Gonna try and make this 28 hours at one point

main stuff I listen to

<//3

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater
lyrics:

i don't think that i feel it
my stomach can't heal it
my heart i warn you
surround me i turn blue
you doubt me you flew
you drowning in sloot
my heart break in 2
im ready to die
cos i left ur side
i kick back and cry
this where i resite
i laugh at myself
its good for my health (oh no)
whats that on my the shelf (oh no)
i think its yourself (oh no)

ash blonde hair i need you now
carve my life thru the fields im a tree in the ground
i can't feel my fucking heart so why does it go pound pound pound
i sense you wanna dart, so why
 dont u wannaa stay, now

i can sense the fear ik our loves linear now
feeling like a tree thats never gonna grow; help
beat me black and blue with all the words you spew pal
you could save him now but i don't think he wants you now

heylog:

your pretty little words are meshed and i don't feel them
i'm to the point where i just lost every feeling
i still wouldn't feel a thing if i had a million friends
i'm getting closer everyday to ending it
the sun falls and creeps through my window
it's blinding me, now orange is painted on my walls
the same colour i saw when i fell in love
when i see it again i just can't get enough
can someone end my life, i don't wanna be here at all..
i'm past the part where i care at all
that's when i know shits getting bad
and i wonder how long this'll last

tree w/heylog

produced by heylog

lyrics:
don't u ever talk about me or ur gonna get yourself hurt
i wake up and i'm winning, how does second feel when i'm first
my life might be lame but at least that i'm not lamer
i gotta get goin and i hope to see u never

i'm getting closer and closer
and closer
it's over
cause ima steer off if i keep losing composure
YOU'RE GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER
AND CLOSER
IT'S OVER IT'S OVER
if u ever talk about me boy ur gonna get ur ego hurt
how does second feel when i'm consistently just placing first
maybe you'll reflect from your mistakes just how i have learned
we are not the same cause u are opposite of down to earth

i have fun, i don't need a beer
u talk and it goes out my ear
my hair smells like tobacco smoke
puff cigars, the bands maduro
she's wasted while i'm cookin heat
(damn son)
i can't talk i'm making a beat
can't text, i'm sweating down my chin
pump iron, bumping 2hollis

now don't you ever talk about me or ur gonna get urself hurt
wake up and i'm winning, how does second feel when i'm first
my life might be lame but at least that i'm not lamer
i gotta get going and i hope to see u never

spotify

maduro

produced by heylog

lyrics:
when i burn in fire
you gave a hand
i'll try not to let go
she understands
nothing is more beautiful
than your demand
i thank u for being
so delicate

i'll decide ur demeanor to me
no ambition it was never easy
on the highway he finally came clean
how the hell could you do that to me
i thought u were my bestfriend
cus i know that they don't cut ur back
text and i won't answer, get on read
don't play w my emotions i'm so delicate
so delicate

when i burn in fire 
u gave a hand
but i might just let go
and she understands
nothing is more beautiful
than your demand
i hope i treated you
better than him

walking outside notice autumnal leaves
yellow and red and a few orangish trees
the air is fresh when i'm jogging thru this subdivision
my legs hurt.. take breath heavily
run by three deer on my right
they look at me like i'm threatening their life
the parents are guarding their fawn
sometimes i wish family could be us

autumn

produced by heylog

lyrics:
I COULD DISINTEGRATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES
AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHETHER IF I WAS DEAD OR ALIVE
NOW THEIR EYES WIDEN LIKE IT'S SOME SORT OF SURPRISE
I WAS JUST TESTIN TO SEE IF IT CROSSED YOUR MIND

in the eventide it's cold 
as i'm right beside the woods
every bug is now buzzing
in a forest, in a bush
it's that time to hibernate
animals retreat from the north
toward the south to migrate
winter streets get quickly worn
DESCEND INTO YOUR SOUL
BLOOD DRAWING FROM MY SKULL
WOULD YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
YOU REAP WITH WHAT YOU SOW
examining your mind
hope to intertwine
oh everything aligns
beside you feeding me with lies

pokin thru the light and lost all them
being used as your personal vent
if u keep it up i might just dip
cus the words u say leave me in dents
i set my expectations way too high
it kinda sucks but i'll let this one slide
i gotta regroup and resupply
quit tryna fool me i see right through ur eyes

