haven't I told you
that you should wait?
I still feel better
'cause shortcuts make for long delays.

and you know me better
than I'll ever say right to your face.
distant and dreaming,
you just don't fit right in this place.

you still care for me -
I don't know why.

moonlight (demo)

if I tell the truth,
I don't want it to end.

after a year of thought,
I don't want to be friends.

if there's a hook in you,
there's a hook in me. 

if it's a lake you want,
then a lake I will be, for you.

the way you think 
makes me want to destroy you.

after I blew you off,
you should want to destroy me too.

if there's a hook in you,
there's a hook in me too.

if there's a lake you like,
that is where I will be too,

waiting for you,
wading deeper to you.

lake

not content with where you stand,
so you just look at older pictures
of you and me, and she, and we
until you drop dead in your bedroom.

but if I try, I know
I'll always laugh before I choke.
and if I die, I'll know
that I have said all I need before I go.

older pictures

why would I want to do that with you?
it's so dependent on how others react.

maybe I am selfish -
let's just hit the sack.
I'll talk to you later, maybe.

I think I'll understand when I'm older.
I just get so nervous, 
and hide my head inside my hands.

and it never ends - 
it's all in my head.
I guess I'll only sleep when I'm dead.


maybe, I

you were front and center
for quite some time, right here in my mind.
I ran toward the ocean,
as you sat idly by.

I hadn't been swimming
in quite a while.
distractions get better 
each and every time.

sharp teeth and your charm
are fading fast.
warm hands and cold eyes, 
your time has passed.

and if I'm up for some loving
I know where I can go to find you alone,
but what does it matter
if neither of us has grown?

when I am with you, the time moves slow.

and you never stop staring.
I always think that it's right - well, most of the time - 
until we start touching.
something goes wrong in my mind.

when I am with you 
the time moves slow.
we've shared a bed
enough for me to know.
inside my head
the time moves so slow.
I've gotta split
in time for me to grow.

your time has passed

(h)ours

i am cursed
with a fear
of being imperfect
a crippling disease
i'm always
so sorry

what i see
is not 
what i dream
my biggest fear
is falling
away
whether it's me
or you
i don't want
us 
to

cursed

desire is destroying me
once it kept me going, simply
only to keep me unsatisfied
ultimately and constantly

I wonder if I'll ever be content, fully

fill me up 'til I spill over
fill me up 'til I'm gone

eternity sounds exhausting
eternity sounds exhausting to me

spill ('til I'm gone)

why do we have to wear our clothes?
we've seen it all

and why do I want to look at everyone's parts?
maybe I'm just a pervert

pervert

anyone else

barrier

maybe i was, maybe in love once
you tried to capture me in my best light
and keep me for yourself, out of sight
out of sight, and out of mind

maybe i was, maybe in love once
you tried to capture me for your delight
knowing eventually you'd change your mind
i always knew it was not right 

how would i know?

for your delight (voice memo)

what if i told you now that i 
that i don’t care where you go,
no, i don’t care to know.

what if i told you now that i
that i don’t dream what you dream.
in fact, i hardly sleep.

would you think that I’m crazy,
or make me your lady,
or call me your baby?

you know this dream’s really creepin’ me out,
feelin’ my teeth fallin out of my mouth.
you and your hands really freakin’ me out,
puttin’ your fingers inside of my mouth.

what if i told you now that i 
i don’t eat what you eat.
in fact, i’d much rather just drink.

what if i told you now that i
that i will not sleep when you sleep,
‘cause dreamin’ gives me the creeps.

would you think that i’m crazy,
or notice i’m just lazy
‘cause living’s always too crazy for me.

this fuckin’ dream’s really creepin’ me out,
feelin’ my teeth fallin out of my mouth.
your fuckin' hands really freakin’ me out,
putting your fingers all down in my mouth.

and then i wake up and you’re gone -
i cry and cry until the dawn,
and there’s no other way of this house.

no way out just one way in,
no way out just one way in


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