Lyrics, Main Riffs & Second Voice by : Ahasuerus  
Performance & First Voice by : Kanttila 

Labors of Larry Pine
A nerdy dude fighting for our rights
Peasants and royalty, rampant inequality
and he don't think that that is right

Labours of Larry Pine 
He's cooler than advertised 
Eye of the tiger, he is the wind 
He moves so fast he makes your head spin 

and I will win
and I will be king
and I will beat Valerie 
and I will make myself free

Beat the queen or kill the dame 
She's a princess with a tricky face
She inspires loyalty, moves like royalty
and everyone knows her name

Labour of Larry Pine 
They ain't easy but he's got a plan 
Go on the missions, crush all the competition 
and tell Valeria to talk to his hand 

and I will win
and I will be king
and I will beat Valerie 
and I will make myself free  

Labors of Larry Pine 
He's cooler than advertised 
Messes with loyalty, screws with royalty 
and everyone knows his name

The Labors Of Larry Pine (Feat. Ahasuerus)

She greets the world with a gloved hello, skipping on her boots below   
Where she goes nobody knows, a twin tailed smiles all that shows  
Evil plans, evil plans on her rosey cheeks 
Evil plans, evil plans this scenario reeks 

Does she vitiligo, are her nails are unpainted oh no    
Germaphobe it's possible, the weirdest girl in Ontario   
Think fast, think fast after she's passed 
Think fast, think fast and here at last 

I've figured out her plans, of why she hides her hands 
That smother victims dead, this is where my theories lead 

Anything that appears as weird, must be something to be feared 
Even if you open the door, I know you have more in store 
Nothing can be as it seems, even cute girls have their schemes 
I'm sure this is how it works, a hyper mind has it's perks                               

She greets the world with a gloved hello, skipping on her boots below   
Where she goes nobody knows, paranoina grows

Gloved Hello

Lyrics by Kanttila w/ Simon, Matt & Brian 

Mr. Steak for when you make a mistake and have to barbecue 
Your family 

She sent him our for napkin rings 
Who even knows those kinda things 
He bought the wrong ones, but his wife said it was fine 

But Mr. Steak can't make mistakes so he barbecued his wife 
The neighbhours came for a BBQ so he had to take their lives 

In the kerfuffle, knocked over the grill 
Now the police, fire and news spill 
All the exposure, just more for the dying   

Mr. Steak must cover up his mistakes now that word of mouth is flying  
From Town to County, City to Valley, everyone is frying 

The number of victims is starting to gain 
Does he need charcoal or propane 
He's adding some spices, and a hint of lime 

Mr. Steak! 
Why did you have to kill your family? 
Mr. Steak! 
You didn't have to but you did n 

Mr. Steak has barbecued all of America 
Like a Dad he sighs 
Planning out his world tour 
and Ontario, it's time! 

Mr. Steak had to kill but his barbecue could no longer grill 
So he sets his sights on the sun, now his job is done  

Mr. Steak for when you make a mistake and have to murder our planet 
Mr. Steak for when you make a mistake and have to murder our planet

The Tragedy Of Mr. Steak

They say Columbus discovered the coffee shop, I know this is a lie 
At Dunkin's I'd sunked Canadian pride, and slurped Yank brew inside  

The lid was shocking and my face was barfing, Tim I'd let you down 
This eagle fuel couldn't fly high enough to rule, anything higher than a frown 

America runs on lies, only good at burgers and fries 
America can't beat Tims, Dunkin's can roll up the rim 

Nebraska Furniture Mart really blew my mind, with the Desert Eagle from Cabela's 
Home for so long maybe my view was wrong, but Dunkin's said I was right all along 

Joe's BBQ was fine as a KC girl's shine, Tim I'd let you down 
But this coffee cup just ain't the stuff, I knew we're still the best around  

America runs on lies, only good at burgers and fries 
America can't beat Tims, Dunkin's can roll up the rim 

America runs on lies, only good at steak and fries 
America can't beat Tims, Dunkin's can roll up the rim 
You can do things better than us, but I'll throw you under the bus 
You're full of snot and puss, if you think there's a prog band better than Rush

America Runs On Lies

Rolling down the highway with the force of a thousand guns 
Chiyomi like Mussolini got her spagetthi on the run 
Down on the Missouri side a station wagon roams 
One table left at IHOP for a single party alone

Not even American, but that's the plan for her 
The cultural experience this tourist prefers

I need my pancakes, get out of my way 
I'll make your back ache, in the International House Of Pain

Throw this girl in Leavenworth, she's caused quite a scene 
Tipping cows not waiters and drinking like a fiend 
The Midwest station wagon will shut this coward down 
But never doubt a woppino who's hungry with a frown

At IHOP I was offended, at the Swedish crepes 
They're actually Finnish pancakes that my Grandma makes

and now I'm mad, I was telling a story 
But this is gory, in the International House Of *fuh* 

I need my pancakes, get out of my way 
I'll make your back ache, the House Of Pain!

