How To Write Popular YA Supernatural Literature AND Defile Your Spirit!

Based on the popular YA novel, Evermore, and aided by countless more like it, I have compiled an easy to read and follow list of rules for writing a popular series and being able to sell out your soul at the same time. Does that sound too convenient? Well, it's unbelievably easy to do if you follow my quick and easy program!

1. Create an 'Outcast' Heroine.

It's important that your primarily female teenage audience can relate to your main character. So whilst you can't have your main character associate herself with being cool, it still has to be obvious to your audience that she totally is. Now, Meyer's approach of the goose-turned Swan-but was really still a goose, Bella, associated herself as 'different' and a 'loner' only to arrive at her new school and be immediately popular and accepted by almost everyone. Noel's method is different yet in a similar spirit. Her protagonist, Ever, was incredibly popular at her old school and has decided to be an outcast because she feels that she can't be accepted due to her psychic gift. She also has the ability to perceive someone's personality through the colours that define them. So instead of aligning herself with the shallow, mean and popular crowd, she aligns herself with the shallow and mean loners.

It’s very important for your protagonists to be 'different' because today's youth despise the sheep mentality and so they all strive to be unique. Since they're all different in almost the exact same way, it is relatively easy to emulate this, with as little effort put into characterization as possible, in your female protagonist.

Like this!

As long as she shows no regard for her clothing, appearance or any kind of interest in giving a shit about anyone but herself she will easily pass with young audiences. It will be her ewniqueness that eventually draws the Perfect Hero to her as opposed to any of the usual elements such as: looks, hygiene, personality or determinable interest in the world outside their own arse.

Please also remember that she probably should be a reader, preferably of Wuthering Heights or Romeo and Juliet and that she should consider everyone around her to have inferior intelligence despite the fact that her reading repertoire extends to only a couple of books.

A noticeably absent family is necessary and a completely dead family makes for a better story because then she actually has a perceived reason to be a moody, antisocial, self-absorbed little bitch. Do this even though, in all likelihood, she would be all of the above with a perfectly normal family.

2. Create a perfect hero.

It is VERY important that your hero be perfect in almost every regard. Unlike the female protagonist who can disregard her appearance, he must not only be more attractive than a GQ model without any of the effort put into his appearance, but he must also be thoughtful, intelligent and mysterious.

In no way is he to reflect almost every teenage boy to have ever existed and he must have no desire to find a partner for himself who is in anyway comparable in looks, kindness, intelligence or perfection.

Like this!

If he is a vampire or some such immortal then he must be ridiculously wealthy. If he is a werewolf then he is allowed to be poor but must make up for it with incredible bedroom skills.

He needn’t have a personality that extends beyond mysterious, sexy and in love with the female protagonist. Naturally, in this respect, Meyers, Mead, Marr and Stiefvater are something like overachievers - but if Noel, Saintcrow, Clare, Kate and Fitzpatrick are any indication, then we need know little more about the hero other than the fact that he’s gorgeous, has a secret and is in love. History, friends, likes, dislikes, family, passions, interests, hobbies and personality flaws are all negligible information that is taking up precious space in your novel. Especially when you could be injecting more drooling from the female protagonist in place of any kind of characterization for your hero.

Your book will sell better if the hero stalks, follows, obsesses over and actively pursues the heroine beyond any realm of believability. You could triple your audience just by having him watch her sleep.

3. Create useless friends.

It’s important to reiterate to the young adult generation that nobody other than the hero is important. Since domestic abuse begins with one partner manoeuvring the other to have limited contact with anyone else, we must strive to normalize this in literature. Thus the female protagonist shouldn’t have anyone close enough to her that she can’t break contact or eventually forget about them. It’s very important that her full focus, socialization and all of her needs are eventually devoted or met by the male protagonist.

To aid this, her friends must be selfish, vain, crazy, slutty, uncaring or in other ways undeserving of the heroine’s attentions and affections. It’s very important that she never call them on their poor, damaging and graceless friendship but must lovingly worry about them for the minimal amount of time acceptable to the reader before once again completely focusing on the mysterious hero.

4. Mix in a twisted, convoluted plot designed entirely to provide dramatic and sexy subplot.

It’s important that the plot, no matter how unlikely, must revolve around the hero saving the heroine. The villains do not necessarily need to have realistic or conceivable motivations for their actions. As long as the hero gets to save the day at least three or four times then your book will be profitable!

Please remember that the actual plot of your story needn’t truly begin until at least 350 pages into your story. The longer you can stall any interesting event occuring, the less thinking you will actually need to do.

Plus - FOR FREE - extras to help 'improve' your novel, the bottom line of your sales, and the expedient destruction of your soul.