I COULD DISINTEGRATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES
AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHETHER IF I WAS DEAD OR ALIVE
NOW THEIR EYES WIDEN LIKE IT'S SOME SORT OF SURPRISE
I WAS JUST TESTIN TO SEE IF IT CROSSED YOUR MIND
BUT IT DIDN'T 
I SEE YOU'RE TRYNA PRY YOUR WAY INTO MY BUSINESS
YOU'LL NEVER GET IN
EVERY YEAR THE CIRCLE SHRINKS AND IT THICKENS
IT ALWAYS THICKENS

pause

she wonders why i always hangout in the dark
idk bruh just chilling playing guitar
oh it was all my fault
didn't know committing to a girl would be hard
so i should really focus on my bread
there's never a balance, music till i go to bed
baby i'm far too gone
bags under my eyes i didn't sleep until dawn

you'll never get it

disintegrate

produced by heylog

lyrics:
i hate to say i forced myself thinking that you were sweet
but ur a monster, didn't know that you were a freak
lock me out from you and throw away the keys
i won't let you get any closer to me
put my hand on her leg and feel the ridges and scars
i feel afraid you might bury my body under tarp
so dig a grave for 2 people and make sure it is large
you're coming with, i won't die alone or we could restart

i'm not gonna bother you anymore
pulling my collar, pulling out thorns
it was an honor climbing aboard
somebody watch her out on the floor
i'm not gonna bother you ever again
pulling my collar right back where it is
i tried my hardest to help you get fixed
wasn't for long until you relapsed

say does your father know you been out
if i was him you'd have curfew, no doubt
i just want you safe getting back to the house
cause nowadays it's brutal all around
don't hold on 
to my hand
just let go now
find a man
don't look back
not a glance
as i'm crushed by
an avalanche
don't know why you'd say that
you're gonna get pay back
looking at a photo could you possibly get phased at
drinking at a club
i thought you were done
she said, "i stayed away"
but bro it's been a month
i don't wanna hate
i just never drink
you could say i'm boring all you want but i'm not phased
i don't make excuses
i simply do not do it
don't wanna see my life fall into a ruin

i'm not gonna bother you anymore
pulling my collar, pulling out thorns
it was an honor climbing aboard
somebody watch her out on the floor
i'm not gonna bother you ever again
pulling my collar right back where it is
i tried my hardest to help you get fixed
wasn't for long until you relapsed

repeat

produced by heylog

lyrics:
we went through a lot of ups and downs
yet you still stayed close to my side
we often dug straight to the ground
you don't know what i look like now
just a number in my phone
i'll love you the most
march is a horrible month
why's it always cold
spent the end to cry
i miss you every night
don't call me when you see this
i'll hit decline
i don't look the same
as i used to
is this a bad thing
log, i don't know you
i don't look the same
like before
and i don't recognize myself
anymore

2 weeks 'till i go home
can't wait to see you, oh
october is when you go
now things are coming to
an end

she'll only love me if i just love myself
but baby with you i felt things i don't feel
i couldn't imagine to feel someone else
the thought of it always gets me overwhelmed
i hate separating from people i love
but i go forever without anyone
i will go for days and not say any words
you won't hear from me cause i sit back and lurk
closing the drapes to block out any light
the things that i do i would never advise
it's so bad for me and hm, i wonder why
growing more acne and i'm not surprised
don't look at me, please don't look at my face
the way that you stare makes me humiliate
i swear i get uglier
i don't look the same
you won't recognize me by how much i've changed
changed