International House Of Pain

I thought the world moved at my pace 
I thought I had more time to waste 
But as it's clear I've stuck here in this place

I thought someone would wait for me 
I thought I'd overcome insecurity 
Now I find I'd cemented my mind on what to be

I don't know love, I don't know love 
I don't know love, and I don't think that I ever will

I thought it'd always be the same 
I thought nothing of stupid games 
So it seems truth in my dreams can't lie

It's not that I'm unlovable 
Just we seem too destructible 
Pain and heartbreak for one's sake, that's not cool

I don't know love, I don't know love 
I don't know love, and I don't think that I ever will

Pain I just don't, ever want to feel 
Change I just don't, ever seem to want to make

I Don't Know Love

I 4 35 Exit 17, Missouri
From a high fly Toronto plane, with no worry
I drive my own personal highway, to a land I bought out right
But here in the KC county, something ruins my sight

It's real American garbage, spilling on the ground like porridge
Real American garbage, my landscape is tarnished

Endless corn grows to the left, and mighty farms are on our right
On the Northwest Barry road, these are the first sights
Tires blown and litter thrown, all over the ground
Rotting away Midwest decay, Truman starts to frown

At real American garbage, spilling on the ground like porridge
Real American garbage, my landscape is tarnished

Out on a Kansas road, saw the words Yang Ming
On a truck of unknown origin, that was littering
Could that be a Danish name, Lativan, Croatian or from Spain
Giving the Swedes benefit of the doubt, but really this is all about
Garbage!

2 Litres full of Apple juice, flying on the highway excused
From the truck titled Yang Ming, can't assume it's an Asian thing
You never know with folks these days, crazy for something to slay
They should focus on real issues, that require more tissues

Like real American garbage, spilling on the ground like porridge
Real American garbage, my landscape is tarnished
There's real American garbage, turning the land to a carcass
Real American garbage, the highway's not your storage

Real American Garbage

One lone spec in a city of lights 
Disguised by her toque and fear 
Fixes her bangs long as the night 
To hide her shifity eyes that peer 
At people living bold and brass 
The bonds of life are undone for now 
Watch us run to something unclear 
Here today but I don't know how 
To enjoy this moment as it disappears  
Tonight it's the Kusokawa Party 
Alright  

Looking for segments to replay 
In her head she thinks up some  
They haven't happened yet but one day 
She'll be able to reflect on what's been done 
The fireworks you can never miss 
The country club is forever 
The country club can never die

Country Club

I think, life can never be normal 
Never was, it's all in a balance formal 
The brain has it's way of keeping things sane 
Don't go against the natural grain 
If you misplace elements 
It takes a bit to adapt to it

I, I don't want anything to change 
But everyday, it only gets more strange 
My city doesn't look the same it did 
When I saw less as a thoughtless kid 
Nature will always shift 
No matter how the tides drift

Don't disrupt the natural order, madness is where we border 
Don't disrupt the day to day, sadness is just a change away

Winds, that brought us here 
Shift, everything we hold dear 
The brain has it's way of keeping things sane 
Don't go against the natural grain 
If you misplace elements 
It takes a bit to adapt to it

Don't disrupt the natural order, madness is where we border 
Don't disrupt the day to day, sadness is just a change away 
Where is my face, in the tomorrow I wanna see 
Don't disrupt the natural order, madness is where we border

Natural Order

Home for a long time, I see the sun shine 
Over the cold shield corn fields 
It can't stay for long, nothing's forever 
I'm thinking how this can be better  

Lives change, I guess that's so 
I might be different, I don't really know 
I only want the basics 
I live in constant stasis    

It doesn't matter what it is we have 
We just want what we can't grab 
Maybe I'll get there, maybe I don't care  
Lie to myself, get nowhere  

Lives change, I guess that's so 
I might be different, I don't really know 
I only want the basics 
I live in constant stasis   

This face says something, that I can't see 
I'd like to know what you think of me 
Am I in the thoughts of anybody ever 
Surely the answer ain't never  

Lives change, I guess that's so 
I might be different, I don't really know 
Looking out my backyard  
Looking out my backyard

Backyard

Oh no, I've opened the door 
I'm not ready, for what's in store   
I might, let someone on my grounds 
Or I'll, just shoot somebody down    

You know you know you know  
I complain endlessly 
You know you know you know  
I self analyze tirelessly  

Matador! Matador! 
Matador! Matador!   
What do I do! 
What do I do!  
Matador! Matador!  