-How to create a senseless mythology.

Mythology is more of a concept rather than something that needs to be respected or honoured. Vampires don’t need to refrain from daylight and angels no longer need to “fall” for good they can now be redeemed like us! The good news is that creating your own mythology, disregarding anything written before, allows you to twist and bastardize the plot beyond any recognizably interesting concept!

-Explanations as to why research could actually DAMAGE your profit!

Research takes time, energy and intelligence. Why do it? You’ve got ten fingers (presumably) and an attention span that extends past anything that could be compared to a gnat (even if it is only barely). Simply make it up as you go! For example: Ever is psychic. Research may tell us that this has something to do with receiving visions of the future or possibly commnicating with ghosts. Yet research is boring. Instead, she is imbued with the following powers that we guess can kind of be put under a psychic umbrella if we force enough information and logic out of our brains first: Mind reading, visions of near-present and future, personal life knowledge of any person she physically touches, seeing ghosts, seeing auras, literary osmosis from touching any written object, drawing the answers from any written question placed before her and any other supernatural abilities that seem convenient at the time.

-Detailed observations on why the Deus Ex Machina rocks.

Tying together a plot, even if you work to keep it as non-complicated or infantile as possible, is hard! It’s much easier to ignore tying together a number of plot points in any believable fashion and instead rely on some Deus Ex Machina to come in and take care of thoughtful planning for you!

-How to expand one, nonsensical idea into a series and why this is more profitable than originality!

Last, but not least! Ensure that your story is somewhat open ended so that you can create a series out of it! Research shows that people, even if they are intelligent enough to see that you’re writing is becoming progressively shittier and nonsensical, will often still purchase books in the series in order to find out what happens. So rather than creating a new story with new characters, simply beat the same old horse (it needn’t really be a horse – simply a pile of shit that’s been forced into a horse-like shape) for at least three or more books in order to squeeze every last cent out of the franchise that you can! 

Evermore by Alyson Noel

"In this lifetime you're nothing more than you appear to be: a stupid, selfish, ignorant, spoiled little girl who thinks the world lives or dies on whether she gets to go out with some good-looking boy at school. Even if your death wouldn't accomplish something so long-awaited, glorious, and grand, I'd still relish this moment, killing you."

I'm sorry, was I supposed to agree with absolutely everything the evil villain said and wait, with baited breath, for her to kill Lucinda Price painfully on my behalf?

This review has spoilers, by the way.

I have a list of rules for authors. Kind of like a checklist to ensure that their novel is going to be good. This book breaks them all. For posterity I'm going to list exactly which ones and why.

1. Don’t assume that your audience isn’t as smart as you.

Statistically speaking, you’re probably sitting on a fat, old average like the rest of us. Try to flex our grey matter. Please.

Lauren Kate thinks we're idiots. She really, really does. The prologue basically immediately informs the reader that Lucinda Price has been reincarnated and that black shadows follow her around ready to engulf her and take her away. The title of the book is Fallen, and at page 51 Daniel's last name is revealed to be Grigori. Anyone with half a brain already knows the gist of this story. That Daniel is a fallen angel and the Lucinda Price is his loved one reincarnated. yet 389 pages later, Lauren Kate pulls this out like it's some kind of massive reveal. No. Fuck no. Having your main character come to a conclusion almost four hundred pages after the reader is just an insult. You never learn more than this by the way. Other than a vague explanation as to the true function of the shadows - that is it. *Kat's attempts to pierce her own eyes a la Jocasta*

2. Don’t cover up bad writing and plot with a sexy, smoldering character.

Chances are they won’t be nearly sexy, or smoldering enough. It is painful to read badly written literature so just get it right the first time, please.

The writing in this novel is terrible, by the way. The editing is even worse. Perhaps the copy-editor had a hard time focusing on the text while her brain hemorrhaged as well. The sentences were choppy, they flowed poorly and the word choices were sometimes just plain weird.

5. Characterization is everything.

This doesn’t mean that your characters have to be likable at all times – or likable at all. But they have to be interesting, worth reading and fleshed out. They have to react to situations within their character or in relation to their personal growth and they have to reflect the plot and the changes in your story.

Characterization... where do I even start. *sighs* okay. Here we go, but this is going to be painful and filled with profanities.

Lucinda Price - If I ever saw this girl in the street, I would probably punch her in the face. I have never read such a useless, pathetic, tragically stupid female protagonist IN MY LIFE.