update failed

produced by heylog

lyrics:
fiending
oh you're always fiending
for something to catch a feeling
no, you don't take it easy
you're grieving
deleting
cause ur not receiving 
the guy who gives you meaning
it just ends up depleting
you need me

my hair is getting longer and mom says i need to cut it off
today i'm gonna pull it back or maybe i should let it fall
or maybe i should let it fall

my hair is getting longer and mom says i need to cut it off
today i'm gonna pull it back or maybe i should let it fall
i'm looking at the pane and see a kid i don't recognize at all
you think i'm in a crisis but this is my life inside a ball
but i am not the one to be crying over some bullsh-
i'm trying to be a man for a girl who is the purist
and i believe that's only achieved through work and purpose
but at the very end of the day it'll be worth it
so what'd you say you come tag along to a journey
i'll be your protector, you won't have to worry
will you believe in me if i focus and try
i'll do what it takes to give you a better life

i assume your brain still has developing to do
no one cares about my feelings and neither do you
only difference i don't post them, you fiend off replies
absorbing it like energy to mentally survive
you're fiending
oh you're always fiending
for something to catch a feeling
no, you don't take it easy
you're grieving
deleting
because you're not receiving
the guy who gives you meaning
it just ends up depleting
you need me
the letters i would write
could form into a book
when turning every page
seem to be overlooked
so when you read the words
imagine you are me
tearing paper
and grinding your teeth

oh i was always there
too bad i ain't here
go cry, well life ain't fair
it's not like i don't care
but oh my, i'm bad at saying no
but i don't wanna be a problem if i'm holding on
oh my, now you wanna complain
baby i'm not gonna put up with that for very long
for long

teeth II

produced by heylog 

lyrics:
I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY
notice how it falls in deeper
deeper
oh, it goes deeper
know that i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer
EVERYTHING'S ABOUT YOU AND THE REST
BUT I GOT TO GO WITHOUT YOU CAUSE IT'S BEST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL CROSS PATHS SOMEWHERE ELSE
I HATE THAT THESE THOUGHTS ARE WHERE I DWELL

notice how i fall in deeper
deeper
oh, i go deeper
baby, i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer

𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵
𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘪 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭

i don't say enough prayer
or kneel beside the bed
i ask on some nights
to see you again
i didn't find anything
or see any signs
unless they were right in front of me this whole time
i hate that all of my friends
live so far away
it's very lonely
and it's so cliche
i like thinking of you
i do it a lot
why give attention to something that's forever gone?

I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY

healer

produced by heylog

lyrics:
SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FACE AND SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIES
IT'S GIVING ME THIS HATE THAT I CANNOT SUBSIDE
DON'T EXPECT ME TO SAY ANYTHING TO YOU
WE'RE THROUGH
SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FACE AND SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIES
IT'S GIVING ME THIS HATE THAT I CANNOT SUBSIDE
DON'T EXPECT ME TO SAY ANYTHING TO YOU
WE'RE THROUGH
YOU'RE SO DISRESPECTFUL TOWARD ME IN RETURN
YOU ACTUALLY EXPECTED I WOULD COME TO TERMS
AFTER YOU TURNED YOUR BACK
DID YOU CARE I WAS HURT
I'M HURT
I WON'T EVER TAKE OR SEE YOU SERIOUS
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME LATELY NOW YOU'RE CURIOUS
LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE I WANT NO ONE AT ALL
I'M ALL I GOT
look at me when ur afraid
everything u see is grey
I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE
WHAT YOU PUT ON ME, IT GAVE
AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHO I WAS THEN AND WHAT I AM NOW
CAUSE I WAS SO STUPID BACK THEN, NOW I'M CONSTANTLY RAISING A BROW

something about your face and something about your eyes
that fumes me everyday and charges up inside
oh you built up this hate and beef i have with you
we're through

afraid

writing & production: Jane Remover
additional guitars & bass: Douglas Dulgarian
mixing: Kayla Reagan
mastering: Hector Vega
cover art: Brendon Burton