Well I, shouldn't have a fear 
But you, never know what's out here 
Safer just to stay inside 
Beneath the black sheets I hide   

You know you know you know   
I complain endlessly 
You know you know you know   
I self analyse tirelessly  

Matador! Matador!   
Matador! Matador! 
You won't break down the door!  
You can't break down the door! 
Matador! Matador!

Matador!

I'm looking for something, you know 
Looking for something, beautiful 
Looking for something, unclear 
Fog fills the atmosphere 
Her old book, on the beach  
In the old park, where the French 
Traded fur, made beaver hats  
Phantoms of a million chats  

There are zero singing doves 
On the winding trees above  
Sheets of Canadan Sanomat   
Lay on the ground as my world goes flat     

I’m looking around, no one 
Looking around, no sun 
Hear nothing, but me 
The breeze hits feathery 
Walking along, as the breeze 
Dies down, seconds freeze 
Bread crumbs, remain 
But the birds ain't on this plain  

I want to find her 
I want to know if she does exist 
I want to find her  
Another chance I've missed    

There are zero singing doves 
On the winding trees above  
Air like Turun Sinappi   
In the skies that pity me  

I want to find her 
I want to know if she does exist 
I want to find her   
Another chance I've missed    

Zero singing doves 
On the winding trees above 
Zero singing doves 
Singing songs of love

Zero Singing Doves

Smokes big cigars, balls in casino bars  
Watch out for JFK, he’ll blow your island away 
A Canadian lady, her snapback smooth as gravy 
What’s she doing in Havana, dropping bombs like Santa 
To Fidel in the corner, plotting his dairy cow order 
Trudeau’s wife flies in, that’s when the theories begin    

She’s a Rough Rider girl, give that revolver a twirl  

The dead hand of Spain, last possessions to remain 
From Queen Isabella, going Belgian on Stella  
A drunk Queen in the court, run to the airport  
Going to fry up the States, the Rough Riders await    
The decoy explodes, as the plane hits the road         
The Trade Federation, plots her assassination                                                              

It’s the Jango girl, in that Kamino swirl                                      

Don’t move Jedi, I’ll shoot you’ll bet I 
Might lose my head when my gauges go red   
The banana lightsaber man, fights a goblin and then 
Speeds into space before he gets defaced 
Back in Cuba, I hope you practiced scuba 
She hides in Castro’s tub as he gives himself a scrub

Jingo Girl

Written/Performed By : Kanttila

LYRICS

When the red clouds lift from the skyline 
The place called home is no longer mine! 
We fought for so long to protect 
Now everything we've fought for is wrecked 
and when the night fades I know you'll be by my side 
I'll wipe all your tears in lonesome you cried

Hold heart, hold heart, we've passed the worst part 
Rebuild, rebuild, no longer our good men will be killed 
We'll start a new life, somewhere better than here 
We'll start a new life, when the ashes clear

A shining bridge stayed on the horizon 
A heroes deed echoed through the forest shining 
and when the day breaks I'll no longer be cold 
This sense of duty was all I was told!

Hold heart, hold heart, we've passed the worst part 
Rebuild, rebuild, no longer our good men will be killed 
We'll start a new life, somewhere better than here 
We'll start a new life, when the ashes clear

If anything I don't want to forget 
If anything just don't forget!

Hold heart, hold heart, we've passed the worst part 
Hold heart, hold heart, we've passed the worst part 
We'll start a new life, somewhere better than here 
We'll start a new life, when the ashes clear

Bridge By The Sun

Written/Performed By : Kanttila 

LYRICS 

Don’t you wish you had someone you could walk with 
and talk with 
Don’t you wish you had someone you could be with, 
Believe in, and even see tonight 
Even see tonight 

Don’t you wish you had someone you could hold tight, 
Shine bright 
Don’t you wish you had something that felt real, 
Would reveal, truth to your ideal 
Truth to your ideal 

But the rain clouds are falling, 
and you know you are stalling 
Soon there will be nothing, nothing, 
Nothing left for you 
Nothing left for you 

Don’t you wish you had someone who could tell you, sell you 
Much needed validation that it's alright, life is bright 
and you can be together tonight 

Nothing left for you! 
Nothing left for you! 
Nothing left for you! 
Nothing left for you!