Luce's first encounter with Daniel results in him flipping her off. After that he ignores her, rejects her, accuses her of stalking him, ditches her, suggests that she is annoying, accuses her of being an intruder... the list goes on. GET A HINT, WOMAN! HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU! Only he does, and why they fall in love or want anything to do with each other is probably the only fucking mystery in this whole book. No wait, I scratch that. They DO belong together. They're both prats. I wouldn't wish them on anybody else.

She's a useless, stupid idiot and he's a selfish, moronic asshole. It must be true love. Daniel treats Luce like shit. Luce accepts Daniel's treatment of her (the fact that she does this causes ME to agree with Daniel's assessment), internalizes it, agonizes over it and still goes back for more. Again and again. The ONE time. I mean it. ONE FUCKING TIME that Luce sticks up to Daniel and tells him not to treat her like an idiot (the idiot that she is) he kisses her (probably just to shut her up - for which I'm eternally grateful) then she immediately stops requesting that he treat her like an adult and an equal and he goes right back to muttering cryptic things without explaining them because her puny female mind couldn't possibly comprehend them.

Oh. And ANOTHER thing! She obsessively stalks him, against all odds seeks him out again and again. Finally, when he DOES tell her the truth, what does she do? She runs away. That's right. Like a big fucking pansy, it turns out that her puny female mind really CAN'T handle information. I feel like muttering that scene out of anchorman where Ron Burgundy says:

"I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."

Daniel is crap. Need I say more? Crappity crap crap CRAP! "Oh dear, I love this girl, but if I kiss her she's going to DIE!"

Well here's a fucking idea, dickhead, DON'T KISS HER! (Or don't kiss her on the lips *winks* at least not the ones on her face! *Chuckles evilly*) when she shows up, as she inevitably will, run away. Go to a club and pick up a chick and take her home for "coffee" or to show her your special angel wings. Whatever floats your boat. Don't stick around and interact with her and torture yourself by getting close.

Other characters in this book are two-dimensional. If there were such a concept as one-dimensional, I'm sure Kate would have striven to achieve that instead. They are stand in cardboard cut outs and easily forgettable and inconsequential.

6. Your story needs to have an actual story.

It needs to have conflict, resolution; climax, dénouement; beginning and an end. They don’t always need to occur in the standard order, but something needs to happen.

Can you read that, Lauren Kate? Something needs to fucking happen! Not just 401 pages of stalking! That's not a fucking story!

7. Research.

Know what the hell you’re writing about and put the work and research into your story. Nothing is more annoying then reading a book about an Anglican Preacher in the seventeenth century burning witches, when you know perfectly well how very historically inaccurate that is.

This author knows nothing about angels. Or the Bible. Or religion. She shows no concept for the Biblical nature of angels, their real function, how they differ from humans. It's. Just. So. Fail. Kill me now. I felt like putting on my sexy librarian outfit, pulling out my cain (hyuk hyuk) and giving a very interesting instruction about the Bible in both its modern context and the times in which it is historically acknowledged to be written as well as the spiritual nature or angels and demons and heaven. Probably would have been a lot more fun than reading this book because I look very sexy in my outfits and I give great feedback to my students!

And finally - the last rule that this story broke:

8. Consider what message your story is telling.

Remember that usually, and historically, stories don’t usually exist just for the hell of it. Stories have messages and meaning. They teach us and give us a perspective on life. Storytelling carries a great responsibility because there are few things more emotive to people than stories.

My husband and I have been together for seven years now and I can confidently say I love him. I love him. I think about him. I know him. Most of all, I know WHY I love him and I know WHY he's perfect for me and why nobody else on this planet would ever do.

Fallen seems to think it has something to say about Love. Albeit, I wonder if even it knows what its opinion on love is. Maybe that love conquers all? No, not really since in the book it doesn't. Maybe that love is eternal? Well, yeah maybe. An eternal pain-in-the-ass is the theme it really seems to be going for.

However, I hate the version of love in this book. It's some mystical, unexplainable tie in this book. Something that just is without any further information provided. I can't help but compare Daniel's alleged "sacrifice" in losing Luce over and over again because he keeps selfishly kissing her (when he kisses her she dies apparently) with real love. If he really loved her then he'd leave as soon as he caught a glimpse of her. He'd move across the country. He'd keep running from her until the end of time for her own good.

When I compare it to how completely unselfish my husband is with his love, I can never excuse either Daniel or Luce for their actions.

The relationship in this book is so unbalanced. There is SO much information that Daniel never gives her because she just needs to trust him and apparently her fragile little female mind won't be able to handle it. Then of course, there is the complete and utter power imbalance in their relationship. This book is almost an argument against feminism. To make the boy love you, you must accept his treatment and patiently wait out his scorn and derision. You're supposed to obsess over the boy of your dreams and imagine who he is in complete contradiction to the person he's shown you to be. Somehow this is supposed to be romantic. This is supposed to be real love.

