuckings stuck here...

disappear from existence [+jolst & pekarot]

prod heydium <3

lyrics: 

yeah i struggle a lot with myself
i spend a lot of time stuck in this hell
caught up between realities
i try not to become another victim of mentality
but i tell you what..
this life is slowly killin me

da da da da
this shits too much
da da da da 
like i rlly give af?

how do i make this something real?
i fuck with the aesthetic
i just dont get the appeal...
and its kinda fuckin me up
hardly livin wit the liquor and the drugs
this life has never been enough
i hate myself and it fuckin sucks
yeah its been so long man, stuck in this rut
i could die tomorrow
yeah, nobody give af 

yeah nobody give af...
nobody give af...

NOBODY GIVE AF

nobody give af [+heydium]

i hate myself. 

original artwork by @astrosux

Prod. Heydium

Mix/Master - Me duh.

i hate myself [+heydium]

lifes been
stealin all my feelins
got me feelin different
so different

and ive been
starin at my ceiling
might end it all
this evening 
starin at my ceiling~

i been tryna make it
but i dont think that i can
sittin by lonesome
only sound is the ceiling fan
i want to explain myself
but they wouldnt understand...

but thats okay
cuz it doesnt really matter
take another hit
get higher than a ladder
yeah

da da da da da

lifes been stealin all my feelins...
got me feelin different...

down another coffee
and keep on fuckin walking
inside my tired mind 
im tired all the time
and tired of the lies

and i hate this fuckin life
just wanna close eyes
and watch it fly by...
yeah watch it fly

staring at my ceiling, listening to the fan [+Boyfifty & Gabe Lucas]

dercept slaps

lyrics:
hmu again and your fuckin faded
never learn my lesson
guess im fuckin jaded
open up the message and your almost naked...
wait...wut?

hate the way you treated me
think i left a piece of me
somewhere in your bed
where we used to meet...

i should let this phone
pick it up, dont say a thing
look at what you do to me
i cant even think...

take another pill
cuz ion wanna feel
too much, 
too much x3
too much x3
too much x3

baby you're talkin way too much
my brain is turning all to mush
ur love used to gimme such a rush
now im takin pills as a crutch...

now im taking pills....

take another pill
cuz ion wanna feel
too much, 
too much x3
too much x3
too much x3

i dont wanna feel too much
cuz i feel disgusted every time we touch
and i hate it when you're here
but i hate it when you're gone
ill just down another pill even though i know its wrong

ill just down another pill even though i know its wrong
i been thinkin' way too much 
but i think i need you gone...
yeah i think i need you...gone

Spotify Pre-Save

too much ! [+dercept x ayoley]

</3

lyrics:

it feels like
everybody fuckin hates me
and they're always so quick to replace me
ion even blame them..
im a fuck up and all i do is cause pain...
pain....
pain...

and i hate my life if im really being honest
im just a monster chillin in a closet
wish i could get myself together
nothin' ever changes but the weather
and i cant take a look at myself cuz i hate em
that reflection staring back man i fuckin hate him...
and i swear to god that im not overreacting 
falling apart all the time is very taxing on my head
i cant ever get ahead
cuz life fuckin hates me...especially lately...

nobody out there could ever save me
i been screaming at the top of my lungs
cant somebody out there make me feel alive?
alive? 

and i hate my life if im really being honest...

cuz life fuckin hates me
especially lately...

life. [+irby & jolst]

@kasperfell

lyrics:
[kanashi]
you brought me in
and tore me down
why rob the bank when you can burn it down?
should've kept my distance
but its too late now

shed my skin until its gone
mean nothing to you, just a pawn
takin' pills until the dawn
the dawn...
i cant take much more of this
im torn apart like a bloody wrist
i clench my fist and take it down
in this spirit i will drown
i will drown...
i lost my will long ago
should've never given you control
control...
control...

[kasper]
its just the way im feelin like!
never gonna let you go
im always gonna keep you here
baby we can take it slow
time stands still
is this real?
i cant feel you anymore...
never gonna let you go...
im always gonna keep your here
baby we can take it slow
its just the way im feelin like!
its just the way im feelin like!

control (Kanashi x Kasper Fell) [+klimlords]

prod. dercept
mix master by me 

lyrics:
every time i think that im doing better
you just come along and ruin it like the weather
i guess ill take another one down
its the only thing that helps me now...

i dont wanna talk baby, i dont wanna talk
pop another pill so i dont feel shit at all
i take it for the trauma and i take it for the lies
i take it so that i might forget those eyes
tell myself i dont need you at all
but i still pick up when you call
take another one and tell you that im down
let you fuck up my life every time that you're in town...

i dont know why im so fuckin weak
i let you in and it ruins everything
i dont know why you do this shit to me
i dont know why i always let you make me bleed...