Census Designated

Lips

Buy/Save

produced by heylog

lyrics:
can't u ever be nice
you don't have to think twice
in the moment each time that i run away
in the end it's your fault
really gave you my all
u don't have to be a problem toward me anyway

there's much more to life than going out
spend saturday night dead on the ground
𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵
I HIGHLY DOUBT YOUR FATHER'S EVEN PROUD
JUST ANOTHER WHORE FOLLOWING THE CROWD
broken glass, the bottles enticing
she told me her sign is a pisces
𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
do i look like someone who even cares
𝘯𝘰 𝘨𝘰𝘥
you and i would never pair
already off on the wrong path
ur such an idiot, hope you know that
i used to find you cute but now ur trash
you can change but na you can't change ur past
text me, on your end it's open
but you don't know it
you don't know i ghosted
for once, take accountability
always excuses, please
you are disgust to me
there’s much more to life than blacking out
spend almost every weekend on the ground
i smell the alcohol stench in ur mouth
there ain’t a single to be proud of

can't u ever be nice
you don't have to think twice
in the moment each time that i run away
in the end it's your fault
really gave you my all
u don't have to be a problem toward me anyway
𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘦
𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦

trash

writing & production: Jane Remover
additional guitar & bass: Douglas Dulgarian
mixing: Kayla Reagan
mastering: Hector Vega
cover art: Brendon Burton

Fling

Holding a Leech

Backseat Girl

Video

writing & production: Jane Remover
additional guitar & bass: Douglas Dulgarian
additional synths: Kale Itkonen
mixing: Kayla Reagan
mastering: Hector Vega
cover art: Brendon Burton

Idling Somewhere

writing & production: Jane Remover
mixing: Kayla Reagan
mastering: Hector Vega
cover art: Brendon Burton

Cage Girl / Camgirl

Always Have Always Will

music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4DwV8J9wzA
writing & production: Jane Remover
mixing: Kayla Reagan
mastering: Hector Vega
cover art: Brendon Burton

guitars done by @prodjpjp
rest produced by heylog

lyrics:
starving now, it gets pretty bad
you saw it all get split in half
about every bridge has been collapsed
old friends of mine slowly detached
i think it's all my fault
questioning if i'm wrong
how do i make it stop
can't rest at all

one call was all i needed
right now, i feel completed
2019 is over
been four years and got lower
though, for me it stood out
bleed to just hear one sound
i'd die to hear that noise
the calmness of your voice
i knew how it'd turn out
soon you'd be leaving town
and i couldn't bare that thought
was hard to move on
32 degrees, lungs get colder by the second
been through hell and out
it's like there's some type of obsession
wondering the choice you made if you've ever regret it
if you gotta say something why don't you come confess it
everytime you mention how, i need to find me
don't know what ur tryna say
don't know what u mean
i think ur just saying words
you're just saying things
even you confuse yourself
you don't know what to think
the reason why i live is to hope for a day
to finally see guidance leading ur way
wonder how to start, wonder where i go
all of it requires leaving my home
been through a bit and so much has gone
you don't gotta be sorry if i went through a lot
i can see us starting a family
i think it's the only thing that'll help me

starving now, it gets pretty bad
you saw it all get split in half
about every bridge has been collapsed
old friends of mine slowly detached
i think it's all my fault
questioning if i'm wrong
how do i make it stop
can't rest at all
heart's pounding strong
been up for hours
the sun's almost up
like how do i do it
she say, "where you been"
no where
just haven't checked my phone to use it
it's all gone down in carnage
debris in my lungs
wake up, feel like garbage
and get my yeti cup
i'm obsessed, pop a can of caffeine
even 300mg can barely do a thing to me

main stuff I listen to

✧Kanato