Well, I live real love. I live it every day in its very boring, mundane existence. I live with my soulmate and we go day from day. This book is nothing like love. This book knows obsession, hormones and drama. It knows nothing about love. It is devoid of respect, attention, tenderness and the freely giving love that I know to be real.

The back of the book has a teaser for the next book stating:

"Can you bear the... TORMENT

The next book in the Fallen series by Lauren Kate"

The answer is: No. I really, really can't bear it. I'll leave it to people who don't mind having their braincells sucked into a black hole of anti-feminist propaganda.


Fallen by Lauren Kate

Do you remember that Taylor Swift song about Romeo and Juliet, Love Story?

It's lyrics go something like this:

I'm a pretty little girl who knows nothing about literature
So I sing a song about starcrossed lovers
Whose only problem is that Daddy doesn't approve
But it's all good because we get married anyway.
Just like that cliffnote's story about Romeo and Juliet!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!









Scott Pilgrim gif of girl shooting herself in the head

We have a tendency with YA literature today, to have stories with the super duper happiest of happy endings where everything works out and true love's only real complications are external difficulties, and self-esteem issues for the girl.

I'm trying to think of the perfect example here and because this review is full of cheap shots at easy targets I'm going to go with...








TWILIGHT!

Come on down, Bella and Edward!

Kick her in the balls


Now, don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with happy endings and butterflies and rainbows and kittens. They're lovely, lovely things and in the hands of an accomplished author, they do well. There's also nothing wrong with having a relationship that's troubled by only external forces. Once again, in the right hands it's fine. I'm not being a miserly old Grinch here. Okay, maybe a little bit, but moving on!

The problem is that in real life, relationships are usually impacted by internal factors. So when you base your story on perfection that can only be tainted by evil people trying to destroy your true love, and twist the story to finally reach that happily ever after, then what you sacrifice is often the very real, almost-tangible, relatable emotions that a more realistic, thoughtful storyline could bring.

And also, Romeo and Juliet is a TRAGEDY, Taylor Swift. A fucking tragedy. You know, like your singing? And that surprised face you make every time someone compliments you? You do it. You totally do it. You know you do.



Kick her in the balls
Thank you, Kieran Culkan. You're a fresh breeze amongst the stagnant world of apathetic performers.

Now what I love about Laini Taylor, other than everything, is that this woman is made of fairytales. I swear she's like woven together by sweet kisses and dewdrops. She's been sung into being by blind minstrels bathed in moonlight. She's wrapped in gossamer and shrived in pure white swan feathers. You know, all that magical shit. She's that. The woman is magic and she writes magic. If anyone could take Romeo and Juliet, mate it with a YA paranormal romance and produce a love child that people don't want to drown at birth - then it would be Laini Taylor.

This book is powerful, emotive, heart breaking, anguishing!

What I'm saying...the point I'm trying to make here...the truth is... Laini Taylor kicked my heart in the ass.

And I LIKED it! 

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

What does it take to inspire someone to read a book?

Is it enough to give a heartfelt plea to the book's worthiness?

Maybe a meme? Or jazzhands? Will jazzhands convince you?
















Turtle meme doing jazzhands. Your mind is blown.
I know, a meme about jazzhands! Admit it! This is pretty damn irresistible!

Okay, well, if you're one of those strange people who would choose a convincing, well-informed review over a meme of a tiny turtle doing jazzhands then...









More jazzhands
Are you sure I can't convince you with jazzhands? Maybe throw in a shuffle for you?

Seraphina is half dragon, and not because her father struggles with the basic nuances of the English language.

I said slay, not lay!
Well, maybe a little bit...

In this epic fantasy by debut author, Rachel Hartman, Seraphina is an abomination who must hide her true self from everyone lest she and her father are killed for heresy. Dragons have the ability to fold themselves into human bodies and have maintained a strenuous peace with the human kingdoms. Seraphina's life is put into jeopardy when court intrigue and mystery implicates that the treaty between dragons and humans is in danger.

Hartman's novel is almost flawlessly executed. The novel, whilst long, is easily readable. Hartman doesn't rush her narrative, but neither does it seem to drag or falter.

Aside from a few brief flashback sessions, the story is carried entirely by Seraphina who may be half human and half dragon, but she is all brilliant. She is the equivalent of some kind of bear/dragon hybrid. Like, a bear/dragon hybrid that can breath fire. Yeah, that level of coolness.








Bear/dragon hybrid breathing fire
Well, what do you know? They have a meme for that!