take my heart i dont fuckin want it back
take another pill, watch me fade to black
im sorry that im not enough
like the oxygen inside my blood

"hit me up again and you're fuckin faded
never learn my lesson, guess im fuckin jaded
open up the message and your almost naked..."
wait...?

i dont wanna talk baby, i dont wanna talk
pop another pill so i dont feel shit at all
i take it for the trauma and i take it for the lies
i take it so that i might forget those eyes
tell myself i dont need you at all
but i still pick up when you call
take another one and tell you that im down
let you fuck up my life every time that you're in town...

too much p.2 [+dercept]

all of mine (forever)

all platforms Friday. 
Lyrics:
yeah thats right its another track
about how i hate myself
and wanna end my life
i swear i wont take up
more than 2:30 seconds of your time

yeah its been this way a long ass time
i remember i was 7
i asked my mom why am i alive?
if im just gonna die? 

i never for asked for this
i didn't wanna be born
livin or dyin man i am so torn
i dont mean to be so fuckin morbid
im just so tired of the same old shit


yeah, day after day
i have to put on a fake ass happy face
its like a mask i never get to put away
time after time they tell me that its alright
when i open up and tell em whats inside
they dont really understand how much ive tried...

and no i dont wanna talk to you
but i swear my heart's not black its painted blue
its just so much safer all alone up in my room

da da da da da da...

khappyface [+everestdidthis]

time and time again [+sorrow bringer]

bad day !

dissociate 'till im under the ground [+dercept]

untitled...

the best of me could never do...

la la la...

@svnam 
AMV On Biteki!
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1VJMzlObr9Jerl5fX9aHv6?si=hH4bbMCoTde26ynkYf0oWg
Lyrics: 

(Kanashi) 
i cant write a song thats not about you
told me that you loved me
but that was not true
i hope what you did to me
still haunts you
come and find me dead
wrists slit in the bathroom

i dont wanna feel nothin'
i just wanna die soon
find me laying there
eyes wide open like a cartoon

yeah you cut me deep
wear these scars like a tattoo
tattoo
yeah you cut me deep
wear these scars like a tattoo

(Svnam)
ice on my wrist
can't believe i wasted time on you
two doors
got me feeling suicidal
haunt you like a phantom
play me like recital
practice makes perfect
you were cute
but i don't think you were worth it
trauma in my headspace
fracturing my memory
hope it tears apart
just to forget all you did to me

you keep telling me you're sorry
but darling
it's kinda hard to hear you
when i'm six feet deep in our memories
bury me, bury me, you buried me

i know i'll come back to haunt you
so bury me as deep as you can
& run away as fast as you can

scars & tattoos (w/svnam) (prod. jody)

in defense of the wolf

pre-save this song on spotify! it helps a ton ! <3 https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/kanashi/gtf-away-from-me-feat-onlyfriend

@onlyfriendyeah
prod. metlast

(kanashi)
i been down bad, bad
a panic attack away from living out a backpack
yes, im high af you aint even gotta ask that
ppl say they love me but i know they be lying
brain explodes every time you fuckin imply it
and i dont wanna hear that shit
no no, i never had a truthful friend
and thats the end of it

yeah i dig myself to the depths again
question my very existence
and this pain up in my head
it paints my thoughts a shade of red

this existence, yeah you know its fuckin narcissistic 
cuz i only exist to hurt
a trail of dead bodies left in the dirt

and i leave pain in my wake
every single word that leaves my brain...
so full of vindication...pushing them away...

(onlyfriend)
feels like i been this way from the start
just keep your distance as i fall apart
get it off of my chest
hard to breathe through this stress
every word that they say
platitudes and charades

because hell is other people, if not myself
i don't wanna fuck with anyone else
and there's nothing you can say to change it

gtf away from me w/ onlyfriend [+metlast]

sofuckingtired

all an illusion (ft. Killing Art)

prod. johnnyfriend

spotify pre save! https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/kanashi/flat-
lyrics:

and u try to talk to me 
but ur words fall flat
like the half empty coke
on the other side of my bed

and it seems like every thought of you
has left my head
fuck im so glad i left you in the past
its so much easier to see without this mask
every step i took was like walking on glass
sometimes to find urself u gotta take a different path

yeah fuck you!
u were never there for me
and i know im breaking down constantly
but u promised me 
that didnt bother you at all
and man this makes me feel so small
and it hurts so bad to know u never cared at all

so now im on my fuck you shit!!
down so bad i might as well make a show of it!
and u said u cared, well prove it
u acquire hearts and then u use them
say your sorry, u must think im stupid!
u are so goddamn deluded!!

Kanashī

Pinned to spotlight

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