Nothing Left For You

Written/Performed By : Kanttila 

LYRICS 

Aika, I really like ya 
Let me in the scene 
Suwa, I feel brand new 
Please be here in my dream 

Good day, let me capture this moment 
Good pay, it just prints itself 
I say, let me be there with you 
Right here, today 

I wanna be in your book 
I wanna be in your photo book 
Just take a look 
It's us in your photo book 

Don't tell me, don't tell me 
It's just for an act 
Don't tell me, don't tell me 
I want what I lack! 

AiNA, I'm tryna finda 
Meaningful connection today 
AYUNi, it's-a-cooky 
How do we get to feel this way 

Good day, in every single page 
Good way, the image never fades 
I find, my ideal in your eyes 
I'm blind, to what your gaze hides 

I wanna be in your book 
I wanna be in your photo book 
Just take a look 
It's us in your photo book 

Don't tell me, don't tell me 
It's just for an act 
I just fill, I just fill 
Everything I lack! 

This feeling is really insane 
How it makes your image reign 
Feel you're a million feet tall 
I don't wanna feel it anymore! 

I wanna shred your book 
I wanna shred your photo book 
Don't you even look 
I'm gonna shred your photo book

(I Wanna Be In) Your Photobook

Written/Performed By : Kanttila 

LYRICS  

Ring ring, this is life how ya doin'?    
Wait for what I'm Boston Brewin'            
No sweet stuff for the Saunawop  
Graph the speed my hope drops 
Waking up I feel like not much 
Need my montage, need the touch        

I live for something 
I live for me 
I live for someone  
I've yet to see      

Oh ya your face is unsightly 
Because you just shine too brightly   
You smile I die, blah! 
...see that wasn't a lie! 
I'm just a Kanadan Poika   
Cook me up some Kalamojakka           

I live for something 
I live for me 
I live for someone    
I've yet to see     

Oh girl make my heart go CLANG 
It's pretty easy it's strange        
How a spark can make me run away  
Can I tell me when is my "One Day"?        
Girl make my heart go boom 
If you're out there, it ain't too soon

Kalamojakka

Written/Performed By : Kanttila 

LYRICS  

Here's a girl, a candy sweet girl 
Her waist could drip sand, I'm in the palm of her hand 
I'd love this girl, this very pretty girl   
If not for that blasted personality flaw     

I have these qualities, perfect qualities 
Like a firm sense of me and my reality  
You'd love this boy, this quite quality boy   
If not for my blasted personality flaw        

Flaw, wakawakawaka 
Flaw, wakawakawaka 
Flaw, wakawakawaka 
Flaw, wakawakawaka 

Here's a day a very fine day 
The sun so bright, I need not turn on a light 
I'd love this day this very very fine day 
If not for the night that takes it   

Flaw, wakawakawaka 
Flaw, wakawakawaka 
Flaw, wakawakawaka 
Flaw, wakawakawaka 

Her hair could grow strawberries 
She might birth cancer's remedy   
Or maybe even do it on her own 
If not for that finest flaw      
Flaw! Personality flaw!  
Flaw! Personality flaw!

Personality Flaw

Written/Performed By : Kanttila

LYRICS

It's time, for a brand new start 
It's time, to rip myself apart 
When I don't feel so smart, the time comes to kill my heart

Ah, I felt something real 
Oh, but it doesn't fit my ideal! 
If I ever had a chance I'd kneel, just to see what life has concealed

When it feels like a new start, I'm gonna kill my heart 
Just running over what gets me closer 
My old self begins to fall apart, the time comes to kill my heart

Me, I thought I had a clue 
No, there was nothing I knew 
and when the time came for my que, I had no idea what to do

Then, I locked myself away 
Fearing, possible difficult days 
But being shy never pays, when you fall in an endless self made maze

When it feels like a new start, I'm gonna kill my heart 
Just running over what gets me closer 
My old self begins to fall apart, the time comes to kill my heart

Ah, I always, was cautious to no gain 
and now by myself, only I can explain

When, I feel the pain 
When I fear the rain 
To every brand new star 
I just, ugh! I kill my heart!

I Kill My Heart

Written/Performed By : Kanttila

LYRICS

KARJALA!

I put it on the pancake! (Pancake!) 
I put it in the milkshake! (Milkshake!) 
Drink juice with breakfast! (Slurp Slurp!) 
Watch the Young and Restless!