Often in novels, the female MC will profess to be extremely smart but, much to my chagrin, behave agonizingly stupidly and prove to have the mental faculties of a gnat. Seraphina is the total opposite of TSTL. She is brilliant, charming, ballsy and brave. All the while, she is also tactile, honest and fully-developed. Actually, I can not think of a single character in this book that I could argue as being two-dimensional or aggravating.

In fact, I absolutely loved the portrayal of strong female characters in this book. It was done with such grace and humanity that I found myself respecting most of the women in this book. Glisselda and the Queen were fantastic characters whom I absolutely adored.

Kiggs, as the love interest, was believable, endearing and wonderful. His character, so eccentric, so insightful and honourable, completely won me over. His relationship with Seraphina was genuine, subtle and romantic. The best thing? He wasn't any over-developed Romanticized Alpha Male! Thank goodness! He rocked it without needing to bully, oppress or corner Seraphina in any way!

The pacing is excellent for a lengthy novel. I gobbled it up and only at the very end did I feel any desire to speed things up. It is also beautifully well-written. The imagery alone was breath-takingly beautiful. The prose were polished and elegant. It was a pleasure to read. This novel was so full of emotion, beauty and poetry that I was honestly startled because I expected none of it.

I must confess that I am an acquaintance of Hartman here on GoodReads. I had grown a healthy respect for her opinions and expression, so I entered into reading Seraphina with a certain amount of skepticism and trepidation. I wonder if Hartman felt a similar trepidation when she saw that I had applied for her ARC and decided to read it! Because, let's face it, I'm not exactly known to be the most generous of reviewers. That's probably actually an understatement.

If you think that my opinion of this book has been swayed by my association with the author, then feel free to make your own mind up about it. I'm sure more reviews will be popping up soon.

But, to be honest, I didn't know what to expect when starting this novel. I've read work by friends before and had to put them aside, with embarrassment. This time is different. When Seraphina is released, I will buy this novel and treasure it. I will probably read it again and again when I need a laugh, or a romantic story or something to relax to. In fact, I loved this novel so much that I want to recommend it to everyone. I want to go get everyone I know and make them read it. This is the kind of novel that deserves to be published, that deserves to be successful. We need more of this out there. Not another trashy teen YA. This is the good shit. Right here.

So, my question is, what will it take to inspire you to read this book?




This ARC was provided to me by Random House publishers. No money or favours were exchanged.*

Seraphina by Rachel Hartman

The problem with this book is that it's not real.

Juliet Marillier is my arch-nemesis and main rival. We've been competing against each other for the coveted title of #1 most followed Australian for awhile now. The battle has been vicious. The competition fierce.

oblivious
Okay, maybe she's not as "aware" of this competition as I am... so what if it appears that she's almost never even ON Goodreads and by all accounts may actually have forgotten that she has a GoodReads? It still counts as a competition, right?

But since I've beaten her three weeks in a row, I feel confident that I can once again read her books.

This was a mistake. My jealousy only makes me hate her more. Because this book was fantastic, fantabulous, fantasmagorical.

Recipe for a Juliet Marillier book:

3 parts brilliant written prose
2 parts whimsical fancy
1 awesome female protagonist
1 can of whoop-arse

whoop-arse
Available from all major grocery chains and retail outlets

I doubt anybody does magical faery realms and myth retellings with the style, flair and gothic majesty of Juliet Marillier.

I strongly recommend this book to anybody with an inner child and a desire to have their mind blown. 

Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier

Imagine for a moment that you were at an event, like the 1995 Rugby World cup where South Africa both hosted and won. Imagine being there in the heat of that moment - the cheer and ebulation. That light, almost unreal sense that the world has faded away and there is only that moment. Nothing else is important and you want to quietly capture the complete bliss you are experiencing and put it in a bottle somewhere. Hopefully at some future date you can take it out and rekindle those emotions and bask in that one, perfect moment again.

Then imagine that you are standing outside of a train station. A train has just crashed in front of you. Pleople are screaming, and the stench of smoking meat is tickling your nose as your eyes sting and water. There's that same feeling. That feeling of, "Is this really happening?" Light. Dizzy. Disbelief. Overwhelming to the point of nausea. You can't forget that moment. It will haunt you. Every time you catch a wiff of smoke those memories will come flooding back, whether you want them to or not.

Same feelings, at their most basic level, but entirely different in their mode. In the first situation you jump and holler. You'll hug those around you, even if you don't know them, and celebrate together. Knitted into temporary friendship because you're experiencing the same, awesome event. For weeks later you'll tell anybody who listens that you were there. You'll tell them about how incredible it was and try to impart on them some semblance of what you felt.

