I recorded this song few days after we broke up with my boyfriend. The words were just flowing and I let them. I didn't change much about it because I liked the simplicity of the lyrics and the emotions they referred to. Last week I overdubbed it with a poem by Pablo Neruda - the first one I sent him when I started to learn Spanish - and passages from a letter he sent me when we started dating. And since then, I can't stop listening to it.

The song represents my inability to move on and forget about the concept of being together forever - but with the letter passages interleaved with the music and the words he wrote almost exactly matching the lyrics I sang, the whole song makes me appreciate the cyclical nature of life and how everything seems so interconnected.

Me Gustas Cuando Callas

Moving forward from an end of a very important chapter of one's life is a necessary step - but an incredibly challenging step. It seems like we always want to come back to the few moments in which our hearts opened. The moments in which we experienced pure intimacy and infinite closeness. The moments, which for as long as we are alive will tempt us to come back and experience such closeness once more. And the more we try to forget, the more closer it brings us to our past, the more we want to feel the touch of our former lover, the taste of their lips, the warmth of their embrace, the unhappiness and pain they brought us. To see our own depth through each other's eyes.

The song represents how we can never erase our past and our previous experiences, because they are now part of who we are. We cannot pretend the memories do not exist, because they exist within in us. And no matter how hard it is to live in a world where 'our other half' is no longer around, it is a world which will welcome us to be a part of it, as long as we let it. And sometimes, we will still listen to the songs they showed us, because the songs are now ours as much as they are theirs.

Still Listening To The Songs You Showed Me

Life is full of unexpected encounters. We meet and connect with people at different times of our lives and some of those experiences are so memorable they will stay with us forever. And many times, these close encounters are often shorter than we would like. We have to say goodbye before we have the chance to fall in love. We have to move forward before we have the chance to look back properly and stay in the moment for longer. Sometimes we're seperated by the distance, sometimes by time and sometimes by the circumstances of our lives. We just meet for a brief snapshot of our existence, to change each other's lives forever. For the better.

We will never be able to live through more than just those brief moments of pure connection, however, this does not make our bond any less meaningful. It's the special force of the starry night which makes us stay together in the darkness, our memories like the stars in the night, shining brightly at each other through the empty void of the universe.

Starry Night

Falling in love is beautiful and magical - but it's also incredibly scary. You want to get to know the other person, but you're also scared to see who they really are. What might be hiding behind the spark in their eyes? How close can you get to them before you get completely lost in their beauty and imperfections? Are you really showing them who you are, or are you just painting a picture of a person who you want them to see?

All these questions went through my mind when I met the special person about whom I wrote this song roughly 4 years ago. The closer I thought we were getting, the further I seemed from truly seeing what's hiding behind all the masks he was wearing in his world. And despite all those intimate moments, I never managed to see him whole. All his flaws, all his mistakes, all his pains and fears, I wanted to see it all. I wanted to see him whole. I wanted to know how he felt - but he never let me.  So in the end, we always stayed at the beginning. The magical, exciting beginning when the other person will always remain a perfect illusion. The lover you always desired, the partner you always wanted to marry, the soulmate you always searched for - they can be anything and everything because you never saw them for who they really were. But to truly love someone, you must know them whole - so please be brave and don't be scared to show yourself.

Brave

Creating an online library of poorly-recorded unfinished songs just so I don't forget about them and rerecord them properly at some point of my life.

katka82511