I just wanna feel like the old world 
Make it simple, so simple 
I just want the job and the girl 
Make it simple, so simple

Everyone thinks they know the brightest way 
Everyone thinks it matters what they say 
I don't care for the words that swirl 
I just want a bit of the, bit of the, bit of the Old World!

The older generation! (Laahooo) 
Makes us feel like we can't win! (Oopala) 
But youth culture sucks! 
It's all a bunch of muck!

I just want to feel so much stronger 
No longer, a fool in what I do 
I just want to be the man I have seen 
The idea I can't quite live up to

Everyone thinks they know the brightest way 
Everyone thinks it matters what they say 
I don't care for the words that swirl 
I just want a bit of the, bit of the, bit of the Old World!

(AiNA THE END) 
I know the end is coming to my youthful dream 
I don't care when it comes, it never seems 
It can ever end at this point, but one day it will

Karjala!

I just want a bit of the, bit of the, bit of the Old World!

Relics Of The Old World

Written/Performed By : Kanttila

LYRICS

It's classified information, I can't tell you even if you wanna know 
Classified, classified, classified, classified, operation time to grow 
I've let myself fall for too long 
I've wisened up as my choices where gone

Now I will, kill every force, in the universe, that leads my course 
Kill it all, and throw it away, live again, and start today

I felt like every first time, was the one and only chance 
Missed it, missed it, missed it, missed it now no one wants to dance 
Yet someone held a hand for me 
and I never really wanted to see

Now the time has come to blow that old self to tiny bits 
Burn it, burn it, burn it, burn it, smack myself to new wits 
Only I can change my ways 
and the time is, always today

The Pink Shinigami strings my heart and leads my eyes back to the start 
Now I will only look ahead and I will get, myself out of this dread

Nothing life changing is easy and done so fast 
You gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, wind up and blow past 
All the times you had just barely 
Found greatness in the form of lateness 
Ah! I only have one way to go 
Operation reclaim my life is what will, run this show

Pink Shinigami

Written/Performed By : Kanttila  

LYRICS 

You can believe anything, you can try and believe it  
You may leave you may leave ya, but you'll be back to this armpit 
Aarto and the old boys, gathered here at Robins 
and time is robbing, their days that remain    

That will be, you and me 
Just you wait, you wait and see 
So please, let us live old as them 
Wrinkles from every grin  

Those silly songs remind me, of time we shared together 
It means so much ya, we'll think those days where better 
Aarto and the old boys, Suomalainen at Robins 
If Aarto had a pizza shop, he'd come in wobblin', saying!  

Aarto is the best dough! 
Aarto is the best dough!  
You, you had better believe 
What I want to achieve  

Our roads might split off, we may vanish to each other 
But I hope I hope ya, we can meet every summer  

We'll be, at the last standing Robins 
Old freaks, who can barely eat  
We can barely eat 
We can just about eat

Aarto And The Old Boys

Written/Performed By : Kanttila

LYRICS

There is no time and place for me 
Besides here in this century 
No sentiment for calender's torn 
Before I was even born 
I need someway to go 
What can I do I don't really know 
I might finally get there when 
I use my Thinkrainian 
(Use your Thinkrainian, Use your Thinkrainian)

I got no room for nonsense, I gotta live my life 
I gotta be on my way, it's all I got 
No room for heartaches, just room for life 
I gotta be on my way, I gotta make it through the day

and all the time to think 
Means all the time to act 
But I better do it fast 
All my time will pass

I got no room for nonsense, I gotta live my life 
I gotta be on my way, it's all I got 
No room for heartaches, just room for life 
I gotta be on my way, I gotta make it through the day

New Gate

Written/Performed By : Kanttila 

LYRICS 

A faster heartbeat’s calling, a distant soul is longing 
A stupid brain is stopping, a feathery feelings dropping 
Comfort in the ideal, a touch never to feel 
Red cheeks wish it was real, but it never ever will!                                      

You got me! You got me! But I’ll never get you    
You got me! You got me!      

Naive thoughts are grown, something never shown 
A soft side never known, a cover never blown    
Car radio Elvis tune, will the time come soon  
Nighttime steering wheel croon, please turn gold my Blue Moon!   

You got me! You got me! But I’ll never get you    
You got me! You got me! But I'll never get you 

and I never thought I'd get caught!

She Got Me

Elvis Presley Cover By : Kanttila 
Written By : Leiber & Stoller (1957)

Treat Me Nice (Cover Song)

One man band, making the music of my world because it's fun. 

All songs written & performed by Kanttila unless otherwise noted. 
Profile picture drawn by Ahasuerus

Kurtis Kanttila

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