Cut back to the second scenario where you'll stand quietly in solidarity with those around you. Once again, knitted together. Brothers and sisters formed from tragedy. You may hold each other and gather around silently. When other people ask you about it, you'll get that look in your eyes that tells them you've seen things.

You're just as altered as the first scene, but where there was ebulation then, there is horror now.

This is what happens when I read certain books. Books like Stolen fit in the first category. They touch me and move me, so I run around telling everyone that I read it. It was amazing. Share in this experience with me. I want to help you feel what I felt.

Then there are books like this. Now I quietly tell you that I read it. That it touched me. Changed me. I look you in the eye and I don't want to elaborate. I quitely turn away and think a little bit more on what I've seen and read, and how it made me feel.

And maybe if you've read this book too, you might be able to understand why there's really nothing more for me to say. 

Let The Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist

Sometimes I feel like Marchetta books should come with a public health warning.

"Marchetta Fever," it would say.

"Symptoms include: pain, aching or burning in the chest region indicating a broken heart.

Uncontrollable weeping, both happy and sad, may occur frequently. More serious cases run the risk of having their mind blown.

This condition has no known cure."

That's me. That's me with every single one of these books.

I went into my local bookstore to order me some Marchetta this year. Let me explain the community I live in. The largest shopping center has, I kid you not, FIVE lingerie stores. Stores entirely devoted to selling ladies underwear and such accessories. It has one tiny bookstore. A bookstore that is going out of business. A bookstore that had no fewer than ten copies of A Shore Thing and Confessions of a Guidette. Did they have any Marchetta or Laini Taylor? No. One paperback copy of Froi of the Exiles was tucked away somewhere. This is a travesty. This should be considered a Federal Crime. The Unicorn Squad needs to get on that shit and put someone away in the Candy Cane House of Pain for violating awesomeness.

Marchetta's books are more than just readable, well-written, well-characterized novels of great spirit and imagination. There is a beauty to them, a magic to them which wafts through every sentence of every page. It's not just finely crafted writing, though it is that too. It's a living, beating heart and beautiful but broken soul.

Does it matter that this book was 600 pages long? Not to me. Not when every page was breath-takingly spectacular. The themes are almost always the same. Loss, pain, healing, family, loyalty. I love the complication and depth of her characterization.

Whatever it is that Marchetta does, it speaks to me. It touches me in parts of my heart that I had locked away and worked hard to forget. Sometimes it hurts but she always, always remembers to patch me up again when she's finished.

So, if you're feeling a little lacklustre about your reading selection, why don't you try getting yourself a case of Marchetta fever? It just might be what cures you.


Froi of the Exiles by Melina Marchetta

Usually when reviewing a book, it's possible to give away a few minor plot points, in order to discuss the theme and intentions of the author, without actually spoiling anything in the book. With Shadowfever, however, pretty much discussing anything is a spoiler.

spoiler
In fact, admitting the existence of the book is actually a spoiler.

I can't even really discuss what characters feature in this story because that, too, would be a spoiler. This review has absolutely no spoilers in the main part. Down below, if you scroll to the very bottom of the page, you will see some comments and thoughts of mine that contain spoilers but they are well marked and easily avoided.

My best chance for providing a spoiler-free review for you is to just describe my general feel of the book.

awesome
This is really the easiest way for me to do that.

Reading this book was like that scene out of Napoleon Dynamite where Pedro promises his class that if they vote for him, all their dreams will come true.

Shadowfever was a little like that. In the first four books, KMM promised that if I just picked this one up, ALL MY DREAMS WOULD COME TRUE.

And you know what? KMM wasn't fucking around.

techno viking
Pictured: Not Fucking Around

She did everything I believed was absolutely impossible. She did it with class, she did it with style and she actually made me happy that I put my faith in this series.

That's a pretty big order to fill.

As promised, the Shadowfever delivered WITH fireworks.

Part of it was that Mac was such a singularly self-introspective character. Every thought, every action, every word or omission was examined with cruel, objective efficiency. And even when she lied to herself, she always came back later with a big hammer of truth and shattered those illusions until those illusions were SORRY and promised to never illude (made up word alert) again.

She defied a mainstay of western literature in her savagery and need for vengeance. Most (Disclaimer: Not all) literature idealizes woman as the forgiving creature who prefers to get on with her life as opposed to wasting it on vengeance. Probably so that she can get down to the baby making that is so important.

This is a particular problem in the romance genre where KMM first made her big break.

Women do not traditionally want to hold the cooling body of their enemy while blood drips to the floor and their hand twists the weapon that has brought an end to their vengeance. Usually, that's a man thing.

But, you see, Mac takes responsibility for her own vengeance. She takes responsibility for the world - despite how much she doesn't want to. We see repeatedly in the first four books that as much as she wants to shift the burden, she doesn't. That takes a special kind of strength. All the while reading this series, I was only glad it was Mac's story and not mine.

Kat's story would have ended with shagging V'lane ruthlessly because Kat couldn't keep it in her pants when sexy came calling. The end. I just would have trusted my gut and hoped that Barrons, Rowena or V'lane of the MacKeltars knew better. Who was I to decide the fate of the world?

Shadowfever sorely tests that aspect of Mac, that strength to not rely on others to solve her problems. I cannot sing KMM's praises enough for this. Princesses who sit in castles waiting for the noble prince to find them, romance heroine's whose honourable, rich lover turns up to rescue them... Their stories pale in comparison to a lead character who rolls with the punches that life gives her and does everything in her power to punch back.

The single problem that I have with this book is its inability to let go of other western (and other cultures are to blame too) ideals that we place on our female leads.

The concept of action for selfish reasons is briefly addressed in this book and I felt that KMM was handling it so well. I felt that Mac's selfishness and desire to use power for her own means were actually so well justified by the past text that maybe she SHOULD be allowed to use the ultimate power to achieve her means.

This concept was later twisted and garbled though and, without going into detail, was the only small botherance I really had with what was other a fantastic novel and a spectacular end to this amazing series.


SPOILERS BELOW
***************



































**Spoilers Commencing:**
There is actually more of a reason that I didn't give this book more than four stars and why I might decide to bump it down to three.

Reading up to this book several fans, including myself, picked apart the other four looking for clues. We were so sure that Barron's identity, Mac's mysterious past, the Unseelie King, the purpose of the book... we were so sure that the answers were staring us right in the face and that we just needed to find the right set of evidence to figure it out.

But now I know that for the lie it was. Some things were cleverly concealed, like the identity of Alanna's killer and the holder of her journal. However, all of the rest, I feel, were kept from us. You can't deduce what Barrons is from the pitiful amount of information provided in the first four books and nothing will prepare you for the rather annoying truth. He's something never before seen. Never before heard of. There's no myth, no legend. It was never something we COULD guess.

Same with Mac's origins. How could you actually know that the book was capable of absorbing itself into a fetus? You can't. You never have enough information that you could have deduced that.

So whilst I really enjoyed Shadowfever, I felt a bit cheated that KMM wasn't the brilliant creator, cleverly concealing the truth so that the truly observant amongst her readership could arrive at the right conclusions. She just didn't give us enough information. Maybe that sounds like whining. Maybe it sounds like a petulant child, stamping its foot and saying, "It's not fair!"

Well, truthfully, if a mystery writer finished a novel and the hero came out and said, "It was the Maid in the poolroom with the candlestick but you wouldn't have been able to guess that because I'm only now presenting the information necessary to come to that conclusion!" Well, in that case you'd think the mystery writer was cracked. Half the fun is in trying to be smarter than the protagonist. In this case, none of us really had a chance.

Also, Mac's a big whimpy coward who should have told Barrons right from the getgo that she loved him.

My other problem with this entire series is the nature of women and men portrayed. Mac and Dani are the only good, powerful women portrayed and Dani is just a child.

The Fae are supposed to be matriarchal yet they are effectively led by V'lane. The women don't really have any power. The so-called queen is weak, ineffectual and needs to be protected by a Prince who also does all the work for her. In the confrontation between Seelie and Unseelie we see that the female fae have no voice or authority over the men and their opinions are easily discarded.

All the big players in this book are men with the sole exception of Rowena, who is not only a total bitch but also weak and obviously a very poor leader with bad judgement. Women who gain power in this series, with the sole exception of Mac, become bad. The Seelie Queen is depicted as cruel, jealous and ultimately defeated by her more powerful husband.

Might makes right for Barrons and his men whose views on women make cavemen look fair and reasonable. The MacKeltars are just as bad and reading this book gives the distinct impression that Mac's vagina (and who gets it) is just as important as Mac's abilities.

Barrons becomes furious with Mac in Dreamfever for withholding information about the Book because apparently this is the one thing he's after. YET, he knows that Mac's search for her sister's killer is the one thing she's after and he is all too happy to keep information about that to himself.

Fiona gains some power by eating unseelie flesh in these novels yet she is ultimately a doormat to her petty emotions for Barrons. Not a single one of the major book players (McCabe, Malluce, O'Bannion) are female. Women simply don't have power in the Fever world. Even if they're supposed to.

Shadowfever by Karen Marie Moning

Sometimes your book reading experience comes down to one single factor: Do you like the MC?

That character can make or break a book.

Name the biggest praise and the biggest complaint about J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye.  If you said they're both Holden Caulfield then you get the gold star. 

This book was teetering on a precipice for me.  It could either land back on solid ground or go toppling off into the deep end.  eventually, the main characters, Aria and Perry, are what stacked it back to being a great read.

There's a lot to like about Rossi's futuristic dystopian novel.  The world building is fascinating and vivid, yet simplistic enough for most audiences to grasp reasonably well.  The writing is fair enough and I felt that it was reasonably tight and serviceable. It wasn't a perfect novel but I feel that it achieved what it was meant to and that was inspiring me to invest in Aria and Perry's story.

Mostly I'm just impressed with Rossi because she clearly is a badass.

I can just imagine how her meeting with the editor went:

"Ms. Rossi, thank you for coming.  We love your first copy but we're concerned about this Aether thing.  What is it?  Where did it come from?  How does it work?"

Rossi sits back in her chair and kicks her feet up onto the editor's table.  She pulls out a raw falcon egg and starts eating it. 

"So?" she asks between bites.

"Well, you never clarify how it works?  Why it's there?  How did it come to be there?"

Rossi shrugs casually.  "Meh.  I don't give a shit.  It's there.  YA takes it for granted that a 108 year old vampire would fall in love with a teenager.  They'll figure out this Aether shit.  They have google."

"But-" the editor tries to continue.

Rossi pins the editor with a withering gaze.  "I could devote ten boring pages to giving some lameass sciency explanation of the Aether or I could add in 20% more awesome.  Also, I know how to falcon punch.  I learned it from the mother of this egg I stole before I gave a right hook and uppercut to a shark."

The editor decides that surrender is the better part of valor and everyone learns an important lesson that day. Especially the wild life. 

The End.




So basically, I like this book, and even if Rossi does eat raw falcon eggs, I like her characters and I like her style.

And hopefully you will too.  If you know what's good for you.

Under The Never Sky by Veronica Rossi

Incarnate had such an interesting premise that I rushed to request the ARC.  The concept of a society of people constantly reincarnating and being reborn to each other was too good to pass up.  Blue Bloods had a poor crack at it and I hoped Incarnate would fare better.  Alas, no.  What Incarnate had the opportunity of doing was taking philosophy by the horns and riding that bull like a cowboy at a rodeo.  Instead, incarnate chose Philosophy!Bull's friend, Philosophy Show Pony and skipped along very slowly and sweetly to Romance Ranch.  There it stayed, refusing to budge from it's very comfortable stall until the last thirty pages where it promptly collapsed in a fit of seizures and died.  I can only hope Meadow's next book in the series won't be beating a dead horse.

One could reasonably argue that this is just YA literature and perhaps I was expecting too much.  However, I think that's not crediting teenagers with enough.  A book such as Incarnate has the opportunity to reflect on our society in so many ways, to do so much!  How does possession change when no one really dies?  How does parenting change when babies are really just miniature adults waiting to get back to their own lives?  How does society change?  Is there really murder and would it even be a big deal?  What about debt?  What happens if you can't die to escape that?  What does it do to a psyche to die and be reborn constantly?  Over time you will have probably given birth to, married, or been parented by almost everyone you know.  How does that change the way you see people?

These questions are only very briefly looked at and none are truly answered in any satisfactory way.  Instead, the world of Incarnate is eerily like our own with only a few minor changes to the facade.

This is not meant to imply that Meadows is a bad author.  What she does do, she does well.  The focus in the novel is heavily situated on the romance.  It's a very sweet, endearing romance and the characters are lovely.  Yet, if I'd wanted a cutsie romance then I have chicken soup for the soul for that.

No, Meadow can write well with lovely descriptions and sweet romantic talk and tense, dramatic, emotional scenes.  If I were to sum up her writing style and JUST the romantic aspects of this book, I would say 'lovely'.

But this book looked to be more than just a YA romance and in that it failed.  The mystery was flirted with occasionally but otherwise forgotten until the very end, there was almost no action or suspense to speak of outside the very beginning and very end.  Some characters were contradictory and nonsensical, some plot elements just didn't fit, etc.

Mostly, where the book failed is that I have no interest in reading any more of this series.  I've read my fill of chaste kisses, reluctant love, obstacles to affection, with a cursory nod at plot that only advances at a snails pace amid so much potential.  That's all this book was and I currently don't see any potential for the series to be anything more than that.  Thus I have no intention at the moment of reading this book's incarnate.

KatKennedy

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